Chapter 15

Ledger

I hold my breath as I wait for her to respond. It's been nearly fifteen minutes, and no response. I toss my phone across the room, and scream.

I pace my condo, my pulse racing with this insane want for her.

"You can't have her you asshole," I shout out to nobody around. "Fuck."

Last night at the club my resolve almost broke. I almost crossed that line and kissed her, and I know I can't do that.

But I don't know how I'll be able to sit in a room with her and not kiss her.

It's not even sexual at this point. I want to be the man that takes care of her. I want to make sure she's safe twenty-four seven.

Not Bane and his men.

They can't be trusted.

I need to keep her safe, but how?

She told me once that she always visits her father on Sundays. I glance at the clock on the wall. She's probably there now.

With a quick Google search, I find her father's address. I open the door to my condo, and run smack into my twin.

"Roman, what are you doing here?"

"I came by to check on you." He studies me, raising a thick brow, his blue eyes focusing on me. "You okay? You look like a man possessed."

I push a hand through my hair. "I'm fine." My tone is harsh, and I try my best to appear normal. Whatever that is.

"Dude, you don't look fine." Roman places a hand on my shoulder. "What's going on?"

I blow out an exasperated breath, not really wanting to let my brother in on why I'm such a mess. "I'm fine," I say again, knowing full well he knows I'm lying. Call it a twin thing, but he's always known when I'm lying to him. And vice versa.

He steps back. "I just stopped by to check on you. Adele told Dev you were under a lot of stress at the club. That you were snapping at employees and just acting like your fuse was burning on both ends."

"I think it's a candle."

"What?" he asks.

"It's the candle burns on both ends. Never mind," I say, shaking my head. I need to get to Posey's father's house to check on her. Make sure she's okay.

Maybe I just can't wait until tonight to see her. A little light stalking never hurt anyone, right?

"Ledger," Roman says, his tone determined, his eyes meeting mine. "Seriously, what's going on? Talk to me."

I blow out a breath. "Fine," I say, walking back inside my condo.

Roman follows me, and we head into the kitchen. I grab us both a bottle of water, and Roman shakes his head. "I think we need something stronger."

"I don't know," I say, not really feeling like having a drink.

"Get the whiskey. I could tell something was up with you today at Brunch earlier."

"Fine." I move around the kitchen, opening a bottle of Lucky Bastard, pouring us both a nice pour, and slide his glass to him across the kitchen island. "Here."

"I got you this bottle. Remember, last year for Christmas. I said ‘open it when you are beyond stressed and need one helluva drink.'"

"I remember." I lean against the island. "So what?"

"So? What's going on?" Roman crosses his arms over his chest after taking a nice pull of the whiskey.

I tilt my head back, swallowing the whole drink in one gulp, and set my glass down. "I'm going fucking insane."

"I can see that. Why?"

"It's her. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't fucking concentrate, man." I tug at the ends of my hair, pulling as hard as I can. I blow out a frustrated breath, and curse again.

"Posey?" Roman says. "Of course it's her. Don't know why I even asked."

"Yeah, tell me what to do. How do I make this pain of not being with her go away?"

"She's engaged, Ledger. What are you thinking?"

I push away from the island and pace my kitchen. "I'm not thinking. I can't think. I know how wrong this is, but I can't stop."

Roman blows out a breath. "Fuck."

I spin around. "How did you do it?"

Roman's face twists in confusion. "I've never been into somebody who was engaged."

"You were into Greer for years, and you never acted on it. You were able to keep your distance even though you were obviously in love with her."

Roman tugs at the back of his neck. "I pushed those feelings down deep." He raises his hand to his chest, like he's pushing something down. "You have to push that shit down. Like not let it see the light of day. You have to take those feelings and keep that shit hidden."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It isn't. It'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do."

"I'm not as strong as you." I look my brother in the eyes. "I'm not."

"Yes you are." He wraps his hand around the back of my neck, tugging me closer so our foreheads touch. "You've got this. Look at me, I've been suffering from anxiety because I couldn't face my true feelings for Greer. You're fine."

