Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Natalia

I love the power I feel as I go down on him.

A lot of women I know find it demeaning, but now that I’ve done it a few times, I think it’s powerful.

Including tonight, I’ve only done this with two men: Logan and Cooper.

I enjoy having the ability to make him groan and squirm, essentially driving him wild. Logan taught me to love it, but I’ve been craving it since I met Cooper. And reality is better than anything in my fantasies.

“Baby…stop. Please.” He tugs on my hair. “I don’t want to come in your mouth.”

I gaze up at him. “Why not?”

“Because I want to come inside you and feel your pussy squeeze around me as I fill it up.”

Oh, hell.

Why does that sound so hot?

My pussy flutters with excitement.

“Come up here,” he says softly. “Are we good without condoms?”

“Yes. I’m still protected.”

“Straddle me and then lean down so I can kiss your pretty lips.”

How he goes from spicy hot to sensually romantic is a huge turn-on for me.

I’m careful to keep my weight off his chest as I crawl over him, using my elbows for support.

His lips are warm and firm and delicious.

No one has ever kissed me the way he does.

Like nothing is as important as kissing me.

Like he owns me.

That should scare me, but when he’s touching me like this, I’m not scared at all.

In fact, I’m the opposite of scared.

I’m happy. Safe. Loved .

We may not be at the point where we use that word, but I feel it. That’s the only way to explain the intensity of this thing between us.

I moan into his mouth, my tongue curling with his.

He fists my hair with one hand and grips my ass with the other. He moves me astride him and positions himself at my entrance. Then he thrusts up with one smooth motion that fills me completely. It’s beautifully perfect and as I sink down, I can’t think of a time where lovemaking ever felt so powerful.

Not with the boys I knew back home, not with Logan, not with anyone.

There’s something about this that’s unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced, and I’m not na?ve enough to think it’s just because he’s an experienced, considerate lover. We have a bond. It started in Iraq when we couldn’t be anything more than friends, and now that things have morphed into something more, it’s even better.

I rock back a little, tilting my hips so that I feel every inch of him gliding through my slickness. I’m not usually a fan of being on top, but it’s different with Ryan. The whole power thing comes into play again, and the perception of control turns me on. It’s not about controlling him so much as being in control of myself; my body, my emotions, everything I experience when we’re together.

“You’re so beautiful when you ride me,” he says, his gorgeous blue eyes finding mine. “I fucking love your body, Natalia.”

His words wash over me like a layer of warmth filled with a burst of pleasure.

“Push your hair back so I can see your tits,” he says, hands at my hips.

I lift my hair with both hands and hold it up, giving him an unimpeded view of my breasts.

“Fuck, that’s pretty.” His eyes darken. “Now let your hair fall back and squeeze your nipples for me.”

I slowly let my hair cascade down behind me and then bring my hands around to cup my breasts. The look in his eyes is one of complete adoration, something I’ve never felt from any other man.

It’s intoxicating.

Like a drug I’ll never get enough of.

I didn’t know men like this existed.

Strong, sexy, passionate men who treat women like goddesses.

I love it.

So much that I don’t want it to end.

I pinch my nipples together, anxious for more, wishing it was his fingers instead of my own. I squeeze and knead them, getting more and more aroused by the look in his eyes as he watches.

Why have I never noticed the way a man looks at me when we’re being intimate? Had I never noticed or is it simply that it’s so incredibly special when Ryan does it. He’s intoxicatingly sensual, even when he’s not the one touching me.

“Harder.” That sexy edge to his voice makes my vagina flood with appreciation.

But the pressure inside of me—the way he moves against the walls of my pussy—is building to an excruciating level that I can’t fight off much longer. I make a noise that doesn’t sound like me, filled with need and desire and the pain of knowing it’s going to end long before I’m ready.

“ Ryan …” I gasp against his mouth as my body betrays me in the best possible way.

Nerve endings begin to snap with tiny electric shocks as my orgasm crescendos into an explosion of pleasure. I dip my head and drop my mouth to his, wanting to share every part of him as he follows me into ecstasy.

“God damn, your pussy is heaven,” he growls, pumping harder and faster as we ride a wave neither of us could stop even if we wanted to.

My body shakes with aftershocks as we finally start to come down from the high, and I’m a boneless mass, barely able to hold myself up so I don’t collapse on his still sensitive ribcage.

“Fuck, baby, that’s beautiful.” He’s breathless too, and when he fixes his gorgeous blue eyes on me, I’m captivated all over again.

I hate having to move, but it’s better for his ribs if I do, so I slowly slide off him and then curl into his side.

“We should do that every day,” he murmurs.

“I like that plan,” I say, smiling.

“Do you want me to give this dating thing a try, Natalia?” he asks quietly, stroking one hand up and down my arm.

“I do.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“My future is a little uncertain right now, but one thing I know for sure is that I want to make you a part of it.”

I don’t like uncertainty, but we have time to figure it out. He’s nowhere near ready to go back to work, and my goal is to make him want to stay. I don’t know if that’s possible, but all we can do is try. That way, if things don’t work out, I won’t have the regret of not giving it a shot.

I lift my head and look at him. “We’ll figure things out one day at a time. Is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay. Especially with someone as important to me as you are.”

Warmth floods me, and I nestle against him again.

“You’re important to me too.”

“We’ve come a long way since Iraq, huh? The boys are going to give us some shit about it.”

“That’s all right. We can handle Seghin and Passero.”

“What about me? You think you can handle me?”

I sigh happily. “I’m pretty sure I just did.”