Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

MATTHEW

T he anger on Jessica’s face is so familiar, yet so foreign to me. I’d seen her mad plenty of times growing up. Jessica has a temper and seeing her pissed off is an interesting thing to watch. It’s cute most of the time.

But her anger was never turned toward me, except when I tried to steal her horse. So being on the receiving end right now—no matter how deserving it might be—is an unfamiliar position.

I’m not sure any of my usual methods for calming her down will work. Especially not kissing her. That used to work like a charm. Pulling her close, wrapping my arm around her waist, and gently pressing my lips to hers always turned her anger to mush. She’d melt into me, all the tension in her body fading as she relaxed.

She’s changed a lot since the last time I saw her. Her features are sharper, more pronounced than what I remember. Maybe because she’s thinner than I recall. Not that she was ever big, but her curves were softer before and her cheeks were fuller.

Any hint of the young girl is gone and she’s all woman now, more beautiful than ever. The soft curls of her hair hug her body and accentuate the swell of her breasts. Her very full breasts. Her dress cuts into a deep V in the front, and I’m struggling to keep my eyes up, and not stare at her cleavage. But fuck, it’s hard.

Her eyes are the same. Deep pools of sapphire blue with hints of gold that sparkles when the light hits them just right. And that mouth—pouty, pillowy, pink lips made for kissing.

She sits back in her seat and crosses her arms over her chest. Any other time, I’d be grateful she did that because her arms push her breasts closer together and up. Fuck, that cleavage. “What do you want, Matt?”

I drop my head and rub my hand on the back of my neck. I start to open my mouth to answer her, but Rachel walks up to our table.

“Hey, Matt. I brought you a coffee, just the way you like it.” She sits a travel mug in front of me with her typical big grin.

“Thanks, Rach.” I reach for my pocket to pull out my wallet, and she shakes her head.

“This one’s on me.” She pats my arm before she turns to Jessica. “Yours too, sweetie.”

Jessica shakes her head, and waves her hand over the table. “Oh, no. I can’t let you do that. I can pay.”

“I’m sure you can, but you’ve got enough to deal with right now. The least I can do is comp your lunch.” Rachel turns to me and winks. “Anything to eat?”

“Nah, this is good.” I lift the coffee and force a smile. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” She pats my shoulder and leaves me alone with Jessica’s softened gaze. If Rachel picked up on the tension between us, she didn’t let on. But that’s typical for her. She probably sensed it before she brought the coffee over. Hell, it’s probably why she brought the coffee and comped Jessica’s lunch. Rachel hates for people to be upset and makes it her mission to cheer them up.

“Jess, I just want to make sure you have a place to stay. It’s tourist season, and I doubt you’ll find anywhere close by to rent. Mom’s making up the spare room for you as we speak. But if you prefer your old room, that’s an option, too.”

“So, you thought you’d march in here like a knight in shining armor and save the day?”

“I’m not trying to be a knight. Just trying to do the right thing here. I thought you knew.”

She drops her arms and leans forward, and fuck, that’s even worse. Her chest presses against the edge of the table and pushes her cleavage right in my face. I force my eyes to look away, and hope she can’t see the effect she’s having on me. “I didn’t know shit. Apparently, no one thought I needed to know my ex and his new family were living in my house.”

I cringe because that stings. “It’s just me and Emmie. We moved in after Emily died.”

Her expression softens and her eyes gloss over. “I heard about her death. As much as I hated her, I never wished her dead. I’m sorry that happened.”

I shrug. The last thing I want to talk about with Jessica is my dead wife or how she died. Having a child was supposed to be a happy time. But for us, it was anything but. Leaving the hospital alone with a newborn baby had never been something I’d considered would happen. “Thanks. That was a long time ago. Emmie and I are fine. Being a single dad suits me.”

A tear escapes her eye, and she quickly wipes it away. I doubt that tear has anything to do with my loss. Hell, I’m not upset about it. I know that makes me an asshole, but I was never in love with Emily. I cared about her. She was a good person with a heart of gold, but she was never supposed to be my wife. I never intended to marry her. When she ended up pregnant, I didn’t have a choice. I did what I thought was the right thing, and made her my wife no matter how much it hurt me to do it.

