15. Ember

15

EMBER

Y ou’re pathetic. Who plays with dolls at our age? What kind of sicko are you?

“Ember, baby, wake up.”

Why don’t you just kill yourself so we don’t have to look at your ugly face anymore?

“Firefly, wake up. You’re having a nightmare, baby.”

Hands grab at me, pulling my hair and scratching me. Letting out a cry, I fight back, clawing away from them.

“Ouch. Fuck. Baby, it’s Cage.”

“No. Leave me alone. I’m not a freak,” I sob. “I don’t want to kill myself. No. No! ”

I keep fighting, thrashing as hard as I can to get away.

“Ember, stop.” His voice is harsh and firm. “Stop, baby. It’s me. It’s… Daddy.”

My eyes fly open, and I gasp, my heart pounding like a jackhammer. “Daddy,” I whisper.

Safe. I’m safe.

As soon as I meet his gaze, I whimper. Tears stream down my face, and suddenly, I’m being smothered. Cage is on top of me, hugging me with his entire body. I cling to him, his warm skin soothing me as I continue to tremble and gasp for air.

“Shh. I got you. I’m right here. Breathe with me. Touch me, baby. Feel me here with you.” His voice is deeper than usual.

“I’m sorry,” I rush out. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t ever be sorry, baby. Never be sorry for needing me.” He strokes my hair and continues to hold me. It takes several minutes until I’m able to take a full, deep breath. When I do, he lets out a shaky one of his own. Is he upset?

“That’s my girl. I’ve got you.”

I continue to quiver underneath him, but the weight of his broad, muscular body is therapeutic, soothing me from the inside out.

“That’s my girl,” he whispers. “Daddy’s good girl. Slow breaths, firefly. Slow breaths.”

He keeps murmuring in my ear, his words distracting me from the nightmare I just endured.

I’m not sure how long we lay like this, but the air slowly shifts and begins to crackle. My core hums, and my breasts ache for his touch. I’ve never felt this way about a man. Not that I’ve been around a ton of guys. All through school, I was surrounded by girls. Mean, catty, spoiled girls. It wasn’t until I started college that I was around men on a daily basis. I was even asked out a few times. I’m sure glad I always turned them down because I never knew I could feel this way just from an innocent touch. Well, it may not be totally innocent. The long, thick shaft pressing against my thigh certainly isn’t.

Ever so gently, he presses a kiss to my neck just below my ear, and I moan. Butterflies flutter wildly low in my tummy.

“Cage.”

“I like Daddy better, firefly.” His voice is rough and strained.

Slowly, I widen my legs even more and then wrap my ankles around his waist. He’s wearing a pair of tight boxer briefs and nothing else.

“Daddy,” I whimper as he flexes his hips a fraction.

He threads his fingers in my hair, closing his fist around it. The slight sting shoots a bolt of arousal through me. I discovered I like a bit of pain while pinching my nipples one night when I was touching myself. I’ve always wondered if I’m weird because of it. Now, I have a hard time getting myself off if I’m not either fantasizing about pain or inflicting some on myself. Maybe I’m a total freak, but at the moment, I don’t really care. It feels so damn right.

“Fuck, Ember. You don’t know how badly I want to fuck you. How much I want to strip your clothes off and lick you from head to toe.”

A strangled sound escapes me, and now I’m breathing faster for a totally different reason.

“Do you know how many times I’ve stroked my cock in the shower while fantasizing about you? Then you went and told me you’re a virgin and being the fucked-up bastard that I am, all I’ve thought about since is popping that cherry of yours. Taking away your innocence and turning you into what you really are.”

My hips move against him, grinding against his length. Every so often, it rubs the perfect spot that has me seeing stars. I’ve never even come close to feeling this good when I’ve given myself orgasms.

“What am I?” I ask, trying to keep focus on his words.

Cage rises onto his elbows so he can stare down at me, his hair messy like he’s been grabbing at it.

“Mine,” he growls right before he slams his mouth onto mine.

From the second he captures my lips, he kisses me passionately. Deeply. Thoroughly.

He slides his free hand up my body, lingering briefly as his fingertips graze my breast. His cock throbs against me. I’ve never been so wet before. He doesn’t stop until he reaches my neck.

A flash of fear laces my senses when he squeezes the sides of my throat. Then he lets go, and a rush of arousal soaks my panties even more.

After giving me a final nip to my bottom lip, he slowly pulls his mouth away. We stare at each other in the dimly lit room. He must have turned on a lamp when he came in here. It’s just the right amount of light to see each other’s features. How is a man who is so dangerous, so terrifying, also so dang beautiful? And why does he make my heart pound like it’s trying to escape my chest? The way his is racing against my hand makes me think he might feel the same.

“Please don’t leave,” I whimper.

I can feel him hesitate. He’s probably pissed that he gave in to the moment. If I know one thing about Cage, it’s that he likes to be in control of everything, including his own feelings.

