Chapter 16

Posey

Ever sat in a math class, or any subject really, and wanted to claw your eyes out because you hated the subject so much? That's how I feel right now. I hate talking about Bane in any aspect. I hate it more when it's with Ledger.

What I want to tell him is the truth. That I don't want to marry Bane at all. That it's merely a business deal.

"I also never felt like I deserved to have somebody love me," I say truthfully.

His face morphs into confusion. "What do you mean?"

I resume my focus on my hands. I twist them in my lap as I try to articulate what exactly I mean. "I don't know," I start. "I guess because my mother never loved me. She left without a care in the world. She never called to check on me, or anything. After that I vowed to never let myself get too close to anyone so I could never feel like that again if they ever decided to leave me."

Ledger sits in silence, listening to me. Having his attention on me makes my nerves take flight. When he kissed me earlier, I nearly melted into him. I would have begged for anything. I would have given him anything to touch me. To keep kissing me.

I would have sold my soul for him to claim me right here. I would have given my life for one moment with him.

But he respects Bane. He respects what we have together. Is it bad that I don't? I would have happily cheated on Bane with Ledger. Does that make me a horrible person? Can you really call it cheating when Bane holds no piece of my heart?

I don't.

But I respect Ledger, and his feelings. I don't want to lay that guilt on his shoulders.

The other reason I'd never cheat on Bane is because I know he'd kill Ledger—hell, my father too, if he ever found out. He'd take great pleasure in making me watch the horror before he killed me as well.

I almost want to cry when I think about my life. My impending wedding. My mother leaving. How do you leave somebody you love? Someone you gave birth to?

I don't understand it.

Ledger places his hands over mine, and I glance up at him. "I'm so sorry, Posey. I don't know why your mother left, but she's a fucking idiot. She definitely missed out on getting to know you."

A tear traces down my cheek. "She is a fucking idiot, isn't she?"

Ledger laughs lightly, and the sound sends shivers racing down my back. I like making him laugh. Making him smile. I want to keep doing it. "She is. But it's her loss. You're an amazing woman, Posey. I'm happy I've gotten to know you like I have."

I want him to kiss me again. The seconds tick by, and my heart pumps in my chest.

He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth like he's thinking about it, but he doesn't make a move.

I could make a move.

However, I don't because again, I respect him.

But this feeling is slowly killing me. I want to be with Ledger, not Bane. However, I know it's not sustainable.

Would Ledger grow tired of me?

And then what?

Not to mention what would happen to my father if I left Bane? I shudder at the thought.

"Cold?" Ledger asks me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling out his phone from his pocket. "No news is good news, I guess," he says, obviously talking about what went down at Club Greed.

Is this my life now?

Forever a target? I have to trust Bane to keep me safe. To employ people who can keep me safe. At least I hope he can. One good thing about tonight was having Ledger there.

I wouldn't feel safe anywhere but here with him.

I lean against Ledger, my body growing tired. I yawn. "I guess," I murmur.

Ledger squeezes me closer to him, positioning his body to make me more comfortable. "Go ahead and close your eyes, baby," he says so softly I barely hear him. However, hearing him call me baby sends shivers racing up and down my spine.

Within minutes I'm sleeping, dreaming of a wedding to a ghost. A figure who wants to harm me. As I walk down the aisle a sense of dread washes over me.

Ledger's there, trying to say something, but I can't hear him. All I hear is the sinister laugh of the man waiting for me by the dais.

I wake with a jolt, and it's dark.

I'm disoriented, trying my best to figure out where I am.

"You're safe," Ledger's voice says from not too far away.

I sit up, noticing I'm wrapped in a blanket. "What time is it?" I ask, my eyes trying to get adjusted to the low light.

There's a small candle sitting on top of the coffee table, and Ledger sits in a chair across from the couch I'm on.

"It's late," Ledger says, setting down the notebook he was just writing on. Or was he drawing?

"Are you drawing me?" I ask him, thinking about the scene from Titanic where Jack drew a picture of Rose.

"Do you want me to be?" he asks, his voice thick with heat.

"What were you drawing?" I ask him, wanting to see whatever he was creating while I was sleeping soundly across from him.

He flips the notebook over, showing me his artwork, but I can barely see it.

I reach out my hand. He stands and places the notebook in my hand before returning to his chair. I bring it close to me, my eyes focusing on what's on the paper. It is me, and it causes my pulse to spike. "You drew me?"

"I was just messing around. It's silly." He tries to take the notebook back from my hands, but I pull it closer to my chest. He stands from his chair, crossing the small space between us. He holds out his hand.

I blink up at him. "I love it," I breathe out, looking at the picture once more.

"Like I said, I was just messing around." He resumes his seat back in the chair across from me.

"Has Bane called?"

Ledger's expression tightens, a subtle tension pulling at the corners of his mouth at the mere mention of Bane. "No, not yet," he responds, the words weighted with concern.

Restlessly, I shift on the couch, my fingers twisting in anxious knots. "I wonder what's going on. Should you try calling him? I just hope everything's alright."

Ledger's hand moves with purpose, retrieving his phone from his pocket. As he unlocks the screen, a subtle glow illuminates his face in the dim room, casting shadows that dance across his features, highlighting the furrow in his brow and the intensity in his eyes. "Dev, how's everything going?" he says into the phone.

