Chapter 20

I was shaking as I directed Seth to a bench at the back of the shuttle where we would have privacy. I squeezed him, trying to banish the fear lodged in my soul. Light was blazing in my gut and heating my scales.

Seth whispered, “Breathe.”

I took in a shuddering breath.

He kissed my bare shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“I know,” I replied in a strangled voice. Thankfully, NAID could translate my words to him once again.

“I’m fine.”

But he could have not been fine.

That had been my greatest fear when the Crystal directed me to a person across the universe on an unsanctioned planet. I’d been terrified something would happen to him before I got there, before I could protect him. That was why I’d rushed my parents to allow me to leave as soon as possible.

Seth clambered onto my lap and settled against my chest. My arms surrounded him, keeping him as close as possible. His familiar weight was comforting. His face pressed against my neck, and his breath evened with sleep. I kissed the top of his head, breathing in a lungful of his heady fragrance before rubbing my forehead against his to scent mark him.

“My Seth,” I whispered.

He muttered something, not fully awake.

He will be fine, I told myself. But he could’ve not been. I tightened my hold on Seth. I was never going to let him out of my sight again.

When we disembarked from the shuttle, I kept an arm around Seth’s waist to support some of his weight. As we entered the lift, I jabbed the button for deck eight.

Seth asked, “Where are we going?”

“To the medbay.”

“Why?”

“You’re injured.”

His face paled, and he said in a strained voice, “I don’t want to go.”

“You’re injured. I’m taking you to the medbay. End of discussion.”

Seth crossed his arms. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“Apparently, that’s not true. You’re out of my sight for a few moments and you return bruised. What actually happened?”

He faced the door, not speaking.

“Seth,” I snapped. “What happened?”

“Some people attacked me. I fought them off. I’m fine.”

I tried to take his hand, but he shifted away from me. Snarling, I said, “Doctor Qinlin is going to examine you.”

“It’s completely unnecessary.”

“I say it’s needed.”

His jaw clenched and his expression hardened.

“Seth,” I said, softening. “Please.”

He didn’t respond.

When the lift opened, he limped out. I tried to curl my tail around his uninjured ankle, but he shook me off, wincing. Silent, I led him toward the medbay.

Doctor Qinlin came out of her office. “Is everything alright?”

“My Seth was injured,” I said before he had a chance to speak. Seth glared at me.

“Sit down,” Doctor Qinlin said.

Seth sat, arms crossed. Doctor Qinlin ran the scanner over him, tutting. “What are these?” she asked, holding his wrist and turning his forearm to expose the deep cuts.

“A woman sliced me open with her claws,” Seth started. The more he spoke about what happened, the more my scales glowed.

“A vmpe,” Qinlin said, rushing to get another instrument. “They have venomous claws.”

“What?” I moved closer, crowding Seth’s space. “He’ll be fine, right?”

She did not answer, scanning, then paused and scanned again. “It doesn’t seem to be affecting you much.”

“They’re itchy,” Seth said.

“Odd. Of course, I don’t know much about your biology.”

“I thought you were researching?” I asked, my voice growing loud.

“There is a significant amount of data in multiple languages. Many doctors don’t agree on anything. In fact, some blatantly contradict each other. There are many different types of medicine. Modern medicine. Naturopathic medicine. I even read an article about healing with energy that I did not truly grasp,” she replied, palms lifting. “I am doing the best I can.”

“I’m fine, Kal,” Seth insisted.

Qinlin’s eyebrow rose at my endearment, and I lifted my lip, silencing her. “Is he well?” I demanded.

She tapped on her screen. “You have bruises all over your body, a cracked rib, four lacerations, and a sprained ankle. I’m hesitant to treat you with our medication and techniques until I know more about your physiology, Seth Harris. It could further harm you. I will fix your ankle and rib, but everything else will heal with time.”

“That is unacceptable,” I said, tail whipping.

“It’s fine,” Seth said.

She raised her eyebrows but disinfected the gashes on his arm before bandaging them, then ran a wand over Seth’s ribs and ankle. The swelling went down around the joint, but the bruise did not disappear.

“Problem?” I asked.

“His skin is bruised, but his ankle should be feeling better,” she said.

Turning to Seth, I asked, “Are you ready?”

“I didn’t want to come in the first place,” he muttered, standing with a groan. “Thank you, Doctor.”

We stayed silent the entire way back to our quarters. When we stepped inside, I wanted to push him toward my room to lick his injuries before curling around him, but I merely said, “You should sleep.”

“No.” Seth sat on the couch, ignoring Lucy, who swirled around his legs.

My tail twitched in agitation. “You’re injured. You should rest.”

“You should go fuck yourself.”

“What?” I asked, not understanding the exact context because I doubted he wanted me to masturbate.

“I’m an adult. I don’t need you hovering over me. I told you I didn’t want to see the doctor and you didn’t listen.”

“You were injured. I have to take care of you,” I said. “You shouldn’t have run off in the first place.”

“I didn’t.”

“Do you have any idea how I felt when I couldn’t find you?”

Seth stalked closer to me. “Do you know how I felt being alone, then attacked? But I survived. I’m not blaming you, so why are you blaming me?”

I crossed my arms. “You’re not leaving the ship again.”

“So I’m a prisoner?”

“I’m protecting you.”

He lifted his middle fingers, then snagged Lucy and disappeared into his room. I had no idea what the gesture meant, but I doubted it was complimentary. I went to his door, but it didn’t open.

“NAID, open the door,” I barked.

She appeared. “Seth does not want you to enter.”

“I don’t care. Open the door,” I ordered, smacking it with the flat of my palm.

NAID gave me a look of reproach, and I paused. My fingers curled into a fist. I would give Seth the space he seemed to want.