"If you call going insane fine, sure."

He releases me, and picks up his glass of whiskey. "Where were you headed? Work?"

I blow out another breath, shaking my head. "No. Not work."

"Where?"

There's no sense lying to my brother. "I was going to check on her at her father's house."

"Like spying?"

"No, not like spying. Just driving by and making sure she's okay."

"That's straight up stalking, Ledger."

I run a hand through my hair. "I can't stop thinking about her. It's bad."

"I see that. You can't go." His face is as serious as I've ever seen it. "Seriously, Ledger. You can't go."

"Bane's men can't keep her safe."

"It's not your job to keep her safe, man."

"I don't trust her fiancé to do the job. I need to be the one taking care of her. Something's going on with Bane, and I just don't trust her not to get hurt because of whatever he's up to."

Roman shakes his head like he doesn't agree with me. "Ledger, you have to push that shit down. You have got to step away. She's with Bane."

"Don't ever say that shit to me ever again," I sneer at him.

"I'm serious. She belongs with Bane. Or maybe she doesn't, either way they're going to get married, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

"What if I break them up?" I pour us both more whiskey in our glasses. "I could tell her how I feel about her."

Roman's once again shaking his head. "Don't do it, Ledger. Do you want to end up like that missing witness Bane obviously made disappear? These aren't the people to fuck with."

"You're right," I say, actually believing him. He's right. I can't deny the fact that Bane is not the type of man to be fucked with. "I won't make a move on her. I'll push it down." Easier said than done.

But it's something I need to do.

As hard as it'll be.

No pun intended.

The lights of the club blind me as I step out of my office to head downstairs to meet Bane and his soon-to-be blushing bride.

There's a commotion on the bottom floor, and I race down the stairs to see what's going on.

I spot Hurley, one of the men on my security team, holding back two men going at each other.

What catches my attention more is the fact Posey's in the middle of it all.

I push my way through the gathering crowd, and grab a man by the back of the neck that's trying to paw all over Posey. "You touch her again and I will end your life." I push him at Ranger, another one of my security team, and turn my attention to Posey. "Are you okay?" I ask her, wrapping an arm around her waist to move her away from the commotion.

"I…I think so," she says, her eyes wide. She's clearly shaken up from everything going on.

I drop my arms from her as soon as we're far enough away from the fight. "What happened?"

She glances over at the men fighting and then back at me. "I'm not really sure."

Bane appears, and then there're two loud pops fired off.

Gunfire.

Bane looks at me. "Get her out of here. Somewhere safe," he barks at me, and I don't need to think twice.

I give him a quick nod, and lift Posey to where I'm carrying her caveman style out of the club. I go through the back, where my Lamborghini is parked, and set her down. "Get in," I tell her, fishing the key fob out of my pocket. I slide in at the same time Posey slides into the front seat. I start the engine, and peel out of the back area of Club Greed.

"Where are we going?" Posey asks me once the club is nearly gone from my rearview.

"My place," I tell her, not trusting to take her anywhere else. I hit a key, calling Dev through the car's bluetooth system.

"Hey, what's up?" Dev's voice sounds through the car speakers.

"There's been gunshots at Club Greed."

There's movement on Dev's side, like he's getting up from sitting. "What's going on? Who fired the shots?" he launches question after question.

"I'm not sure. I think Bane Delgado was the target."

"Did he get hurt? Did anyone get hurt?"

I shake my head, even though he can't see me. "I'm not sure. Bane told me to get Posey to safety."

"So where are you taking her?"

"My place."

"Okay, let me call Hurley, and figure this all out."

We hang up after a quick goodbye. And I let out a deep breath. "Are you okay?" I ask Posey.

She's lost in thought, looking out the window, and when I speak she turns to face me. "I was so scared, Ledger."

I place a hand on top of her knee, wanting to comfort her in some way. "You're safe now."

Her body visibly relaxes under my palm. "I feel safe with you."

My hand itches to move. I want to trail it up her thigh, maybe under her dress, but I don't. Instead I withdraw my hand and place it back on the wheel. "You're always safe with me."

