Chapter 85

Chapter 85

Natalie

There was a strange kind of timelessness about the bathroom. The frosted windows didn't show the brightness of the sun or the lengthening shadows. Instead the soft grey light softened as the water grew colder. I didn't want to move, didn't want to think, breathe, do anything but just exist, like a lichen or moss or something, but then Thorn reached forward to turn the hot tap on again. Warm water washed over our legs and that had me sinking lower in the bath.

"Remember when we used to do this all the time?" My voice was croaky, rusty, as if I'd lost the art of speaking to one of the men that owned my heart. "Lars would grumble about the smell, especially when you put two bath bombs in at the same time."

"Hey, if you liked one, I figured you'd love two."

"Citrus and patchouli based scents do not go well together." I chuckled, remembering the stink.

"I would like the record to show that I used no hippy stink bath bombs and made sure to mix scents that work together."

"Matching lavender with lavender?" I raised a hand, seeing the little dried flowers run along my palm. "An inspired choice."

"Go easy on me," he said, then pressed a kiss to my neck. Part of me stiffened, bracing myself for the way a bath used to end, but it was gentle, with no expectations of anything more. "But if you like this, I'll sit down with the stinky bath bomb people and create a list of compatible scents."

He would too. Thorn could be really annoying, but he was also like a dog with a bone. I could just imagine him peppering the poor shop assistant with questions until she was ready to just shove stock his way to make him go away.

"It could be like this every day, if you wanted," he continued.

Right then, he was like some devil bartering for my immortal soul, not my lover, and as if in counterpoint to his claim, the twin wails of the babies rang out.

"Yeah, right." I went to move, but his arms locked around my waist, stopping me from rising. "Thorn. Thorn, I have to?—"

"Stay right here," he insisted.

"I haven't pumped." All the lassitude of before was disintegrating by the second. "The babies need feeding and I…" To my horror I felt my let down start. "I'm leaking into the water, Thorn. Thorn?"

"So." I turned around to face him and milk dropped onto his chest, but he didn't seem to care. Those brown eyes held mine, not looking away for a second. "So, this is you now. Your body is working damn hard to feed my kids and I'm not gonna get squicked out by a little bit of milk. Don't they put goat's milk in baths anyway?"

"Yes, but?—"

"If goat's is good, Nat's is no doubt better." He turned me back around and settled me against his chest, right as the door swung open.

"Sorry, but the babies—" Alaric said, appearing a little wild eyed with both children in his arms.

"It's OK. Strip them off and pass them down here," Thorn said.

"What?"

I asked that question, but they ignored me, going to work to settle each child into my arms. I felt tense, out of control and weird, my eyes flicking over each child, making sure their heads were above water, right as Thorn settled back behind me. His arms moved up, cradling the children's heads as they began to feed.

I never would've thought it possible, but this was… relaxing. The babies' eyes fell closed almost immediately, their contented little sounds becoming my whole world. The sweet smelling steam seemed to swallow us all up, allowing me to relax by increments.

"That was… not a horrible idea," I said finally, looking up to see Alaric watching everything with his eyes wide. His smile was shaky, his eyes wide and staring as they flicked up to meet my gaze.

"It's supposed to be relaxing for some mothers," he said, almost embarrassed by the idea. "Obviously we need to be careful."

"Obviously," I replied with a grin.

"But…" He searched my face, needing something from me and before now that was a hard look to deal with. I couldn't let myself be that vulnerable, that open, not until now. Damn them. The sleuth had dismantled every single one of my barriers when I first met them, I just didn't think it would be like this. That right when I wanted to feel my most competent, he'd see past all the pretence and see what was.

You're doing amazingly.

I gasped when I heard his voice inside my head. I'd kept them all out psychically since the birth. Part of me needed to protect them from the feelings that seemed to rise up the minute the kids were born, the overwhelming waves of fear that threatened to drown me.

Damn straight. Look at those little guys relaxing. Thorn's voice was a soft brush inside my mind, right before it got a bit more panicky. To relaxed by the look of it. Dammit, Kai!

A small cloud of yellowish urine started to form in the bath, forcing me to snort and so did the guys as I clambered out of the bath with Sven. Thorn held Kai and nodded to him.

"Just let it all out, buddy," he told his son, nodding to the baby in encouragement. It was totally gross, but hey, once a bit of pee got in the bathwater, there was no going back. Of course Kai had to double down, his little legs pulling up in a familiar way.

"No," Thorn yelped, leaping out of the bath, then sprinting down the hall. "Hold it in, son. Hold it in!"

I expected him to take Kai down to the change table, but instead he stood awkwardly over the toilet in time for Kai to do what he needed to.

"That's called elimination communication." We spun around to find Meryl standing there with a towel in hand. I gratefully accepted it, wrapping myself up. "People are trying it now. Apparently the idea of nappies is a relatively new thing. Cultures around the world look for cues their child needs to go to the toilet and they take them to do that in the same place adults do."

"Mum, I will literally pay you not to talk to me about hippy bullshit while I'm dripping wet and naked," Thorn grumped. "Name your price."

"Just came up to tell you dinner's on the table," Meryl said with an impish smile, turning around and going back downstairs.