11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jayce

That was weird. I figured that Aydan was going to find me and tell me to get off his den lands or at least kick me out of the house. Instead, he was at his brother's… why? Was it to find me or maybe to ask his brother for advice? I wasn't sure which, but neither were what I'd expected.

But that was the thing with Adyan, wasn't it. He had a way of surprising me at every corner.

And fuck me if I didn't see him and instantly want to run into his arms, even if he had just been to lunch with another guy and even if he'd been a complete ass to me in front of everyone and even if he had another omega with him.

His brother told me that Finnegan wasn't his love match but didn't go so far as to say they weren't together, and I hated that. My stupid nose was still a mess, so maybe he came covered in his scent every time. Or worse—maybe he'd been drenched in the omega's scent while we banged it out.

Gods, I was so embarrassed, but also ready to make the same mistake again and again. What was freaking wrong with me? Why was I like this?

I walked back to Aydan's, not because I wanted to go spend time with him, though I did. But I'd been disrespectful to him in front of others, and as well-deserved as that was, I refused to do it to him again… not today, anyway. So, if he wanted to talk to me, I was going to give him that.

We didn't speak on the way back and I wasn't exactly sure why. We weren't walking where others would be. We could speak freely with ease. Except we didn't. Instead, we walked side by side, my hand switching to reach for his.

Things would be so much easier if he were my mate. There was no denying the electricity between us. As pissed as I was when I marched out of the diner, if he'd followed me out and kissed me, I'd have kissed him back… and liked it. I was pulled toward him in a way that was going to tear my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Freaking fate was cruel. To give me someone who felt like they were mine in so many ways, only to shout, "Just kidding!" They were on my shit list.

I walked through the back door and forced myself to stop. If I had my way, I'd be rushing up to my room and closing the door. I couldn't imagine him saying anything that I wanted to hear and getting more upset wasn't in my plans for the day… or ever.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"To say I was wrong."

"You already said that, why are we back here?" I took a step closer to him. I wasn't trying to be flirty, but it must've come across that way because he took a step closer, too, his bear pretty close to the surface.

"Yeah, but…" He reached behind me, and when he pulled back, he had a vase of wildflowers. "I picked these for you."

I took them, trying to absorb what was happening.

"Are you trying to give me whiplash?"

Adyan glanced at me in confusion.

"One minute I think you like me and another I think you hate me. It's so hard to keep track of." I couldn't meet his eyes. Letting him see how vulnerable he made me was hard enough without witnessing his pity.

"That's not it. I like you. I like you a lot, but also, we aren't mates and I have responsibilities. This can never be more than it is."

Fuck. He sounded as disappointed by that as I was.

"More than avoiding each other or more than banging?" Crass? Maybe. But also honest.

"It's not like that."

This time I did look him straight in the eye. If he was going to play that game, I was going to make him see what he was doing to me. Only when I looked into his orbs, I didn't see a player or a dick. No. I saw Aydan being just as vulnerable as I was.

"Your responsibilities mean you can't be with me. But you can be with someone." Finnegan, but bringing him up felt like a jealous boyfriend thing to do. And besides, he knew who I meant. It wasn't a huge-ass secret around here.

"Yeah." He closed his eyes. "The den comes first."

I closed the short distance between us and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I understand."

It wasn't a lie. I did, and it sucked.

He hugged me back, and I ignored the hardness growing between us, both his and mine. What a pair we were, both of us wanting what we couldn't have.

I wanted to tell him that I could be his Finnegan, that I could somehow be the political move he needed. But it would be a lie. I was a floater who needed a den, not part of a family with power. For a second, I considered telling him it was fine and I didn't mind. That too would be a lie. It wasn't fine and I very much did mind. In the end I said, "I'll take it."

"Take what?" He pulled back.

"Take what you can give… this. I know it won't be forever." Or even semi long-term. "And I'm fine with that." If fine meant I was handing him my heart to stomp on.

"Are you sure?" He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into it.

"It is what it is." And before he could say anything else, I sealed my lips with his, kissing him with all the passion I felt. Would I regret this? Absolutely, but I'd regret not doing it even more.

"Take me to bed, Alpha. Show me how much you want me."

I gasped as Aydan swept me off my feet, his strong arms cradling me against his chest, the one covered in far too much cloth. I wanted our skin to be pressed together. Stupid clothing.

My skin tingled in the few places where our skin did touch, electricity crackling between us. I'd never felt this kind of connection with anyone. It was something I only expected to find with a true mate. But that wasn't in the cards, and if this was all we could have, I wasn't going to turn it down.

He carried me to the bedroom, not stopping for even a second. He wanted this too. Gods, I wished my nose worked and I could scent his need.

"I need you," I breathed, running my hands over his shoulders, wishing I could place my mark there. But alas, that would never be.

"I need you too," Aydan growled, more bear than human, his voice thick and husky.

Once we crossed into his bedroom, he set me down, and I hated not having his arms around me any longer. But more than that, I hated how dressed we were.

Our hands frantically roamed, tearing at clothes, desperate to feel skin on skin. Buttons popped and fabric ripped as we stripped ourselves and each other bare. There was nothing romantic or methodical about what we were doing. It was the opposite of Aydan in that way, and I fucking loved it.

My breath caught as he paused to gaze down at me, his eyes roving hungrily over my exposed body. "You're so perfect."

Far from it, but when he licked his lips, I forgot to sass him about it, my mind instantly focusing on what those lips… that mouth, could do.

I pulled him in for a searing kiss. This wasn't time for a conversation. Our tongues tangled as passion consumed us. All thoughts fled my mind except for Aydan—his taste, his touch, the press of his body against mine. Nothing else mattered in that moment but losing myself in him completely.

Aydan's hands slid down my body, stroking and kneading me as I arched into his touch. He guided me to sit on the edge of the bed as his mouth trailed lower, leaving a blazing trail of kisses down my neck and chest… heading lower and lower.

I felt him smile against my skin just before he took my hardness in his warm mouth. There was no preamble, no teasing, he just went for it, and it was the hottest thing I'd ever felt.

"Oh gods." I moaned and arched my hips upward. Aydan's tongue swirled around my tip, teasing and tormenting me before taking me into his mouth again. He knew exactly what it took to drive me to the brink of orgasm.

His warm, wet mouth engulfed me whole, and I thought I'd explode on the spot. White-hot pleasure coursed through my veins, straight to my core, and my toes curled in response. It shouldn't feel this good. How could someone live a productive life knowing this was what waited for them in the bedroom?

"Aydan," I panted, "I'm... I'm close." I wasn't ready for it to be over. I still hadn't so much as grazed his cock with my hand.

He pulled back, his eyes locking with mine. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I gasped out, my breathing ragged. "I... I can't... I need..."

Aydan smirked, understanding dawning in his eyes. "Tease," he muttered playfully before diving back in with renewed fervor. This time, I felt his fingers teasing my entrance, rimming my opening, and dipping inside just enough to send me over the edge.

"Fuck," I cursed, my hips bucking as I came hard in Aydan's mouth, my cum shooting onto his waiting tongue and down the back of his throat. He lapped me clean, his eyes never leaving mine.

Every time I thought this couldn't get hotter, it did.

"That... that was..." I panted, trying to catch my breath.

Aydan's grin was smug as he crawled back up to join me on the bed. "Told you I was good at this."

He hadn't, but I wasn't going to correct him. I couldn't even form a sentence if I tried, because if I could, I might say something stupid, something like, "I want to keep you" or "Alpha mine," and I'd ruin everything.