She snuggles into the leather of the front seat as I maneuver toward my condo downtown. I have no idea what's going on back at the club, or when Bane's going to call me to bring Posey to him, but for now she's safe with me.

And that's right where I like her.

We pull into the parking garage of my building, and I park the car.

"Wait here, I'll get your door." I exit the vehicle and make my way around the car. I open her door, and put my hand out for her to take.

"I can open my own car door," she says, as she gets out.

"I know you can, but I want to keep you safe."

She doesn't drop my hand. "I appreciate it."

I keep a hold of her hand all the way to the elevator. Once we step inside the lift, I drop her hand. I miss the feel of her tiny hand in mine. The warmth of it. Once we exit the elevator, I open the door to my place.

"Home sweet home," I say.

Posey steps in and her eyes roam the space, taking in my artwork lining the walls. "Wow, are all of these yours?"

I remove my suit jacket, lying it neatly across the kitchen island. I nod, moving behind her, my hands in my pockets. "Yeah, they are." I don't bring many people here. Honestly I haven't had anyone in my condo that isn't related to me in ages.

"I love this one," she says, stepping up to the drawing I just hung last week. "Is this a posey?" she asks, her eyes fixed on the art.

I step up behind her. "Yeah. I've kind of had them on my mind lately."

She spins around, her baby-blues connecting with mine. "It's beautiful."

My heart thrums in my chest, my body growing warm with how close she is to me. I inch closer, and she takes two steps back until she's leaning against the wall. I place my hands along the wall, on either side of her head.

"I know you're engaged. I know you're marrying Bane, and I respect that. I respect you, you know that, right?"

She nods. "Yes."

"Good, because for the next few minutes it's not going to look like I respect you at all." I don't even give her a chance to respond before I crash my lips to hers.

It's needy. Urgent, and I press my tongue against the corners of her mouth, begging her to open for me. She does and my tongue traces along hers. It's tantalizing.

I keep kissing her, deepening the kiss as my hands press into the wall. I grow hard with every little moan she makes.

When I break the kiss, both of our breathing is labored. She blinks at me, and I want to press my body into her.

"Close your eyes," I breathe out. "I want you to picture me touching you." I rest my forehead against hers, our mouths inches apart. "Picture my hand trailing down your body."

"Ledger, please…" she breathes out, unable to finish her sentence.

The air's thick around us, and I swear our breaths are uneven and fast. My heart's nearly beating out of my chest, and I'm guessing hers is too. I want to touch her, but I can't. She's engaged, but it nearly kills me that I can't do what I want to do with her.

I'm crossing a line with her that I shouldn't be crossing. Fuck, I shouldn't be anywhere near this damn line, but I can't help it.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "I know we shouldn't be doing this, but I can't resist you any longer. I want you, Posey." I choke up as I keep our foreheads pressed together.

We breathe in each other's air, our lips coming dangerously close to touching.

"Touch me now, Ledger. No one will ever know. Just please, touch me," she begs, and the sound of her voice goes straight to my heart. Straight to my hardening dick.

Fuck, I'm so hard.

"We'll know. We can't do this, Posey. Open your eyes. Look at me."

She does as I request.

"I need you to know I want you. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone before, but we can't do this."

She blows out a breath. "I know."

I push off the wall, and pace my apartment. What am I doing? I should just touch her. Like the angel and devil sitting on my shoulder, I think about what I want to do.

No.

The moment's lost, and I meant what I said. I do respect her.

She takes a seat along my white, plush sofa. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. "I'm so sorry."

I cross the floor and take a seat next to her on the couch. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I say, and then I ask her what I've wanted to know all along. "Why him?"

She focuses her attention on her hands in her lap. "I had good reasons to marry Bane, but right now I can't think of any of them."

"Why are you still a virgin?" I ask her.

She blinks up at me. "It's not like I set out to remain a virgin. For one, I never really liked anyone enough to give it away. After a while, it was easier and easier to save myself. Then, I got engaged to Bane, and he liked the fact I was a virgin."

"Something to look forward to on the wedding night," I say, my tone souring.