Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

Cooper

The next week is rough, my body losing a bit of ground in the healing process after doing something as rigorous as what I did during the drill. The only good thing is that Natalia seems to feel terrible about it, and she’s doting on me like a mother hen. Normally, that would annoy me, but it’s different with her. She’s soft and sweet and kind, but also bossy and sexy. I like her bossy side. It turns me on. Not that I’ve been able to do anything about it, but that’s going to change soon.

I have a plan and already set a few things in motion.

When she comes in after her shift, she looks tired, and I order dinner while she changes.

Tonight, we’re going to do things differently.

“Come sit with me,” I say, patting the spot beside me on the bed.

“I need to check—” she begins.

“All you need to do is sit with me. Come on. Please?”

She looks confused but finally comes and settles next to me. I want to pull her into my arms more than anything, but my ribs wouldn’t appreciate it, so I settle for holding her hand.

“I was thinking it’s past time for us to go out on a date,” I say. “We talked about going into the city, but then I had that setback, and we spent your day off watching movies. Which is great, but I really want to get away from the palace for a few hours. Joe said we can take one of the cars, and I made us a reservation for a rooftop restaurant Sandor recommended.”

She smiles. “Sounds like you’ve been busy.”

“Well, mostly I’ve been the opposite of busy, but I do manage to get out a bit every day.”

“Dinner at Fortunata sounds wonderful.”

“You’ve been there before?”

“No, but it’s the only rooftop restaurant in Hiskale. There are a few rooftop bars, but this is the only one with a restaurant that serves upscale food. I’ve always wanted to go, but you know how much free time I have. Plus, who would I go with?”

“You and Logan never did anything like that?”

“We talked about it—not Fortunata, specifically, just going out to a fancy dinner in general—but it never happened. We had no time either.”

“Is this something you want, Natalia?” I ask quietly. “Romantic dinners, strolls along the beach or whatever? I’m trying to figure out what you need from me, but you’re hard to read sometimes.”

She pauses, chewing the inside of her cheek. “You want the truth?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t know what I need from a man. I’ve had sex, dated a little, but I’ve never had this kind of relationship. An adult relationship. Most of my experience is in groups, and back when none of us had any money. Logan and I were friends who only became lovers about a month before he died, so there was no time for romance. Honestly, this is pretty new to me.”

“Okay. Then will you be okay with letting me guide you? Just in the beginning, I mean.”

“As a matter of fact, I’d prefer it. The idea of me having to make those kinds of decisions gives me hives.”

I chuckle. “Well, we don’t want that.”

“No.” Her eyes meet mine, and I see so many questions lurking beneath.

I wish she felt comfortable enough to open up to me.

Hopefully, we’ll get there.

Before I have to leave.

It feels like time is running out, and I don’t know how to impress that upon her.

“I heard from my CO today,” I say quietly.

Her gaze narrows. “Do you have to go?”

“No, but he reminded me I have to make a decision about re-upping.”

“Don’t you want to?” She sounds confused.

“I do and I don’t. What happened in Iraq…” This is hard to talk about but maybe if I tell her what I’m feeling, she’ll feel like she can too. “It made me realize that I’m not sure what I’m fighting for anymore. I love my country, but I’ve given them a good run. Maybe it’s time to be selfish and look to the private sector. Less danger, more money.”

There.

I said it.

It’s hard for a man like me to admit that he wants something simpler, easier, less dangerous. But of everyone I know, I think Natalia will understand.

Except she’s quiet.

For what feels like a long time.

Does she want me to leave? Is this thing with us over before it’s started?

I find it hard to believe, but it wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong about a woman.

“Nat?” I say her name softly, curious about what her hesitation is.

“Yes. Sorry. I’m just… you’ve caught me off-guard.”

“Yeah? How come?” It’s surprising to hear her say that.

“I guess I assumed you would stay in the military forever. Even though you talked about options, I didn’t believe you were truly considering anything else. It feels like being a marine is who you are.”

“I thought it was,” I admit, “and it’ll always be a part of me, but definitely not all. I think Iraq changed some of what I want for my future.”

“That’s normal, but do you think you just feel that way now? Once you’ve had time to recover and you get back to work, will you feel differently?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I feel like this might be the time to make a change. If I don’t, then I may never, and I want to make some real money before I retire.”

Her eyes find mine, and there’s that question there again.

Talk to me, Natalia.

