11. Ember

11

EMBER

I s this really happening? Did I seriously tell Cage how old my Little is? He didn’t blink an eye, though. Oh, God. My stomach twists, and I think I might be sick. I’m not sure if it’s with excitement or humiliation. Maybe both.

I’m not sure why I’m embarrassed. Rowena is clearly Little in front of all the men, and they indulge her the entire time. Maybe being Little isn’t as rare as I thought? Maybe I’m not a total freak.

He gave me an out. A safeword. I’ve read about them before. Considering what a control freak Cage is, I’m surprised he’s offered me one. Then again, consent is everything when it comes to this lifestyle. Even consensual non-consent should be consented to. And I have a feeling that even though Cage doesn’t play by the rules very much in life, he would never do anything I didn’t really want him to.

The opportunity to slip into my smaller headspace sounds perfect. I need it. Badly. Before Cage came into the room, I was pouring my heart out to Spike because he never judges me when I’m overwhelmed like this. Surprisingly, dragons are very good listeners.

I don’t know if I can let go in front of Cage, though. I’ve never been Little around anyone. What if I do it wrong? What if he laughs at me?

Tears prickle my eyes, and my sinuses begin to burn again. Gosh, I’m such a mess. I feel like I could spend the entire day crying. Which is a clear indicator that I definitely need to regress. It always helps.

There’s a quick tap on the door before Cage walks in like he owns the place, but then again, I guess he does.

As soon as his gaze lands on me and he notices my tears, he rushes over to me. Without warning, he picks me up, then sits on the edge of the bed, settling me onto his lap. My heart races but the warmth of him surrounding me soothes the panic that’s been building.

“Why are you crying, baby girl?” he asks softly as he strokes my back.

Before I have the chance, he uses his thumb to wipe my cheeks. It’s such a small, Daddyish thing to do, and for a second, it makes me wish he actually was my Daddy. Cage might be a bit different, but something tells me he’d be a good one.

“Everything,” I say, sniffling. “I’ve never been Little in front of anyone, so even though I want to, I’m not sure if I can.”

He tightens his arms around me so my head rests against his chest, and his steady heartbeat gives me something to focus on.

One… two… three… four…

“It’s okay if you can’t, but why don’t we go over to the playroom and see how you feel? I can even leave you alone there if that would help you more comfortable.”

I want to tell him I’m perfectly comfortable right here on his lap, but I keep that to myself.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask.

Cage rests his chin on the top of my head. “Are you saying I’m usually an asshole? That hurts. I’m usually such a delight.”

Giggling, I look up at him. “I never called you an asshole. But compared to the guy who kidnapped me, you’re being super nice.”

The corners of his lips twitch. “Didn’t kidnap you, firefly.”

I rest my head on his chest again and sigh. “I’m sorry you got dragged into babysitting me. I know this isn’t your normal job. It seems like I’m always a burden.”

Why am I always a burden to people? Cage didn’t want me. But he got stuck with me, and now he has to deal with me being an emotional wreck who has random panic attacks. Lucky him.

Cage reaches down and cups my chin, forcing me to look at him. Our faces are only inches apart, giving me the perfect view of his strong chin and dark eyes. Would it be weird if I ran my fingers over his beard?

“I didn’t get dragged into anything. I could have turned it down if I truly wanted to. And while it might not be a normal mission, I’m enjoying my time with you. You’re a special Little girl, firefly. You deserve better than the life your asshole father has given you.”

His words penetrate my heart. I know he’s right about that.

“My father lost the love of his life when my mom died. It wasn’t right that he sent me away after that, but I think he did what he thought was best. Before I left, he told me that when all of this is over, he wants to work on our relationship.” I sigh. “But then he let you kidnap me, so I don’t know how much weight I should put into that.”

Cage laughs. “I didn’t kidnap you, Little girl. I’m starting to think you have a thing about kidnapping. Is it some kind of kink of yours I should know about?”

I burst into giggles and cover my face, my cheeks hot against my palms. “No, definitely not.”

