Chapter 14

Posey

"Are you listening to me, Dad?" I stand with a hand planted firmly on my hip, my gaze scrutinizing my father as he diligently taps away at his computer, the soft light of the screen casting shadows across his face.

He pauses, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, and lifts his eyes to meet mine. "Yes. What were you saying?" With a decisive click, he shuts the laptop, swiveling in his chair to fully focus on me, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity. "Are you nervous about the wedding?"

I shake my head, though the queasy sensation in my stomach threatens to betray my calm exterior. It's been churning all morning, a relentless roil of nerves and dread that refuses to dissipate.

Last night's encounter with Ledger at the club still lingers in my mind, a tense exchange that has left me on edge ever since. The memory plays like a loop in my mind, each repetition only intensifying my desire. My want.

As I returned home, the weight of anticipation settled in my chest, my phone clutched tightly against my racing heart. I yearned for his message, a lifeline in a sea of uncertainty.

"I'm not nervous about the wedding," I assure my father, meeting his gaze with a sense of determination tinged with apprehension.

His eyes, filled with hope and a father's love, search mine, and a gentle smile graces his lips. The telltale crow's feet at the corners of his eyes deepen as he leans forward, his expression encouraging. "So, what's the problem?"

The words catch in my throat, a knot of conflicting emotions threatening to suffocate me. I long to confide in my father, to unburden myself of the weighty truth that sits heavy on my heart. But the fear of disappointing him holds me back.

I want to confess that it's not Bane I yearn for at the altar, but another whose name dances on my lips like a forbidden melody.

I want Ledger.

I shouldn't even be having these thoughts. They're so wrong, but yet feel so right. I would have given anything in the world for him to touch me last night.

To kiss me.

To give in.

When I woke up this morning, and Bane told me we'd be going to the club tonight once again, I had this sense of anticipation and excitement wash over me. I can't wait to see Ledger again.

And yet, I'm terrified as well.

Tonight I might beg him to kiss me.

"I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you," my father starts before I can voice what's bothering me. "I know this isn't ideal, but it might be a good thing."

I chew at my bottom lip. "I know," I say, all thoughts of asking Ledger to kiss me tonight disappearing. I can't.

I have to hold strong to my word. To my father.

If I don"t, who knows what Bane would do.

"I'm so glad he was found not guilty," my father says, and I nearly choke on air.

"Sure," I say, knowing full well nobody found Bane not guilty. His case was thrown out because something happened with a witness.

I'm sure Bane did something to that witness.

Positive he did.

My stomach clenches as I think about Bane doing something horrible to my father. To me.

"You okay?" my father asks, his bushy eyebrows raising. "I'm sure it's just nerves about the wedding."

I nod. "I think so. I don't want to let anyone down."

My father studies me for a moment, and then he smiles wide. "You can't possibly let anyone down, Posey." With a determined stride, he crosses the room to where I stand, leaning against the kitchen table. "Do you have your dress?" he inquires, his tone laced with anticipation.

I nod again. "Bridgette found a really classy dress that she says will be perfect."

My father beams, and wraps his arms around me. "It's not everyday your only daughter gets married. I can't wait to walk you down that aisle."

I hug my father back, wishing that there was some other way I could keep him safe without having to marry Bane.

But there's not.

The sound of my phone's notification pierces the air from the depths of my purse, startling me so intensely that I almost jump out of my own skin. With a mixture of excitement and trepidation, I delve into my bag, fingers fumbling through the items in search of my device. Each second feels like an eternity as I anxiously navigate the clutter. Is it Ledger, reaching out to me at last? The mere thought quickens my pulse.

"Expecting a call?" my father asks, watching me closely.

I clutch my phone, and swipe it on. There's a message from Ledger. I look up at my father, meeting his eyes. "Just some wedding stuff." I click open the message.

You never did answer my question.

What question is that?

What do you want?

And with one text my pep talk reminding me to stay away from Ledger dissolves. I type back as quickly as possible, trying my best not to seem too eager in front of my father.

I'll show you tonight.

I know this is forward, but…I can't stop thinking about you. About the way you smell. The way you looked in that dress. I can't get the image out of my head. I just wanted you to know.

All the air is whooshed out of my lungs, and I try desperately not to look affected.

"Everything okay?" my father asks, returning to his computer.

I push my phone into my pocket, my heart beating out of control. "Fine." I move away from the table. "I just have to use the bathroom."

My father nods, and I rush out of the room, heading down the hallway.

As soon as I'm inside the confines of the bathroom, I let out a deep breath. I reread Ledger's message over and over, a need pulsing through me.

I type him back.

I can't stop thinking about you either.

I can't believe I just wrote that, but there's no taking it back. It's out there.

It's delivered.

There's no turning back.

This is so wrong. I'm so sorry. I know you're engaged. It's just I don't know how to stop wanting to touch you.

I want to tell him not to stop. To think about me as much as I think about him. To have the same thoughts I have.

To want me as badly as I want him.

But I can't say that, can I?

I'm going to hell. I push my phone back into my pocket, unable to respond. I need to return to my prison, back to Bane.