Jesse

I'd kissed him.

God. I'd kissed him.

I'd tried not to. I knew he was lonely, and I didn't want to take advantage of him. I knew he needed a friend. I hadn't intended to say anything. I hadn't intended to touch him…to kiss him.

His home was amazing. It was as if he'd taken everything he was; his hopes, his dreams, his personality and poured them into his rooms. They were quiet and understated and beautiful. It was complicated to grow berries and citrus in our region, even with the equipment available on a farm. It took time and care and patience. We had never attempted such a thing at home. Yet, Ash had berries and citrus trees in his back yard. The love and attention he gave them was more than obvious. He had so much to offer, so much no one seemed to notice. I don't think he realized just how extraordinary he was.

How was I supposed to just stand there laughing with him at those burnt pieces of charcoal that used to be rolls and not stare at the way his head fell back and the wrinkles that appeared beside his jade green eyes? How was I supposed to ignore the heat that radiated from his body and sunk into my skin and the way his fingers hung loose beside his hip, curling and twitching lightly as if they wanted nothing other than to curl up in mine?

He'd kissed me back.

Ok, he'd cried when I kissed him, which isn't really the response you want when you accidentally can't stop yourself from kissing someone.

But then he stopped crying. He'd stopped and his arms had wrapped around me and pulled me so tightly into his body that it felt as if I closed my eyes and really tried, we might merge into one being.

He'd kissed me back. He'd kissed me and kissed me until nothing existed except the softness of his lips and the way his fingers dug into my hips. He'd surrounded me until nothing existed outside of the way his scent enveloped me, peppermint and sandalwood and salt mixed with the acrid remnants of burnt bread. In a single moment, he became everything.

When we eventually pulled apart to warm dinner,we found ourselves unwilling to stray too far from one another. Neither of us seemed entirely convinced that what had happened between us had been real, or that the other wouldn't change his mind. It was several hours before we made it to dessert. As I pulled the last of my bags from the fridge, he leaned over my shoulder, and I reveled in the fact that he'd chosen to stand so close. If I'd leaned slightly, his body would have pressed against my back.

"I don't usually do dessert, but I think today is most definitely an exception. What did you make?" His voice sounded light. Light and carefree and almost nervous. He sounded as if he were afraid his words might break the enchantment that had fallen over us.

"I know most people do chocolate things for this holiday, and in general, buuuttt," I dragged the word out,"I really, really like apple pie, so that's what I made." Chocolate was one of the few things that you could get in nearly every settlement even though it was expensive. I suppose there was just something about it that people had never really learned to live without. As the Holiday was a special occasion, it was somewhat of a custom to splurge on chocolate desserts.

He grinned like a child. "That's my favorite."

I raised an eyebrow in doubt.

"Seriously, if you'd have asked what I wanted, that would have been it." He sounded so honest, so open.

How hadthis day ended up so perfect?

He smiled and reached into the fridge as I settled the pie on the table.

"I have cream. So, we can have berries as well if you want. Hell, you can eat every berry I have."

I felt myself blushing as nervousness rushed through me. I fought it off and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

His demeanor shifted quickly. Clearly that hadn't landed in the way I'd intended. I'd been trying to lighten the mood and let him know that my kiss hadn't been an accident. I wanted him to know that if I had anything to say about it, it hadn't been a one-time thing. I wanted more.

He shuffled nervously; his eyes cast down. I reached out to brush my fingertips lightly across his arm as I waited, scared to death of whatever he apparently had to say.

"I've never done this before, Jess. Not even this much of…this. I've never spent the night with anyone, never gone on dates, never been a couple, never compromised or fought with someone I cared for; because other than my sister, I've never really cared for anyone."

I nodded slowly, fingertips still resting on his arm, waiting for the axe to fall.

"I want this to be right; to be good. To be everything it should be."

My heart ached. How had he never had this before. "Me too, sweetheart."