16. Cage

16

CAGE

F uck.

What did I do?

I did exactly what I wanted to. But it’s not what I should have done. For a man with so much control, I don’t seem to have any around Ember.

As I glance down at her sleeping form, a pacifier lodged in her mouth, I replay our conversation. I should spank her for goading me. She knew what she was doing. Pushing my buttons. Talking about losing her virginity to another man. The thought of it enrages me. If another man so much as touches her, I’ll fucking destroy him. Maybe I’ll just have to do that. Kill any guy who so much as looks her way. I’m not above stalking her once she goes back to DC.

I care for her. As much as I want to deny it, I’m lying to myself. In the short time she’s invaded my life, she’s somehow wiggled her way under my skin.It’s uncomfortable yet comforting at the same time. It’s also the scariest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced.

When she told me what those girls did to her in school, I could barely keep myself in check. I wanted to jump up and punch something. The only reason I didn’t is because she was on top of me, spilling her fucking heart out and breaking mine with her story. It might have been a long time ago that it happened, but those women will pay for hurting my firefly. For still hurting her now. The evident pain in her eyes last night nearly killed me. I don’t need Ember to give me names. I’ll find them myself and ruin their lives.I hate bullies. I dealt with them until I was recruited to The Agency. Like hell will I allow bullies to continue to haunt my girl.

As happy thoughts of how I’m going to destroy those women run through my head, I let myself relax under the warmth of my girl’s body. I start to drift to sleep, for the first time in a long time, feeling whole.

She belongs here. At The Ranch. Where she can be herself. Where she’s cared about. Maybe even loved.

I stare at the list before me and go over each line again. I’ve been working on it since dawn while Ember continues to snooze beside me, her pacifier still in her mouth. She hardly moved all night. After her nightmare, I was worried about getting her back to sleep.

When I heard her crying out last night, it broke my heart. She sounded so sad and scared. My poor girl. Her father is now on my list of people to destroy. The only reason he’s been spared so far is because, even though he’s a shitty parent, I can tell Ember still loves him. She wants him to love her so badly, and the asshole doesn’t seem to see it or care. Whatever the case, I’ve hit my limit.

She stirs beside me. I glance over and watch as she stretches, a soft sigh escaping her. My cock jumps at the innocent sound. I don’t know how the hell I expect to control myself around her. It’s torture. Taking her virginity when I can’t promise her anything isn’t right, though. She deserves everything . Not just a broken man like me who struggles to be gentle with her.

“Morning.”

Her eyes fly open, and her baby blues meet my gaze. I reach out and brush her hair away from her face then give a tug on the pacifier. She opens her mouth and lets me pull it free.

“Hi,” she murmurs.

“You slept like a baby once you dozed off.”

The pink hue on her cheeks deepens as she moves her gaze around, as if trying to avoid my stare.

“You have eighty-seven freckles on the bridge of your nose,” I tell her.

She freezes and snaps her eyes up to meet mine. “What?”

“I counted. Three times to make sure I wasn’t off. Eighty-seven.”

I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t stop myself this morning. I want to know every single thing about her all the way down to something as simple as her adorable freckles.

“You counted,” she repeats. “While I was sleeping.”

I nod and hold up the pad of paper. “Yes. I also made a list of rules for you.”

Her eyebrows draw together, and she sits up, resting her back against the headboard. “You like rules.”

“I like you having rules.”

“Maybe you should have rules, too.”

I chuckle. “Believe me, firefly. I have rules. Ones I set for myself. When I fuck up, I punish myself harsher than anyone else could.”

Her messy hair sticks up in places, only adding to her sleepy cuteness. I could get used to this. Waking up beside her every morning. Her pink sleep shirt has a sparkly rainbow printed on the front and it just adds to how adorable she is. I wonder what kind of panties she has on. I didn’t get a glimpse last night. Once I start dressing her, I’ll be putting her in the most innocent cotton panties possible to make her feel so Little. Maybe I’ll even make her wear some training panties.

The past few days with have been some of the best I’ve had in a long time. So much that I’ve been all but ignoring the issue at hand. Instead of trying to figure out the threat, I’ve been obsessing over her. Because the sooner I eliminate the threat, the sooner she leaves, and that makes my chest burn. She’s safe here. Not a single fucking soul can get to her here unless I allow it.

“You’re really hard on yourself, you know?”

If only she knew.

“Baby, I didn’t get to where I am by taking it easy on myself.”

