Chapter 18

"There isn't anyone else for you either, right?" I asked when the silence stretched on just a bit too long. We'd ended up sitting inside the large, colorful nest he had in the corner. Although it was on the floor, he had so many blankets piled up that it was surprisingly comfortable.

Conall looked lost in thought. I considered giving him time to process—I had just thrown a lot at the man—but I was impatient to get an answer.

It wasn't fair since I had my fair share of history and he should get the chance as well, butthe thought of Conall being with anyone else besides me had me seeing red.

He was mine. And now that I had him, I wasn't going to let him go without a fight.

It didn't make sense, but I could feel it in my bones that we belonged together. From the time we met until now, this thing with him had never been casual, and it was evolving into something more meaningful every day.

It should have scared the fuck out of me—I didn't do serious. I was a playboy, a fuckup—but I didn't want to be, and being with Conall made me feel like I didn't have to be.

"I think you've ruined me for anyone else," he whispered.

My heart thudded hard and strong inside my chest, bringing me a moment of clarity at my selfish actions. "Are you sure? If you say that, I'm not going to want to let you go. What if you regret never being with anyone else?"

I should shut up and continue being selfish, instead of putting ideas in his head. But I couldn't do that to him, not when he'd been nothing but supportive of me. And goddess, it might kill me, but I wanted him to do what would make him happy, even if it wasn't with me...

"I won't," he said, sounding so sure of himself. But how could he know? He must have seen the doubt in my face, because he cupped my cheeks with his hands and forced our gazes. "I won't regret my decision, and I don't get tired of things easily. I want to be with you."

That shouldn't have reassured me as much as it had. Conall was still so young—hell, I was barely considered an adult for sperm whale shifters—so how could he be so certain about this?

But then I remembered how excited Conall was to experience the circus show despite having watching it all his life. He might be young, but he wasn't fickle and went after what he wanted. And he wanted me.

"Thank fuck, because I don't know what I would have done if you said you wanted to be with someone else," I said. My body slumped onto his as if all my energy left me. Conall might be a lot smaller than me, but he held me steady in his arms. And fuck, did it feel good being surrounded by his arms.

"I'm guessing it's probably the same thing I would have done."

"And what's that?"

His breath tickled my ear. "I'd fight and prove to you that I'm the best person for you."

It was times like these that made it hard to believe that he was younger than me when he seemed so much more mature and in touch with his emotions. And when I pulled back and saw the determination in his eyes, I was once again shown just how serious he was.

"I was thinking maybe a little kidnapping, but your method is good too," I joked, and he laughed, the sound like little musical bells in my ears.

"So, is there anything else you're hiding from me besides the fact that you're a shifter? Also, what kind of shifter?" he asked when I finally pulled myself out of his arms. It was very hard to stop touching him, but his stomach was growling, and I wanted him to eat after a long day at work.

"Sperm whale shifter," I replied as I walked back with the box of pizza. I didn't bother asking where the plates were, figuring we could just eat straight from the box.

"And I guess for the sake of transparency, I should probably tell you that my mom is the ruler of our little kingdom," I said, after hesitating a bit. If I wanted to do this right, then I should be truthful with him from the start.

Conall's eyes went comically wide and his mouth hung again. With how often he was making that expression tonight, I was starting to worry that his face would permanently stay in that position.

"So you're like a prince? Royalty? Your Highness?" Conall squeaked out. I could basically see his eyes spinning, trying to process the information.

I shrugged. "Yeah, but please don't call me ‘Your Highness'," I said, wrinkling my nose. Even the other sperm whale shifters didn't do that. "Everyone just calls me Tidun."

Conall didn't reply and continued to stare into space. "Conall?" I called out, but he didn't respond.

Maybe I had fucked up after all. Maybe I should have waited to tell him, but it wasn't like I could decide which family I was born into. "I'm still me," I said, now feeling more hopeless about my family background than I'd ever had before.

"Hey, are you okay?" Conall quickly kneeled in front of me and touched my cheek. I looked up to find his eyes full of worry. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. I know you're still you and nothing will ever change that. I was just…worried that I wouldn't be enough for you."

What a funny thought. The one who wasn't enough was me. All I ever did was let my family down, so how could he think that he was the one lacking? I shook my head, needing him to understand that what he was thinking couldn't be further away from the truth.

"If anything, I'm the one who's lacking...in so many ways. Who knows? You might wake up and realize you're tired of dealing with my bullshit," I mumbled.

I didn't even want to put that thought out there, but who knew what would happen? Didn't Corelyn get fed up with me too? And she was my sister. Who was to say the same wouldn't happen with Conall? I hated that I was so insecure in my feelings, that I needed him to reassure me when that was all he'd been doing.

"I'm sorry," I said before he could reply. "I'm being an insecure idiot."

"Hey, I don't want you talking about my boyfriend like that," he teased and gently flicked me on my forehead. That got a smile out of me. "And your feelings are valid. Don't ever feel bad for your emotions or telling them to me. In fact, I like it when you share them with me, then we can work them out together."

I grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it. "How do you do that?" I asked gently. "How do you have a higher EQ than most people I know?"

He laughed. There was a twinkle in his eye as he said, "Maybe it's from years of over-sharing? You tend to work out a lot of emotions when you talk too much."

"Too much? Never. I could probably listen to you talk forever."

Conall lit up, shooting me that unrestrained smile that always had my stomach making waves inside of me. It was comforting, familiar, and an emotion I wanted to sink into forever.

"So are you like the next king or something?" he asked later when we'd finished the entire large box of pizza. We never did get around to drawing and ended up snuggling in his floor nest instead.

"Nope, we're a matriarchal kingdom. My oldest sister, Corelyn, is next in line."

"Oh, thank god, because can you imagine me being your kingdom's version of the First Lady? Well, First Gentleman, in my case, but the point is, I've never even had to take care of a pet before, much less a whole entire kingdom!"

I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I loved that he was thinking about a future by my side.

"You said your oldest sister is the next in line. Does that mean you have more sisters?"

I nodded.

"Tell me about them."

And so I told him about my childhood. I told him how Corelyn had always been strict with us, even when we were kids. How my middle sister, Dyna, was in charge of our kingdom's military. She was all muscles and had been like that since I could remember. And how I was closest in age to Naial, which meant the two of us often played together when we were younger. Naial was now a chef and managed most of the kingdom's food supply with my dad.

"All my sisters contributed greatly to the kingdom...and then there's me," I said, not really to gain sympathy but just to state the facts of the matter.

"That's not true. Sure, you might not be doing anything directly in your kingdom, but you're doing business on land for their sake," he said.

"Anyone can do that, though. I'm basically a delivery boy at this point," I said with a shrug.

"But they trusted you to do it for a reason."

Truthfully, I'd been the only one to volunteer for the job when we'd first started trading with the humans. Our kingdom had been mostly self-sufficient for hundreds of years, but with modernization and interacting more with other paranormal species, we'd quickly realized we needed money. And while my people might hate humans, there was no doubt that human currency was powerful.

The prejudice against humans hadn't lessened in the sperm whale kingdom, but none of them really tried changing their mindset. They were set on staying underwater for the most part.

Maybe if they weren't so closed-minded, they would be able to meet amazing people like Conall.

"I still can't believe humans buy your shit to use in perfumes," Conall said, wrinkling his nose in what looked like distaste.

"I agree, but those are your people, not mine," I said with a laugh.

"Hey, I'm more wolf than human at this point," he grumbled. Conall told me about how his parents had found him and adopted him. It confused me how anybody could ever willingly not want Conall in their lives, but that was their loss. I was glad he had his parents and Aisha there for him. And now he had me as well.

"Besides, I don't wear perfume," he said, raising his head in the air.

"Are you sure about that?" I said, grabbing him around his middle and pulling him under me. His yelp of surprise turned into laughs as I nestled my head into the nook of his neck. My nose rubbed against the one spot where his scent was the strongest. "Because you smell so fucking good. Like honey and sweetness and everything nice."

"Fuck." He craned his neck, giving me better access. I licked a stripe across his neck.

"Yep, just as delicious as I thought," I said and gently nibbled the spot I craved.

"Fuck, fuck. Do that again," Conall said, letting out a low groan that went straight to my dick. He didn't have to tell me twice.

I went back to work, sucking and licking his smooth skin, savoring the sweet taste of him while Conall let out the most delicious sounds that urged me on even more. He clung to me tightly, our bodies pressed together without an inch of space between us.

It was a glorious sensation, and having him so close to me like this made everything in the world feel right again. The only problem with being this close was that I could distinctly feel Conalls desire as well.

His stiff cock poked my stomach so hard it might as well have poked straight through me. And feeling how turned on he was made it very difficult to hold myself back, but I'd promised him that we'd go at his pace. I'd wait until he was ready, even if it killed me to stop.

"Shit, Conall," I gasped out as I rested my forehead on his shoulder. His scent still surrounded me, but at least I didn't have his taste against my tongue, tempting me way more than I could handle.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked with a whine. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find every last morsel of self-restraint inside of me. With one last lungful of Conall's sweet honey filling my nose, I somehow managed to pull myself off of him.

He lay against his red-and-purple blanket, looking so fucking sexy. He watched me. His eyes were wet with lust, practically begging me to continue. I had to look away again.

"You're killing me here. I won't be able to hold myself back if you keep looking at me like that."

Arms wrapped around me, and I felt myself being pulled down. Our lips met in a tangle of tongues and teeth. There was nothing soft about this kiss. Just an outlet of the lust that was thick enough to paint the entire room with desire.

"I didn't say I wanted you to stop," he whispered against my lips, his hips grinding against me as if to prove his point.

Someone would have to be a saint to resist that. And as I'd told him earlier: I was no saint.