14. Nox

14

Nox

I didn't know where this thing with Micah was going, but I couldn't stay away from him.

It wasn't because of the bond, either. No, it was because of him. The angel who was funny, sarcastic, and more than a little lonely. Who'd devoted millennia to leading his unit. Who had almost no life outside of it. Who listened to every story I told him with rapid fascination. Who hoarded each morsel that I dropped about myself like it was sustaining him.

The angel who'd turned up one morning with a still warm pastry in a Stohrer paper bag. He'd flown over to Paris to pick it up simply because I'd mentioned it once.

I ate that pastry slowly, savouring every mouthful as Micah watched me bashfully from the corner of his eye. He didn't want any thanks for it. Just wanted to do something nice for me.

Nobody had done that for me before. Ever.

Without even realising it, I'd made it my mission to show Micah the life that existed outside the confines of his heavenly purpose. The world I'd yearned for while I was trapped downstairs. The experiences and adventures that lay around every corner, if you knew where to look for them.

Something happened to me whenever Micah smiled, and I'm not talking about the condescending smirk he wore so often around me at first. No, his real one. It sprouted slowly, almost shyly, before blooming over his face.

The first time I saw it, it took my breath away. Every one since had had the same effect.

We were spending all this time together, but we both knew it would come to an end. It had to. And strangely, not because we hated each other. I think it had been a while since either of us had felt that way. Our barbs were softened with smiles, our taunts caught up in teasing.

We were flirting not just with each other, but with something bigger than either of us. Something that would have repercussions I knew we wouldn't survive.

They wouldn't allow it. Micah had said it enough for me to know that was true.

Instead we were hiding in this pocket of limbo, waiting for the real world to come crashing in. The one thing we weren't doing was anything sexual. Micah had tried to initiate it a few times, but I couldn't go there.

I didn't want to fuck him like I hated him, because I didn't. I didn't hate him.

I wanted to worship him the way he deserved. Lavish the praise on him that he was crying out for. To kiss every inch of him while I whispered every way I wanted to take him. That I couldn't believe my luck that he hadn't been snatched up centuries ago.

I couldn't be with him in that way, so whenever he hinted at it, I shut it down. I pretended not to see the rejection in his eyes. To not notice how closed off he'd become. I knew he thought it was because no one wanted him, that no one ever picked him.

I would. I wanted to grab his collar and scream it at him. In any other world, you'd be the one I'd choose. Every fucking time.

But we weren't in any other world; we were in this one. One where Micah answered to a higher power. A higher power who would never let us be together.

The whole principle confused me. What was the point of us being fated if we were doomed from the start? Was it not God who decided these things? If it wasn't, then who was it?

I didn't know the answer to any of those questions, and even if I had, it wouldn't have changed anything.

Not for us, anyway.

Micah was on the back of my bike, his arms tight around my waist. Secretly, I loved the way he clung to me on these rides. It wasn't like he needed to—his balance was far superior to a normal human's, as was his reaction time. Even if he did fall, he wouldn't be hurt.

None of that seemed to occur to Micah. He held on as though he might slip at any second.

Or maybe it had occurred to him. Maybe he just enjoyed the excuse to press himself against me.

I know I did.

Tonight, he was quieter than usual. His unit had been at the Climate Conference all day, on hand just in case any demons decided to influence the event. To lead the humans down a destructive path that would accelerate the death of the planet.

I'd laughed when he'd told me. I was willing to lay down good money that the vast majority of demons didn't even know about the event, let alone were interested in attending. Besides, why would we contribute to ruining the climate of the one place we actually liked spending time? It made literally no sense.

Micah seemed inclined to agree with me, but that didn't mean he could say no to the higher-ups. Personally, I thought it was a complete waste of his time. From what he'd told me, the angels were strictly forbidden to interfere in human events and lives…even if it was to save them. They were required to be at conferences such as these to make sure the events played out as intended, without any undue influence from Hell or Heaven.

Honestly, it was bonkers. What was the point in creating Earth and giving it to humans, only to sit back and watch it burn?

Like I said—bonkers.

Micah had messaged me as soon as they got back to the compound, asking to meet. Suspecting what a toll it had taken on him to be in his leader role all day, I'd been sat outside waiting when his text came through.

Now, driving through the streets of London, I could feel the exhaustion coming off Micah like it was a palpable thing. Not physical exhaustion—that wasn't something supes experienced unless pushed past their limits.

No, Micah's exhaustion was mental.

He needed to let loose for a few hours, I decided, turning my bike in the direction of the city centre, home to some of the best wine bars in London. Micah and I wouldn't be able to get drunk on the human alcohol they served, but we could relax there before hitting up a club.

Micah followed me silently as we got off the bike. He never asked me where we were going anymore, just willingly followed me.

His trust and faith in me was the most dangerous thing of all. I'd never experienced that before. I was sure my demonic friends trusted me to a certain degree, but not completely. It wasn't in our natures.

Micah though? He seemed happy to put his well-being in my hands.

