17. Ember

17

EMBER

I ’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything Cage shared. I want to cry for the little boy who was abandoned. Who had to fight just to survive for so long. I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if Deke hadn’t shown up. I have no idea who the man is, but I kind of want to hug him.

Every time Cage told me what a bad man he was, I wanted to shake him. He has no idea how amazing he is. But I do. Even if I do give him a hard time. It’s not hard to see that Cage is bright. He’s smart in that Sheldon Cooper kind of way. All of the men here are. It’s why they struggle with emotions. They function on logic and facts.

I quirk an eyebrow. “What about Rowie? She’s not like you guys.”

Rowie is smart, there’s no doubt about that, but she’s different than the men. She wears her heart on her sleeve.

“Rowie doesn’t do what we do. She came into this family by accident. We couldn’t leave her where she was. Deke let us keep her and made Theo and me her guardians since we’re the ones who found her.”

“Found her?” I ask hesitantly. I’m not sure I want to know, but at the same time, I do.

“Yeah. Behind a dumpster. She was beaten and bruised and starving. We couldn’t leave her.”

I sniffle and swipe at my eyes. “Poor Rowie. Oh my God. She’s so bubbly and happy.”

Cage stares off into the distance, his gaze unfocused. “She still has her demons. We all do. She’s come a long way, though.”

Needing to be closer to him, I push the covers back and crawl onto his lap. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me and snuggle me into him.

“My problems seem so stupid in comparison,” I whisper.

His grip on me tightens, and then he pulls back, gives me a sharp swat on the butt, and glares at me.

I yelp and reach back to rub the sting away. “Ouchie. You spanked me!”

“That wasn’t a spanking, firefly. It was a warning. If I ever hear you belittling your own demons, I’ll take my belt to your bottom. Do you understand me?”

There isn’t an ounce of give in his stern voice. I shiver and quickly nod, though my core flutters at his scolding. Why do I like it when he talks to me in that tone? Like I’m a naughty Little girl. It shouldn’t turn me on, but my damp panties are proof it does.

“I’m sorry.”

He leans forward until our lips are nearly touching. Heat pools between my legs. When I shift to try and find some kind of relief, the hard length of his cock presses against my bottom. I wiggle again, and his hands flex on my hips, holding me still.

“You really need a spanking,” he growls.

I shrug, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. “But I’m such a good girl.”

“Jesus.” He huffs. “Yeah, you’re a good girl. You’re also really fucking naughty sometimes. Which probably means this is a good time to go over your rules.”

My nipples tingle and bud under the thin material of my sleep shirt. There is seriously something wrong with me if I’m getting turned on by the topic of him giving me rules. Maybe I need therapy. Or an orgasm. I like that idea better.

“This is what I’ve written down so far. Read them aloud, and we can discuss them if needed,” he says, handing me a pad of paper that is full of his writing.

I glance at him and bite my lip, suddenly nervous. He’s taking this Daddy thing seriously.

“Number one, no lying or hiding things from Daddy. Number two, bedtime is ten o’clock sharp and daily naptime from one to two.” I screw up my face. “I don’t take naps.”

“You do now. Keep reading, firefly.”

Well, isn’t he bossy? Bossy McBosserton.

I inwardly smile at that. I like that nickname for him.

A sharp pinch on my bottom makes me jump. “I don’t know what thought you just had, but I’m almost positive it was naughty.”

Well. That’s just great. Now he can read my mind.

“Read, baby.”

“Number three, Daddy will choose Ember’s clothes and pajamas every day. He will also dress her.” Heat creeps over my cheeks. I kind of like that one. “Number four, Daddy will give Ember baths. She will no longer take showers or bathe alone.”

I’m going to need to change my panties by the time I’m done with this.

“Number five, Ember will not touch her pussy without Daddy’s permission.” I scoff. “What? Why?”

Cage raises his eyebrows. “Because it’s a rule. Daddy is in charge of your pleasure now.”

“But you said you won’t have sex with me.”

“I said I wouldn’t take your virginity, firefly. I never said we couldn’t do other things.”

“Oh,” I murmur. “Huh. Okay. Although I’m not so sure I like that rule.”

He chuckles. “Most Little girls don’t. Keep reading.”

“Number six, safety rules, no wearing socks without traction grips in the house. No running in the house. Ember must hold the railing when going up and down stairs. No playing outside without SPF 70 sunblock on. No going in the pool without a caregiver present and Ember must wear arm floaties. No playing on the playground without a caregiver present. No using knives. No cooking. No walking around with a lollipop in mouth.” I pause and look at him, trying to fight a grin. “Maybe you should just wrap me in bubble wrap and call it a day.”

He narrows his eyes and points to the list. “Read the next rule.”

I sigh. “Rule seven, no sassing Daddy, especially about the safety rules. Seriously?” I roll my eyes. “You’re over the top.”

“Oh, baby girl, you have no fucking idea just how over the top I am. Keep going.”