Jessica closes her laptop. Whatever anger she had when I arrived is gone and replaced with sadness. “I can’t do this with you right now.”

“Jess, please.” I reach across the table for her hand, but she pulls back. It was an instinct, and I immediately regret it. I can’t help my need to comfort her. “Sorry. I’m just offering you a place to stay while you’re here. I’ll keep my distance.”

“Oh, that’s very kind of you considering it’s my fucking house.” Her voice elevates, and several heads turn in our direction.

“Keep it down, Jess. Let’s not air our problems for the town to see.”

She leans forward and pokes her finger in my chest. “I don’t care if the town knows what kind of asshole you are Matt. Maybe it’s time someone called you out on all your shit. Do they know about the promises you made me? Do they know you said you’d marry me, and not some stranger from God-knows-where? I spent years believing you—loving you.” Her voice cracks. She sits up straight and covers her face before she continues. “Like a fool, I believed you still wanted me. And when I needed you most, you were with her.”

I start to respond but Rachel approaches. “Hey guys. I appreciate you two have some things to talk about, but do you think you can keep it down a bit?”

Jessica stands and gathers her things. “Sorry. We’re done here. I’m leaving.”

I drop my head against the back of my chair and rub my hands over my face. I understand where she’s coming from. Her feelings and anger toward me are completely valid, but she’s frustrating the hell out of me. She has nowhere else to go and she knows it.

When I look back up, she has her bag over her shoulder and she’s heading for the door. “Jess, wait.”

She doesn’t stop. I shouldn’t follow her, but all I can hear are my momma’s words insisting that I make this right.

By the time I make it out the door, she’s halfway down the sidewalk. I have no clue what I’m going to say to her when I catch up to her. All I know is I have to stop her from walking away. I’ve let her go so many times in the past, but something is different now. I can’t explain it. Everything within me is pushing me toward her, screaming at me not to let her go.

Her being here is a sign. It’s the one last chance I have to fix things with her, and I don’t intend on wasting it.

When I catch up to her, I step in front of her, careful not to touch her. She lets out an angry growl but stops.

“Seriously, Matt. Why won’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because I can’t.” The words flow out of me, and I loosen the tight hold I have on my desire for her. I let every bit of it free, and she sees it. Her eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. All I want to do is swoop her into my arms and kiss her, lick her, taste her.

I slowly step closer, my eyes glued to hers. With every step I take forward, she takes one backward until her back rests against the wall of the building behind us. “I’ve made that mistake way too many times in the past. I’m not making it again now.”

“It’s not up to you anymore.” Her voice is low and heady. Her chest rises and falls quickly. And her eyes give me a different answer than her words. No matter what she says, she still wants me.

I take a step closer. Our bodies are like magnets, pulling us closer and closer together until we’re almost flush. Her breath brushes against my neck. I lightly run my fingertips down her arm, and she trembles under my touch. I shift my gaze to her mouth, and she licks her bottom lip eliciting a growl from me. All I can think about right now is pressing my mouth to hers and sucking her plump bottom lip between my teeth and nibbling on her.

Her hand rests on my chest, and I expect her to push me away. I’m prepared to give her more space if that’s what she needs, but I can’t walk away from her. Not again.

But she surprises me. Instead, she fists my shirt and gently tugs me closer. It would be so easy to kiss her right now. And I really want to. I stare at her mouth as I slowly inch closer and closer to her.

Then a car door slams shut somewhere nearby, and I jerk back. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

I step away, putting distance between us, and run my fingers through my hair. She slumps against the wall and drops her head. I can’t be sure, but I think I hear a sob escape her. Her shoulders shake and she covers her face.

I can’t stand seeing her like this. And I hate it even more that I’m completely to blame. I can’t fix this, no matter how much I want to. But there is one thing I can do to make this better.

“I’ll vacate the house. Emmie and I will stay at Momma’s until you decide what you’re going to do. All I ask is that you allow me to continue using the barn for my clinic. I can’t exactly move my business somewhere else on such short notice.”

I don’t wait for her to answer. I head to my truck to go home where I have an even harder conversation waiting for me.