It made me want to cherish it all the more. To cherish him.

It gave me the confidence to broach something I'd wanted to bring up for a while. Something that had been concerning me. On the one hand, I was thrilled that Micah was reaching out to me with increasing regularity.

But on the other, it worried me. Micah only messaged when he was stressed. When the pressure he carried was threatening to crush him. When he needed me to distract him so he could go back to his job with a smile on his face.

Given our meet-ups were now almost daily…yeah. I was fucking concerned.

I waited until we were seated, a beer in front of me and a glass of red before Micah. We were in the cocktail bar on the fifty-second floor of The Shard. The view it gave of London was spectacular…unless, like me and Micah, you were used to seeing it from much higher.

"You seem…busy. Like, all the time. Is that normal for you?"

Micah nodded, sipping his wine. "Yes, this is pretty much how it goes. To be honest, these little outings we've been taking have been the first break I've taken in…well, ever."

My chest squeezed. "Is it like that for the rest of the unit?"

"No." Micah swished his wine in his glass before taking another sip. "I make sure they all take two days off every week and encourage them to go abroad for a few weeks every year. It took a lot of…fighting with Heaven to get that for them."

I wasn't sure if it was Micah's word choice or the way he flinched as he said it, but something about that phrase had goosebumps rising on my arms. "What do you mean fighting with Heaven?"

The smile he gave me was forced. "Oh, it's just a turn of phrase. The bureaucracy in Heaven is something to behold. But I was able to negotiate time off for the rest of the unit."

He was lying to me. Not entirely, but there was definitely something he was hiding from me. "For the rest of them, but not for you?"

Micah gave a half shrug. "They're what's important, not me."

"That's not true and you fucking know it."

His topaz blue eyes were steady as they met mine. "It is. Everything I do is for my unit, Nox. And what's more, I'm happy to do it."

My little angel was slipping away before my very eyes. I grabbed his hand, like it might keep him here a little longer. "Why are you lying, Micah? I know that's not how you feel. If that were true, you wouldn't be running off to find an escape with me."

Micah flinched. "That's not what I'm doing."

"Really?"

He didn't answer me. I pushed on. "You need to tell the others how you're feeling, Micah. If not the higher-ups, then at least the other Seraphim. I'm willing to bet that they'd happily take on more if they knew how it was affecting you. In fact, they'd probably be pissed if they knew how much you're hiding from them."

Micah pulled his hand from mine under the guise of lifting his glass. My stomach twisted all the same, knowing he didn't want to touch me right now.

"What they don't know won't hurt them."

Once again, I felt like Micah was hinting at something. Or, rather, letting something slip. My eyes narrowed. "What else don't they know, little angel? What are you hiding from them?"

Micah didn't speak, but the wine in his glass started to tremble. I scooted my chair closer, resting my hand on his knee. "Okay, forget about them for a moment. What are you hiding from me ?"

He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, he stiffened. His head snapped towards big glass windows in front of the bar, his eyes widening as he scanned the surrounding skyscrapers. "Can you hear that?"

I paused, immediately picking up on the high-pitched shriek, too high for human ears. It sounded almost like metal sliding over concrete. "Yeah…what the fuck is that?"

Blood drained from Micah's face as his eyes fixed on something a few buildings over. A new skyscraper was under construction, covered in scaffolding. On the roof of the building beside it, approximately twenty stories in the air, was a crane. A crane that was listing dangerously to the side. "Fuck. The crane, it's going over."

My brain raced as I plotted the angle. The route it would take. What it would hit on the way down. The disaster that was unfolding before our eyes.

We moved simultaneously. Micah's compulsion net washed over me, which was a good thing. We didn't have time to take the lift or the stairs.

We were going through the window.

Our wings came out as we launched through the glass. But as the wind caught us and lifted us higher, I knew we weren't going to make it in time. Even with our supe speed, there was nothing we could do.

Micah's power shot out to try and catch it, but we were too far away, the momentum already too great. Even if he used lightening to teleport, he wouldn't reach it in time.

Screams started on the street below. The sound of pounding feet as humans tried to race from its path.

There was an almighty crash as it collided with the building opposite, the jib dragging through multiple floors.

Bodies fell in its wake.

It wasn't finished. The weight of it pulled through the entire building before crashing to the ground.

It didn't stop.

It went straight through it.

The cacophony that followed was unlike anything I'd ever heard topside.

Horror filled me, my voice hoarse as I asked Micah to confirm my worst fears. "Are we above a tube line? Is there a station nearby?"

Micah didn't answer, the terror on his face telling me all I needed to know. Normally, the tube was deep underground…

Unless you were by a station.

Please don't let there have been a tube on the line. Please.

The fire I could see licking up from below showed that wasn't the case. We paused in mid-air, both too overcome by what was unfolding to move.

I stared at the flames filling the cavern left in the road. For a moment, I was transported back downstairs.

You're not there. These people don't deserve this. You can help them. Save them.

