SIOBHAN’S EPILOGUE

Lorcan’s first year is great, even if he’s a moody kid. His main moods seem to be “I need to be held immediately” and “I’m surrounded by hilarious people!”

Much like the twins, Lorcan looks like a mix of his parents. He inherited Indigo’s smile and golden-brown eyes. He has the same nose shape as the twins, Mom, Carys, and me. His hair is thick, brown, and usually in a state of disarray.

I love my snuggle bunny, and he’s crazy about his family. Once Lorcan can crawl, he follows around his siblings in the yard. Once he can walk, he won’t leave them alone. Boundaries will no doubt be a future issue.

Just after Lorcan takes his first steps, I turn up pregnant again. I’m four months along when we get a call about a renovated house for sale not far from Bear’s place. Knowing nothing stays on the market for long in Willow Brook, Indigo and I head over immediately.

The fa?ade is rather cookie cutter with dark blue siding and gray brick. The light wood on the pediments over the windows matches the front porch posts and garage doors.

“The property is on an acre,” the realtor explains. “Most of that space is located in the backyard, which is fenced like you wanted.”

Indigo makes a beeline for the yard. The man’s obsessed with space since he downsized from the farm to my respectable yet snugger house.

He doesn’t even need to say a word. I can tell simply by his little grin how the yard size is what he wants. There are a few tall trees toward the back, but most of the space is completely flat. The dogs will love it while the kids will have space for a playset and maybe a pool when they’re bigger.

“Let’s hope the inside is as nice,” I tell him, a little worried about downgrading my lovely ranch for a boxy two-story.

“There’s a fully furnished basement with space for a game room,” says the realtor. “The current owner set up two bedrooms and a bathroom down there, too.”

That part excites me since Glen will soon be a teenager. Right now, the little guy looks right at home with his three sisters. He isn’t all that much bigger than them. However, he’ll change a lot in the next few years. Many of my foster brothers arrived around the age of eleven. They went from rowdy kids to gross teenagers so damn quickly.

The entryway is standard. The stairs facing the front door are super bad feng shui. I’m not feeling it, but I don’t dare tell Indigo. He’s already so excited.

The kitchen makes me horny, though. So shiny and new with a big ass kitchen island with space for the kids to eat. I warm up to the house when I see the window over the sink and imagine watching Indigo out back with our babies and dogs.

The primary bedroom is downstairs, tucked away to the side. On the second floor is another bedroom suite with a sitting room connected by a bathroom.

“Wait, I have an idea,” I tell Indigo while the realtor wanders around downstairs. “What if we added a door to the sitting area of this suite? We could put all three girls in here. The twins on the bedroom side, and Nora in the sitting area. They can share the big bathroom. That way, they’re together yet separate.”

Indigo frowns, ready to point out how Nora doesn’t like being alone.

“Think about her as a teenager,” I explain. “She’ll want her space. Right now, the girls can open the doors and hang out. One day, they can shut the doors to create privacy.”

“I don’t know girl stuff.”

“No, baby, you don’t,” I say and walk down the hallway to the three small bedrooms. “We’ll stick Lorcan and this one,” I say and rub my belly, “in here when they’re bigger. This spare room can be a playroom.”

“What about Glen?”

“For now, we can keep him upstairs. When he hits his terrible teens, we’ll move him to the basement where he can jack off without interruption.”

“I never had my own floor to jack off,” Indigo says and peeks into the room. “I don’t want him to feel left out.”

“If he doesn’t want to move down there in a few years, we’ll turn the playroom into a bedroom for the new baby. Who knows? Maybe the twins will want to be down there.”

The basement isn’t creepy at all. The ceiling is high and covered in recessed lighting. I would have killed to have a hangout spot like this as a teenager .

“What do you think?” I ask Indigo when we return to the backyard.

“I want it.”

“I know.”

“Do you want it?”

“I love my house,” I mumble and then shrug. “But I’ve been preparing for this move for a while.”

Indigo seems unsure. Not about the new house. He loves the space and floorplan. Yet, he gets attached to places. He was sad when he left the hills for the farm. He missed the main farmhouse when he moved to the second one with his adult club brothers. He missed the farm when he came to my house. Now, he’s gotten attached to my house.

In the end, Indigo never needs to say goodbye to the ranch because his brother buys it. By then, Bobby has settled into his job at the club’s contracted law firm. Cathy’s a full-time substitute teacher at the kids’ school, having taken over a class while a teacher is on maternity leave. They’re talking about having a baby, and my house is in the right neighborhood.

Once the two-story home is ours, we throw a party. My entire family shows up. I try to organize the timing so Zoot and Caveman aren’t around at the same time. That doesn’t work, and the men poke at each other until I’m certain wrestling will break out.

“As you know,” I say, stepping between them, “I chose Lorcan’s name because of Zoot’s wonderful suggestion.”

Caveman sneers at me before turning his irritation at Zoot, who embraced my lie once he realized it irritated his rival.

“But for this baby, I want to honor my other uncle,” I say and then glance at Noble. “Sorry. But I’ll have to honor you with a plaque or a special event or something. Because I’m naming this baby after Caveman.”

“That’s dumb,” Zoot says and pets my head. “Your sister gave her kids great names from a cool movie. Instead, you name your kids shit that no one can spell. Now you’re naming the newest one after this fucking moron?”

Caveman spits out, “You’re the one that can’t fucking spell, so who’s the moron here?”

