13. Ember

13

EMBER

“ C an I play with you?”

The small, hesitant voice startles me. Whoa. I was really absorbed in playing with all these adorable baby dolls. There are so many of them. Ones with curly hair, straight hair, even red hair like mine. And the clothes. There are a lot of outfits to choose from. Frilly dresses, skirts, furry coats. I’m envious of all the toys Rowie has in this room, but I’m downright jealous of her doll collection.

I turn to look at her as she stands in the doorway, nibbling on her bottom lip and peering at me shyly.

“I don’t want to bother you, and it’s okay if you’d rather play alone,” she says, waving her hand dismissively. “I’ll just leave you be.”

“Wait!” I call out as she takes a step back. “You… um, you don’t have to go. It’s just, um, well, I don’t really know how to play. I probably won’t do it right.”

“Oh.” Rowie shuffles over and plops onto the floor beside me, crossing her legs and tucking her feet under her knees. “There’s no right or wrong way to play. You just do what makes you happy and what feels natural.”

She picks up one of the dolls and a small brush and starts combing out the tangles. “Have you ever played before? Or is being Little new for you?”

I tense, my hands trembling slightly as my mind flashes to the past.

Rowie’s eyes go round, and she reaches out to touch me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask so many questions. I’m so awkward. Such a dummy.”

My mouth drops open, and I quickly shift to face her, shaking my head as I do. “No. No, you’re not a dummy or awkward. I mean, I guess we’re all a little awkward. I certainly am. But no, you’re totally fine.” I offer the most reassuring smile I can manage.

She returns mine with a grin of her own, then starts brushing her doll’s hair again. I pick up one that has no clothes on and search for an outfit.

As I dress my doll in a yellow skirt and polka-dot shirt, I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood. Rowie has been nothing but kind to me every time she’s seen me. She’s also a Little like me. She’s not them . She won’t be mean and cruel.Will she understand, though? What if she thinks I’m ridiculous because what happened in the past still affects me?

With every second that passes, it gets harder to breathe.

Just tell her.

Just be myself.

Cage said I can be myself here.

“I attended boarding school, and during eighth grade, I had a dolly. Her name was Betsy. She had the prettiest green eyes, straight black hair, and freckles like mine. I loved her so much. I always struggled to make friends because I felt out of place, so Betsy was my best friend. Some girls caught me playing with her one day and took her from me. They were so mean. They.” I swallow thickly, trying to push the lump in my throat back down. “Um, they cut her to pieces and would leave them in my room, body part by body part. And every day, they would harass me for playing with toys at my age. It got so bad that I had to see a doctor because I started having regular panic attacks.”

When I finish talking, I glance at Rowie. Is she going to pity me? Tell me to get over it? It’s been years since it happened. I need to let it go, but for whatever reason, it’s one of those memories that haunts me.The seconds pass like hours, and I hold my breath as her gaze narrows. I’ve probably already scared her away from being my friend.

Her eyebrows draw together, then turn into a scowl. “Those fucking bitches. How dare they!” she nearly shouts, her hands balling into fists. “Who are they? Give me their names. My brothers will destroy them. I’ll destroy them.”

She jumps to her feet, her face beet red with anger, and all I can do is stare at her in awe. This tiny spitfire of a woman, probably doesn’t even weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet, is ready to go to battle for me. She barely knows me. Is this what friendship is? Being ready to bury a body at a moment’s notice?

“I’m going to get Cage. Those bitches need to pay.”

I leap up and grab her hand before she can take off. The last thing I need is for him to get involved.

“No, don’t go,” I plead. “I don’t want to make a big deal of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

My bottom lip trembles. What a mess. I don’t know Cage very well, but I know him enough to be certain that if he discovers all the things those girls did to me, he won’t let me get away without giving up names.

Rowie frowns. “But you deserve revenge. That was a horrible thing for them to do. I want to cry just thinking about it.”

Her eyes are watery, and now mine are burning with tears as I sniffle and use the back of my hand to wipe my nose.

“It was a long time ago. After that, I never tried to play again. The only toy I have is my stuffie, and I keep him hidden as much as possible.”