“Ember,” he groans.

“No. I’m firefly. Or baby. Or baby girl. I don’t like it when you call me Ember.”

Now I sound like a pouting two-year-old, but I don’t care. He can’t kiss me like that and then tuck tail and run.

“Is that so?” he asks, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes.

I smile, feeling smug as hell. “Yes. That’s so .”

Totally a two-year-old.

“Last time I checked, firefly, I make the rules in this relationship.”

I stare up at him, my fingers running over the thick silver chain hanging from his neck. “We have a relationship?”

He studies me for a long moment, then sighs and lets out a curse. “I don’t know what we have.” Cage closes his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them, there’s something vulnerable there. Something I’ve never seen in him before. It’s raw. “This is a bad idea, firefly. A really fucking bad idea.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I reach up and touch his face. “I think it’s a great idea.”

I’m not actually sure it is, but I’ve never wanted something so badly. Not only does he turn me on beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before, he also makes my Little feel safe.

“Ember.”

I narrow my eyes. “Cage.”

That gets the response I’d hoped for. He scowls at me, his jaw clenched. “I don’t like when you call me Cage.”

“If I call you Daddy, that would mean we have a relationship, so since you think it’s such a bad idea, I’ll call you Cage.”

I’m poking the bear. It’s probably a bad idea. I’ve never been one brat on purpose, but he brings it out in me. The man is just so dang stubborn.

“You’re testing me, Little girl.”

“Maybe.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. It’s kind of fun being a brat.

“It’s a bad idea, firefly.”

“Maybe. But it would be temporary. Once I’m safe, you’ll be able to send me on my way and never see me again.”

“I’m not taking your virginity, firefly. Especially if this is a temporary thing.”

Jutting out my chin, I keep my gaze pinned to his. “If it’s not you, it will be some other temporary man, I’m sure.”

Cage’s scowl deepens, and he bares his teeth like a pissed-off animal. “Say that again and I will pull down your panties and spank your ass until you’re crying and begging me to stop.”

Could this man be any more confusing? He doesn’t want to take my virginity, but he gets jealous when I talk about someone else doing it.

“I’m a grown woman. I get to decide who and when. You might be the Daddy, but I still get to call the shots over my body.”

I’m being difficult. Yet, unlike when I’m around my father or his business associates, I don’t feel the need to behave. To be quiet and invisible.

“You’re right, firefly. Your body, your choice.”

Oh. Well, I wasn’t expecting that. I figured he’d go all caveman on me. The feminist in me is proud of him. The Little girl in me wants to kick him.

“Doesn’t mean I won’t kill every single man you come across before he can even try to put his dirty hands on you.” His fingers, which have been resting over my pulse point, tighten around my throat again, bringing my attention back to the present. “And you see, baby girl, if I fuck you, I’m not just going to fuck your pretty pussy. I’m going to fuck that smart little mouth and your naughty little ass, too.”

My ass?

A shiver works its way down my spine. Why does the thought of Cage doing those things arouse me? Why am I panting so hard? I haven’t seen his dick, but I’ve felt it several times; it’s not small. The man could split me in half, and he wants to put it in my most intimate hole?

“Jesus. That fucking turns you on, firefly,” he mutters. “You’re supposed to tell me to fuck off, not get even hornier.”

Using my nails, I scrape lines down his chest hard enough to draw the lightest trail of blood. “I want to experience having a Daddy. I’ve never had one, and I may never have one after this.”

His eyebrows draw together. “Why wouldn’t you ever have one? You’re young and beautiful. There are tons of Daddies out there.”

I swallow, lowering my eyes from his. “Because it’s just better to keep this side of me a secret from the world.”

Cage’s entire body goes rigid, and he starts to shake his head. “No. Fuck that, firefly. You are who you are. I’m not saying you need to shout it from rooftops, but you sure as fuck shouldn’t keep it a secret. What are you planning to do, live an unhappy vanilla life with some guy who doesn’t even make you come? Fuck, no.”

And just like that, the moment we were having vanishes. Tears burn my eyes. I try to push him off me, but he doesn’t budge.

“Don’t push me away. Never push me away, Ember. Understand me?” he growls. When I don’t answer him, he lowers his face, so our noses are touching and I’m forced to look at him. “Do. You. Understand. Me?”

Unable to stop it, I let out a soft sob. As soon as I do, Cage rolls onto his back and pulls me on top of him. We stay silent for several minutes while he strokes my back. His cock is still hard, but we’re no longer grinding against each other, though my aching pussy wishes we still were.

“Tell me what happened to you, firefly. Why are you so scared to be who you are? To really show me your Little side.” His voice is soft yet unrelenting. He’s not going to let me get away with not telling him. Rowie has told me multiple times I should, but Cage can be a bit scary when he’s angry. And for some reason, I know if I tell him, it will set him off. Which, in a way, makes me want to tell him because I want someone else to be angry for me. My father never was. He couldn’t have cared less.