“What is it you do exactly? And how did you end up here with all these men and Rowie? You said you were adopted, but I get the feeling it’s not the type of adoption I pictured.”

I knew at some point I’d have to tell her my story. The longer she’s here, the more she’ll learn. Then she’ll decide for the both of us that she belongs in DC. As much as I hate that thought, I won’t hide who I am, even if she hates me for it. I didn’t want to start this morning out with this conversation, though. Guess we may as well get it out of the way so she can decide if she still wants me to be her temporary Daddy.

“I never knew my real parents. I was dropped off at a church when I was a baby. From there, I went to seventeen foster homes throughout my childhood. Most of the families were abusive in one way or another, so I ran away often. Got into trouble. Did some really bad shit. I went to juvie nearly a dozen times from the time I was nine until I was thirteen.”

Ember’s bottom lip trembles, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she reaches out and takes my hand in hers. My throat goes tight. She’s comforting me. This precious Little girl, who had a nightmare in the middle of the night because of the shit she went through, is trying to comfort me. Fuck me. I don’t deserve something so damn precious.

“I’m smart. Like genius smart,” I say, smirking down at her. “You knew that already, though.”

That gives me the reaction I’d hoped for as she smiles widely and rolls her eyes.

“So humble, too,” she says.

I nod. “The humblest.”

She snorts and shakes her head.

“Anyway, I didn’t know it, but someone had been tracking me for a few years. A company called The Agency.”

“The Agency? I’ve never heard of them.”

“It’s not the type of organization known by the public.”

Ember squints, her nose scrunching in confusion. If only she knew what that does to me. At least I have blankets over me to cover my forming erection.

“Why had they been tracking you? I’m confused.”

“One particular person in The Agency was tracking me. Deke Black. He showed up at the juvenile detention center I was in and told me that because of my genius and psychopath tendencies he had an offer for me.”

“Psychopath?” she squeaks.

“Yeah, baby. Pretty sure you already knew that, though.”

The pink flush returns to her cheeks as she ducks her head. “Well, I mean, I might have called you that a few times, but I was joking. Mostly.”

My chest warms, and fuck, if only things were different. She’d have my last name already—on paper and tattooed on her.

“Good thing for you, I’m not actually one. They tested me. I just have some of the tendencies.”

She laughs softly. “That makes me feel so much better.”

Reaching under the blankets, I gently pinch her thigh, although instead of letting out a yelp, she whimpers and squirms. What the fuck? My girl likes some pain.

“Watch it, brat. I’ll have you face-down over my lap in a heartbeat if you keep being sassy.”

She nibbles her bottom lip, her eyes sparkling, and my heart starts to pound harder as I stare at her. I’m utterly and completely fucked when it comes to Ember Elizabeth Adams.

“So, what happened? How did you end up here?” she finally asks.

“Deke made me an offer. Family, money, and freedom to do things that quiet the monster inside of me without spending the rest of my life in prison.”

Seconds pass, and I wait for her to pull her hand away from mine. To decide she’s heard enough and kick me out of her room. I wouldn’t blame her. Nothing about my life is ordinary.

Ever so slowly, she lets go of me, and a pain blooms in my chest that is nearly intolerable. I’ve been rejected by a lot of people in my life, but this will be by far the most painful.

Then she reaches up and smooths her hand over my cheek. “People are always afraid of monsters, but I think they’re misunderstood. If they were just given a chance, I think the world would see that we need monsters in our lives to keep us safe from our own demons.”

If I wasn’t already in love with Ember, I think I am now. Fuck, I know I am. And when I lose her, it will destroy me.

“Thanks, firefly,” I say softly. “You know you’re safe with me, right? That no matter what I am or what I do, I will never hurt you. I will always protect you.”

She smiles and leans into me, letting out a soft sigh. “I know, Daddy.”

Those three words render me speechless, and all I can manage is to wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.

“Are your brothers the same as you?” she finally asks.

“Yeah, baby. We were all teenagers when Deke recruited us. Some of us were in juvie, some lived on the streets, and some were in abusive homes. We’re all fucked up from our pasts. The Ranch is our solitude from the world when we’re not working.”

Ember nods. “So, what is it exactly that you do for work? Since you made it pretty clear to me that you’re not a bodyguard.”

I chuckle and give her hair a playful tug. “You really want some of your Good Girl Points taken away already, don’t you? Does my girl want her bottom spanked? Is that what it is? You don’t have to be a sassy brat to get one; you can just ask for a spanking.”

