Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Deacon

R egret wrapped around my heart as hard as my fingers wrapped around the metal banister on the balcony. I was angry with myself, embarrassed for how I had spoken to Sarah and Jac, and mortified that I had let Rex get in my head so easily.

At least I didn’t tell them my secret.

It was a small comfort, but it was all I was permitted in the moment.

I exhaled a harsh breath in the afternoon breeze. The trees swayed past the moat, yet the water still never moved. It was almost mystical in its stillness. There were many things that did not add up at Rex’s manor. The moat. His ability to be touched by Sarah. The way his doctor operated.

The last one would have been more than enough for me to call on conduits, before their demise. Back then, any suspicion of magicians was to be torn out, root and stem. But now, with no living conduits—aside from Sarah—who was I to call upon?

The doctor’s lab had been sparse, few medical supplies anywhere, and no equipment. My ship’s infirmary was better stocked. For that matter, Jac’s infirmary was better stocked than that, and his ship was constantly in need of repairs and inventory. Not that Sovereign was falling apart, but it was nowhere near as nice as my own, and even that was better prepared for a patient to walk in.

A manor house’s lab should have looked like a surgical suite.

Instead, the old man dripped a concoction onto my wounds, before he took my hands close to his mouth and whispered on them. Within moments, the wounds reknit, and the skin had begun to form at the edges, patiently waiting for the muscles and tendons to finish their work before closing up over them.

I stared down at my hands, unsure of them. Unsure of myself, too. The new skin had laid down in faint strips, so it was still sensitive. But it was solid and no longer injured. Perhaps magicians aren’t all bad?

I nearly laughed at myself, because of course, they are the worst sort .

Sarah’s voice had carried through the glass balcony door as she and Jac argued, but I caught only random words. “Jerk…idiot…fool.” I was all of those things and more. She had every right to her harsh words. I wasn’t angry with her about them. I was angry because they were true, and I didn’t know how to speak to her in the moment. I was unaccustomed to feeling wrong. I was a Ladrang. We were never wrong. Misinformed, mistaken, confused, but never completely wrong.

I sighed. We were wrong about so many things.

The door behind me cracked a short time later, alerting me to someone’s presence. I waited anxiously for Jac’s reassuring hand on my shoulder. I loved his touch—it was one of my life’s greatest comforts.

But the touch never came.

“It’s a nice view, isn’t it?” Rex asked.

I stiffened at hearing my nemesis’ voice. “What are you doing here, and where are Jac and Sarah?”

“They’re…about,” he said vaguely.

After hearing Sarah storm out of the bedroom, I could only assume that Jac had followed her at some point, to make sure she didn’t wander the manor by herself. Which made it convenient for Rex to drop by unannounced.

Glancing at Rex, the cause of all my turmoil, I steamed. “What do you want?”

“To admire the view, as well,” he said, staring at me. “It’s rather handsome.”

My stomach churned with distrust. “Flattery and lies get you nowhere with me. I thought you would remember that.”

He chuckled softly. “Ah yes, the Ladrang way. Straight truths, followed by needless formality, and a dull sense of duty and morals. You must be so proud of your people.”

“I am,” I half-lied. “What do you want, Rex?”

“For you to unhand my banister before you bend it with all the tension in your restored hands.”

I immediately let go and glared at him. “Happy?”

“At times,” he said, deliberately misconstruing my reply. “Are you?”

“Deliriously,” I said sarcastically. “Can you leave me alone now?”

“No time for old friends?”

“We were never friends, Rex,” I said, not giving him an ounce of sympathy. “Not really.”

He sniffed in derision, then stared over the moat. “I suppose that’s true. Hard to be friends with your commanding officer. That’s why I never got along with mine.”

“Or anyone else in the company,” I bit out.

He laughed. “Also true. But they knew I would get the job done, and that’s how you earn respect.”

That’s how you earn a hand cannon to the brain . “What are you here for, Rex?” I asked for the third time. “I doubt it’s to reminisce over old times.”

“Very well.” He clasped his hands behind his back, his gaze steady on mine. “I want you to know that I am impressed by your consort. She is a formidable woman. You are fortunate that you met her, and your fortune is my misfortune.”

I made a sound of disgust. “I knew you had a thing for her.”

“I’ve never been shy or subtle, Deacon,” he said unabashedly. “I have many skills, but not those.”

My jaw clenched. “So did you come out here to tell me you plan to keep her here?” I would fight him to my death, if that were the case. There was no way I’d ever allow anyone, let alone Rex, to take what was now mine and Jac’s.