I let out a shaky breath and slowly tell him everything. The whole time, he continues to rub my back as he listens in silence. The only thing that gives away his anger is how rigid his body gets underneath me the more I speak.

When I finally finish, I close my eyes, and just like it did when I told Rowie, it feels as if another weight has been lifted off me. I’ve never talked about what I went through to anyone else, but it seems that getting it off my chest is somewhat therapeutic.

“They’re dead,” he mutters.

“No.” I run my hands over his ribs. “They aren’t worth it.”

He slides his fingers up the back of my neck into my hair and fists it again. Then he pulls, so I’m forced to lift my head and look at him. “They’re not. But you are.”

I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep from bursting into tears. Gosh, when did I become such a crier? Apparently, The Ranch brings it out in me. Or maybe it’s because I feel so safe here. Or is it because the people here, even the ones I’ve barely gotten to know, seem to care about me? I don’t remember ever having that before. And every time one of them shows me even a sliver of tenderness, I practically turn into an emotional ball of tears. It’s nice to feel something other than loneliness.

“I can’t give you forever, firefly, but if you want to know what it’s like to have a Daddy while you’re here, I can give you that.”

The lump in my throat grows bigger, and my heart aches a bit more than it did a second ago. Why do I feel disappointed? He’s giving me what I asked for. Something temporary.

Am I sad he isn’t demanding to keep me for the rest of our lives? That would be silly. He’s not my type. At least he’s not the type my father has planned for me. Cage is the complete opposite of everything my father would choose. We come from two different worlds. Yet, somehow, this world is where I feel most at home.

Thankfully, he lets go of my hair, so I lower my head back onto his chest, listening to his steady beating heart. It’s easier when I don’t have to meet his gaze.

“I want to know what it’s like to have a Daddy. So yes, I accept,” I finally reply. “Thank you, Cage.”

His dick throbs beneath me. Does this mean he will have sex with me?

“Starting now, it’s always Daddy. The only time it would ever be acceptable for you to use my name is if we were in a public setting, but we won’t be going anywhere, so that doesn’t apply. If you use my name here on The Ranch, I’ll take away a Good Girl Point.”

My nipples bud against him. “But what about in front of your family? What should I call you then?”

“Daddy. My brothers are all Daddies, too. They won’t even bat an eye. Consider them your platonic uncles while you’re here. Although, if you’re naughty when I’m not around, they will be allowed to discipline you.”

I snap my head up to look at him. “What? They’ll spank me?”

Cage reaches up and cups my chin in his palm. “No. Not unless that’s something you and I agree on. I’m not opposed to them spanking you if you deserve it. You get to decide whether that’s a hard limit or not. Otherwise, they may put you in timeout, take away Good Girl Points, or make you write lines.”

My tummy flutters, and my clit tingles, but my heart is racing. What have I gotten myself into? I’m not sure what I expected if Cage became my Daddy, but this wasn’t it. I should have known it would be intense. Everything about the man is. All he has to do is look at me a certain way to get me panting. What’s troubling me the most, though, is I don’t hate it. Would I want one of his brothers to spank me? Cage hasn’t even spanked me yet, so I don’t know how I’ll feel about it when the time comes.

“What are Good Girl Points?”

He grins. “They are points you can earn or have taken away. If you collect five points in one day, you get a reward. If you lose five points in one day, you get punished. However, there are some things you would be punished for right away that don’t apply to your points. Safety things. Or if you’re really naughty.”

I frown and pinch my eyebrows together. “I’m not naughty.”

The way he bites his lip makes me think he’s trying not to laugh. How dare he. I’m the goodest girl in the world.

“In the morning, we need to go over your rules. I also have a journal for you. It will give you a place to put thoughts and feelings that you might be too nervous to tell me. We’ll also discuss your limits. For right now, though, you need sleep.”

Does he seriously think I’m going to be able to sleep? He’s my Daddy. I have a Daddy. There’s no way I’m going to be able to doze off. I have questions. And I want to know what my rules are. The thought of having someone set rules for me has always made me squirmy.

“I’m not tired,” I murmur.

Cage lets out a sigh. “I can already tell you’re going to be sitting on a red bottom quite often, firefly. Quit arguing and close your eyes.”

The corners of my lips twitch as I obey his command. He shifts slightly, as if he’s reaching for something. A second later, he taps my lips.

“Open, baby girl.”

As soon as I do, he slides something soft into my mouth. A pacifier. The same one he left for me in the playroom that I was too nervous to use. I’d thought about it. Practically non-stop while I was in that room until Rowie came in.

I blink several times, chewing on the silicone to get a feel for it.

“Just relax and let yourself experience it. You’re safe to be Little here.”

His words soothe me. It doesn’t take long before I find myself gently sucking on the nipple, my eyes getting so heavy I can’t keep them open for another moment.