And just like that, with a little teasing, the mood in the room lifts and I’m smiling instead of crying.

“Come on, firefly. You’re going to be so excited when you see the playroom.” He sets me on my feet. “Do you need to go potty before we walk over?”

I open my mouth to remind him about boundaries, but that’s not what comes out.

“Nope. I went potty a little bit ago.”

My entire face heats, and I duck my head. Instead of making a big deal of it, he takes me by the hand and leads me out of the room.

“Wait, I’m still in my pajamas.” I stop and look down at myself, horrified that I forgot I haven’t gotten dressed yet.

“Baby girl, the only people who are going to see you are Rowie and my brothers. None of us cares if you’re in your pajamas.”

“But…”

He studies me for a second, then turns me back toward the room. “Okay, I’m picking out your clothes and helping you get dressed.”

Wait, what?

“I can do it.”

Ignoring me, he heads straight for the closet. “Little girls don’t pick out their clothes, and they certainly don’t dress themselves. That’s their Daddy’s job… Or their caretaker.”

Right. Because he’s not my Daddy, and I need to remember that. But getting me dressed? What panties do I have on? Oh yeah, I’m wearing my pink polka-dot cotton briefs. Whew. At least they aren’t ratty. They’re damp, though. Shoot. He’ll be able to see.

As soon as he notices me breathing faster, he’s right in front of me, concern etched on his face. “Firefly, breathe. I’m just going to get you dressed, okay? I’ll close my eyes.”

I can do this.

“Do you remember what your safeword is?”

I meet his gaze and nod. “Red.”

“Good girl. You can say it at any time if you need things to stop. Otherwise, I expect you to obey me. If you’re naughty or break the rules, you’ll be disciplined. Okay?”

Disciplined… Like spanked? I squeeze my thighs together as those pesky butterflies erupt in my tummy again. Why does being spanked by Cage arouse me? His hands are huge. Surely it would hurt.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Lift your arms up.”

I do, and when I look at him, he closes his eyes and pulls my shirt over my head. Then he fumbles with the clothes he picked out until he finds the top and lowers it over me.

“Wait. I need a bra.”

“You don’t need a bra, baby girl. If we leave the property, you can wear a bra. While you’re here, you can go without.”

As soon as my shirt is on, he opens his eyes and meets my gaze. The only time I’ve ever gone without a bra is in bed. Although it’s not like I really need one. My boobs are small and boring. There’s not much there to perk up. Probably a good thing he closed his eyes. He would have been disappointed with the view.

When I don’t argue, he tucks his thumbs into my pajama shorts and pulls them down. Then he reaches for my panties, and I hold my breath. As soon as he takes them off, he’s going to see the wet spot. I’m going to die of embarrassment at the age of twenty-two.

He closes his eyes once again, and I let out a relieved breath. Even without being able to see, he dresses me quickly and efficiently. As soon as he’s done, he takes my dirty clothes and tosses them in the bathroom hamper, then comes out with a hairbrush.

Every movement he makes is confident and calculated. He’s efficient with everything he does. Would he be like that in bed? Efficient and detailed?

My cheeks heat at the thought. Why am I thinking about Cage in bed? When did I become such a pervert? I’ve never fantasized about any man, but I guess Cage is the exception. And I’d bet my last stuffie he’s an exceptional lover. Which is saying a lot because Spike is my best friend. I’d never take the risk of losing him.

“Do you want a ponytail, pigtails, or two braids?”

My mouth falls open as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “You know how to braid?”

“Of course. Been doing Rowie’s hair forever. Although, she says I never get her pigtails even.”

I purse my lips, fighting the smile I feel inside. “I want pigtails.”

After he has me stand between his legs, he starts brushing my hair, and every so often, something hard presses into my bottom.

“Is Rowie in Little Space a lot?” I ask, wanting to distract myself from the fact that his dick is hard.

“She lives in Little Space pretty much all the time. It’s how she copes best.”

Scrunching my nose, I bring my thumb to my chin and start to rub it. “Copes?”