“Rule eight, when Daddy is home, he will feed Ember her meals. Rule nine, Ember will write in her journal every day.” I frown. “But I don’t have a journal.”

Cage reaches over to the nightstand and hands me a book with My Little Journal printed on the front. I run my fingers over the fluffy clouds and pastel sky on the cover. Just looking at it makes me happy. “When Rowie first came to us, she didn’t speak. She was too afraid. Theo got the idea to give her a journal so she could at least get her thoughts and feelings out in a way she felt safe. We only read the pages she allows.”

“Will you read mine?”

“Do you want me to?”

I think about it. It might be easier to share things with him that I otherwise might not say out loud. “I think I’m okay with it.”

He nods. “Good. If there’s ever a page you don’t want me to read, you can mark it and I will skip it. Just remember, no secrets, though.”

“‘Kay.” My voice is small, and with each rule I read, I find myself slipping deeper and deeper into that headspace. I’ve always heard the saying rules are made for breaking, but all I can think is that with each one I read, the safer and happier I feel. “Rule nine, no swearing. Rule ten, Daddy will help Ember in the bathroom. This means brushing her teeth, wiping her bottom, and doing her hair.”

Whipping my gaze from the paper to him, I shake my head. “You’re not helping me in the bathroom. No. That’s not happening.”

Ever so calmly, he reaches out and strokes my heated cheek. “Why not, firefly? What’s so bad about it?”

My mouth falls open. Does he really not understand? The man is basically a genius; he should know why I don’t want him in the bathroom with me. Did he not get the picture when I screamed at him in a rest-stop bathroom? The man sure is dense sometimes.

“Because that’s… It’s…”

“It’s what, baby? It’s embarrassing?”

“Yes!”

He chuckles and continues to run his thumb over my cheek. “You do know that a lot of Daddies take care of their Little girls in the most intimate ways, don’t you? Some Littles wear diapers or pull-ups. Some even use them.”

If I could burst into a ball of flames right now, I would. Does he expect me to do that? Cage likes to be in control, but does that include having a say on using the toilet?

“Look at me, firefly.”

I do, my bottom lip lodged between my teeth. If I bite down any harder, I’m going to make myself to bleed. As if he knows it, he tugs it free and gently rubs the tip of his finger over it.

“I want you to answer something, and I want the truth.”

Shoot. I’m not sure if I like where this is going. “Okay.”

He nods. “When I walked in on you at the rest stop, you were embarrassed?”

“Yes,” I answer quietly.

“Were you also turned on because I was there while you were doing one of the most intimate things possible? Have you gotten turned on whenever I’ve talked about helping you in the bathroom?”

Crap .

I should lie. Deny it. But he’ll know. Cage seems to understand me more than I’d like to admit. If I tell him the truth, though, what does that say about me? Why are my wants and needs so unusual?

“The truth, baby girl.”

“Yes. Okay, yes.” I bring my hands to my face, covering it so I don’t have to look at him. “I got turned on.”

A few seconds pass before he wraps his large hands around my wrists and lowers them.

“So why are you so against me doing it?”

I narrow my eyes. “You know why. It’s embarrassing, and… what if I toot? Or have to do the other thing?”

The corners of his lips twitch like he’s trying to keep from smiling. “Do you think I’m going to change my mind about you being the cutest Little girl ever if you pass gas? Going potty is a normal human function. It’s a Daddy’s job to make sure his girl is cleaned up properly. After doing either.”

My eyes widen, and I might die of humiliation. Cause of death, mortification.

“I would never do anything if you decided it’s a hard limit, but I’d like you to at least try it before you shut the idea down. I’m a hands-on Daddy. I’m also the type to smother you with my attention. You’ll probably hate me for it at some point, but you’ll get over it because of how much you love it, too. I’ll want to be involved in everything to do with you. I’ll even want to help you during your period. Part of it is because taking care of you makes me happy, and part of it is because the embarrassment and arousal are part of this dynamic and what makes it so special.”

I’m touched that he wants to be so involved. But the bathroom? My period? Is it a hard limit for me? My mind screams yes, but the flutter of butterflies in my tummy and the dampness of my panties say something different.

“Think of it this way,” he says, his voice tight like it’s hard for him to speak. “I’m only your temporary Daddy, so even if it is embarrassing, once you leave, you’ll never have to face me again. I’d be willing to bet, though, that you find that level of submission to be addicting.”

Why does my chest ache from his words? I’m the one who asked for this. I pretty much begged him to be my Daddy for the short time that I’m here. So, why does it make me want to throw up when I think about having to leave him?

“Okay. But I can decide it’s a hard limit at any time?”

He nods. “Yeah, firefly. Ultimately, you call the shots in this dynamic. You draw the lines, and I stay within them. That doesn’t mean I won’t push you, though. I’m going to test every single one of your boundaries, but all you have to do is say red and everything stops.”

Huh. I never thought of it like that.

