Chapter 47

CHAPTER 47

ALINA

S he paced for hours, fueled by copious caffeine pills. So long had she been pacing that surely her slippers would soon be wearing a dent in the floor of the medbay.

It was empty. No one was allowed in, and no one would see her. She could pace and cry and freak out to her heart's content.

She could even break into Dr. Pertin's office in hopes of finding some Harmonapam lying around. Of course she didn't. But when Renza left the operating theater and lit up a joint of hak she couldn't help but come to him and hold out her hand. He raised a brow at her, looking at her curiously as his apertures widened, then handed her the joint and watched her inhale. When she swallowed down the puff easily, he grunted a wry chuckle.

"Is he alive?"

Renza lifted his chin in an alien nod. "For now."

Alina sniffed and took another puff before handing the hak back to him, grateful to finally have some relief as it spread through her system. "How much longer?"

"Probably all night. Lesthin is halfway through the extraction. It is… growing complicated. "

"Right." Alina nodded and pushed herself off the wall.

She continued to pace.

Guttural voices speaking Apthian woke her hours later. She peeled her swollen eyes open and winced at the cramp in her shoulder. She was lying on the floor, curled up against the wall across from the door to the operating theater. In front of her face were two pairs of massive black boots. She followed them up to long legs and alien bodies.

Renza and the medic were talking quietly before her. She swallowed the dry needles in her mouth and strained her ears.

"…tell her… when… in case." Renza was saying.

"Rest… too stimulated, "the medic said in a disagreeing tone.

"Tell me what?" Alina croaked, pushing herself up despite her frozen aching joints. A thermal blanket fell away as she rose, which someone must have put over her at some point.

The uhyre looked down at her, medic sighing and Renza crossing his arms on his chest.

"He is awake."

Alina jumped to her feet, ignoring the protest of her body. "And? Did it work?"

Renza's cheeks hollowed as he brought a joint of hak to his mouth and sucked a sharp puff. He considered her closely. "We are about to find out."

Alina nodded, getting the message. She turned to go into the room when the medic stayed her with a firm hand on the shoulder. "Take it easy."

Alina didn't even know how to do that exactly. She had no idea what to expect out of whatever was in that room. Testing Threxin's new NS was the last thing she cared about right then. She just needed to see him alive and breathing .

She shrugged off the uhyre's hand, entering the room.

The machinery at his side began to beep rapidly when she walked through the door.

"The pulse," Lesthin muttered behind her as he and Renza followed her in. He didn't sound pleased.

He saw something in her face that made the machines scream louder until Threxin thrust out a wire-covered arm and hit the equipment, electric circuits sizzling into silence.

Alina stopped dead in her tracks, breath catching in her throat.

Shit.

He got mad about a few beeps, and he acted on it. Nothing stopped him.

Alina steeled herself and took another step forward.

"Stop," Threxin hissed.

"Can you… can you enable a link?" Alina looked back at Lesthin.

"No. But he can," Lesthin jerked his chin at Threxin. When Alina's attention fell back on him something triumphant flared in his eyes. Like he knew that's where her eyes belonged.

"You may need to tell him how," Lesthin suggested.

Alina frowned. How was she supposed to do that? "I… It just comes so naturally for us. We've had it since we were kids. I wouldn't even know how to explain. You just reach for it, kind of. It's there. Do you feel it?"

"I feel nothing," Threxin said.

"Don't… don't try . Just let it be."

"I said I feel nothing, human," he snarled, the viciousness in his voice making her seize up. His apertures flashed at the sight of that, she noticed. Did he like that now? Seeing her afraid ?

"Is there no one on this ship who received the implant later in life?" Renza asked. "Had to learn to use it?"

"We get them as babies," Alina began to shake her head, but abruptly stopped. "Kaia. Kaia only arrived on Colossal a few years ago. She got her implant just after we started our expedition to Apth—but not her," Alina rushed out.

Threxin cocked his head at her. "Why not?"

Kaia had been actively working to stop Threxin this entire time! How could Alina possibly look at her after Kaia learned what she'd done? She would never forgive the betrayal, of that Alina was absolutely certain. Kaia wasn't the forgiving type, unless it was her husband.

"She… she can't know about us, of course," Alina blinked. "Nobody can. And if she knew, she'd tell Orion, and he's the last person who should?—"

"Orion Halen is aware."

The blood drained from her face. "What?"

"Orion Halen has known since we witnessed him mating his female."

He's known for that long?!

"You watched Orion Halen… mating?" Renza's brows lifted.

Threxin did not take his eyes off her as he nodded, making her squirm as a blush crept up her face. "He sensed me. Us."

"So Kaia…"

"His female does not know."

Alina nodded. "But he probably helped her… navigate this. He probably taught her how."

Alina hated to bring him into this. But if he'd known about them and didn't tell Kaia, maybe he was more amenable to the situation? They had to know if the procedure worked. If not, Threxin would start yammering about having Renza kill him again, which was just ridiculous.

Over my dead body .

"But he won't know how it feels…" Alina sighed, chewing on her lip.

The realization that keeping this secret from Kaia was no longer an option slowly hit home. Everything Alina had done to try to gain Kaia's trust over the years would be shot into the void. Alina would forever be a traitor to the one person whose confidence she'd been working on gaining most.

But trying to get close to Kaia never worked. Everyone knew it. Even Threxin knew it—he so much as said it several times. Alina deluded herself into thinking if she'd just tried hard enough, for long enough, Kaia would warm up to her. How long could it possibly take, when even Threxin, the invading alien , grew more open to her in a matter of weeks than Kaia had in years?

"Fuck it," Alina said, looking at Threxin. "There's no point just getting Orion, he won't help. Kaia can."

"Do you want her to despise you, human?" Threxin warned.

"You just went through a fifteen-hour surgery for your people and for…" Stop being presumptuous, Alina. "And now we don't even know if it worked."

But something told her that he would not hurt her. She had to prove it to him though. Alina stepped forward. Threxin began to recoil, but she was already reaching for his hand, taking it in hers, brushing her thumbs across his knuckles. Threxin's upper lip curled, eyes closing, apertures narrowing to almost nothing.

"I'm done caring about what Kaia thinks," she said quietly. "And when she sees how far you've been willing to go and learns about the limiters… she might even understand. And if she doesn't… Well, I'm choosing you."

Threxin's spikes relaxed at his scalp. His apertures melted and his hand squeezed on hers. He opened his eyes and looked past her, over her shoulder at Renza back at the door. Then Threxin lifted his chin in an unspoken instruction.