Chapter 56

56

ROAN

H aving Alaina around was becoming a natural part of my life. We often had dinner together and she would stay the night—in my bed. We didn't make a big deal out of it. We went to bed after Rafe and were usually up before him, so he never really saw us in bed together. Except for that one time.

I smiled thinking about it. I hadn't locked the door, thinking I didn't need to. I was usually up early, but being in bed with her was far too cozy. I slept like a baby.

We finished our wine and sat in front of the fire a little longer, simply enjoying the peace and quiet. "Tired?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, but this is nice." I smiled. "I really like our nights. I like sitting here with you and doing absolutely nothing."

"Me too." She nodded. "It's so peaceful. I have to admit your neighborhood is a lot quieter than mine."

I laughed. "Yeah, I bet."

After another few minutes of sitting, I turned to her. "Ready for bed?"

"Yes." She smiled. "I'm going to check on the boys, make sure they aren't crowding one or the other out of bed."

Beau had a habit of sleeping in Rafe's bed, which comforted me, knowing Rafe wasn't alone. The dog had taken to Rafe, which thrilled him. He was getting the dog he hoped for. And I didn't have to go through the puppy phase.

"I'll see you in bed," I said, giving her a quick kiss.

I watched her disappear down the hall before I took a moment to clean up. A sudden pang of gratitude hit me. Alaina had brought such an incredible sense of harmony into my life, and Rafe's for that matter. I cherished the way she cared for us both.

Once I finished tidying, I walked toward my room, switching off the lights along the way. The house was tranquil, only the soft ticking of an old grandfather clock in the hallway echoing throughout. A sense of peace enveloped me as I entered my bedroom. I pulled back the blankets and turned on the candles on the nightstand. I quickly stripped down to my briefs and climbed into bed to wait for her.

It was strange that I wasn't even thinking about sex. Yes, I always wanted sex with her, but there was something intimate to just lying with her, skin to skin and appreciating the connection.

Alaina walked into the room, her silhouette softly shaded against the dim light from the hallway. She wore one of my T-shirts, a look that I secretly loved to see her in. "Boys are sound asleep," she reported, with a small satisfied smile on her face.

"That's good," I said, moving over in bed to give her space to climb in.

Alaina looked so at home as she walked in, and it hit me—one day, this woman was going to be my wife. I didn't know when, but I knew it was going to happen. This was the woman I was supposed to spend my life with.

My first marriage had been a mistake. In a way, I was glad that horrible, doomed relationship happened. Without it, I would haven't had Rafe. Without Rafe, my life would have been joyless. And I never would have met Alaina. Everything in my past led me to where I was supposed to be.

She slipped under the covers, settling against me as I wrapped my arm around her. Her back pressed against my chest. I could feel the comforting rhythm of her breathing. We lay like that for a bit, simply sinking into the comfort.

"I was thinking," Alaina said, her voice soft but enthusiastic. "There's a high school with a great STEM track that would be perfect for Rafe in a few years. It's a bit of a drive, but they have amazing resources and programs. I think it would be perfect for him. It will launch him into the science field. He can take college classes at the same time. I read a lot of kids graduated with an associate's degree. They hit the ground running and will have their four-year degree by the time they are twenty. It shortens the time in school, which is one of the things that really burns young people out."

I smiled, feeling a swell of gratitude. "You really care about him, don't you?"

"Of course, I do," she replied, almost offended that I'd even ask. "I care about him in more than just a ‘he's cute, let's buy him gifts' kind of way. I see so much potential in him, Roan. He's bright, curious, and passionate about learning. He's kind and funny. He's the perfect little package."

I nodded, my heart full. Alaina didn't just love Rafe because he was my son. She loved him for who he was. In a short amount of time, she filled the hole that was in his life. She was teaching him STEM subjects at school and important life skills at home, like doing laundry and caring for Beau. Her patience and kindness were endless. Her gentle touch was what he'd been longing for. I didn't think I was a total failure as a father, but I couldn't be a mother. It was just never going to happen.

"Are you okay being with me, knowing I have a son?" I asked. "If we continue down this path, you'll end up being his stepmom."

She rolled over to look at me with a frown before she swatted at me playfully. "Roan, it's never been a secret that you have a kid. Do you think I just realized Rafe existed? Why are we even talking about this?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, I know. It's just that I want to make sure you're really okay with all of this. The readymade family."

"Of course, I am." She shrugged. "Have I done something to make you feel otherwise?"