She tips her head back to look up at me, the tips of her ears bright red. “Sassing you is so fun, though.”

“Okay, baby girl. As long as you know, you’ll have to pay the price of that sass at some point.”

“You’re avoiding my question.” She raises her eyebrows at me and waits.

Letting out a sigh, I lean my head back against the wall. “We do a lot of things. We’re like a special-ops team but times a thousand. We all have things we excel in, and we use our skills to make the world a better place. Sometimes, that means stopping terrorist attacks, and sometimes, that means helping the mafia stop human trafficking rings. We work for every letter agency there is plus several of the syndicate families. Organizations contract us when something needs to be done without the public knowing. In exchange, we have the freedom to handle situations our way without any repercussions.”

When I finish, I glance down my nose at her, expecting to see disgust on. A lot of what we do doesn’t seem like it’s right. Teaming up with the mob? Working under the radar for the CIA? It sounds like fictional shit. But what people don’t realize is the world needs men like us to do things no one else can.

“Do you…” Ember stops and shakes her head, diverting her eyes. “Never mind.”

I cup her chin and force her to look at me. “No. You have a question, you ask. Don’t ever censor yourself around me.”

As I firmly squeeze her cheeks, her pupils dilate.

“I was just going to ask if you kill people,” she says softly. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s not my business.”

Leaning down, I glare at her. “That’s where you’re wrong, firefly. If I’m your Daddy, my business is yours, and yours is mine. I don’t do secrets or lies. It’s a rule. I also don’t believe in giving space. I’m an obsessive motherfucker, and I’ll probably suffocate you. Everything in my life is your business.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, so I go on.

“The answer is yes, firefly. I kill people. Brutally. Always for good reason. Never just for fun. I also torture people when needed. I’m not a good man, Ember. My first kill was when I was thirteen. I have more blood on my hands than any person ever should.”

Now she’s really going to push me away. My stomach coils at the thought, and I think I might be sick. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never really sought out a relationship. The chance of finding someone, specifically someone in this lifestyle, willing to be with someone like me is laughable. It’s something my brothers and I have accepted over the years. I think having Rowie in our lives has made it easier for us. We may not be her Daddy, but we still get to be around a Little and take care of her as if we are.

Ember runs her fingers over the fur of her stuffed dragon. It’s cute and it’s her favorite, but all I can think about is wanting to get her a dozen more. I want to fill an entire fucking room with every toy I can find. She deserves that.

Her eyes are wide and searching when she turns them to look at me. There’s no disgust or hatred in her gaze. Just pure curiosity. “Do you like what you do?”

I won’t lie to her. I can’t. She deserves the truth. Even if it is the final nail in the coffin.

“Yeah, firefly. I do. Maybe that makes me a sick bastard, but I’ve seen so much ugly in the world over my lifetime that when I can watch someone’s horrible life drain from their eyes, it makes me happy. It heals something inside me.”

Ember doesn’t say anything for a long time. I’m going to be sick. I’ve never felt for anyone like this, and I’ve just destroyed it. I guess that’s what I’m good at. Destroying things.

Then she wiggles closer to me and nudges her way under my arm, so she’s snuggled into the crook of my armpit, and just like that, my world feels right again. “The Agency made a good choice in you. It makes me feel better about the world knowing you’re one of the men helping to keep it safer.”

Nothing surprises me anymore. I’ve seen and done too much for that. But this Little girl just knocked the fucking wind out of me.

“You don’t hate me?” I ask softly.

She turns and looks up at me, her eyebrows pinched. “Why would I hate you? You were given a shit hand in life, and you’ve made the best of it. You have an amazing family, a job that means something, and a beautiful home where you can be yourself. I’m proud of you.”

I don’t remember the last time I cried. Maybe when I was a baby. But those words, I’m proud of you , coming from her, bring me to my knees, and I blink back tears.

Leaning down, I kiss her forehead. “Thanks, firefly,” I say tightly. “Swearing is against the rules.”

She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Yes, Daddy.”

And for the first time, I realize I’m not going to be able to let her go. Physically, maybe, but Ember has a permanent place in my heart. She’s carved out a spot right in the center and has burrowed herself in deep. When she leaves, that hole will be massive and painful. Probably the most painful thing I’ve ever endured. Yet, for her, I’d fucking burn if she asked me to walk through fire.

I might not be able to keep her, but it doesn’t mean I won’t watch over her for the rest of her life. Even if it kills me when she finds the man of her dreams. And it just might. If I don’t kill him first, of course.