Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

JESSICA

F or the hundredth time since leaving the vineyard, another person passing by looks at me like I’m death walking. I haven’t slept worth shit since Matthew came home drunk three nights ago. It didn’t help that I’ve been sleeping on the small sofa in my father’s office. I couldn’t stay in the house any longer. Not until I sort out my emotions. Being close to him scrambles my brain, and I need a clear head.

My uncomfortable sleeping arrangements combined with restless thoughts about Matthew weren’t exactly a recipe for a good night’s rest. No amount of makeup would cover the dark circles under my eyes, so I didn’t even bother. I guess I should have. Maybe then everyone would stop looking at me with cautious stares.

I’d been wandering the streets of Watercress Falls for about an hour now. I’ve walked up and down every sidewalk more than once and still can’t get the fight we had out of my head.

It was a stupid misunderstanding. We both lost our tempers and said things we didn’t mean. The hopeful romantic in me wants to run to him, throw myself in his arms, and say all is forgiven. But my rational, injured soul can’t quite let myself believe in us.

We’ve proven time and time again that we suck at communication. If we can’t communicate, then there’s no hope for a relationship. Right? We didn’t even make it a week before all our same problems surfaced and we were fighting. Maybe we should leave our love in the past. Tears prick my eyes at even thinking such a thing.

Tired of walking, I open the door to Sweet Cakes. The familiar ring of the bell announces my arrival.

I head to the counter, thankful a young woman I don’t know is manning the register. If Rachel were here, she’d ask me questions I’m not prepared to answer about my appearance. I order an espresso and strawberry Danish before opting for the open sofa over a table.

A few minutes later, the young girl calls my name and I get up to grab my order. I head back to the sofa and curl up in the corner, cupping my espresso in my hands. I let the steam from the top wash over my face. The heat feels good on my aching skin and relieves a bit of the tension from the puffiness under my eyes.

I take a sip and the bell rings again. When I look up, I’m greeted by Rosie’s smiling face and Emmie’s frowning face.

“Well, lucky us running into you here.” Rosie’s upbeat tone gives no indication she sees the sadness in my expression or the dark circles under my eyes. “I need to talk to Mrs. Kerns for a few minutes. Do you mind if Emmie sits with you?”

“Not at all. I’d love the company.” I rotate so I’m sitting up on the sofa and pat the empty space beside. Emmie doesn’t exactly look thrilled with the idea, so I add, “That is if she wants to sit with me.”

Emmie shrugs and takes the seat. “I guess.”

Her voice doesn’t sound very convincing, but Rosie doesn’t seem to notice. Or if she does, she’s choosing to ignore it. “Great. I shouldn’t be too long. We just have to work out the details for this year’s baking contest.”

Rosie leaves us, and I watch Emmie carefully. She’s not her normal bubbly self, and she refuses to look at me. “Do you want something to eat or drink? Maybe a hot cocoa?”

She shakes her head and drops back on the sofa.

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

She shakes her head again and follows that up with crossing her arms over her chest and sticking out her bottom lip. She’s definitely upset about something and from the way she’s acting, I’m thinking it has something to do with me .

I lean back into the sofa, copying her position. “All right, kiddo. Spill it.”

She looks up at me with a scowl that makes her look so much like her daddy it takes my breath away. “You left without saying goodbye.”

Her words are harsh, and even worse, true. I close my eyes and let my shoulders sag. I left so quickly that day, and I gave no consideration to how that would make anyone feel, not even Matthew. In retrospect, I should’ve taken the time to speak to those I care about.

“I’m sorry, Emmie. I had to leave quickly for work, but that’s no excuse. I should’ve talked to you before I left. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

Her expression softens and her eyes gloss over. “You promised to take me riding, too. You never did.”

I cringe at the sadness in her voice. As much as I dislike seeing that scowl, I prefer it over seeing her hurt like this. “You’re right. I did. I’m a bad friend, and I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t like me anymore.” Her tears escape and her shoulders shake.

I pull her into my arms and hug her close. I can’t stand to see her upset like this, and hate that my sudden departure made her feel unwanted in any way. “No, no. I think you’re awesome, Emmie. Why would you even think such a thing?”

Slowly, her shoulders still, and she lifts her eyes to mine. “You and Daddy had a fight. You’re going to leave, aren’t you?”

“Oh, sweetheart. Sometimes adults fight, but that has nothing to do with you.”

“Can you fix it?”

