17. Chapter 17

Kendra

I rub the fabric inside the pocket of my coat, staring at the floor as Grihul and I make our way to the parking lot. If I were on my own, I'd take my time looking at the decorations of the mall, but now...

Part of me wants to spend more time with Grihul and take my time enjoying his presence, but part of me...

Fuck... He asked whether I wanted to try dating him and become mates...

Do I agree to try? He said he'd move here. I'd get to see him all the time and that's not too bad. But at the same time... Will it be dangerous to be with him? Is he...

I shake my head, trying to shake away my stupid thoughts. There's no reason for him to want to hurt me. He may be a bigger being, but it doesn't mean he is there to annoy me.

He and I come from different worlds, though.

I pause and he hurries to stop before he bumps into me. Maybe I should just give him a chance and also give myself a chance. How bad can it be?

It isn't like I don't enjoy spending time with him.

I shiver when the door to the outside slides open. A cold breeze blows in my face. I wince as I make myself take a step. Winter on this planet isn't fun at all. I hate it so much. This shopping mall should have made indoor parking in the basement or somewhere so that it'd be a bit more bearable.

Grihul pats my shoulder. "I'll drive the spaceship here."

I shake my head. "It's okay, I'll go with you."

He watches me for another moment before he nods and starts walking. Having long legs is good, but he follows my pace.

The wind isn't very strong, but it is strong enough for me to hate my own existence.

He wraps an arm around my waist. "Here, do you want me to carry you there?"

I roll my eyes. "I know you're a big kot'oll."

He flexes his arms. "I can put these to great use."

He... In my mind, how he held me and fucked me flashes back. He can use those arms well for sure, but I don't need a reminder of that.

I want to think about whether I should give us a chance and date each other. It should be a serious decision that I can't make on the spot, which he seems to understand.

I shake my head. "I'm good."

He shrugs. "No problem, just let me know."

It isn't snowing. There are still piles and piles of snow at the sides of the road. It is also getting dark, which makes it...

I take a breath, trying to calm myself. I've never been big on walking around in the dark even though there are streetlights. Maybe I've been a police officer for so long that I can't help but raise my awareness when things don't feel right.

Grihul doesn't seem to be remotely bothered. Either he doesn't feel the danger lurking somewhere, or bigger beings tend to feel less intimidated. If I were his size, maybe I'd feel safer.

We turn a corner into the back street, which is the shortcut to—

A few shadows pop up out of nowhere. I flinch and reach for my gun at once, but I'm not on duty and I don't have it with me...

Those say nothing and start whacking their thick bats at me. I duck from the first hit, kicking that guy in the stomach.

Grihul grunts. "What is this?"

A smack at my head barely scrapes by, I could have died from that. "No idea."

These have face coverings, which doesn't feel right at all. Are these just robbers?

Grihul takes a step in front of me. "Let me."

I don't mind hiding behind a boulder of a kot'oll, but I don't want him to be at risk either. While he is a big guy, without combat training or the courage for that, it's going to end differently. "It's okay. I can handle—"

A wind blows at my ear. Maybe that's a bash and I should stop talking until it's time.

Grihul growls, "Fuck off her!" He rams into one of those, taking a hit on the arm. I wince when there's a dull crack. Fuck... It can't be his bone, right?

Please?

Grihul picks up the bat from that guy, swinging it around. "Go away!"

I remain close to Grihul's back. With those aimless swings, it feels like he'll smack me in the head quicker than the robbers can manage. I reach for my phone in my pocket, tapping on the emergency button. Hopefully, someone will be here to help.

I pick up a trashed can on the floor. Maybe I can help Grihul. The two other attackers slow down, watching for a gap in Grihul's bat swings. It won't take a spaceship scientist to figure out that Grihul has little to no idea what he is doing other than trying to smack someone with the bat.

And... It doesn't take long before those two come at us again. I toss the can to one of them. They halt for a second and Grihul smashes him in the face.

I wince when there's a loud cracking sound. Now, Grihul has to have broken something. That guy's bat drops, so I snatch it and hand it to Grihul.

Now, he is half-armed with bats and with hands to spare.

The remaining guy runs to the other side of the street.

Grihul hisses and I grab his other wrist, stopping. I say, "Don't go. Let's retreat to the mall first."

"Okay..." He takes a breath. "So..." He looks at the bats in his hands, which have blood stains on them. "Do I keep holding onto these? Put them onto the floor?"

I look around. It looks like we're alone. The commotion didn't catch attention when there was almost no one around. "Let's... keep them with you for the moment. We'll get out of this alley and wait for—"

The siren comes before I can finish my sentence, which means that I don't need to explain further.

He lets out a breath and puts the bat on the floor. "I guess we're safe now."

"Which arm got hit?"

"Which arm?" He looks at his arms as if he has forgotten about it. But I think I saw what I saw.

"One of them got you when you tried to protect me."

He winces and his upper right arm twitches. "I think it's this one."

"How do you not know which got hurt?"

"Because... it didn't hurt for a bit, until now." He grimaces and his face turns pale. It is dark, but his arm is surely bruised.

It hurts me to watch him in pain, but I don't know what I can do to help him...

I reach a finger to his arm, but he pulls away. I sigh. "You know what? Maybe you're a strong and big kot'oll, but it doesn't mean you should take a blow just like that."

"My other arms are busy fighting them. And you were there..."

I hug him. "Thank you. I think I owe you some more. If it weren't for me..."

"Hey! We don't know what happened."

There are footsteps coming our way. It is the other police arriving.

One of my colleagues is there too. He scowls as he watches us. "So... What happened?"

I point at Grihul. "He got hit on the arm when he tried to protect me. Get him to the hospital first."

He glances at the one whose face is smashed by Grihul. There is a puddle of blood. I think that guy is dead. Grihul sure wasn't good enough to control how hard he should swing, so... He probably swung as hard as he could, which I don't blame him at all.

More police come over and examine the scene. Grihul is still at his side of the wall, wincing from the pain. I go to his side and grab him. "Here, let's go. We need to get you checked out."

He gasps and moves a step. "It's okay. My legs are fine. I can walk on my own." But he is shaky. The pain in his arm must be distracting. I try to balance half of his weight, but he is a big guy.

"Kendra, let us." Two police come over to help.

I shake my head. "I can at least—"

"No, let us. It will be safer for everyone."

Before they can push me to the side, I let go of Grihul. Those two police are similar in size to Grihul and a lot stronger than me. It will only make sense for them to help Grihul.

I'm so useless. Grihul helped me and protected me, but there wasn't anything I could do for him.

I clench a fist, slowly letting go of it. I don't want to be a small being, but I don't get to choose.

Most of the police on the scene are bigger ones who are more capable of taking care of things. Maybe... Maybe I'm really in the wrong career.

I think Grihul said something like that too, that... a small being like me may be better off doing something else.

The departments and training school warned me about that when they interviewed me, but I fought for myself and joined, regardless. They couldn't refuse my application because I met all the criteria. I'm also pretty good at solving cases, which is probably why they let me stay.

But they always have to specially arrange my shifts so that there'll always be some beings who can help me, even though I can handle myself.

They have never trusted me...

Or have never thought that I'm capable.

Part of me understands there are things better to do for someone like me, but...

"Kendra, what are you doing here?"

I shudder and turn around to find my colleague waving for me to follow. He says, "We have to get both of you to the hospital first. You know the procedures anyway. Your friend... I don't think he can listen to a single word."

"Is that... bad?"

"I'm not sure. We'll know when we get there. Be quick."

I let out a breath and follow him. Grihul and I will be in the same spaceship, so I better hurry so we can depart as soon as possible.