He’s gentle as he works on my hair, taking the time to comb out all the tangles without pulling.

“Rowie went through hell before she came to us. If Theo and I hadn’t found her when we did, she would have been killed at the hands of her foster parents.”

My chest aches for her. She’s so small and sweet. It’s hard to imagine anyone ever wanting to hurt her.

“Rowie is close with all of us, but she’s closest to me and Theo. We’re the ones who found her and brought her home.”

“Wow,” I say sadly, shaking my head. “I’m a real asshole for thinking my life was so hard when it sounds like she had it so much worse. I’m so glad you found her.”

He tightens my pigtails and reaches below my armpits, lifting me onto his powerful thighs so my feet are dangling in the air.

“Look at me, firefly.”

I turn my gaze up to him, and like every other time, I’m breathless when he locks eyes with me.

“Just because your circumstances were different doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have feelings about your upbringing. Abandonment is abuse, whether it’s on the streets or at a school. You deserved so much more than what he gave you.”

Biting my lip, I offer a small, sad smile and nod. “Thanks.”

“Let’s go check out the playroom, yeah?”

H e wasn’t kidding when he said I would like it. Who wouldn’t? It’s the playroom of all playrooms. A Little’s dream come true.

My mouth has been hanging open since the moment we stepped in. The threshold is a wide arch with no doors. Just across the hall from it is another sitting room with another enormous TV mounted to the wall. Boring.

“This is…” I have no words.

I’ve imagined what a playroom would look like in my mind, but never would I have envisioned this. Someone hand-painted an intricate forest on the walls. Trees, similar to the ones I saw when we drove up to the house; birds of all kinds, and even tiny rabbits. 3D branches stretch up near the ceiling with twinkle lights hanging from them like a starry night sky. A stuffed squirrel is perched near the partial trunk that appears to be coming right out of the wall.

“A magical forest,” I murmur.

Cage smiles down at me. “Go on. You can explore. We already made sure Rowie was okay with you playing in here.”

Tears well up as I take a tentative step inside. Rowie doesn’t know me, yet she’s willing to share such a special place with me. I’ll have to make sure to thank her later.

The forest theme runs all through the room, from the wooden rocking chair that looks like it was chopped up and made from small logs to the area in the opposite corner built like the opening of a tree trunk. Pillows and blankets are stacked inside it, making the perfect reading nest.

My heart flutters, and I fidget with the hem of my shirt as I take it all in. I could live in this room forever and I’d die happy.

In an opposite corner of the room, there’s a stump that’s varnished. As I get closer and squint to read the writing on it, my eyebrows shoot up.

Naughty Seat.

Sheesh. Even the timeout chair matches the theme. That was… thoughtful.

“I love it here.”

Cage steps up behind me and squeezes my shoulders. “I’m glad, firefly. I want you to spend some time in here playing.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I’ll stay if you want me to, or if you’d rather be alone while you play, I can go do some work.”

I peer up at him, worried he might be upset. Part of me does want him to stay, but this is all so new. I’m not sure I could really get my head into it, knowing he’s watching.

He smiles, and I swear, my panties are soaked all over again.

“Tell you what. I’m going to go and do some work. I’ll turn on the baby monitor. If you need anything, call out for me, and I’ll be here in a heartbeat. Okay?”

My shoulders relax, and I wrap my arms around his waist, listening to his heartbeat as I hug him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby. Stay in this room, though. If you need to go potty, there’s a button by the doorway that will call me. Understood? No leaving.”

Yes, Daddy.

The words almost slip out. If I weren’t so nervous right now, they probably would have. Thankfully, I catch myself before they do. “Okay.”

He studies me with a slight frown but doesn’t say anything. Was he hoping I’d call him Daddy?

When he releases me and steps back, I immediately miss his touch. Maybe I should ask him to stay. He wouldn’t want to watch me, though, and he certainly wouldn’t want to play with me.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he says as he reaches into his pocket. “I want you to use this instead of your thumb.”

He sets a pastel-green pacifier on the small art table before he walks out of the room, leaving me staring at it in shock.