I sighed, searching her face. I saw uncertainty but also an unwavering sense of love and determination. "No, it's not you," I assured her, brushing a loose strand of hair from her eyes. "It's me. After my first failed marriage, I guess I just worry."

Alaina smiled gently, her hand resting against my chest. "Roan, I'm not her."

"I know." I nodded.

"Can I ask what happened?" she whispered.

It wasn't a subject I ever talked about. It was definitely not something I ever wanted to relive.

"We got married young," I told her. "She said I pushed her to have a baby. I didn't think I did. I thought we were just fine. After Rafe was born, we had the usual marriage difficulties. It got worse. Then one day, she told me she was done. She said she never wanted to be a mother. She looked forward to a life of luxury with no encumbrances. She didn't want the burden of a kid slowing her down or preventing her from shopping, clubbing, or jet setting. So, she left."

Alaina shook her head. "I'm not a mother, but I cannot imagine that. Then again, I guess I can."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"My mom ditched me and Cate when I was about twelve," she said. "Before that, she wasn't really present. My dad raised us, but he wasn't exactly thrilled about the situation. Cate took care of me. I'm not sure what I would have done if she wasn't around."

"Ah, maybe that's why you understand Rafe so well." I nodded. "I'm sorry. That had to have been tough."

"It was, but I honestly don't think much about it." She sighed. "I don't want to dwell on it."

"Do you ever hear from your mother?"

"When I graduated high school I got a card," she replied with a laugh. "It was signed Mom but there wasn't a handwritten note or anything. It was just the card."

"Wow." I shook my head. "Here I was thinking my ex was a rarity."

Alaina gave a half-smile that held more pain than humor. "I guess not. But I'm okay, Roan. It taught me an important lesson about what I don't want to be. And it made me even more certain about what I do want."

"And what's that?" I asked softly.

"To be there," she said simply, looking back at me with clear and determined eyes. "For Rafe, for you. To be a part of this family you've created. If and when I am fortunate enough to become a mother, I am going to be the exact opposite of my mom. I'm going to be there for everything. I'm going to take my kids to college and be a complete pest."

I laughed, pulling her hand into mine and threading my fingers through hers. "You're doing a great job with Rafe already."

She glanced at my hand and frowned slightly. "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

I looked down at my bare finger and then back at her. "When I wear a ring again, it's going to be for real. I don't need a fake ring to act as a shield. I'm with you. If a woman hits on me, it'll be very easy for me to tell them I'm in love with someone and they are barking up the wrong tree."

She giggled. "Maybe I should tattoo your forehead announcing you are not on the market."

"One day, you're going to have a ring too," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she hugged me tightly. "I can't wait."

Eventually, our conversation turned back to Rafe and his future.

"I love that you care so much about Rafe's education," I said, running my fingers through her hair. "You've been such a positive influence on him."

"It's easy to care about someone as special as Rafe," she replied, her voice filled with affection. "He's an incredible kid."

"I'm just so grateful to have you in our lives," I admitted, feeling a lump in my throat. "You've brought so much happiness and stability to both of us."

"Roan, you and Rafe have done the same for me," she said. "I never imagined finding a love like this."

We continued to talk late into the night, sharing our dreams and hopes for the future. As I held her close, I knew without a doubt that Alaina was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She was more than just my partner. She was my best friend, my confidante, and my soulmate.

"Goodnight," I whispered close to her ear.

She murmured something and snuggled in closer.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Rafe and Beau playing downstairs. Alaina was still asleep beside me, her hair spread out like a halo on the pillow. I watched her for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace. I leaned down and kissed her forehead gently, careful not to wake her.

Slipping out of bed, I went downstairs to find Rafe and Beau in the kitchen. Rafe was trying to pour cereal into a bowl while Beau watched him intently, hoping for some spillage.

"Morning, buddy," I said, ruffling Rafe's hair.

"Morning, Dad," he replied, grinning up at me. "Is Ms. C still sleeping?"

"She is." I nodded. "Did you let Beau out?"

"Yep, and I already gave him breakfast with his morning pill."

"Good job," I said proudly, amazed at how quickly he had picked up on how to take care of the dog. "That will make Alaina happy."

"Are we going to hang out today?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," I answered. "Probably for a little bit."

"Cool," he said and took a bite of his cereal.

I wasn't sure why I ever worried about him not handling the transition. He acted like Alaina had always been a part of our lives. It was me who'd had the problem.

But I was finally starting to believe Alaina actually loved me.