12. Cage

12

CAGE

C age: What information do you have for me?

I drop my phone on the worn desk and turn my attention to the fixed baby monitor camera mounted on one of the tree branches. Since I’ve come to my office, I’ve gotten nothing done other than watching Ember on the security cameras and sending a text to Ruth. What I should be doing is digging for my own information instead of relying on our CIA handler, but I’m so fucking enthralled by the Little girl in the playroom.

So far, Ember has only explored the room, though she’s been spending most of her time by the dolls. She’s also gone over to the art table a couple of times to check out the pacifier I left her. There are so many questions I want to ask to learn about her Little. I want to get to know both the woman and the Little girl. I also want to keep her. I’ve never wanted to keep anyone in my life. Not like this. Not like I want her to belong to me in every single way possible.

She deserves so much more than me. I can’t give her the city life she’s used to. With me, she’d be locked down and smothered. Kept on this property ninety percent of the time because I know that’s where she’s safest. It’s ridiculous to think she’d want that kind of life. Hell, she’s only twenty-two. Ember hasn’t even begun to live her life yet. As much as I’m drawn to her and have this overpowering need to Daddy her, I have to remember that this is temporary. While she’s here, I’ll get my Daddy fix. Once she’s gone, I’ll continue living my life here while she returns home to DC.

“What are you doing?”

I have one good thing going for me after Ember leaves. I’ll always have this Little girl to brighten my day.

Rowie shuffles in, a bright smile on her face that warms my heart. She has on a footed bear onesie with the hood pulled up. The little ears flap about as she moves, and I can’t help but laugh. Fuck, I love this girl.

“Oh no, a bear,” I cry out, holding my hands up defensively.

Rowie giggles. “I’m not a real bear, silly. Sheesh. For such a badass, you sure get scared easily.”

Narrowing my gaze, I fight the smile playing at my lips. “Rowena Black, no swearing.”

She stops and stares at me, then rolls her eyes dramatically. My palm twitches. As it often does around her. We’ve never spanked Rowie, though. When my brothers and I realized she was Little, we sat down as a family and went through boundaries, rules, and limits with her. Because of her past, we didn’t even present spankings as one of her punishments if she misbehaved. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to give her a good hard swat every now and then. Lovingly, of course. Because even when she’s naughty, she knows we’re going to love her no matter what. We’ve made sure to reassure her over the years.

“Such a buzzkill,” she murmurs as she rounds my desk.

Then she throws her arms around me, and all thoughts of punishing her go out the window because I’m too busy melting for her.

“I’ve missed you,” I whisper as I pull her onto my lap.

“I know,” she says confidently.

When I shoot her a stern look, she breaks into a grin. “I missed you, too. I always miss you guys when you’re gone.”

Sometimes I forget out fucking lucky I am. How differently my life could have gone if Deke hadn’t shown up at that shitty detention facility. I’d be dead if it hadn’t been for The Agency. I was already on the fast track to being six feet under when I was recruited. I never would have known what it’s like to be missed. To have people to come home to. It means everything to me.

“What are you up to today?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Mostly wandering around terrorizing you guys. Ghost took away one of my Good Girl Points, so I put slime in his boot, then got the heck out of there before he found it.”

“Rowena,” I scold weakly because it’s actually funny as hell. I’ve been the victim of her sliming my shoes. While I didn’t find it amusing at the time, I wish like hell I could be a fly on the wall when Ghost discovers his gift.

“Well, he was being grumpy for no good reason. Maybe he needs to get laid.”

“Rowie!” I bark, pressing my fingertips to my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Little girl.”

She wiggles off my lap and goes over to a chair across from me, her expression turning serious. “You seem to really like Ember. Is she going to be your Little girl?”

The cords in my neck tense, and my smile falls. “I do like her, but no, she’s not going to be my Little girl.”

Those words taste like poison on my tongue. Why does it piss me off that I said that?

Rowie picks at the fur on her onesie; her gaze lowered from me. “Maybe she should be. I mean, you like her, and she likes you. She needs a good Daddy, I think. Her eyes are sad a lot, but not when she looks at you.”

Leave it to this Little girl to notice things that no one else does. “Just because I like her doesn’t mean I should be her Daddy. She’s only here because she needs protection.”

“You like her more than just a client.”

She’s right about that. I want to do things to Ember that I haven’t ever done with any other Little before. I don’t want to just play with her. I want to completely own her.

“Ember is a special woman. She deserves more than what I can give her. She’s from a whole different world than me.”

Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll start to remember it.

Rowie pulls a face, then looks up and glares at me. “More than you can give her? You can give her everything, Cage. You’re one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever known. And as someone who was born into a whole different world , I know first-hand that it doesn’t mean anything. Just because it’s covered with silver and gold doesn’t mean it’s good. In fact, it could be downright hell.”

My heart cracks, and I have to blink several times as I swallow the pain swelling in my chest. I’d do anything to erase the pain Rowena went through. To make her forget all the abuse.

I get up and stride over to her, leaning down to look her in the eye. “You deserved so much more.”

She searches my face with her deep brown eyes, then lets out a shaky breath. “I know,” she whispers.

Taking a step back to lean against the edge of the desk, I shake my head. “I’m not a good person, Row. I’m tainted with blood. She’s so fucking pure and sweet. I’d ruin her.”

“You haven’t ruined me.” Her voice is small and soft. “You won’t know unless you take the risk.”

