18. Chapter 18

Kendra

I sit by Grihul's bed as he remains sleeping in the bed. At least he isn't dead. There are cables hooked up to him with the monitor blinking with numbers. Everything with him is seemingly fine.

I let out a sigh. Maybe...

Someone knocks at the door. I look over there. It doesn't take long before the door opens and in comes... my boss.

I stand to greet him. He has a deep frown, which... Did I do something wrong? I didn't run around looking for trouble, though. That alleyway is where a lot of beings go through to get to the parking lot. Even then, those beings attacked us. Grihul and I were just trying to protect ourselves.

He waves for me to come out of the room. Maybe it is something Grihul shouldn't know. I glance at Grihul. He is still unconscious. I suppose I don't have to sit right by his side, and he will be fine, regardless.

Outside the room, another colleague is there too. We worked together on the robbery case, which was the one that led me to know Grihul.

We're in the central security building, so the three of us are the only ones in the corridor. Regardless, we go into a nearby room. There's an empty bed, the lights aren't even on. Captain has no plan on turning the lights on either.

My colleague closes the door behind us. It is dark and I don't like it, but... I guess I have to remain here.

The captain clears his throat. "Look, I've been wanting to talk to you."

Oh, fuck... Now, I'm getting fired even though I did nothing wrong...

He continues, "Took me a bit to make sure we have everything straight before letting you know. We should have involved you, but with what happened, we weren't sure whether you could focus on it. Not to mention we already had your statement, so we didn't feel the need to interrupt your examination with the doctors."

So... What is he trying to say? That after my statement and everything, I'm so not fit as police?

He says, "We checked the one badly injured on the floor. He is one of the ones involved in the bank robbery. We think that the attack may be specific to you, or those of us who are involved in the case."

"So... A retaliation."

"Yes, but I'd say you managed to fend for yourself pretty well."

I sigh. "I only wish Grihul wasn't involved in that. He was... innocent, even more innocent than me."

"Well, I'd say he has potential."

I lift my brows even though he may not see it in the dark. "Because he is a bigger guy?"

"In part. He is brave, too."

Maybe they think Grihul is even better suited for the job than me, even though I've been around for quite some time. I shrug. "So... Is he going to be fine? I think the one he hit on the face is dead."

"He'll be fine. It is a very clear case of self-defense. He'll have to go through the process, but he won't be charged for anything. When he wakes up, we'll get his statement, and that's probably all there is."

"Is he going to have to stay here for a bit longer?"

The captain shrugs. "It'll depend on the procedure and how fast the departments can go through the cases before they get to his. The snowstorm has caused a slowdown in things when no one could get to work for a day. But we don't think it will take long."

Now I remember how Grihul hit the guy in the face again. I shiver at the force Grihul must have used. I know he's never going to hit me like that, but it is still scary to know that a big being like him is capable of that.

The captain and the others probably can do that too, including the criminals who are out there hurting other beings.

Maybe... I'm really not that suitable for the job.

The captain says, "Take a rest. I'd advise you not to go outside on your own until we clear what—"

"Why? Because I won't be able to protect myself? Because I'm such a tiny being that I'm just going to be dead and that I have to—"

He lifts his hand between us. "Look, we need you to control yourself better than this."

I swallow and try to calm myself, but I hate this. They didn't let me help Grihul to the spaceship, and now they don't want me to step out of the building or even be on the street on my own...

He continues, "We are arranging mutual help for everyone until we're certain that the threat is over, so it's not just you."

"Did you tell everyone on the team not to go out on their own?"

"Yes, I did. You're the last one I'm talking to."

I grit my teeth. Maybe that's a bit fairer, but I still don't like that. "It feels like we have to walk on thin ice because of dumb criminals."

"That's a gang."

"I know, it still... Fine, I understand. I'll stay here."

The captain nods. "That's the smart move. I'll leave you to accompany Grihul. From the doctors, he is fine."

"Yeah, that's what they said. The healing ray worked great on him, and he should be fine very soon. I hope he wakes up soon."

