Chapter 17

Seventeen

“ Y ou will find the Duke of Vaston in the kitchen, Your Grace.”

“The kitchen?”Thomas stared at the butler as he stood in the hallway of his best friend’s London townhouse, unbuttoning his coat. “The Duke of Vaston is in the kitchen?”

“Yes,” the butler sniffed. “I told him that it wasn’t necessary, that the servants could see to the duchess’s needs, but he insisted upon doing it himself.” The butler looked decidedly unhappy about this. “Perhaps you could mention to him, Your Grace, how undignified it is for a duke to spend time in his own kitchen? It will give the servants a bad impression.”

Thomas had to hide his laugh. Aidan’s butler had always been even more of a snob than the duke himself.

A few hours had passed since the conversation and kiss with Cherie, and Thomas had ridden to Vaston Manor this afternoon to seek out his oldest friend’s advice. He hadn’t spoken to Aidan in a while, since the wedding breakfast. Ever since that day, he had been afraid to reach out to him. Being married to his sister was awkward enough; when one added the strange circumstances of the wedding, it was downright uncomfortable.

But Thomas needed someone to speak to; someone who had known him for a long time and who would give him honest advice; someone who wouldn’t sugarcoat things but also wouldn’t catastrophize. Otherwise, he didn’t know what to do: should he follow his heart and live with Cherie as husband and wife, or should he keep the distance between them that she deserved?

Hopefully, Aidan can still give me good advice , he thought dubiously. Although based on this strange behavior, he may have lost his mind on his honeymoon.

“Well, take me to him, I suppose,” Thomas said, shaking his head in amusement and surprise.

The butler led him across the hall, and then through a door that Thomas had never been through before. One of the servants’ stairs. They descended the narrow staircase, which opened up into a neat, simple hallway, through which was wafting the smells of delicious cooking.

“All my years coming here, and I’ve never been to the kitchen,” Thomas marveled.

“Well, it’s hardly an appropriate place for a duke to go,” the butler said disapprovingly.

They walked down the corridor, then into a warm, spacious kitchen that was alive with the hustle and bustle of servants. Kitchen maids were cutting vegetables, sharpening knives, and cleaning pans, while at the large fire, the cook was ladling something from a large pot into a small glass bottle. Next to her stood the Duke of Vaston.

“Your Grace,” the butler said, bowing low. “The Duke of Wheaton is here to see you.”

Aidan turned, and his face broke into a smile as he saw Thomas.

“Wheaton!” Aidan boomed, holding out his hands. “How wonderful it is to you see! How long has it been—three weeks?”

“I think four,” Thomas said, grinning as he came forward and shook his friend’s hand.

“Well, either way, far too long,” Aidan said. “The duchess and I were just saying how much we would like to have you and Cherie over for dinner. But of course, we aren’t hosting yet.”

“Yes, it would be unusual for a duke and duchess to cut short their honeymoon to host a dinner,” Thomas said. “Especially since the Italian portion of the honeymoon was already cut short…”

“We shall not speak of that,” Aidan said, his lip twitching in amusement. “As far as I remember, you and Cherie married in an entirely un-scandalous way, after an appropriately long courtship, and that is what I shall tell anyone who inquires about it.”

“If only,” Thomas said, trying to force himself to laugh.

“Your Grace,” the cook interrupted, and she handed the glass bottle to Aidan. “It’s ready.”

Aidan turned to her at once and took the bottle. Holding it as delicately as one would a child, he brought it to his nose and sniffed.

“And this has the ginger root in it?” he inquired. “And the motherwort?”

“Of course, Your Grace.”

He made a face. “It doesn’t smell very appetizing.”

His cook gave him a reproving look. “Nor did I say it would. But it will have Her Grace feeling better in no time.”

“Hmm.” Aidan gave the mixture in the bottle one more sniff, then nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Trench. Your apothecary skills are second only to your cooking. I appreciate this very much.”

