Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

MATTHEW

I stare at my phone for far too long before I finally open my contacts and pull up Jessica’s number. Momma all but begged me to invite her to Sunday dinner and so far, I’ve put it off. I haven’t talked to her in almost a week. She disappeared after my drunken night, and she hasn’t been back to the house. I don’t even know where she’s staying.

My finger hovers over the call button, hesitant to talk to her after the way we left things between us. I begged her for another chance. Her disappearance is all the answer I need. Calling her to invite her to a dinner I’m sure she’ll say no to feels a little too much like desperation.

But I promised my momma I’d do it, so I hit that button and hold my breath.

After the fourth ring, I start to hang up, but then her voice comes over the line. “Hi, Matt.”

The way she says my name suggests she’s not exactly happy to hear from me. I swallow hard and press on. “Hey. Umm, I just wanted to call and ask you to join me and my family for Sunday dinner.”

She’s silent for a few minutes, then sighs. “Did your mom ask you to call me?”

“Yes,” I answer, deciding honesty is best. “She said she invited you but you didn’t give her an answer. She asked me to follow up. So, I am. ”

I can hear the wheels spinning in her head even through the phone. Jessica always did overthink things, but this time I don’t blame her. I’d overthink any decision involving me, too. “It’s just dinner, Jess. I can pick you up or you can drive yourself.”

“Thanks, but,” her voice is shaky and unsure, “I think I’ll pass. Please tell your mom I appreciate the offer but tonight isn’t good for me.”

I nod like she can see me, but I just can’t seem to find the words. I knew she’d say no, but I’m consumed with disappointment anyway. I clear my throat and force myself to respond. “I understand. If you change your mind, dinner is at six.”

“Thanks. I better go.” I hate that she’s in such a hurry to get off the phone. A part of me had hoped she’d be glad I called but that’s clearly not the case.

“I miss you.” The words just spill out against my will.

I hear her suck in a breath. “Matt,” she pauses, “I miss you, too. But this is too … Shit, I don’t know. I just need more time.”

She hangs up before I can respond. I let out a deep sigh and shove my phone in my back pocket. I didn’t expect much from her right now, but I’d hoped she would at least talk to me.

I head downstairs to find Emmie so we can leave. Might as well get this day over with. She’s sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table drawing in one of her notebooks. “Come on, Emmie. Let’s head over to Grandma’s house.”

“Okay, Daddy.” She hops up, jumps into my arms, and wraps her little arms around my neck. The unconditional love I get from this little girl causes my chest to tighten. I just hope she still loves me this much after today. Once I tell her and my entire family the bad news, I’m afraid I’m going to break her heart, too.

By the time I pull up in front of Momma’s house, everyone else is already there. When I walk inside, I only find Momma and Camille finishing up dinner in the kitchen. “Where is everyone?” I ask .

“Hey, Matt.” Momma stops what she’s doing and gives me a hug. “On the back porch.” She looks behind me and frowns. “No Jessica?”

I shake my head. “She said she couldn’t make it but asked that I thank you for the invite.”

“That girl is too stubborn for her own good.” She turns back to the oven and grabs a mitt. “Do you mind telling everyone dinner is ready?”

I nod and head outside. Within minutes, the food is on the table, and everyone is sitting. I sigh at the empty seat to my right. Momma had held out hope that Jessica would come and set her a place. Seeing it empty is a reminder I don’t want right now. Despite how hard I tried to make things right with Jessica, I still managed to screw up.

I clear my throat and take a drink of my beer, another one of Joseph’s lagers. I might as well get this over with now. “I have something important to discuss tonight.”

The room falls silent, and every eye turns to me. I glance down at Emmie and she’s looking up at me with a hopeful gaze. Fuck, I hate myself for what I am about to do. “I’m really sorry, sweetheart, but I’ve gotta tell you something that’s not going to make you happy.”

Her face drops and tears immediately fill her eyes. “What is it, Daddy?”

“Remember how I said we were going to buy the house.” She nods and a few tears escape her eyes. “Well, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen now. We have to move.”