"Let him know our gratitude... for his help in fighting crime."

I nod. Maybe he meant to say to thank Grihul for helping me, but... "Let me know if you need me."

"Sure."

I head out of the room, going back to Grihul's room. Am I too sensitive to think that they just hate smaller beings like me?

Grihul is still on the bed, I head to his bedside when something touches my thigh. I almost jump, but it turns out to be a corner of the blanket.

He is up and he blinks at me. "Oh... What's wrong?" He waves to me. "I'm just trying to test my hands." Maybe he moved the blanket and it touched me, which I wasn't expecting.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're up. How are you feeling?"

"Good." He lifts his arms... his... three arms but the injured one. That one is still on the bed, not moving. I thought the doctor said he was fine.

"Grihul... That arm on the bed..." Is that arm broken beyond repair?

"Oh, that one? It is hooked up with all the cables, so I think I shouldn't move it." He wriggles his fingers on that hand. I let out a breath, almost suffocating myself earlier.

I smack his good shoulder. "You are such a crazy one. I almost thought that arm was done."

He chuckles. "Come on, I told you I'm fine. The doctor said I have enough soft tissue to take the blow without my bones breaking." He flexes his arms as if he is so strong that blocking the hit with his body is a smart idea.

"Yeah, fat is soft tissue."

"Ha!" He rolls his eyes. "Where do you even see fat in these arms?"

"All I see is a dumb kot'oll trying to act smart."

He huffs. "Seriously?"

I take a seat on the chair by his bed. "Yeah, you're so dumb that you'd stay and fight with me instead of running for your life."

"What are you even talking about? I'm not running anywhere before I make sure you're safe. I'm the male."

"Yeah, sounds like those who keep saying that I'm a small being."

He winks. "Tere's a time and place for being the smaller beings."

"Like?"

He wriggles all his fingers. "When you're in for a good time, or let me carry you around."

I sigh. "So... I think you agree that a being like me is just not the material to be police."

He blinks, seemingly trying to come up with the right words.

I clear my throat. "Just be honest with me. I won't be mad."

He reaches for my hand. I put mine in his hand to make it easier for him. He says, "I know you're passionate about that."

"But it doesn't mean I'll do a great job."

"You've been working hard."

"But that's not enough. I'm still... There are still things I'd never overcome despite how hard I try."

He rubs the back of my hand. "But there have to be things you can do better than everyone."

"What's that?"

He swallows and blinks. "Um... Something? We barely met, so... But I think you can figure it out. I believe in you."

"You know what? I was hoping I could protect you in the fight when I'm the one who is trained for combat and issues, but turned out... you were just better at that."

He lets out a soft sigh. "If I were that good, I wouldn't be here on the bed. I tried my best. What did the doctor say about you?"

"I'm fine. They checked me and that's all. The police are coming to get a statement from you soon."

He sucks in an abrupt breath. "Am I getting into trouble?"

"No. Your case is a clean self-defense case. You may have to stay for another day or two, in case the procedure takes longer because of the delay with the snowstorm. But it won't even leave a mark on your record, don't worry about that."

He lets out a breath. "Okay. Is he dead?"

I nod. "Yes. He was certified to be dead shortly after arriving at the hospital. You smacked him hard and he landed on the ground ugly."

"I..." He lifts his two lower hands. "I killed someone."

"You saved me and yourself."

He remains staring at his hands. "But... I know you're right, but it doesn't feel right."

I hold both of his hands, at least he isn't staring at all four hands, I can't hold all of them.

He grabs my hand. I wince. He is holding onto me a bit so strongly that it almost hurts. "Oh, sorry." He shudders and lets go of me. "It's just... scary." He gestures swinging a bat. "Like this, and he is gone. He or the others attacking us could have pulled something similar and we'd be dead."

My heartbeat spikes as he keeps going. He is very right. If I were alone and got caught by those three, I'd probably be dead. I shiver. "At least we were there together. You saved me."

"Do you know what happened? Or do I have to wait until I give my statement first? Or am I ever going to know what happened?"