“Anything for Her Grace,” Mrs. Trench, curtsying clumsily. “And please do tell her that we all hope she is feeling better in no time.”

“Thank you, I will.”

Aidan took the piece of cork Mrs. Trench handed him and stopped up the top of the bottle. He then smiled at Thomas and motioned for him to follow him.

The two of them left the kitchen, traipsed back along the corridor, and headed up the narrow staircase. Only when they were out in the hall again did Thomas turn to Aidan with concern and curiosity.

“What is that?” he asked, nodding at the potion in his friend’s hand. “Is Her Grace unwell?”

“She has been feeling under the weather of late,” Aidan said, a mysterious smile curling his lips.

“Then shouldn’t you fetch a doctor?” Thomas asked. “Why would you rely on a potion brewed by your cook when it comes to the duchess’s health?”

Aidan chuckled, and Thomas got the distinct impression that he was missing something.

“This potion isn’t just for making the duchess feel better,” Aidan explained. “She also has very particular tastes these days and doesn’t like to eat or drink much. This drink is something that Mrs. Trench’s family have used for generations to appease the particular appetites of women in the duchess’s condition.”

“The duchess’s condition…?” Thomas frowned, not understanding.

Aidan laughed and shook his head. “Cassandra is with child, Thomas.”

“Oh my—” Thomas’s eyes went wide, and he stopped in his tracks. “Aidan! Why didn’t you say so at once? Congratulations, my old friend! You are going to be a father!”

“Yes,” Aidan said, and his eyes grew moist. “I’m going to be a father.”

Both men had stopped walking, and Thomas suddenly found himself unable to speak. Tears choked his throat, and his eyes burned. Next to him, Aidan looked equally as emotional.

“I couldn’t quite believe it,” Aidan said after a moment. His voice was hoarse, so he coughed and cleared his throat. “It was all so sudden. We only married two months ago…”

“Sometimes that’s all it takes,” Thomas said with a wink, and Aidan burst out laughing.

“We were rather… enthusiastic,” Aidan admitted, resuming his walk across the hall. “On the honeymoon, I mean.”

“You two are deeply in love,” Thomas said, and his heart seemed to clench with sadness and longing at the same time. “And I know that you will both be excellent parents.”

They reached the stairs, and Aidan began to mount them. “Do you mind if I drop this off at the duchess’s room?” Aidan asked. “I could give it to a servant, but ever since I found out about her condition, I have found myself eager to attend to all her needs personally.”

“So that’s why you were in the kitchen? You had to personally oversee the concoction of this mysterious, magical drink?”

Aidan laughed. “It’s an old folk remedy that is supposed to bring long-term health to both the mother and the baby.”

“Ahh, I see. Well, your butler was very disapproving of your need to oversee its preparation.”

“Yes, he thinks I am rather undignified these days,” Aidan said with a chuckle. “But then, he has never had children. So, he does not understand the urge that has overtaken me of late.” He smiled to himself, a far-away look in his eyes.

“I just want to take care of her, Thomas,” he burst out as if this were some tawdry secret. “I want to make sure every one of her needs are satisfied, that she’s comfortable and happy all the time, that she’s rested and feels well. She is giving me the greatest gift on earth, after all: she is giving me a child and an heir. Not to mention she already gave me the greatest gift by marrying her. And now I want to be of service to her. Give back as much as she is giving me.”

“It’s not as if she did it on her own,” Thomas pointed out. “You also contributed to the making of this child.”

“Yes, but she is the one that will have to carry it. It’s an awesome burden, my friend. The female body goes through so much during pregnancy and labor. So, I just want to make her as comfortable as possible.”

They reached the duchess’s room, and Aidan knocked softly.

“Come in,” the duchess called from within, and Aidan pushed open the door.

“Thomas is with me, my dear,” he said, poking his head around the door. “May he come in?”

“Of course!”

