Chapter 21

Seth and I hadn’t spoken since our fight. He’d remained in his room, sleeping. Sleeping was what he’d done when he first came aboard, which made my tail twitch in worry. I stepped inside me and mine’s quarters after meeting with Talvax as well as Pimtimzol and turned to Seth’s door. It was open.

Maybe Seth and I could actually talk?

Hearing his deep voice that sent shivers down my spine and feeling his smooth skin that was so much cooler than mine had become a fierce ache the last two days. I needed to see him. I needed to hold him. I needed to heal the rift between us.

I peeked into his room; I didn’t see him anywhere. “My Seth?”

No one answered.

I sagged against the door frame. One of his soft jackets was in a pile at the end of his bed, and his bedding was in disarray. His screen rested haphazardly on the ground, and Lucy’s toys littered the space. An itch to arrange his things swept through me.

Another thing we hadn’t discussed.

Nonetheless, as I took a deep lungful of his perfect citrusy scent, my muscles relaxed. My mate. Seth. His name was like nectar on my tongue.

Lucy rubbed against my leg.

“Where is our Seth?” I asked her. She smashed her head into my shin. “Do you think he’ll stay with me?”

She chittered and picked up her ball. I chuckled. She always wanted to play. I tossed the ball. Lucy bounded off, snatched it, and returned.

“Why doesn’t he understand?” I wanted to protect him. The very thought of losing Seth stole my breath. I would not survive his loss. A universe where Seth did not breathe the same air as me wasn’t one I had interest in living in.

“Why won’t he let me keep him safe?”

NAID manifested on the monitor. “Prince Zoltilvoxfyn would like to speak to you.”

The last of my brothers, and the one nearest to me in age. He was also my closest friend.

“Put him through to my bedroom, please,” I said.

“Yes, Prince.”

Zoltilvoxfyn’s long white hair hung over his black scales that were broken up with silver and white accents. The septum of his long nose was pierced with a gold ring and his tapered ears were threaded with gold earrings ending in long chains. His deep green eyes watched me.

“What’s going on, Pest?” he demanded.

“What do you mean, Bloom?”

“Our brothers have spoken to me, and we all know something is wrong. Does your Seth Harris not want you? Is he planning to leave?”

My mouth opened, but my words faltered. Did he want to leave? Possibly. Especially after our fight. I didn’t want him to go, but I couldn’t force him to accept me.

“Kalvoxrencol, talk to me.”

There was a reason Hallonnixmin had saved Zoltilvoxfyn for last; he could force me to speak no matter the circumstance. Conversely, I was always able to make Zoltilvoxfyn talk, even when he didn’t want to. A weapon my older brothers had wielded against us multiple times throughout our lives.

The story spilled out of my lips—everything, unfiltered and without reservation. My words wouldn’t travel past Zoltilvoxfyn. He might relate generals to our family, but he would keep the particulars to himself.

“You’re an idiot,” Zoltilvoxfyn said.

“Excuse me?”

“You yelled at your Seth Harris for something that wasn’t his fault and that he handled remarkably well.” I opened my mouth to defend myself, but he kept talking. “You were frightened, but view it from his perspective. He was swept away by the crowd, defended himself, then you bullied him when he returned.”

“I did not bully him.”

“You forced him to go to the medbay. Your Seth Harris can make his own decisions.”

I crossed my arms, tail thrashing. “He is mine.”

“For now.”

His words were a knife to the gut.

“I don’t say this to hurt you, but you do this, Kalvoxrencol. You hide, and then lash out. I don’t want you to miss out on the best thing that has ever happened to you,” he said.

“What do you suggest?”

“Talk to him.”

Pimtimzol had said the same thing, yet I found it difficult to do so. I had many indiscretions in my past, and all were marks against my honor. I didn’t deserve Seth, but how I needed him.

“What if he doesn’t want me?”

My older brother met my gaze. “Then you let us hold you together until you can stand on your own.”

I was unable to even imagine such a future. If Seth left, he would take my soul with him, and I was unlikely to survive. No one, not even my brothers, would be able to rescue me from such a loss.

