Chapter 55

55

ALAINA

C ate and I were out shopping together, wandering through the racks of clothes, and chatting about life. I agreed to go to her upscale stores if she would go to my favorite thrift store with me. I knew she was hoping I would be shopped out after meandering through the mall for hours, but I was going to hold her to her promise. The mall was bustling, the background noise of other shoppers doing holiday shopping was actually soothing. I turned to Cate as she pulled a cute sweater off the rack.

"What do you think?" she asked. "Too white?"

"It's white." I pointed out the obvious.

"Yes, but too white?" She held it up to her chest, turning this way and that in front of a nearby mirror.

I shrugged, not really seeing the dilemma. "There's white and there's not white. I'm not sure there's a too?—"

"Never mind," she huffed, tossing the sweater back onto the rack with an exaggerated sigh. "You just don't understand fashion."

"I understand my wallet," I countered with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes at me, and we both laughed. We continued to explore the store, picking out a few things here and there, but mostly just enjoying each other's company.

Eventually, we found our way to a small café nestled in the corner of the mall. We ordered two peppermint mochas and settled into plush armchairs by the window. There was a light snow falling, just enough to cover the ground. It was like a scene out of a Christmas movie.

"How are things with Roan?" she asked.

"Things with Roan are going really well. Better than I thought it could be."

Cate looked up, a small smile playing on her lips. "Oh really? Do tell."

I couldn't help grinning. "Well, you know how we were worried about telling Rafe? Turns out we didn't need to. He's totally fine with everything. It's like he knew all along."

"Kids are smart," Cate said. "They pick up on things."

"Yeah, they do," I agreed, knowing she was just reciting something she had heard before because Cate had no experience with kids. "It's just been so natural with Roan. Like we're already a family."

Cate raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you're ready to be a stepmom?"

I laughed. "I guess I am. It feels right, you know?"

Cate nodded thoughtfully. "I'm happy for you, Alaina. You deserve this."

"But?" I prompted, hearing it in her voice.

"But nothing," she said without meeting my eyes.

"I can't talk about this with you if you're gonna start with the relentless negativity again," I said. "Your hatred of men almost cost me this relationship. Please don't try to ruin it again."

"I think Roan is an attractive man. He's charming and wealthy. And Rafe seems like a great kid. I know you love kids. Are you sure you're not drawn to the total package? Is it really Roan you want or the dream of having the perfect man, a beautiful house, and a cute kid?"

I paused, mulling over her words. I could see the concern in her eyes, and I knew she was only asking this out of love, even though she was a giant pain in my ass.

Her question made me introspective. Was it just the package? The idyllic life that Roan could offer that drew me in? I did want a family. I wanted to settle down and make cookies after school and have family fun days.

"I've asked myself that too," I admitted before taking a sip of my peppermint mocha. The warm drink was comforting. "But then I remember moments with Roan, moments where we're just being silly or sharing stories about our lives. It's not just about the house or Rafe."

"But could you love him without all that?" Cate pressed gently.

I was silent for a moment, considering her words. "Yes," I said slowly, firmly. "I'd love him if we were living in a small apartment and struggling to make ends meet. I'd love him if he had an extra hundred pounds or if he was sick."

Cate smiled. "I'm really glad to hear that, Alaina."

"Besides," I added after a moment. "As far as Rafe is concerned, he's just a bonus."

Cate chuckled at this. "You're going to be a great mom, you know that?"

"I hope so," I said softly, looking down at my cup. "I've dreamed about it for so long it almost doesn't seem real."

"Trust me, it's as real as it gets. I only got to spend a little time with Rafe, but I think you scored there. I think we both know I'm not exactly a kid person, but Rafe seems like a good one. He's smart. You told me he was nine but I felt like I was talking to an adult."

"He is very smart." I smiled proudly. "He must have a great teacher."

We sat in companionable silence after that, watching the snow fall outside and sipping on our drinks.

"What's going on with you and Jake?" I asked her.

Cate made a face. "There is no me and Jake."

I smirked. "Really? Because he seems pretty interested."

Cate sighed dramatically. "Yeah, he's trying. Hard. He had an edible arrangement sent to my office last week."

I chuckled. "That's sweet."

"I immediately gave it to the interns," Cate said, her expression indignant. "So cheesy."

"Like actual cheese?" I asked with confusion.

She rolled her eyes. "No, it was fruits and stuff."

"That was sweet." I smiled. "I think that's thoughtful. It's better than flowers that are just going to die."

She looked at me with a mischievous look in her eye. "I sent him one back. A more expensive one. With a note that said, ‘nice try.'"

I burst out laughing. "Cate, that's practically flirting! Why would you not be impressed? It was very sweet and clearly you liked it if you sent one back to him."