“Your love warms my heart,” I say and smile at them. “But Caveman did watch out for Indigo.”

“I did that, too,” Noble mutters, really selling his hurt feelings .

“Fine. We will name our son Oisin Nobility O’Malley.”

“That’s a terrible name,” Zoot grumbles.

“If you want a kid with a better name, go make one. This is my son’s name, and you’re making fun of him.”

With my third pregnancy, I gain the superpower to cry on demand. I use this talent to get out of a lot of work. Right now, I unleash it on Zoot.

He steps away, horrified by my emotions. “Name the kid Otis or whatever it is. Good luck. See you around.”

We enjoy a good chuckle as he walks away.

Wiping my eyes, I look at Caveman. “You’re welcome.”

My uncle shakes his head. “No one is ever saying that name right.”

“Then, my boy will get a nickname like you did,” I say and shrug. “Some people go out of their way to make life complicated.”

“Uh-huh. How come you’re using Noble’s road name, but you’ve decided to use my legal one?” Caveman demands, clearly still riled up from when he thought he might pound on Zoot.

“Because Caveman is a dumb name for a kid. Nobility sounds pompous, sure, but I think I can pull it off. After all, I am royalty,” I say and point at my tiara.

Caveman glances at Noble and then the twins who rush over to show off their tiaras. Instead of thanking me for naming my kid after him, Caveman just orders the girls to fear bears. When they shake their heads, he storms off.

“He nearly lost a nut to Yogi Bear,” Noble explains to the twins. “Just ignore his whining.”

Caveman might not thank me for choosing his name, but he heads over to Indigo and starts chatting him up.

“Caveman is happy about the baby’s name,” I tell the twins while Hector and Nora run over with Natasha close behind.

“Can you say the baby’s name?” I ask Hector.

Natasha offers a grumpy grunt and rubs her belly where her second baby cooks. “Is this a test?”

“Yes. I find it fascinating what he can say and what he mangles.”

Hector looks back at Jacinda running toward him. “Ocean!” he cries, and she laughs.

“Close enough,” I say and hug Natasha. “I’m so happy to have this house. ”

Natasha bounces slightly before remembering her preggo bladder. “You’re even closer to my house.”

Hunter is soon added to our cuddle fest. She carries baby Atticus while Tack walks around with Lotus in his arms. Carys joins us as Ripley toddles around with Olívie and Lorcan.

The kids have already started grouping up. Glen gravitates toward Hicks and Hudson. The twins and Nora offer tiaras to Jacinda and Hector. Lotus ends up inside the fenced play area with the other walking babies.

Bear and Tack show off their pug dogs to Caveman who doesn’t seem impressed. However, Indigo stares at the ugly dogs like he’s looking at magic. I know what I’m getting him for his birthday!

Blue is still a puppy when Oisin is born. Indigo and I decide to have my tubes tied during the C-section. Six kids and four pets are enough chaos for our family.

Like his older brother, Oisin looks like a mix of his dad and me. Unlike his older brother, Oisin isn’t moody. He’s easy-breezy unless something is wrong. He never just cries to test out his voice. Born into a big family, he realizes he’ll never be able to out-drama all the people around him.

Oisin adores his dad. They often sit out back together and watch the dogs and kids make noise. I’ll find them grinning at each other as if we’re so damn entertaining.

Indigo isn’t a casually fun guy like my dad. Elvis owns his feelings in a way Indigo probably never can. My man’s heart is so tender about the people he loves.

However, Indigo isn’t nearly as serious as I used to think. He loves playing out back with the kids. He will get on the floor to engage with his youngest sons. I often catch him wrestling around with the dogs. Once Indigo unleashes his silly side, I feel as if I was blind to have never realized it existed.

Occasionally, when the house is quiet and the kids are focused on something, I’ll find myself standing in front of Indigo. We look at each other and I’m hit by how much has changed between us since that magical night in the clubhouse. We’d known each other for most of my life. I had loved him since we were kids. He was my family and a friend. Yet, he remained a mystery to me.

I didn’t have a clue how passionate he was inside. No matter how dumpy I might get some days, Indigo can unleash a look that makes me feel like the sexiest woman in the world .

Before that night, I saw a loyal guy with a big broken heart. I never could have imagined how patient he would be with our babies. Or how curious he might be about life outside his little circle.

Every day, Indigo offers love in such effortless yet meaningful ways. When Nora burns a new recipe, he quickly soothes her tears and helps her figure out how to salvage the meal. When Glen struggles at school and we get called in to talk with the teacher, Indigo goes on the internet to find the right questions to ask. If the baby cries in the middle of the night, he pops up on the first grumpy whine. He’s so fast that I sometimes never know they were up at all.

For a long time, Indigo fell into a rut. He loved the club and farm. He had good friends. When he was feeling low, Mom always knew he needed her attention. Life was simple, and it made sense, but Indigo needed more. He just couldn’t figure out how anything worked. At some part, he got stuck, but he never wanted to stay stuck.

Once he realized I could love him as he hoped, Indigo started pushing himself. He asks questions rather than hiding. I know it’s not easy. Indigo doesn’t want to be wrong or look stupid. He’s a guy, and his ego needs protecting.

Yet, he wants to be the best version of himself. That guy, the one who laughs his ass off about the dogs being goofy or gets emotional when his kids are hurting, is more than I ever dreamed I’d find for myself.

Once I truly saw Indigo, the love bug bit me right.