Thomas followed Aidan into the room. Cassandra, the Duchess of Vaston, was sitting up in bed, a book in her hand. She looked remarkably well, her round cheeks ruddy and her eyes alight in a way Thomas hadn’t seen before. And as her husband approached, she smiled radiantly at him. He kissed her cheek and set the bottle down on the table next to the bed.

“Mrs. Trench’s finest concoction yet,” Aidan said, gesturing at it. “She assures me it will cure you of your morning sickness.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful!” Cassandra gushed. “I am sick of being confined to bed, and once the nausea passes, I think I’ll feel up to getting out of bed.”

“Just take it easy for now,” Aidan said. “There is no rush.”

Cassandra nodded, and the look of trust in her eyes as she looked at her husband nearly broke Thomas’s heart. She then looked past Aidan at Thomas.

“Your Grace!” She beamed. “It’s wonderful to see you again! And my dear Cherie, how is she?”

“She is well,” Aidan said truthfully. “And will be delighted to learn of your condition.”

“Oh, please do tell her,” Cassandra said. “I meant to write to her, but I have been feeling so poorly since we discovered the news that I haven’t been up for it.”

“I’m very pleased for you,” Thomas said. “You and Aidan will make wonderful parents.”

“Thank you,” she said, and her cheeks flushed even more. She and Aidan shared a long look, and again, it struck Thomas to the heart. The love between the duke and duchess was so powerful that he felt almost embarrassed to witness it.

“Well, we should let you rest,” Aidan said at last. “Make sure you drink up. Mrs. Trench will never forgive me if I spend half an hour looking over her shoulder and then don’t ensure you drink all of it.”

Cassandra laughed. “Of course, I will. It was nice to see you, Thomas. Please give Cherie my love.”

Thomas bowed to the duchess, and then he and Aidan left the room. Once the door had closed behind him, his friend let out a long sigh.

“She looks remarkably well, doesn’t she?” he asked Thomas. “Despite feeling nauseous.”

“She really does.” Thomas peered at his friend. Aidan didn’t seem able to stop smiling. “And you, my old friend? How do you feel?”

Aidan chuckled, then threw his arm around Thomas. “In truth, I’m terrified,” he said to Thomas’s surprise.

“Terrified? You don’t look it!”

“Well, I’m happy also. Maybe the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. But it’s a huge responsibility, parenthood. I don’t take that lightly. I will be a father soon, Thomas! This means that from the day my child is born, I will have to make sure he or she is safe, happy, fed, and loved unconditionally. I want to do it well. I want my child to grow up feeling more loved than any child ever has. But I know it will be hard and that there will be moments of exhaustion, doubt, anger, frustration, and every other negative emotion. So, I will have to be stronger and braver than I ever have been, in order to be the best I can be for this child.”

Aidan shook his head. “So yes, my old friend, I’m terrified. I’m terrified I won’t be worthy of this child or the perfect woman I married. But I’m also sure that there is nothing else in this world I want more than to be good enough for both of them.”

Thomas was once more overcome with emotion. He found it difficult to speak, but he forced himself to. “That’s a concept I’ve never considered before,” he said, his voice hoarse. “That a father should worry about not being good enough for his child. I was always made to believe that it was the other way around: that the child had to prove he was good enough for the father.”

“Not at all,” Aidan said, shaking his head. “And you’ll see soon enough. I’m sure that you and Cherie will have a child before long. And then, when you know she’s with child, you’ll know what I know now: that you love this woman, and the child on its way, more than life itself: that you’d do anything to protect them and make them happy. And then you’ll know that there is nothing that child could ever do to make it unworthy of your love. Because your love is unconditional.”

Aidan’s grip tightened on his arm. “You’ll see soon enough,” he repeated. “Just you wait.”

And with these words, Thomas knew exactly what he had to do.

“Was there a reason you stopped by, though?” Aidan asked. “Was there something you wanted to discuss?”

“No no,” Thomas lied. “I just wanted to see you.”

And you already answered my question.