“Moons above, my boy, no!” he said, looking completely sincere. “I have come to tell you that I want to team up with you and your union on this hunt for the conduits, and that is all.” But then he shook his head. “Actually, that is not all true. I will hunt with you, on the condition that if any of you get any ideas of stopping me from conquering more of Halla, I will see it as a breaking of this treaty between us, and I will not hesitate to do whatever I need to do to any of you.”

My hatred for him grew tenfold. “You will not ever have Sarah, treaty or no treaty.”

He stared into my eyes as he cackled. “That’s what all of this is about, isn’t it? You are so wound up over her that you would ignore her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it, but I watched your consort run down the hall to her room, crying.”

My heart twisted in my chest—that she was crying because of me and that Rex, of all people, saw her doing it. “Did you console her?”

“I thought it more appropriate for her companions to do that,” he said, then gave me one of his smirks that I wish I had the ability to smack off his face. “But if you would prefer, I would be more than happy to console her.” His dark eyes lit up at the thought. “Again and again, until she forgot your name entirely.”

My hands flexed into fists I was unable to use on him. “I may not be able to hit you, Rex, but my bone knife is in my pocket right now.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure it is.”

I glanced at him, my lips pursed. “She thinks we dated.”

He laughed heartily. “Well, I can understand why she’s crying, then. If I were in her shoes, then I would be worried about your ex, too.”

I rolled my eyes, employing that very human gesture. In the moment, it just felt right.

And it was effective. Annoyance laced Rex’s tone when he asked, “Tell me, why are you so insecure in your union?”

“I am not,” I said immediately, because his question hit too close to the truth.

He gave me a side long look rife with disbelief. “If you were not, then you wouldn’t be so twisted up over my harmless flirtations with Sarah. You would pity me for my misfortune. You wouldn’t be worried about me.”

I dismissed his comment with a wave of my hand and stared at the trees.

“You have been together how long?” he asked.

“Not terribly long,” I said, keeping my replies superficial.

“To my knowledge, she has met your father and others in your circle. Have you met any of her kin?”

“Her mother.” I wasn’t going to tell him it was after the woman had been made a ghost, and Sarah had summoned her at the forest temple. There was no doubt in my mind that giving Rex information like that would be used against us one day. I just didn’t know how, but I wasn’t going to risk it.

“It went well?” he prompted.

I shrugged noncommittally.

“What are her friends like, back on Earth?”

I finally glanced at him, irritated with his line of questions. “Why do you care?”

“Her family? Colleagues? Her job?” he continued.

“She was a kept woman, what of it?” I snapped.

He smiled, but it was smaller than most of his smiles. “Seems to me, the two of you need to get to know one another better.”

My jaw clenched. “Seems to me, my union is none of your business, Rex.”

“Oh, but it is.” Now, his smile widened to the one I had grown to know and hate over the years. “You three are my partners in a very personal endeavor. I want you in top form, all of you. My neck is on the line here, not just yours. If you are off your game, that could be the end of us all. So, make up with your consort and your companion, preferably before we leave for the swamp forest to confront the conduits.”

My eyes glued themselves back to the trees as I quietly admitted, “I am not sure how to make it up to them.”

“Do what any man does in your position. Lie and buy them things.”

I laughed, in spite of myself. As much as I hated Rex, I appreciated his comic relief. “Clearly, you have no idea who they are, if you think that would work.”

“I may not know who they are, but I know what works in general. Though I must admit, you are likely right about that in Sarah’s case. She is a singular woman. Jewelry will not dissolve her anger. She is smart, cunning—the guards at the gate are still talking about her pulling her knife on one of them. She’s not fragile, like so many people would be in her peculiar position.” Rex was quiet for a moment, before saying, “But I think my favorite thing about her is her lack of judgement.”

My insides churned. Only a lack of judgement would have allowed her to take Rex inside of herself for a possession. “Did you and she…” I gestured grotesquely with my new fingers and waited expectantly for an answer.

He frowned and paused, before he asked, “Are you asking if I possessed her?”

I swallowed hard, but I needed to know. “Yes.”

“No!” He looked surprised. “I do not mean she lacks that kind of judgement. I meant that she is nonjudgmental. Lenient, about certain things. She doesn’t make me feel like a pirate, the way everyone else does. It’s refreshing.”

I unclenched the tension that had a stranglehold on my body and took a full breath. “I see.”

“I’m less sure about Jac. I’ve always known he hated me,” Rex said thoughtfully. “But given Sarah’s talent for understanding and compassion, she might even understand why you murdered me.”