“He’s a warrior soul?” Zoltilvoxfyn asked.

“He is.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said.

Seth’s perfect warrior soul was yet another thing I tried not to think about.

“Pest.”

I ignored his soft tone. “I should go.”

“Talk to your mate, and let us in,” Zoltilvoxfyn said before ending the session.

I needed to talk to Seth, but I didn’t have to talk about my past right now. What I needed was to sort through the fight because I would never be calm until he was in my embrace again.

“NAID, where is Seth?”

NAID materialized. “Seth is not on the ship.”

My soul froze. “What?”

“Seth Harris is not on the ship.”

“Where is he?” I demanded, tail whipping.

“Seth departed with the most recent shuttle to the planet’s surface,” she said in a calm voice.

“When did he leave?”

“Over two hours ago.”

I rushed to the door, shouting into my touchstone, “Talvax.”

“Yes, Prince.”

“My Seth is on the planet. Alone. Scan for him.”

A few moments passed. “A storm is making it difficult for our sensors, but he is in the general area of the port.”

“Transport him to the ship,” I ordered.

“I can’t, Prince. The storm makes it unsafe to do so, especially because Peveiti technology is not compatible with ours.”

“I need a shuttle. Now.”

Captain Talvax hesitated, then replied, “I will have one prepped. I assume you are going?”

“Yes.” Seth needed me, and I would not let anything happen to him ever again.

A tinge of fear twisted under my skin. I could do this. I was not weak, and I did not need protection.

I had no idea where to find the alien who’d helped me. While I hadn’t been truthful with NAID when I spoke of my reasons to go to the planet, I might as well thank the alien since I was here.

Approaching the closest vendor, I asked, “Do you know where I can find…” I paused, wracking my brain for the alien’s name. “Gaptu?”

She gestured down the lane. “She owns a shop that sells jewelry.”

“Thanks.” So Gaptu was her name. Thank God.

Head down, I tried to ignore the swelling crowd and loud voices. In my distraction, I almost went past Gaptu’s shop, but a flash of pink glowing tentacles caught my attention. I stepped into the shop right next to the water. The trunk of a tree speared the center of the round building, and jewelry of all kinds lay on tables and hung from the walls.

“Hello,” I said, head ducking. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Are you lost again, Child?”

“I came on my own to thank you.”

She floated, tentacles moving over the ground. “I saw you break away from your caretaker, so I went to retrieve you.”

“I’m not a child.”

“I know.”

“Then why do you call me one? And why did you care that Kal and I were separated?”

Her many eyes blinked at different times. “You are a child by my standards, as most people are. I am one of the ancient dwellers of these oceans. As to why I cared, mates should not be separated.”

My mouth fell open. “How could you tell?”

“It’s obvious to my eyes.”

I cast my gaze about, unsure of what to say when a miniature version of Gaptu, but green, came down the stairs at the back of the shop. They clung to Gaptu’s side and watched me. I waved, but it seemed to frighten what I assumed was a child because they pressed closer to Gaptu.

“Tati, no need to be afraid,” Gaptu said. “This is my grandchild.”

“Hi.” I waved.

They slid under Gaptu, disappearing under her tentacles.

“Don’t mind Tati,” Gaptu said. “I watch all my grandchildren, and Tati is the shyest.”

“I get that.” Searching for something else to say, I checked out the shop”s wares. I stopped on a gold necklace with a rough-cut purple stone. Kal’s eyes were almost the exact same shade. “How much is this?”

Gaptu rattled off a price I didn’t understand—money and how the currency of the Coalition worked didn’t make sense yet. I took out my touchstone. Kal said I could scan the stone anywhere and that I didn’t need to worry about finances—a first for me. Gaptu held out a tablet, and it pinged. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad noise.

“Did it work?” I asked, tension building in my gut. Thoughts of not having any money, the embarrassment, and being asked to leave floated through my thoughts.

“Yes.” Gaptu took the necklace from me, wrapped it up in a brown piece of paper, and secured it with a green string. “I think your prince will like it.”