I suppose... I can tell him. The file isn't classified anyway. A few searches on news sites will give him an answer, so there's no reason to hide things from him.

I say, "We think that it's retaliation to the police as a whole from a gang. So... Technically, if you weren't with me, you wouldn't get hurt." My stomach sinks as I see his beaten-up arm. "I'm so sorry about that."

"Are you sure about that?"

"The retaliation? Kind of. Or just plain ol' gang activity. The city has a pretty low crime rate, but those beings still exist and come out from time to time."

"I just want to make sure everyone's fine and you're safe." He swallows. "I know I'm not in the position to ask this and I don't want you to think that I look down on you. But... I worry about you and don't want to even think about you getting hurt."

I lift my brows at him. I'm perfectly fine and a few gangsters won't scare me. But... he was the one getting injured, maybe he is scared and doesn't want the same to happen to me. "Look, I'm good and—"

He squeezes my hand. "Come to my city. We're safe there."

I roll my eyes. "That's just because you don't have to deal with criminals. We know bad beings exist on every planet."

He pauses with his hand still on mine. "I suppose you're not wrong. My brother is police, but he is in the traffic management department. I suppose it is dangerous for him too."

"And you never worried about him?"

"No way! I worry about him. But that's what he wants to do, so... I know you want to be police too. Maybe I'm stumbling. I'm sorry."

I let out a breath. "I don't mind. Though, I don't know what else I can be doing."

He blinks. "Does that mean you've thought about switching jobs?"

"I... I hate to admit defeat, especially when I've fought so hard to get to where I am. But... Look, after you got injured, I couldn't even help to move you over to the spaceship because I just didn't have the strength and would never have it because of my species."

He frowns with care in his eyes. I sniff and rub tears from my eyes. "I'm so useless. I can crack cases when the clues are in front of me, but when it comes to anything in the front line, I just... Maybe it's time to admit that I'm not good at that at all."

He hisses. "But they still make you do front line job all the time, pretty much exposing you to danger every day; even more danger than other police have to be under."

"Well... I ask all the time and make sure I'm on the roster. Maybe... Maybe I'm the dumb one."

"Somehow, you remain hired."

A wry smile finds its way onto my face. He continues, "And your boss let you insert yourself onto the roster."

"Hey, in my defense, if I have the right equipment, I fulfill the requirements."

"Then... I guess they can't fire you unless you do something wrong."

"Yeah... And... I'm pretty good at my job and I've never done wrong as determined by our policies and law."

"Good." he lets out a breath. "It's just that, maybe it's time for you to just do what you're good at."

"What do you have in your mind?" I wonder... Do I even listen to a guy who has never done something remotely close to what I've been doing?

He has been driving spaceships.

Not to be disrespectful, but driving around is almost the easiest thing an adult can do, so... He can be enjoying his job and has been wanting to do that, but still, driving is a lot simpler than my job.

He says, "A private detective? Or a consultant of some kind? There has to be work out there which beings need someone smart to help, but the cases aren't life or death."

Um... I have no idea. I've never thought about that before. It sounds like something I can try. But...

I say, "I'll have to get out of this job if that's the case."

"Or you can work in the office."

I shake my head. "It's not like that here. The team isn't separated like that."

"Oh... Maybe you should take your time. It's going to be a major shift."

He covers his mouth as he yawns. "I'm sorry. I'm tired, it has nothing to do with our conversation. You know that I enjoy spending time with you." There's a faint blush on his cheeks, which makes my heart pound.

"Take a rest. You need all the rest to become healthy again."

He nods, but his eyes narrow into thin lines. He murmurs something, fighting to open his eyes. Cute won't be the most suitable word to describe a big adult kot'oll, but that's all I have in mind.

I say, "Just sleep, we can talk later."

He seems to doze off before I can finish my sentence, he must have fought to stay awake for long.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked him such a complex question when he is fresh out of healing ray, which is taxing on itself. All he got was a short nap, and I plastered him with questions.

Is it really time to quit?

Am I such a failure?

Does quitting mean I'm a failure?