Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

ALINA

A lina took a step back from the Ariel, scanning its sparkling surface.

Clucking her tongue, she turned back to the cart and grabbed the degreasing powder hose, jerking the valve open to full power. Lowering her mask and goggles back over her face, she got into position.

"You've gone over that thing twice now. It looks goddamn new, Argoud. Go home already."

Alina ignored the voice of the other scrubber on shift, Caleb, who had just finished his own craft. Her response was proceeding to blast the Ariel with another full coat of degreaser.

An hour later, once the layer of degreaser had been given extra time to absorb, she was going at it with the rotating bristle brush, elbow hurting from the abuse of going at this for five hours after the end of her shift. She was halfway done when Isabelle entered the dock and headed straight for her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Huh? Working."

"Yeah, I hear you've been working on this same ship for nearly ten fucking hours. What's wrong?"

Alina bit back a pang of irritation. "I'm just doing my job. "

Doing my job while definitely not thinking about having fucked an uhyre who then abandoned me in my cabin and hasn't spoken to me in weeks.

At least he kept his promise to restart the Uploads. Part of her worried after he ran out on her that he'd scrap the whole plan. But he didn't… Three people had been sent to the holding database already, all of them CRD registrants and one of them being Julie's grandmother.

Isabelle leaned forward. "Is this about the plan?" she hissed. "Is it wearing on you? Because I'm sending another ping tonight and I can't have an obsessive scrubber acting suspicious in this dock when I do. You never know who's watching."

"Oh, I think I do," she muttered under her breath, jerking her head to the side to swipe her overgrown bangs from her face.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, Isabelle." Alina sighed and turned toward her for the first time. "I'm on this ship surrounded by aliens just like you, remember?"

Alina knew she shouldn't be so hard on her. Isabelle hadn't done anything wrong here. If anything, she was doing more than most to try and get them out of this mess, even if it was a horrible mistake.

Alina sighed, softening. "Do you think it's wise to ping now? With Bretton…"

"Bretton seems to have been removed without any concrete suspicion," Isabelle said. "If he'd been questioned and cracked—and he would have cracked—we'd all be dead by now."

Not if Alina could help it.

"Come on." Isabelle motioned to the supply closet. "I need help finding a lubricant for the sim rig."

Alina sighed, turned off the scrubber, and pulled off her grease-stained gloves before following Isabelle to watch her broadcast the ping.

By the time she was done helping Isabelle it was 0100 and the dock was empty save for an uhyre guard with orange apertures napping against the wall on the far side of the dock near the door. The thought of having to slink past him—if that was even possible—and then traverse eerie dark halls past the glowing aliens on patrol in the middle of the night unnerved her.

Instead, Alina piled a few thermal blankets in the opposite corner and curled up in her makeshift bed. The dock was entirely unlit except for the emergency lights, and for a long time she lay there and stared at the faint orange glow of the alien on the other side. She was certain sleep would be impossible in such creepy company.

Yet when she next opened her eyes, Alina sensed that it was not just on another blink. Time had passed, and her head was groggy with sleep.

The dock was still dark. And something was coming.

Alina squinted into the darkness, some part of her instinctively hoping for a flash of familiar blue.

Crimson streaks flashed in her eyes instead. Renza loomed over her, apertures burning bright.

"Renza, I—" She shuffled upright and to her knees, thermal blankets crinkling too loudly in the dead silence. "What are you doing here?"

"We are jumping in two ship weeks, Alina Argoud," Renza said, crossing massive arms across his chest above her.

"I…" She cut herself off before she could reveal her knowledge of this information. Threxin had told her when they'd be jumping, roughly. She had known it must be any day now. But Renza didn't need to know that she knew …

"You know," he said.

So much for that.

How much could she say? How much had Threxin told him?

Why was she still covering for him anyway?

"He has been distracted," Renza grunted. "Because of you."

"I can't imagine why. He hasn't spoken to me in weeks." Alina huffed in hushed tones and pushed to her feet, kicking the blankets aside. She swayed a little as the last remnants of stolen sleep faded. She glanced over Renza's shoulder to see if the orange one was still back there. It seemed he was not.

"He cannot."

"Oh? Has he gone mute after he…" Alina bit her lip before she could say something wrong, reveal more than Renza already knew. How much did he know anyway?

"After he mated you."

Mated me?

Was that what he'd called it? Alina's stomach turned. Somehow "mating" seemed so much more grotesque than "sex." More grotesque even than "fucking." Alina realized her hands had drifted to her stomach instinctively, and she shoved them instead into the pockets of her work suit.

"I'm going to be sick…"

Renza ignored her. "Do you understand how close you came to dying that night?"

Alina set her jaw and looked away from him.

Keep yourself together.

She had certainly not been intending to show how hurt she really was to anyone, much less this stranger.

