12. Nox

12

Nox

H ave you ever had a moment where the world seems to pause on its axis? Where everything you thought you knew was flipped on its head?

That's what I experienced as Micah sobbed. On his knees. Head in his hands. No one to comfort him.

I'd come here to tell him I was leaving. That the bond between us was a burden I'd never wished for and didn't want. I'd rehearsed the venom I'd spill the whole way here, knowing it was for the best. That I'd never be someone he could truly love. That he'd always be someone I was supposed to hate.

But while I was walking up the path, he'd burst from the house, running as though he were being chased.

Horror had filled me as I froze for a second, eyes fixed on the open doorway.

But there was no one following him. Nothing except his own demons.

That was, until I took after him, a demon of a different kind stalking him through the darkness. I chased him through the woodland, expecting him to hear me. To turn and send me away.

He didn't. Micah was so caught up in whatever had sent him running that he had no idea that I was there.

When he collapsed against the tree, I paused, unsure what to do. Should I leave now that I knew he wasn't in danger?

As he opened his mouth and started to scream, I knew there'd be no leaving. Not now.

I'd thought Micah cold. Ruthless. Uncaring. That he was an uptight piece of shit who didn't give a fuck about anyone, who'd never known suffering or hardship.

Seeing him break down, I wished that were true. Anything would have been better than this.

Falling to my knees and pulling him into my embrace felt like the most natural thing in the world. I'd never comforted anyone before. Not really. I'd sat with my friends while they'd cried. Commiserated with them over how shitty our lives were.

But I'd never held them. I'd never felt their sobs ricochet through my soul as though they were my own. I'd never whispered words of comfort.

I'd never been that person for someone. I'd never wanted to be that person. I didn't know how to be.

It turned out that being that person for Micah was as easy as breathing.

At first, he let me. He turned his face into my neck, moisture pooling over my skin. His hands fisted in my shirt, not to push me away, but to pull me closer. His chest heaved against my own, his shoulders shaking like he was breaking apart.

Far too soon, Micah seemed to remember himself. He stiffened, clearing his throat and pulling away roughly before getting to his feet. He couldn't look me in the eye.

"Sorry."

I stood slowly. My fingers itched to grab him. To tuck him in tight to my body until he was truly relaxed, not this farcical impression he was doing right now. I shoved my hands into my pockets to stop myself. "Why do angels and humans apologise for things they've got no control over? I've never understood it."

"Is there anything you do understand? Not that that's your fault. The education you receive in Hell can't be anything worth writing home about."

Micah's words might've been sharp, but the tone he delivered them in was anything but. I understood immediately what he was trying to do. I'd caught him in a moment of weakness. Given we were hidden in the middle of the woods, I suspected it wasn't something Micah had wanted anyone to witness.

He was trying to put us on an even footing. To remind himself of what we were supposed to be to each other, rather than what fate intended us to be.

Born to be enemies, fated to be mates.

It wasn't an equation that equalled a happy ever after.

Somehow though, I couldn't let us go back to that place. After witnessing what I just had, I didn't want to. I was starting to realise there was more to Micah than I'd thought. That maybe I held as many misconceptions about him as he did about me.

"You're right, the education we received wasn't focused on understanding. More torture and manipulation."

Micah eyed me warily, taking a step back. "Is that what you were doing to me just now? Manipulating me?"

"Of course I fucking wasn't." I jerked my head towards the spot where we'd knelt. "That's called comfort , Micah. I can't say I've got much experience with it as a demon, but even I know what it is."

He was quiet for a long time. Long enough to confirm that Micah didn't know what comfort was. Not as the person receiving it, at least.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked. "Did you feel obligated because we're mates?"

Now I was the one taking a step back. "Do you really think so little of me? That I could see someone suffering and ignore it?"

The walls were back up as he shrugged carelessly. "You're a demon. It's what happens in Hell."

"To those who deserve it. There's a difference, Micah. Some people deserve to suffer, and others don't. I might not know you well, but I know which category you fall into."

He ran a hand through his hair before he responded. "You don't know anything about me, Nox. What's more, you don't want to."

"What if I do want to?"

Micah stilled. "What?"

I closed the distance between us, taking his hand in mine. Instantly, I felt calmer. "I want to get to know you, Micah."

"You do?"

I nodded, squeezing his fingers for emphasis. "Yes. I'm tired of ignoring this bond between us. Aren't you? It's exhausting trying to pretend it's not there. I think it's time we stop fighting it. Fate obviously intended us to be together for a reason, so maybe we need to figure out what that is."

Steel flashed over Micah's face as he ripped his hand from mine. "So what you're saying is you want to get to know me because you're my fated mate."

I blinked, confused as to why he was angry. Was the thought of getting to know me that abhorrent to him? "Yes."

Anger rippled over Micah's face. "I'll pass, thanks."

He turned to walk away.

"Wait." I ducked around him, planting myself in his path. "You don't want to get to know me because we're mates?"

He sighed, looking up at the sky. It hit me then that I didn't know what had driven him out here. What'd had him breaking down enough to allow me close, if only for a moment.