I tighten my hold around her. This girl is way too perceptive. I can’t imagine Matthew would talk in front of his daughter about what happened between us. “I wish I knew the answer to that one. But whatever happens between me and your dad, it won’t affect the two of us. We can always be friends.”

She nods but doesn’t look convinced. “But Daddy’s really sad now. I think he misses you.”

Her words bring tears to my own eyes, forcing me to look away. I hate that the issues between Matthew and me are impacting her. I don’t know how to respond to her to make her feel better about the situation, so I opt with being honest about my feelings instead. “I’m sad, too.”

She shrugs and gives me a small smile. “Then you should fix it.”

Her simplistic outlook makes me smile. If only it were that easy. “I’ll give that some thought. In the meantime, you know what would make me happy?”

She shakes her head.

“I brought my horse back with me, and she needs exercise. Will you go riding with me next week?”

She sits up and bounces in her seat. “Really?”

“Yep, we can go on Monday if your daddy says it’s okay.”

“He will. Yes, yes, yes! ” She claps her hands before she throws herself into my arms and gives me a bear hug.

“Well, it's about time both you girls smiled.” I look up to find Rosie standing next to us with a big grin on her face.

Emmie jumps up and hugs her grandma. “Jessica is going to take me riding on her horse on Monday if Daddy says it’s okay.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea. You girls could use some bonding time.” Rosie gives me a sympathetic nod of approval. She knows how hard this has been for me. “We’ll let you get back to your day. Plus, we have more errands to run. If you’re free, I’d love to see you for Sunday dinner.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the offer.” She gives me a closed lip smile and nods. I can tell from the look in her eyes that she interpreted my answer as a no. She’s not wrong. Until Matthew and I work this out— if we work this out—there’s no way I can handle dinner with him and his family.

“Well, all right then,” she sighs. “We’ll see you later.”

We say our goodbyes, and I lean back into the corner of the sofa as they walk out the door. This isn’t at all how I imagined feeling when I made the decision to move back home. Three weeks ago I thought everything was finally working out the way I’d always dreamed it would. Now I feel like my life is in a worse place than it’s ever been.

Maybe moving back to Watercress Falls is a mistake.

Adam stares at me through narrow eyes as I sit down in the chair opposite his desk. It’s not the same concerned or fearful look I’ve been getting from everyone else. His gaze is filled with disappointment, maybe even disapproval.

I look away, no longer able to take the expression on his face. He sighs, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him lean forward and rest his elbows on his desk. “You’re really going to go through with this?”

I nod. “I can’t stay there.”

“Maybe you should give—”

I snap my head in his direction, fighting back the tears. “No. I’ve given this more consideration than I should have. I need my own space.”

He tosses his hands in the air. “All right. I can get started as soon as you're ready.”

“I’m ready. The rooms to be renovated have already been cleared out. I’d appreciate it if you could get the bedroom done first so I don’t have to keep sleeping on the sofa.”

“That’s easy enough. Shouldn’t take but a few days to put down new flooring and paint. I can start tomorrow if that works.”

“Perfect.” I stand and turn toward the door, but I don’t make it two steps before he speaks again.

“Jessica. Can I say one last thing before you leave?”

I stop and drop my head. The last thing I want is more advice on how I should be handling my relationship with Matthew, but I turn around anyway. I actually want to know what Adam has to say.

“He’s not going to take your house from you.”

I snort. “Yes, he will. Emmie’s too important to him. He’ll do what’s best for her no matter how it impacts me.”

He stands and walks around his desk. He gently rests his hands on my shoulders and leans down until his eyes are level with mine. “That’s where you’re wrong. While he will always take Emmie’s best interest to heart, he won’t hurt others to keep her happy. Especially not you.”

“His past actions prove otherwise. ”

“Stop living in the past.” His words are firm and force my back to straighten. “When are you going to forgive him for that?”

Anger shoots through me. “I did forgive him, just like you said. Fat lot of good that did me.”

“Bullshit. You may have said the words. But up here,” he thumps the side of my head with his finger, “You haven’t forgiven anything. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be letting a little miscommunication interfere with your relationship.”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“The hell I don’t.” I retract even more at his harsh tone. Adam has always been gentle with me, and his sudden disciplinary tone is a surprise. If he’s trying to get my attention, it’s working. “I probably know you and my brother better than anyone else. You’re being a stubborn, temperamental fool. You’re more than earning your nickname right now. You’re letting your anger make all your decisions and he’s reverting into the recesses of his self-doubt. You both need to get your heads out of your asses and talk.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is.” He sighs in frustration and steps back. He runs his fingers through his hair before he relaxes. “Listen. You have every right to be upset and protect your heart. But so does he. There’s two sides to every relationship, and intentional or not, you’ve both done your fair share of hurting the other.”