I watch as I hear a one-sided conversation between Ledger and the owner of Club Greed. When Ledger hangs up, he focuses his attention back on me.

"A few people have been arrested. Nobody can find Bane. They got him out of there, and they're looking for him for questioning. Lucky for him the two men firing the shots weren't men of his. They were Russian."

I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing this works out for me in my situation. If any one of Bane's men had tried to harm Bane, the outcome would most likely be different. "I wonder where he went."

"Do you want to try to call him?"

I grab my clutch from the table beside me, pulling my phone out. Not one single missed call. No text. Nobody calling to check on my wellbeing. I could say I'm used to it, but it still stings. No one cares.

Nobody but Ledger.

I gaze at Ledger, taking in his strong features as he taps at his phone. "I'll try calling him," I say, not wanting to tell Ledger that nobody has called me either. I pull up Bane's contact info and hit send.

The phone rings. And rings, and rings.

I hang up when his voicemail kicks in. "I guess he's not answering."

Ledger raises a brow, probably surprised that a fiancé wouldn't want to talk to his soon-to-be bride. "I'm sure he's okay."

I plop my phone back into my purse. "Yeah, I'm sure." As soon as I zip my purse back up, my phone vibrates. I pull it out, looking at who's calling. It's Bane. "Hello," I say with a shaky voice into the phone.

Bane breathes audibly like he's relieved to hear my voice. "Oh, my precious flower, I'm so glad you're okay. What a mess tonight has been. Are you with Ledger?"

I gaze at Ledger. "Yes, I'm with him."

"Let me speak to him."

I hand the phone over to Ledger. "He wants to talk to you."

Ledger grabs the phone from my hand, his thumb rubbing along my pinky finger, sending chills skating straight through me. His eyes never leave mine. He stares at me with such an intensity it makes my insides grow warm.

My heart beat ramps up as I listen to Ledger speak with my fiancé. I remember his lips pressed firmly against mine and an ache travels through my body. I think about him coming so close to touching me.

I strain to make out the words he's saying, but they slip through the haze of my thoughts. My mind is consumed with images of Ledger, memories of how he made me feel, sensations that still linger on my skin like a gentle caress.

Desperation claws at me, a craving for just one more touch from him, to feel his warmth enveloping me again.

I want to be close to him, so I do something I've never done before. I slink off the couch. On hands and knees, I crawl across the small space to where he sits.

His eyes widen once he realizes what I'm doing. "Right," he croaks into the phone, shifting in his seat as I get closer. He spreads his thighs wide, and like a cat, I rub against his leg.

His hand flies through my silky strands, and he fists my hair at the base of my neck, tilting my head so he can gaze into my eyes. His eyes are dark, intense even, as he stares down at me. "I understand," he says to Bane.

I need to be close to him. I lean back to where I'm between both his legs. I lick my lips, hungry for him. My heart's beating uncontrollably, and I can't stop this fierce need for something I can't even put into words.

He's still got a grip on my hair, and he massages my head, like he needs something just as badly as I do. He licks his lips as he mouths the word, "More."

I trace both hands up his legs, and over his thighs. I don't even know what I'm doing, but all I know is I can't stop. My body grows warm, and the space between my legs throbs with desire.

"I'll bring her home," he says into the phone, his eyes on fire. He presses for the call to end, and tosses my phone onto the table beside him. "Posey, you're killing me," he groans out, his voice throaty and threadbare.

I keep running my hands over his thighs, wanting more than anything to undo his zipper. Take him out. Suck on him.

Something. Anything.

It's like I'm screaming inside my own mind. Begging for this. Needing it more than the air I breathe. I should stop, but it's physically impossible.

"I don't want you to take me home," I whisper.

He squeezes his eyes shut as he leans his head back, a soft groan escaping his lips. "I don't want to take you." His eyes open, and the look he gives me is one of pure madness. Deranged. Like he's feeling the exact same way I am. Like it's driving him completely insane.

I almost can't deal with it either. I want this man.

It brings tears to my eyes, and he cups my face, swiping a tear racing down my cheek.

He sighs. "I know you love him, but the way you kiss me...tells me you don't love him at all."

Suddenly, he's on his feet, frustration boiling over as he curses and rakes his fingers through his hair. "I didn't mean to say that," he mutters, regret painting his features. "Let me change, and then I'll take you home."

I nod, my heart racing to catch up with the whirlwind of emotions. I don't love Bane. I wish I could tell Ledger that. But the words stick in my throat, trapped by fear and uncertainty.

As Ledger returns in jeans and a black t-shirt, a palpable tension surrounds him, his movements sharp and vigilant. He guides me swiftly through the parking garage, his senses on high alert, scanning every shadow as though expecting an imminent threat to emerge from the darkness.

With a gentle, yet protective touch, he assists me into the luxurious embrace of the leather front seat. As the door closes with a soft thud, sealing us inside, I exhale a long breath, the weight of unease settling heavy in my chest, casting a pall over the already tense atmosphere.

Oh, how I wish for a different life.

However as Ledger pulls away from his building and points his car in the direction of my future, I remember things can never change.

This is my fate.

And I sealed my fate ages ago. There's no way out. So, I sit in the front seat of Ledger's luxury car, a palpable heat stretching between us, and try to push away the want—the desire—I have for this man.