For the past two days, since Kal and I had fought, I’d stayed in my room, basically sleeping the entire time. His anger stemmed from fear, but I refused to back down. Had being attacked by aliens been fun? No, yet I’d fought them off, and I was weirdly proud of that.

His extreme response in the elevator had frightened me. I couldn’t help but think back to my last serious relationship. Travis had controlled everything I’d done. He’d never allowed me to have an opinion or to do anything he hadn’t specifically agreed to.

When Kal hadn’t listened or let me talk, it reminded me of that time. I’d been in a controlling relationship that turned physically abusive, and I had no desire to go back.

Kal had left our apartment an hour or so ago. We were still orbiting the watery planet whose name I couldn’t remember. Pet-somthing. Maybe Petty? I had no idea if Kal had gone back to the surface, and honestly, at this moment, I didn’t care.

I was sprawled on the couch, thoughts empty and heart numb. The door chimed, forcing me to sit up. “Come in,” I called. Urgg stepped inside, their hulking green form in dark purple leather pants and vest, which showed off their bulging, tattooed arms.

“Urgg.” I motioned for them to sit on the couch. Lucy spat at Urgg before racing to my bedroom.

Their lower jaw jutted out more than usual, and their thick brows were drawn together. “I’ve heard about the tension between you and Kalvoxrencol.”

“You did?” I started to lift one of my legs, then stopped when my ribs throbbed.

“It’s ship gossip at the moment.”

“Marvelous.” Apparently, even aliens loved to gossip about relationship drama.

“Can I ask what exactly the problem is?”

I sighed. “He’s mad I disappeared on him, even though it wasn’t my fault. Kal’s being an overprotective dick. I’m an adult. A man. I don’t need him crowding me.”

“As a barbarus, we are valued for our ability to care for ourselves. When Talvax courted me, she immediately became overprotective. I once cut my finger, and she fluttered around like I was going to drop dead. I truly thought her insane. Their culture is very different from my own. Drakcol protect their mates fiercely. They perceive their mates as theirs, and we see them as possessive, but they’re not by their own standards.

“Prince Kalvoxrencol sees you as his, and he will do everything within his power to keep you safe. But,” they said with a wry grin that exposed their stubby teeth, “you can be as overbearing as he is. He’d probably even like it.”

Drakcol saw the world, or universe, I guessed, differently. But accepting the differences wasn’t easy. I needed to be my own person. Besides, I had no desire to control Kal.

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“If you want to be with him, you will have to reconcile yourself to this part of his culture. He may grow less protective with time. Talvax did once I told her of my need, but I cannot promise he will,” Urgg said. “You have to decide what you can and cannot live with.”

“And if I can’t live with it?”

“You don’t reaffirm your bond, Prince Kalvoxrencol takes you home, your memory is erased, and you live your life and he lives his,” they said in a matter-of-fact tone.

My pulse thrummed in my ears. “What? My memory will be erased?”

Their mouth hung open, black tongue licking their thick lips. “You didn’t know that?”

“What do you mean? Why would you take my memories?” Even if I didn’t stay with Kal, I wanted to remember what happened. What would happen when I went back to Earth after a year and I couldn’t remember anything? What about Lucy?

“You’re from an unsanctioned planet. The Coalition of Planets doesn’t allow samples to retain their memories.”

“Sample? I’m not a sample,” I yelled, standing.

“If you choose to return home, the Coalition will view you as a sample. Kalvoxrencol will legally have to erase your memory,” Urgg said, their voice careful.

Ice coursed through my veins. I didn’t even have a choice. Either I stayed with him or I was left with nothing. My breath shortened. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, and I couldn’t get away.

“Seth?”

“My choices keep getting taken from me.”

“The choice is still yours. I shouldn’t have told you. My mouth always moves faster than my brain.”

“I’m glad you told me. I needed to know.” Urgg shifted toward me, and I said before they had a chance to talk, “I think you should leave. I need to think.”

“If you need me, you know where I’m at.”

My life was not my own. Anger, panic, fear, and other emotions I couldn’t identify swirled in my stomach. My brain shut off, and I had one thought: I did not need Kal’s protection.

“NAID, I want to go to the planet’s surface.”

“Why?” she asked when she appeared.

NAID would hate the truth, so I lied. “I want to thank the alien who assisted me.”

Her lips pinched, wrinkles more pronounced than ever. “Do you think that’s wise? Prince Kalvoxrencol has ordered you to remain on board.”

“Am I a prisoner?” I demanded.

“No.”

“So I can leave when I want, and I want to leave. Are you going to help me or not?”

Her lips puckered. “Edith Smith says rash action leads to poor decisions.”

“NAID!” I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Edith Smith or what she thought. I needed to make a single damn choice that was my own.

Her expression shuttered as her appearance fluttered, going back to the drakcol silhouette.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.” I scrubbed my hair. “Everything is screwed up inside me. I need out. I need it, NAID.”

“I will help you, in a way,” she said, but her tone was wary and she kept the drakcol form. “A shuttle is leaving in fifteen minutes from bay three on the docking ring. I can’t help you more than that, but I won’t tell Prince Kalvoxrencol unless he directly asks.”

I snagged my new touchstone and raced out the door. When I reached the elevator, I pressed the button for deck nine where the entrance to the docking ring was. Normally access was restricted to this section, but civilians were going to the surface fairly regularly, which made the usual obstacles vanish.

A group of citizens moved toward the shuttle, and I squeezed into the crowd. People pressed all around me. The different voices and smells assaulted me. God, I wanted to run away to the privacy of my room, but I forced myself to stay. I pressed against the bulkhead, sweat coating me. The floor started to vibrate as the shuttle lifted into the air and left the ship.

Everything would work out. Everything would be fine.