“What, baby?” I encourage softly. “I can see you want to ask me something. Why are you hesitant?”

Her eyes bore into mine.

“Would you ever consider…staying here?”

There it is.

The elephant in the room.

The question isn’t really whether or not I’d consider staying, it’s whether or not she wants me to.

“That’s a hard question to answer.”

“It’s too soon for this conversation, isn’t it?” she asks.

“Maybe? We were friends for almost six months and then it turned into something more. It’s still new, but how much time do we need to be sure we want to be together? We have to figure it out because I can’t wait until June thirtieth to say I’m not going back.”

“Is that our deadline?”

“Essentially. If I’m going home, there’s no rush. I can figure out the NSA or private sector jobs at my convenience. Joe can hook me up with his old security firm, and I’d have a job doing bodyguard and security work tomorrow. Staying here takes a lot more thought and organization.”

This time I’m the one who’s surprised because she cocks her head and there’s a playful smile on her face. “You realize that you’re asking me to make a major decision about a relationship with a man who’s only made love to me once.”

I arch my brows. “Is that a complaint, Ms. Farkas?”

She gives me a tiny little half-shrug. “Just pointing out a fact.”

“Sitting on my face doesn’t count?”

“It counts …but it’s like sex lite, not sex-sex.”

“I see.” I slowly pull my T-shirt over my head. Still hurts a little, but not as bad as before. It’ll be another six-to-eight weeks before the ribs are fully healed, but I wasn’t planning to wait that long. Even if she hadn’t said something.

“You’re going to have to take the lead,” I continue, sliding my shorts off.

“Cooper, it was a joke,” she says, though her eyes are glittering. “I mean, I want to very much, but not if it’s going to hurt you. I was being silly to?—”

“—to add a little levity to a serious topic. I know exactly what you were doing. But you’re right. Making love—actual intercourse—is a different emotional connection and obviously you need that. As do I. You’ll just have to be on top because I think it’ll be another setback for the ribs if I take charge.”

“No setbacks,” she says firmly.

“Get undressed, baby.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“All I have to do is lie here.” I make a hurry-up motion with my hands. “Besides, it’s past time for this.”

“Should we finish our conversation?” she murmurs, sliding off her pajama shorts.

“We will,” I promise, watching as she undresses.

She’s beautiful.

Perfect in my eyes.

The first time I met her I’d been almost starstruck by her big, soulful eyes and breathtaking smile. The more I got to know her, the more intrigued I became, but as her commanding officer I knew better than to make a move.

I’d never been happier than when she took the reins.

And tonight she’s as breathtaking as that first time I saw her. I don’t know what’s different, because I’ve seen her naked almost every day since I’ve been here, even if we haven’t been intimate like this since Iraq. Yet I’m mesmerized tonight.

The light glistening off her chestnut hair.

The way her lithe body moves as she crawls across the bed to me.

Her impish grin as our eyes meet.

“You’ll have to give me a moment,” she says in a husky whisper. “But there’s something I’ve been meaning to do first.” She runs a hand up one of my thighs and then dips her head.

Oh, fuck.

“Baby, I thought?—”

“Yes, I want that too. But this… I’ve been dreaming about sucking your cock since we met. I used to pleasure myself in Iraq imagining myself on my knees in front of you, and you fucking my mouth.”

All I can do is groan.

I’ve had that same fantasy many times.

She nuzzles my crotch and tickles her fingers along the top of my groin. I wish I’d had time for some manscaping lately, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She kisses a trail up along the underside of my cock, keeping her touch light.

It’s fucking heavenly.

She grips the base of my shaft with one hand and uses the other to cup my balls. The she sucks me deep.

“Fuck, Natalia!” I hiss out a breath because I wasn’t expecting so much so quickly.

She hums around my cock, alternately sucking and licking, her mouth warm and wet around me.

“Jesus, baby, that’s good…” My hips arch, pushing into her mouth, and she takes me without hesitation. Her head bobs over me and I’m mesmerized once again, loving how it looks to see her bent over me, her hair a gorgeous halo around both of us.

I’m a lucky man.

She sucks deeper, and I feel that familiar tingling at the base of my spine.

But I don’t want to get off this way.

It’s been two months since I last made love to her, and I want this time to be memorable for myriad reasons.

Tonight, I want her to say yes.

Yes to us being a couple.

Yes to us taking a chance on love.