"It's not," she protested, though her lips twitched with a suppressed smile. "I don't know. I'm not interested, but he's persistent. I don't want him to think he's going to impress me with some chocolate-covered strawberries. He's not going to sweep me off my feet with food. I wanted him to know I can buy my own food."

"Persistent?" I said. "More like he's smitten. You should give him a chance."

Cate rolled her eyes. "I don't have time for this, Alaina. I'm busy with work, and I just don't want to deal with it. I've known guys like him. They enjoy the thrill of the chase. They want what they can't have. He thinks he's going to impress me with expensive gifts, as if I'm going to be persuaded to let him in my bed because he's rich."

"But you don't know if that's all he is about," I corrected.

"He tried to buy me a drink at the bar," she reminded me. "He really thought I was just going to hop into bed with him. I've seen him before. He's always with a different woman. He's a player. He probably has notches on his bedpost. I'm not going to be one of them."

"And what if he's a nice guy looking to settle down?" I countered.

She curled her lips back as if she heard something horrible. "I am not looking for a man and I'm certainly not looking to settle down with anyone."

"Sometimes the best things happen when you're not looking for them," I said gently. "Look at me and Roan. I wasn't looking for anything, and now I'm head over heels. I feel like I've taken off narrow-vision glasses and can see the whole world. I can see my future. I'm excited for it."

"I'm happy for you, but I don't see myself jumping into anything just yet," she said. "My career is my focus."

"I don't know Jake, but I know Roan and I can't imagine Roan being best friends with a guy that isn't good," I said. "And he trusts him with Rafe. Roan is very picky about who he lets Rafe be around. And Rafe absolutely loves the guy, which you've seen. You said it yourself, kids are more observant than we give them credit for. Rafe recognizes a good person."

Cate sighed, her resolve wavering. "I know you're right. It's just complicated. I just really don't want to get involved. I'm selfish and stuck in my ways. I know what I want. My career is what's important to me. I know that might sound vapid and uninspiring, but it is what it is. That's what makes me happy."

"I get it, because I kind of felt the same way, but being with Roan is absolutely so satisfying and fulfilling," I said. I knew I sounded like a lovesick woman and maybe I was. "I was very content in my life. I was happy. It's like adding a creamy and tangy burst of flavor to an already delicious and satisfying meal, taking it to a whole new level of ecstasy. That's terrible, but you know what I mean. How about finding one of your Ralph Lauren outfits and it's the perfect size and you look hot and then you find out it's ninety percent off? It's euphoric. Everything is better. Food tastes better. Your surroundings are prettier. You wake up with a smile."

"Ugh," she groaned. "You're so sappy. What's wrong with you?"

"I'm in love." I grinned. "I want you to feel this same thing. It's an amazing feeling."

"I might one day, but I don't think it's Jake." She laughed. "I just can't get over his playboy ways."

I nodded, understanding. "But you can't deny there's something there. At least consider it?"

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

I smiled, satisfied. "Good. Because I think you two would be great together."

Cate just shook her head, but I could see the wheels turning in her mind. We finished our drinks and headed back into the fray. Cate dragged me from one store to the next. "We're still going to the thrift store," I told her. "You're not going to get out of it."

"Are you sure?" she groaned. "Look at how nice the clothes are here. No one else has worn them."

"You said we would," I reminded her.

"Fine," she muttered. "Let's go and then we're getting something to eat. I'm starving."

I laughed as we made our way to her car to drop off our bags before heading to my favorite shopping spot. The thrift store was in an older part of town, hidden amongst a myriad of other secondhand shops and antique stores. It was one of those places that felt like stepping back in time, surrounded by items that each held a story of their own. I loved that they were all clustered together. It was the thrifty version of a mall.

We browsed the racks, laughing at some of the finds. I picked out a few things before we left. Cate opted not to buy anything, which wasn't a surprise. We made our way to a Mexican restaurant, settling in with the scent of spices and peppers all around us. We quickly ordered, both of us hungry and knowing what we wanted without needing a menu.

Later that evening, I sat in my tiny apartment, reflecting on the day. I felt confident in my relationship with Roan. There would be challenges, sure, but we could handle them together. No relationship was perfect.

I picked up my phone and sent Roan a quick text. "Hey, just wanted to say I'm thinking about you."

A few moments later, my phone buzzed with his reply. "Thinking about you too. Can't wait to see you tomorrow."

As I settled in for the night, Beau curled up at my feet and I felt a deep sense of contentment. Things were falling into place. I was ready to embrace the future, whatever it might bring.

And who knew? Maybe Cate and Jake would find their own happy ending too.