Even though my heart aches from reliving the past, I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I’ve never told anyone the entire story before. My father only knew bits and pieces because I was too ashamed to tell him everything. It was an irritation for him to have to pull me from that school and move me to another one. I barely remember my mom, but my memories were always of the three of us spending time together. After she died, it was like I was this thing he had to take care of but didn’t want to.

Linking her fingers with mine, Rowie pulls me over to the tree trunk opening. Together, we crawl in and prop ourselves up against the pillows.

We don’t speak for a few minutes, instead, we stare up at the twinkle lights and faux tree limbs hanging from the ceiling.

Finally, Rowie breaks the silence. “I’ve never had a best friend, either. I’ve never had any friends actually.” She pauses and turns onto her side to face me. “Would you maybe want to be my best friend?”

Rolling my head to the side to look at her, tears fall from my eyes, and a lump forms in my throat. As I stare at the small woman beside me, part of my sad, broken heart heals right here in the middle of the playroom. I smile. “I’d like that.”

“ H ey, sleepyheads.”

The voice is deep and smooth. Gentle. It’s not his voice, though.

I furrow my eyebrows and hide my face. Whoever it is, I’m not waking up.I’m warm and cozy, and I want to stay here forever because it’s just that perfect.

“Rowie,” the voice persists.

“My name isn’t Rowie,” I mumble.

A soft chuckle and then another. The second one sounds familiar. I like that one.

“No, baby girl. Your name is Firefly.”

I’m so warm and comfy, I don’t want to move. Yet I can’t help but peek out of one eye.

It’s not just Cage who’s looking back at me. Both he and Theo are squatting down just outside the tree. And Rowie is stirring beside me.

Huh. We must have dozed off after we declared we were going to be best friends.

“You two need to wake up so you can sleep tonight,” Theo says, nudging Rowie’s foot.

She kicks his hand away and curls up into a ball. “Go away,” she mumbles.

Theo grins, then reaches in and grabs Rowie by the ankle. As he drags her out of the tree, he tickles the sole of her foot, sending her into a fit of giggles. I grin and peek at Cage again, expecting him to be watching Theo and Rowie, but he’s not paying them any attention. Instead, he’s focused on me, his gaze heated. A twinge of arousal shoots through me, and I quickly squeeze my thighs together.

“Hey, pretty girl.” Cage smiles at me. Gosh, he’s handsome.

He may be a difficult man to deal with at times, but I think that smile might make up for it. Hell, all he has to do is flash me those pearly whites and I’d probably do just about anything he wanted.

“Hey.”

“It’s almost dinner time,” he tells me.

Oh, right. They eat together every night. Like a family. I can’t remember the last time I sat down for a meal with my father. Christmas last year, maybe? I imagine it’s nice knowing you have people to come together with at the end of the day to share a loud, messy, loving dinner with. These men might be a bit unusual, but they certainly love each other. And they are all practically over the moon for Rowie. It’s obvious she means a lot to them, and I get the feeling they mean a lot to her, too.

Together, Rowie and I crawl out of the tree and stand. Then she looks up at Cage and shoots him a mischievous grin.

“Ember and I have decided we’re going to be best friends, so I think she should stay here forever.”

Something flickers in Cage’s eyes. Worry, maybe? Guilt? I’m not sure. It’s there and gone in a heartbeat.

“You two can be best friends, but Ember can’t stay here forever,” he replies tightly.

His words are like a knife to the gut. Why does it bother me that he said that? That he doesn’t want me here. I don’t care how he feels about me. He’s my bodyguard. Just because I’m attracted to him or the fact he knows my deepest secret and gave me a pacifier doesn’t mean he has any interest in dating me. Or in being my Daddy.

“Both of you go potty and wash your hands. Meet us in the dining room,” Theo instructs.

I glance up at Cage, and he gives me a slight nod. “Go ahead. Unless you need help?”

My eyes go round, and I quickly shake my head before Rowie and I scurry away. I don’t know why the man is so obsessed with helping me in the bathroom. I also don’t understand why it intrigues me so much. It would be embarrassing. Totally humiliating. Yeah, I definitely don’t want his help.

Nope. Totally not.