That was a lie—she'd gotten to know Renza before she even truly knew his brother. Renza had been the one she'd known as they tried to keep Threxin alive in her cabin. For the past weeks, she'd had no one to be honest with about the hurt of it all. Not her parents, who were long gone, gallivanting in Heaven somewhere. Not Dr. Pertin, who'd certainly judge her certifiably fucking insane and act accordingly.

Certainly not Threxin, who had enough to worry about and didn't even want anything to do with her anyway. Alina realized she'd been slowly coming to terms with the idea that he had given up on her. After everything, after they got a vaccine —how did he do that anyway? He'd left her after all.

But Renza. Renza was far enough from it all. He probably wouldn't even care. Why should he care about some stupid human teetering on the verge of a breakdown as a sob escaped her chest? Tears began to spill and Alina tried to bat at them with the edges of her sleeves, but they just kept coming.

Renza stood there, unmoving, and Alina was grateful for that. She didn't need comfort. She just needed a witness.

They stood like that for many "ticks." She didn't even know how long it had been. At some point Alina sank back into the pile of crinkly blankets and put her forehead against her knees, shuddering with each cathartic wave of teary release.

Eventually it was done, at least for now. She cried her grief out using the presence of this alien as the vessel for her pain. When she looked back up at Renza his expression was grim and comfortingly unsympathetic. He witnessed her shit and it didn't affect him, which meant she didn't have to feel guilty about it.

"The limiter is hurting him," she coughed through a stuffy throat, voice nasal and blocked.

Renza drew in a short hiss through his teeth, then lowered himself to his haunches, coming closer to her eye level though still he loomed over her. "The limiter failed, Alina Argoud. The limiter was not what saved you."

"F-failed?" she asked through a blubbery hiccup, dragging her knuckles over wet cheeks .

Renza lifted his chin. "He is afraid to go near you. Of failing to stop himself next time."

Alina didn't have the energy or wits about her to consider what he expected by telling her this. A migraine was already creeping behind her eyes. She had cried out so much liquid, her head throbbed and her mouth was parched.

"Why are you telling me this?" What did Renza want her to do ? It seemed an impossible situation. A failing limiter… How the hell was she supposed to fix that?

And without his limiter, what kind of a commander would Threxin be? What had she turned him into with her stupid, impossible fantasies?

Now her people would reap the consequences. Even though Mom had reminded her all those times not to be selfish as a kid, that was exactly what she became. No wonder they left.

"I believe there is a way to remove the limiter," Renza said.

"So he can really finish us all off, huh?"

"Remove it and replace it with one of your Neurosyncs."

Alina stared at him as she tried to catch up and figure out where he was going with this.

"I have been studying. Your Neurosyncs… They transmit emotion. They help you link in a way our limiter technology does not. They open you where ours close us and fight us at every moment. No?"

"Well, yeah…" Alina frowned. "The NS is… It's a tool for channeling communication across different modalities. It enhances pleasant emotions where relevant, but it doesn't block anything. It certainly doesn't make you less violent."

"But it makes you feel what another is feeling. Does it not?"

"If you want it to…"

Renza leaned closer, stern intensity in the set of his brow.

"What do you feel for my brother, Alina Argoud? "

Alina's stomach flipped, heat creeping up her neck. Renza's eyes were filled with such a knowing that Alina doubted he needed her answer, but he waited anyway. Alina opened her mouth and closed it twice, unsure if she wanted to manifest the words into more than the passing nagging they'd been in her brain—a nagging she'd been diligently fighting to forget over the last weeks.

"I think I love him."

She looked sheepishly up at Renza, suddenly self-conscious of the admission. What if uhyre didn't even know what that meant? What if he thought it was stupid?

What if it was stupid?

But Renza only tilted his chin, bracing his hand on his knee to stand and then offering it to her. He pulled her to her feet, keeping her steady as her head swam with the motion. The headache was pounding and her tongue was so damn dry.

"And when he feels that," Renza set both hands on her shoulders, watching her intently, "really feels it through a direct neural link, I believe there will be no chance in your Heaven that he'll hurt you or anyone you care for."

Threxin

He was in his cabin, examining the latest vaccination monitoring reports on the test subjects when Renza entered with the one person Threxin wanted to see least.

"What is she doing here?" He snarled at his brother, spikes flattening at the sudden sight of her before him.

He had already resolved not to see her again. She would be sent to the CRD, out of sight.

The female glanced at his brother, remaining a step behind him, waiting for him to talk first.

How dare she defer to anyone other than him like that.

"We need to remove your limiter and place a Neurosync instead," Renza said .

Threxin's brows went up, and his next words were spoken in Apthian. "Are you mad?"

"He's not." Alina stepped up, speaking Universal but clearly understanding what was said. Humans learned too quickly. At least this one did. "He explained it all to me. It's a good idea. Hear him out."

"It is the only idea, brother," Renza said. "The limiter is killing you."