That’s the thing about me. I was trained not to take risks. Everything I do is calculated and planned to eliminate all danger. If I didn’t do that, I’d be dead by now. We all would. The problem is, as much as I want to take a chance with Ember, if it doesn’t work out, it would be my heart and soul that dies, and I think that might be even worse. Besides, with my job, I’m often gone from home, and she couldn’t come with me. It would be too dangerous. And expecting her to stay at The Ranch while I’m working wouldn’t be fair to her. Even if it is nearly time for me to start slowing down. There would still be jobs I’d have to leave her and travel to. As obsessed as I already am with Ember, I can’t imagine how bad I’d be if she were mine.

“She’s only here temporarily, Row. It’s just a job.” I think it is. It doesn’t really feel like one.

Rowena nods, her eyes lowering to her lap. “I get it. She’s just so sweet. I’ve never had a friend before. It’s kind of nice having another girl here.”

Something heavy settles in the pit of my stomach. “Rowie,” I say softly. “Are you unhappy here?”

Her head snaps up to meet my gaze, and she quickly shakes her head. “Not at all. I love my life here. It’s the best life I ever could have imagined.”

My shoulders drop with relief.

“It’s just,” she adds slowly. “Sometimes, I wish I had friends. Someone to play with. Another girl to talk to. It can be lonely being the only one.”

Fuck. How did I not realize?

“Does Theo know you feel this way?”

I’m pretty sure he would have said something if he knew. Rowie and Theo are even closer than I am with her, so maybe she’s talked to him about it.

“No. He worries enough about me.”

I reach out and cup her chin. “We all worry about you. You’re our girl. We all love you.”

She smiles and leans into my hand. “I know. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I’ve been here that I haven’t felt loved.”

My phone rings, and when I pull it out of my pocket to check who it is, I wince.

Pointing at Rowie, I shoot her a stern look. “Don’t move a muscle. We’re not done talking about this.”

Turning my back, I hit the accept button. “What do you have for me?”

“Well, hello to you too, Cage,” Ruth snaps.

I smile, pleased that I’ve already irritated her. It’s almost as fun as irritating Ember. Not quite, though.

“Have you found out anything?” I ask.

Ruth sighs, and I can already tell the answer is no. Instead of being annoyed that she’s about to tell me she has nothing, I’m fucking thrilled. The longer we go without resolving this, the longer Ember stays. The Ranch is impenetrable, so she’s safe as long as she’s here.

“I haven’t got much. I believe the threat is coming from Europe, but I haven’t been able to narrow it down,” she says. “I have people working on it.”

Running a hand over my face, I stare out my office window at the courtyard that all our houses look over. One of the playground swings sways in the breeze. Ember would look so fucking cute playing out there, wearing an adorable outfit that I chose for her. Rowie would love it, too. As much as I hate to think it, maybe we aren’t enough for Rowie. Maybe she needs some Little friends.

The overcast skies have grown more angry since Ember and I walked over from my house. Looks like it’s going to storm tonight.

“See if Zeke can recall anything specific. Has he had any run-ins with someone based in Europe? And can you send me copies of the threats? I’ll have Cassian examine them, too.”

“Sending it over now.” Almost as soon as she says it, my encrypted email inbox sends an alert. Ruth might be a pain in the ass, but the woman is efficient as hell.

“Thanks. Keep me posted,” I say before I end the call.

After sliding my phone back into my pocket, I spin around to finish my conversation with Rowie. Except when I do, she’s gone.

Why doesn’t that surprise me?

“Hey, man.” Jasper strolls in with a folder in his hand.

I glance behind him. “Did you see Rowie out there?”

Jasper looks behind his shoulder and then back at me. “No. Was she supposed to be out there?”

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “No. The brat was supposed to keep her ass right in this chair while I took a call.”

“When has she ever stayed where she’s supposed to?” Jasper asks.

True.

“When did you get home?” I’ll have to corner Rowie later. If she’s lonely, I need to do something to fix it.

“Late last night.”

I study my brother. The circles under his eyes are darker than usual. Which means he didn’t sleep last night after he got home.

“The explosion in Mexico have anything to do with you?”

The corners of Jasper’s mouth twitch. “I don’t know why you automatically assume it was me.”

We grin at each other, both knowing full well that the explosion was all him. We’ve been on the trail of a sex trafficker for months, but every time we think we’ve got a pulse on his next move, he seems to be one step ahead. We still send him a friendly little explosive message every time. He’s only down to a dozen or so more properties to hide in that we know about.

“You need to sleep. You look like shit.”

My brother snorts. “Yeah, because sleep is what I excel at.”

I don’t argue with him because I can tell him he needs to rest until I’m blue in the face. Unfortunately, he’s the one who has to deal with the demons still torturing him when he closes his eyes.

“Then go get laid. That will help you pass out.”

Jasper smirks at me. “Maybe you need to get laid. Make you less grumpy.”

Narrowing my gaze, I flip him off. Getting laid sounds great. Except the idea of fucking some random woman makes me sick to my stomach. The only woman I want touching my dick is in the other room. And I’ve already been away from her for too long. Every second I’m not with her, it’s more difficult to breathe.

How have I let myself become so obsessed with her? I want to possess her. Hear her cry my name as I bring her to the peak of ecstasy. And yet, despite wanting all of that, I know she’s off-limits. Maybe it’s a good thing I’ve never cared much about limits.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” I say over my shoulder as I stride toward the doorway.

“Got it,” Jasper calls out. “Good talk, bro.”