"I'm saying that I'm sick of fate controlling my life. Every step I've taken has been predetermined. Being born to the most powerful arch pair. Destined to be leader of the Seraphim before I could even walk. Was my parents dying part of it too? Did fate plan for them to be taken from me all along? For me to carry the family mantle alone? To pretend I'm always in control, even when I haven't got a fucking clue what I'm doing?"

I reached for him, my chest tight. "Micah?—"

"I've done it all without complaint." He continued as though I hadn't spoken. As though he hadn't heard me. "For fucking centuries I've done everything that's been asked of me. I've put the happiness and well-being of everyone else above my own, and I've not once had an issue doing it.

"But this? My heart?" He shook his head bitterly. "Fate can't choose who I fall in love with. I won't allow it."

I let my hand fall, jealousy as thick as tar wending through my veins. Dimitri. He wanted Dimitri…but fate had had other plans.

"It can't choose for you either," he said, finally meeting my eyes. "You don't have to love me just because we're fated. You don't have to like me, care for me, or worry about me. You can go about your life and fall in love with the person you want ."

I think I might've listened if not for what he did next.

Touching my arm, he kissed my cheek. "It's okay, Nox. I'm never the person who's chosen, and I'm fine with that. Fate can't tell you what to do any more than it can me."

Then he walked away, leaving me alone in the woods, my skin burning where he'd touched it with his lips.

" I'm never the person who's chosen. "

Suddenly I was seeing everything through a different filter. Hearing my words through Micah's ears. " I don't even want you. "

He'd been rejected by the man he loved, only to find himself fated to me, a demon. I'd told him repeatedly that I didn't want him and then, when I'd finally admitted to a desire to explore things, I'd made it sound like it was all because of the bond. Not because of him.

I was a fucking moron.

Irritation riding me, I kicked the tree Micah had been punching earlier. It gave up, falling to the ground with an almighty crash.

I glared at it. Stupid thing. Couldn't it have let me work out some more frustration before giving up?

Well I wasn't giving up as easily as the tree. I had no idea what I was going to do, but one thing was fucking certain.

I wasn't going anywhere.

O ne thing I knew about Micah was how difficult it was to get his attention.

Last night, before everything had happened, I'd planned on knocking on the front door of the house and making a racket until Micah came out and faced me. I didn't know what the other members of the Seraphim knew about us, if anything, but I also hadn't cared. I'd been planning on leaving, and if them learning about me made Micah's life a bit difficult, then I didn't give a fuck. Obviously that hadn't been necessary, given how he'd fled into the woods as I arrived.

Everything had changed now. If I was a secret from the Seraphim then that was the way it was going to stay. I no longer wanted to make Micah's life difficult.

It seemed hard enough as it was.

Going up to the house wasn't an option. I could have asked Quill to track down his number for me, but I suspected Micah wouldn't pick up my calls.

Instead, I'd come up with an unorthodox plan.

Parked up on a road next to the compound, I whistled in time to "Hot to Go" while I waited. The crackle of flames around me added to the soundtrack, a delicious touch of irony that I hadn't been able to resist.

Knowing my bike wouldn't work for this, I'd borrowed Jeremiah's car. He'd taken the news that we weren't leaving yet well. A little too well, in fact. His smug, knowing look had had me wanting to smack him in the face. I would've done it if I hadn't needed a favour .

I hadn't told Jeremiah I was planning on setting his car alight while I sat in it, but it was fine. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Thanks to my powers, the flames weren't actually touching anything, just dancing over the car.

It was cosy. Reminded me of being downstairs…just minus all the rage and screams.

There was a loud bang on the roof, shoe sized dents appearing to the left of my head. I smirked. Okay, so maybe there was going to be some rage and screaming.

White light lit up the car as Micah attempted to battle back my flames. Turning up the music, I fought against him as I sang, refusing to back down. Not yet, little angel.

If I let him win, he'd leave before I could speak to him.

The car creaked above me as Micah's weight left it. He dropped down next to my window, his face thunderous. "Nox, what the fuck are you playing at?"

"Oh, hello! You took your time. Come on, get in. We've got somewhere to be."

Micah gaped at me. I wasn't sure what had thrown him the most—my choice in music, cheery tone, the fact that the car was still ablaze around me, or that I'd told him we had plans.

I let the flames dim a little, smirking at him through the glass. Thanks to our supe senses, I knew he had no issue hearing me. "What's wrong, Micah? Scared of playing with fire? I promise I won't let you get burned."

His nostrils flared. "I'm not scared of you."

I leaned over, throwing open the door on the other side. "Then prove it. Get in the car."

We glared at each other through the window for a few moments. Micah backed down first, rolling his eyes before stomping around to the passenger side. Internally I did a little fist bump. Step one complete.

I let the flames die away as he ducked through the door.

"See, was that so hard?"

"Did you have to set a car on fire right outside my house?"

My tyres screeched as I pulled off, not wanting to give Micah the chance to change his mind. "Well I thought about knocking, but I didn't know if the rest of your unit is aware of our…situation. Thought you might not appreciate them knowing."

"That's…surprisingly thoughtful. Thank you." He stiffened suddenly. "Wait, you can see our house?"