Alina turned to stare at Renza then. Clearly this part was news to her, though Threxin had long begun to suspect this fact himself. And having Alina Argoud know it too was exactly the opposite of what he had wanted.

"It will not if I do not put myself in situations eliciting strong emotion," Threxin growled through his teeth. "Like the one you are creating right now, Renza."

"It is necessary," Renza said dryly. "And you and I both know there is no life you can lead in which you will not feel. It will grow progressively worse. Besides, it is your duty as Commander of this ship and this cohort."

"Is it now?" Threxin laughed dryly and leaned back in his seat. "Say more then, brother."

"Do you think it is your limiter alone that malfunctions? You are simply the first to test its limits by your…" he glanced at Alina. "Association. None of us have found ourselves in a position for such strong and inconvenient reactions."

"Tell that to Silarra, who I am certain has continued mating humans behind my back."

Renza flicked his fingers dismissively. "Silarra fucks them. She feels nothing for them except their oddly smooth cocks. Don't know what she sees in them myself."

Threxin noted Alina's hand-wringing discomfort at the direction of this conversation. He wondered what she thought of his own cock in comparison with that of her own species. Did she think it grotesque in its topology?

Not now .

"But if we are to live on the same planet, as we have on this ship, this will happen more," Renza continued. "And even without human intervention, you simply took a faster route to the final consequence we will all face. The limiters are finite. They can only control us so much before they break. And in their breaking, they will devour us and turn our brains to shreds. It is your responsibility as commander of our cohort to find the solution. You took us from our home. Now you must keep us intact."

Threxin's spikes itched, but he heard the truth of it. Renza was right. Shoq, why did he always have to be right?

"And the Neurosync? How is that supposed to help keep us from killing each other?" Threxin jerked his chin to Alina.

"The NS helps you feel." Alina stepped forward, stopping short when Threxin recoiled. Something shuttered on her face.

"Channeling emotions is more likely to regulate us effectively than walling them off, brother," Renza elaborated.

"Sounds preposterous," Threxin stated.

"It may be. Which is why I vow to kill you personally if it fails."

"Wait, what?" Alina blurted out, taken aback for the second time in the ongoing exchange. "You didn't tell me that!"

"It is necessary." Renza shrugged one shoulder.

"No, it fucking is not."

Renza looked at Threxin wryly, holding his hands out as they shared a moment of brotherly understanding at the female's ignorance. "If you do not do this, we will all die regardless. Either our limiters kill us or we kill each other. After destroying her." He motioned to Alina.

"Hear me out, brother. Lesthin is prepared to perform the procedure."

Threxin looked to the ceiling in disbelief. He should behead Lesthin for going behind his back like this .

Some ticks later, Threxin was caught up. Apparently Renza and Lesthin had devised an NS modification to make it compatible with uhyre brain structure. Removing the limiter would be more difficult… The implants had grown into their brains since childhood, fusing with their biological matter until they all but became one. Extraction would be long and arduous, and performed while he was awake.

Threxin already tasted his child self's terror at the thought of it. Sitting in that chair again, only this time with his skull splayed open and his brain being picked apart.

If it failed… Either he'd die on the table or at his brother's hands. And if it failed, all of his cohort would die too, like Renza had said. All the humans probably would as well.

Threxin looked to the female curled up in the smaller foam cushion across the foam couch, eyes circled with hints of red and eyelids heavy with fatigue. She was exhausted. He wanted to drag her into his bed and lock her in there until she slept.

But as soon as he and Renza rose after working out a plan in hushed tones, her eyes were wide open and she was jumping to her feet. Threxin paused, beginning to protest and realizing it was futile from the look on her face alone. He could keep her in his cabins by force, but… Threxin sighed, spikes relaxing to their natural upward posture, and jerked his head for her to follow.

They were in the medbay not a ship hour after Renza and Alina Argoud had barged in on him, Lesthin having been summoned to prepare for the operation. They had locked themselves in the advanced operating cabin. Threxin had preemptively instructed all conscious humans and uhyre to clear out, allowing them to enter undetected. It would not be wise to raise any questions while he was unconscious and vulnerable. Not to mention have Alina Argoud be seen in such a compromising position.

Alina had been at his side, and now, as they were getting started, Renza was steering her from the room despite her protests.

"If this fails," Threxin called after his brother, "she Uploads. Not to the holding server. To Heaven. Understand?"

Renza was lifting his chin in acknowledgment, but Alina was already shaking her head even while being pushed out the door.

"No," she bit back hoarsely, fighting and failing to get around Renza but meeting Threxin's eyes. "I won't go. I am fucking telling you, you giant alien asshole, if you die I'm not going anywhere. So you'd better not fucking die."

Then she was gone, and Threxin fumed. She would go. She'd come to her senses and go if it came to it.

But something in him knew. He had better not fucking die.