"Okay," I said, forcing my voice to stay steady. "Let's focus on extinguishing the fire and getting people evacuated from the tube line. Then we can tackle the building. How fast can you get your unit here?"

Micah didn't answer, so I turned in mid-air to face him. He was still so pale, his fists clenched at his sides. "Micah? Come on, they need us."

"I can't."

For a second, I thought I'd misheard him. But when Micah made no effort to summon the rest of the Seraphim, I knew I hadn't. "What the fuck?"

"We can't interfere. It goes against free will."

"Free will?" I hissed, flying up to him. "Was it their free will that caused a crane to fall on them?"

Micah's throat bobbed. "No, but?—"

"But nothing. There are people suffering and dying down there, Micah. I don't give a flying fuck what Heaven says you're supposed to do." Grabbing his collar, I shook him. "Wake up, Micah. Stop doing what you're told, and do the right thing. The thing I know you want to do."

My words seemed to unlock something in him, and the fog of indecision cleared. "Fuck. You're right."

He wrenched out of my arms and plummeted towards the ground. His hand tapped at his watch a few times, hopefully notifying the Seraphim. We were going to need all the help we could get. Grabbing my phone from my pocket as we flew, I sent an SOS to the group chat.

In the distance, sirens sounded. My stomach flipped. There were too few. They were going to be too late.

They already were for so many.

We shot straight through the cavern, landing on top of a crumpled mass of metal. The white, red, and blue paint was all that remained to show it was a tube train.

"Flames, Nox," Micah roared, pulling the roof of the train open with his bare hands. "Douse it. "

I unleashed my power, killing the flames instantly. Once the smoke cleared, I could see the true scale of the tragedy.

As Micah and I went to work, pulling people from the wreckage, my brain went into protection mode. Everything was a blur as I focused on nothing but going from helping this person to the next.

Small moments stood out amongst the haze. Angels landing on all sides, their faces grim as they went to work. A dust-covered woman cupping another woman's face, pleading with her to wake. An elderly man pressing a kiss to my knuckles as I deposited him outside an ambulance. Dahlia carrying a dazed child from the cavern, reuniting him with his weeping mother.

When we'd done all we could to help the people on the train line, we took to the skies as one. The crane had cut a clear path through the building it had hit, whole floors now open to the elements. We checked each floor, rescuing anyone who was trapped. We focused on those who were alive, leaving the bodies to the humans to recover.

The air was thick with compulsion nets, all of us using them to make sure our aid went undetected, that those we saved forgot quickly.

One of the Seraphim, Rami, was apparently gifted with healing powers. He'd set up a triage station on the ground, working to save those who were on the brink of death. Sweat was pouring off him, his powers flickering, but he didn't stop. He didn't complain. He just kept going.

The same way we all did.

I was just dropping a young woman off with him when I felt a familiar presence at my back. "Nox?"

Spinning around, I grabbed Darius in a crushing hug. "You came. "

"Course I did," he said gruffly. "I'll always come if any of you call, no matter how far away I am."

My throat thickened at his words. Like the rest of us, his loyalty wasn't easy to win. Once you did though, you could count on Darius for anything. "I've seen Dahlia, is anyone else here?"

Darius nodded, his black hair falling around his face like ink in a pool. "Jeremiah's here somewhere. Quill too."

My brows shot up. "Quill's here?"

Darius pointed at where the counterweight was. "Yep. He's dismantling the crane so more rescue vehicles can get through."

Sure enough, I found him amongst the chaos. He was pulling the metal struts apart, moving them to the side to clear a path. There was a vaguely familiar angel with lilac hair at his side—one of the twins, I believed.

"How?" I said in shock. "We haven't been able to get him to leave the house since we arrived."

"Guess this was urgent enough to get him over it." Darius shrugged.

I took in the tight lines around Quill's eyes, the slight shake in his hands. This emergency might've got him outside of the house, but I'd wager he was far from over it.

"There's enough sin here to recharge him though. Fucker looked half dead when he arrived."

That was true, although with the power he was exerting, it wouldn't last long. That was the thing about disasters such as this one—they brought out the very best and worst in humanity. For every person helping another to get help, there were two more willing to sacrifice others to save themselves. There were even fuckers looting the shops nearby, stepping over bodies to grab whatever they could .

"So…angels, huh? Is it a coincidence that they're here at the same time as us?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw Rami turn his head in our direction, as though he too was invested in the answer.

I didn't want to hide Micah from my friends, nor did I want to deny him. The thing was, I didn't know if he felt the same way. From what he'd said, only Benji seemed aware that something was going on between us.

Even if neither of us were sure what that something was.

"Gossip later, help now." I clapped Darius on the shoulder and squeezed. "I'm glad to see you, friend."

He returned my smile. "Me too. It's been too long."

"It has. Did you find what you were searching for?"

His smile tightened, his eyes cutting away. "Like you said, gossip later."

I watched him launch himself into the fray with a frown. Looked like me and Quill weren't the only demons struggling.

The question wasn't even if we could be honest with each other about what we were going through.

It was if we'd do anything about it.