I open my mouth to respond but shut it. He’s right. I can’t exactly place all the blame on Matthew. My decisions and actions have hurt him just as his hurt me. My resolve starts to weaken, but then I shake myself out of it. “No. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. All we ever do is end up fighting again. I need to protect myself and my heart from further pain.”

I turn around and leave before he can say anything else. But I don’t make it out before I hear him yell, “Every couple fights, Jessie Cat.”

I ignore him and keep going. I can’t do what he’s asking of me. Protecting my heart is my number one priority right now. Until I overcome the current pain attacking it, I can’t risk introducing more.

I swat at my head again, but the annoying fly landing on my forehead won’t let me sleep. I finally roll over on the couch and pull the blanket up over my face.

After leaving Adam’s office I came straight back to The Wine Room and crashed on the couch. I don’t know how long I’ve slept, but it was a hard, deep sleep accompanied by zero dreams about Matthew.

Something hits my head in three light taps. I toss the blanket down and kick my legs straight. “What the hell?”

When I open my eyes, Gracie and Leann are standing over me.

“Hey beautiful.” Gracie smiles.

“Why are you here?” I growl. The last thing I want right now is company. I’m too exhausted for more conversation. All I want to do is sleep.

“Because you need friends right now.” Gracie grabs my hands and pulls me up to a standing position. “Plus, Adam called and said we better get over here before you do something really stupid like run back to Seattle.”

I roll my eyes and shake off her hands. As soon as I’m free, I grab my blanket and curl back underneath it.

“Oh, no you don’t.” This time it’s Leann that pulls the blanket off me. “We don’t have to talk about my stupid brother or your problems, but we’re having a girl’s night whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t want to go out,” I whine.

“We don’t have to.” Gracie shrugs. “We can stay right here and drink all your wine. I even brought my laptop and projector so we can watch sappy rom coms.”

I raise a brow at Gracie. “A projector?”

“Yep. We got it a while ago so we could watch movies outside during summer months. It’s cool. We can project the movie on the white wall opposite your couch.”

“Really?’ I frown. “That sounds cool. Have you been doing that long?”

She shrugs. “Three or four years now. So what do you say? Girls’ night?”

“Fine.” I stomp my way over to the mini fridge and grab a bottle of water. “Did you bring food, too? I smell food. ”

Leann holds up a bag of Chinese takeout and smiles. “We’re not stupid.”

“In that case, I’ll forgive you for waking me up.” I take a drink of my water before I sit it on the desk. “You get set up. I’ll go get the wine.”

“That’s my girl!” Gracie calls as I walk out to the cellar.

By the time I make it back to the cramped office, the food is laid out across the desk, the couch has been moved to the back wall, and my blanket is spread out in front of it. The opening credits to Sweet Home Alabama are projecting onto the white wall opposite the desk.

“Just in time.” Gracie takes one of the wine bottles I grabbed and uncorks it while I sit the glasses on the desk. “You grabbed my favorite.”

“I also grabbed the white that Leann likes, but it needs to chill.” I put it in the mini fridge. When I turn around, Gracie shoves a full wine glass in my face.

“Thanks,” I say, and take a sip. Gracie and Leann both pile Chinese food on their plates and take seats on the blanket. I’m too busy staring at the movie currently projecting onto my wall. “Do we have to watch this one?”

“Yes,” they both call out in unison.

I groan and grab my own plate of food. I’m not sure if I’m ready to lose myself in a movie about childhood sweethearts reuniting, fighting, and falling in love all over again. It hits a little too close to my own story with Matthew. Minus the marriage and child with another woman. Then again, the heroine almost married someone else.

Gracie smiles at me and pats the space between her and Leann. They both seem oblivious to the movie's correlation to my own situation. I smile in return and join them on the blanket.

True to their word, they never once bring up Matthew or my current living situation. We watch two movies, eat too much food, and drink too much wine. It’s exactly the kind of girl’s night I need to relax and take my mind off my problems. If only the morning would take an eternity to arrive so I can hibernate in this moment of almost-normalcy for a little while longer.