“The last few rules are basic things, like telling me if something is wrong, coming to me with any problem you have, making sure you ask questions if you have them. We’ll add more as we go. I’m sure I’ll think of plenty more.”

I giggle because, of course, he will. Cage loves rules and structure. It’s how he functions.

“I need to know your limits. On the next page, I wrote down a list of things I want you to check yes, no, or CNC on. If you check no, it’s a hard limit and we won’t do it. If you check yes, it means you’re okay with it. CNC means you’re giving me consent to do it even if you tell me no. The only thing that will stop me from doing it to you is your safeword, which is red. Once you’re done with that, we will begin our dynamic full-time.”

My clit tingles as I turn the page. He hands me a pen and silently waits while I go over the list.

Spanking: Yes

Timeout: Yes

Pacifiers: Yes

Bottles: Yes

Butt Plugs: Yes

I stare at the next few lines, biting my lip as I squeeze my thighs together. Wow, he went really in-depth with this. A lot of the things on here I’ve thought about but never even considered would ever happen in real life. Then again, I didn’t think I’d ever have a Daddy.

Diapers and/or Pull-ups: CNC

Enemas: CNC

Using the toilet in front of Daddy: CNC

Being punished by Daddy’s brothers: CNC

My face is flaming as I circle my answers, yet my pussy is tingling. What is wrong with me? I want to say, “hell no” to it, but also, I kind of want it forced on me.

As I go down each line, I get more squirmy by the second. When I finally finish and hand the paper back to him, I’m practically panting. And his smug smile tells me he can tell just how turned on I am, too.

“Do you have any questions?”

So many. I could probably fill up that entire notebook with all the things I want to ask. But something tells me I just need to trust him and let myself experience everything as it comes. After all, I can always use my safeword.

“I’m good.”

He studies me for a moment before he nods. “I will let my brothers know what we are doing so they have a heads-up. They’re all experienced Daddies, so nothing we do around them will shock them. Being the kind of men they are, you need to expect them to be a bit over-the-top protective of you, just like they are with Rowie. I expect you to obey them if they tell you to do something. That’s also a rule. I’ll write it down later. Are we clear?”

“Yes.”

He cups my chin and gives it a firm squeeze. “From now on, it’s ‘yes, Daddy.’”

I swallow thickly, my nipples aching from his light scolding. “Yes, Daddy.”

He smiles and leans down to kiss the tip of my nose. “Good.”

My tummy flutters and my core is so needy it’s almost painful.

“When is your next period? Is it usually heavy or light? I think a diaper would be best when you’re on it. Do you get bad cramps?”

Letting out a small squeak, I cover my flaming face. “Daddyyyy.”

Cage chuckles. “I love it when you get all embarrassed. It’s fucking adorable. Now, we’re going to go potty, and I’m going to get you ready for the day while you answer all my period questions. Then I have to leave for a few hours. You’ll be able to hang out with Rowie today. Theo and Jasper will be here to keep an eye on you two.”

My heart comes to a skidding halt. “Wait, what?”

Cage gets out of bed, the outline of his erection temporarily distracting me. He leans over and pulls me to the edge before he picks me up and carries me on his hip like he would a small child. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist and snuggle into his chest.

“It’s only for a few hours.”

I start to rub my thumb over my chin. Why is he leaving? Does he need a break from me already? Maybe I’m being too needy. No, Cage has told me he likes needy.

As soon as he sets me on my feet in front of the toilet, he notices my fidgeting. Of course he does. Cage sees everything .

“Why are you worried, baby?” he asks as he hooks his thumbs in the waistband of my panties and pulls them to my knees.

“I’m not worried,” I scoff, then look up at him with pleading eyes. “Can I go with you?”

When the heck did I become so attached to this man that I didn’t want him to leave me for a few hours?

I’m so distracted I barely realize it as he pushes me to sit on the toilet, and I start peeing without thought. It’s not until I’m nearly done that I squeal and bring my hands to my face.

Cage chuckles and reaches for the toilet paper. He’s actually going to clean me up. Which means he’s going to touch me down there. Not directly, but he will still see everything. A shiver runs down my spine at that thought. Can I be that submissive? Despite how embarrassing it is, it’s also a turn-on that he wants to do something so intimate. I never imagined that being Little would include stuff like this. Not in real life, anyway.

Without warning, he leans over my shoulder and pulls me into him, then quickly reaches down to dry me. As his touch brushes over my bare pussy, I nearly moan.

“It’s not safe to take you anywhere at the moment. This will be no different than the last few days that you’ve played with Rowie and I’ve been in my office. I’ll have my phone on me the whole time, and you’ll be able to reach me any time you want. You have the burner phone I gave you, and my brothers will call me at the drop of a hat if you ask them to. Okay?”

I sigh and nod as he pulls my panties up and over my waist, then leads me to the sink to wash his hands and brush my teeth, which, of course, he does for me, too. And the entire time, all I can think about is how I’ve never felt so seen and understood in my entire life.