I snorted. "It's not like I can miss it. The place is fucking huge. Honestly, it makes sense given you angels aren't known for slumming it."

The car sailed onto a roundabout, a cacophony of horns blaring as I weaved around other drivers. Curses and epithets were hollered from open windows, making my smile grow wider. Nothing like starting your morning off with a delicious dose of wrath.

I glanced at Micah from the corner of my eye, surprised he hadn't commented on my antics. He was staring out of the window, seemingly oblivious.

"What's on your mind, little angel?"

He jumped before scowling at me. "Don't call me that."

"I'll stop when you ask me to, not tell me to." I checked the map on my phone to make sure we were on the right road before asking him again. "What are you thinking about?"

Micah sighed, rubbing his temple. "The compound is warded. No one's supposed to see it. The only people who know how to lift the wards are members of the Seraphim. So the fact that you can see the house is…unsettling. It means there's something wrong with the wards. We'll have to strip them all off and reset them."

He pulled out his phone, opening the notes app and adding it to what looked like an already extremely long to-do list. His shoulders slumped further too, as though the thought of one more task was threatening to push him over the edge.

"Or I can see it because we're mates."

Micah's knuckles whitened around his phone. "We aren't mates."

Technically, he was right. "No, but we're fated. I imagine it's something to do with that rather than anything else."

"Maybe." Micah sighed, tapping away at his phone. When he spoke again, it was almost to himself. "Still, it's worth us checking it. I'll ask Rami and Benji to start stripping them now. I can be back there in five minutes. It'll take a day or so…oh fuck. I've got to get the report to Dermot about the clan today. Okay, so maybe—wait, what the fuck?"

I put the phone I'd just pulled out of his hands in the seat pocket next to me. "Nope. None of that is happening today."

"Nox, you tosser, give me back my phone."

"No." This whole scene had confirmed my thoughts about what was behind Micah's breakdown the night before. He didn't know how to switch off, taking on everything without letting anyone else shoulder the load.

He cursed, reaching over me. I laughed, leaning forward and blocking him. "Want me to crash, little angel? Because while we'd survive, the same can't be said for any humans in other cars. "

He sat back with a snarl. "Are you really going to do this? I am stronger than you, you know. I can overpower you in a second."

I looked at him pointedly. "Yeah, you can. So what's stopping you?"

He huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "Are you really not going to give me back my phone?"

"I will if you can promise you won't use it to work for the next three hours."

"Three hours?" Micah's voice rose in disbelief. "You expect me to be out of contact for three hours ?"

"Yep." I smirked at him. "You better get used to it. If I ever get you into a bed, I'll be keeping you there far longer than that. Trust me, you won't be thinking about anyone else then."

"That's not going to happen."

"Mm-hmm."

Micah pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're a frustrating wanker, you really are."

"What's with you and the masturbation insults? Tosser, wanker. Do you just always have sex on the brain? Am I not fucking you often enough? We can ditch our plans and seek out a bed instead if you like."

"No, that's not happening." Micah shifted in his seat, and I could've sworn I saw his lips lift at the corners. "And technically we've only done it twice. Maybe it just wasn't very memorable and that's why my brain keeps going there."

I cursed, reaching over to slide my hand up his thigh. He was hard, his erection bulging under the material. I caressed it once before forcing my hand back to the wheel. "Okay, forget the bed. Just say the word, little angel, and I'll pull over. I'll suck you dry until you can't remember anything but what I've just done to you."

"And you say I'm the one who always has sex on the brain. Your mind lives in the gutter."

"It's fun there." I winked at him. "Come join me."

"Is that what passes for temptation these days? If so, I've got to say that I'm not impressed."

Pulling up outside a nondescript building, I turned the engine off. Twisting in my seat, I grabbed Micah by the back of his neck and hauled him forwards.

His breath caught, his eyes widening. "What are you doing?"

"If I wanted to tempt you, little angel, then I'd have no issue doing that," I murmured, keeping my lips just above his. "I'd have you on your knees begging for my cock before you even realised what was happening. But keep lying to yourself if it makes you feel better."

His tongue flicked out over his bottom lip, and then I was the one giving in to temptation. Catching his lip between my teeth, I bit down until he whimpered before releasing him.

"Come on." I pulled away with a grin. "You're going to like this."

Micah gave me a dubious look, adjusting himself in his jeans. "More than getting off? Because after that little show I highly doubt it."

Fuck, it was tempting to stay in the car and follow through on all the wicked things I wanted to do to this angel, but Micah needed this more.

"Let's go inside and see."

We got out of the car. My hands twitched, automatically reaching for Micah's, but I wasn't sure how well that would be received. It was funny, I had no worries about biting his lip or even fucking him, but holding his hand? Stroking his hair? All those intimate gestures were foreign to me.

After last night, I knew Micah wouldn't want them from me. He'd put it down to the bond rather than me actually wanting to do it. And maybe he was right. Maybe the only reason I wanted him this intensely was because he was my fated mate.

Either way, I was going to find out.

"What is this place?" Micah eyed the building suspiciously.

I opened the door, turning my wicked grin on him. "It's a rage room."