“But,” her lower lips trembles and her tears turn to waterworks, “You said it was ours forever.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I was wrong.”

“You … You lied!” She jumps up out of her seat and runs out of the room.

I stand to go after her, but Leann raises her hand and stops me. “I got her. She needs to cry it out for a bit. Let me calm her down.”

I nod and sit back down. The mix of emotions I see in my family only makes me feel worse. Momma looks like she’s about to cry. Adam looks like he wants to strangle me. Joseph looks at me like I’m a dumbass. Camille and Sam simply look confused like they don’t know how they should feel. I think I prefer their response over everyone else .

“But you can’t.” Momma is the first one to speak. “You and Jess belong together.”

“Unfortunately, you’re wrong. It’s past time I let her go. She deserves better.”

“Do not start with that bullshit again.” Adam points his finger at me. “Momma’s right. You two belong together.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do, Adam? She doesn’t want me.”

“Language, boys,” Momma scolds.

“You fight for her!” Adam slams his fist down on the table, causing everyone to flinch. He so rarely loses his temper, so when he does, it surprises us all. Camille rests her hand on his forearm, and he immediately calms. He closes his eyes and when he opens them again, he looks sad instead of angry. “What you two have is rare, and you’re both being stubborn.”

“I’m not being stubborn. Trust me, if she would have me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I threw everything out there for her, and she turned me down. She’ll never forgive me for the things I’ve done. I have to accept that and move on with my life.”

“But she said she forgave you. I hoped that meant you two could work this out.”

“When did you talk to Jess?”

“A couple days ago. She came by my office to discuss renovating some of the back rooms at The Wine Room into living space.”

I shake my head and groan. “Of course, she did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adam rears back like he’s offended.

“Nothing.” I wave him off. I don’t want to explain to my entire family how Jessica and I can’t seem to communicate. “You can tell her that’s not necessary. By the end of this week, I’ll be out of her house.” I glance over at Momma. “Assuming you’ll let Emmie and me stay here until I find a place to live.”

Momma reaches over and squeezes my arm. “Of course, you can stay here. But Matthew, what about the clinic and everything you built?”

“I’m gonna have to move it, too.” I take another sip of my beer and frown when my drink comes up empty. I really need more alcohol for this conversation. “I’ll probably buy some land and build. I’m in a better position than I was three years ago so I can afford it now.”

“I hear Old Man Tate is looking to sell some of his land,” Sam says. It took months after Joseph hired him as the ranch manager for him to be comfortable at our Sunday dinners. But now he’s just like one of the family.

Joseph punches him in the arm. “You’re not helping, man.”

“Ouch.” Sam rubs his arm. “Why did you do that?”

“Thanks, Sam. I’ll check that out.” When I look back at Momma her worry only deepens. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“But you’re my son. I’ll always worry about you.” The tears in her eyes break me. I reach out for her and pull her into a tight hug.

“Momma don’t cry. I know this looks bad now, but it’ll all work out. Emmie is young, and she’ll forgive me. But Jess, she’ll never find it in her heart to truly forgive me if I take her house. I don’t have a choice.”

She nods and leans back in her seat. She wipes her face dry but doesn’t look convinced that I’m right. I glance around the table, and everyone just stares at me like they don’t know what else to say. What is there to say? I fucked up with Jessica and can’t fix it. Time to move on.

“Listen, guys. I’m just trying to do the right thing. It’s not easy because I really don’t know what the right thing is. If you have a better suggestion, I’m all ears.”

The room remains silent. I glance at each person around the table, and no one offers any help. I open my mouth to speak, but Momma beats me to it.

“Only you can answer that, sweetie. We can’t tell you want to do. So, search your heart for the answer and do that.”

I nod and give Momma a weak smile. “Well, that’s what I did, and my heart tells me I can’t take her house. So, if you all can spare some time this week, I could really use some help moving.”

My brothers and Sam nod, but no one seems happy about it. Hell, I’m not happy about it. But it’s what I have to do.