“How did you know?” I asked, accepting it.

“I have eyes.”

Looking at the jellyfish-like dome, I said, “Yes, you do.” Gaptu didn’t respond, so I continued, “I should go. Thank you again for helping me.”

Bobbing up and down, they said, “You should hurry. Your prince will come for you.”

“You think?”

A bell-like sound that must be laughter rang in my ears. “Hurry, Little Child, before he loses control.”

I raised my eyebrows in question, but Gaptu waved at me with multiple tentacles. Tucking the package into my pocket near my touchstone, I stepped outside. The air had grown colder in the time I was in the shop. A drop of water landed on my forehead. I glanced up, but I couldn’t see much through the thick canopy of palms.

Drop after drop fell at increasingly faster rates. People darted through the streets, into shops, and toward the plateaus. I remained wary, still bruised from my encounter with the unfriendly aliens, and continued to the port. I had no idea when another shuttle would come back, but it would probably be the safest place for me.

By the time I reached the port, the rain came down in sheets and the wind howled. I was soaked through, shoes squelching with every step. Shoulders hunched, I examined each of the shuttles but didn’t recognize the markings, so I took a seat on a bench and waited.

No one else was around, and for the first time since I’d been abducted, I was truly alone. The rain reminded me of Washington, my empty apartment, and my even emptier life. An odd, dark emotion curled in my chest like a personal rain cloud—loneliness.

I wanted to scoff. I was angry at Kal for being overbearing, but here I sat, missing him. It was ridiculous.

The crash of the waves, the whistling of the wind, and the fresh scent of rain filled my senses. I took a deep breath, simply existing. I’d often been told I lived too much in my head, not being present in the moment, and right now, I decided to simply be.

After a few minutes, I felt more relaxed than I had been in a long time. Fleeing to the planet where I’d been attacked hadn’t been a rational decision, but I’d needed to do something for myself, to prove I was capable. I didn’t hate Kal protecting me. In some ways, I loved it. Shit, no one had protected or even cared about me in years. What I hated was him or anyone else perceiving me as weak.

No new shuttles landed and I continued to get dumped on by the neverending rain. Bored, I went to the beach. Massive waves crashed against the dark brown sand. Lightning arced across the clouded sky as thunder roared.

A seashell, royal purple in color and spiral in shape, poked out of the sand. I scooped it up. Claws snapped, and I jumped back. A crab-like creature, green with red spots, wriggled while its claws tried to reach me. I held it by the tip of the shell, turning the creature one way, then the next. The crab tried to escape, legs writhing. I set the crab down, and it scurried toward the water.

I followed the shore toward the treeline, staring at the turbulent ocean. A head from an alien resembling Gaptu appeared before diving beneath the water. Gaptu had said she was an ancient dweller of these oceans, which meant there had to be others.

“Seth.”

I turned.

Kal sprinted along the shore toward me. My brain froze and my body stilled. Before I could decide what to do, Kal dragged me into his arms. His tail wrapped around my uninjured leg, and he held me tight, shaking.

My arms hung at my sides, trapped, and my gaze went past his shoulder. The commander and a gathering of security officers stood behind Kal, watching us. Though the commander scowled at me, his golden eyes practically shooting sparks.

Suddenly, I was shoved back.

“What were you thinking?” he asked, his voice rough. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “I wanted to thank Gaptu for helping me.”

“So you put yourself in danger?”

“I made a decision for myself. I wanted to say thank you, and nothing happened. Then I came back to the port, once again, by myself. I am not helpless, Kal.”

“I never said you were.”

I stepped closer, gathering my nerve. “If I’m not a prisoner, I should be able to do what I want.”

I hated my habit of people pleasing. It and my past abuse made me want to acquiesce to his demands. In the past, it’d been easier to do that, but I couldn’t live like that again.

It was a hard pattern of thought to break, though.

Kal stared at me, tail thrashing. “Can we go back to the ship, please? You’re still recovering.”

Without a word, I stalked back to the shuttle.