Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Phillip

After receiving a severe talking-to from my mother, the likes of which I haven't experienced since I was a dumb teenager, I came home as quickly as I could, hoping I'd catch Rose before she left so I could try and explain again, but she was already gone. I'm not sure if she's coming over today but I know there's still a lot of detail she wants to add to the set so she'll have to come back here at some point, even if it's just to finish the project.

The temptation to text her last night was unreal, but every time I started reaching for my phone I thought better of it, forcing myself to give her space. As much as I wanted to talk to her, it wasn't about what I wanted. Sure, I was hurt that Rose thought the worst of me but I'm the one who gave her a reason to doubt.

I called Mrs Jeffries when I got home and realised Rose wasn't here. I've done some work for the older woman in the past and a couple of days ago she emailed asking me to let her know when I had a free day to do a few small jobs around the house for her. Luckily, she didn't mind me calling on a Sunday and is happy for me to come over today despite the short notice. It's not that I want to avoid Rose, but she was so angry yesterday it seems wise to err on the side of caution. If she does come over to work today, I don't want her to feel like I'm taking advantage of her being in my space and forcing my presence on her.

If I don't hear anything from her today, I'll reach out. While I can respect her need for space, I'm not willing to let this go on past today without us having a proper conversation. If she still doesn't want anything to do with me after that then I'll continue to make myself scarce while she finishes painting the set.

Toolbox at the ready, I head out to the car wanting to get an early start over at Mrs Jeffries' place. Hopefully working my way through the list of odd-jobs she emailed me last night will be enough to keep my mind off Rose for a few hours. Even though I doubt she wants to see me I send her a quick text letting her know I'll be gone for the day, just in case she does show up.

Rose

I stand on Phillip's doorstep, gut churning with nerves over seeing him again. Slowly I take a few deep breaths in an effort to stay calm while working up the nerve to ring the bell. It doesn't feel right to use the key he gave me when things are so strained between us. Waiting only makes my nerves worse so I take the plunge, wrestling an arm free from the coffees and pastries I'm holding. On my way over I stopped at Snug thinking arriving with apology treats might help our talk go better. A few minutes go by with no answer. I ring the bell again.

A sinking feeling worms its way through me when there's still no answer. I'm starting to worry he's not here, but surely he would have said something if he wasn't going to be home this morning, fight or not. I arrived earlier than usual, maybe he's still out in the workshop with his music on and is unable to hear the doorbell. I know he likes to start his day early. I walk around to the garage trying not to worry, but the weight of concern presses down on my chest anyway.

All the lights are off and there's no sound coming from inside the workshop. My heart sinks. He's not here. Anger bubbles up inside me like lava. I came over ready to talk things out, I brought fucking apology treats even though we were both in the wrong and he is not here . Worse than that, he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me he wouldn't be home so now I'm left feeling like an idiot.

I pace in front of the garage doors, unsure of what to do. Wanting advice, I put the drink tray on the ground and pull out my phone for the first time since leaving Bel's flat this morning, only to see a text from Phillip waiting for me.

Phillip:

I'm doing some odd-jobs for a past customer, will be gone for the whole day. Not sure if you're planning on coming over to work or not, but I didn't want the idea of me being here to put you off, I know there's still a lot of detail you want to add to the set. I've left the inside door unlocked so you can get through to the workshop. Talk soon.

I stare at the screen, not sure how to feel. Obviously, I'm annoyed Phillip is hiding instead of facing this head-on but isn't that what I did yesterday? I can also understand the desire to have a full day to cool off before we hash things out. I do feel a bit snippy that he didn't tell me sooner that he'd be gone, but it's not his fault I didn't check my phone earlier this morning. At least he's not leaving me totally high and dry like I'd thought.

There's only one thing for it I guess. I fish out the spare key and go inside. Making a beeline straight for the kitchen, I dump Phillip's drink down the sink. It's a shame to waste it, but no way do I need a third cup of coffee in less than two hours. Also, I'm feeling a little petty and tossing his drink makes me feel better.

It's weird being in the workshop without him. The large space feels cavernous and too quiet without his bright presence to fill it. Deciding nobody ever has to know, I turn on his stupid speaker for company. Playing music only makes me feel worse—it just isn't the same without him humming along. Working in silence it is. I disconnect my phone from the speaker, deciding to pretend the moment of weakness never happened.

I go through the motions of my usual routine, setting out everything I need for the day. Afterwards, I sink onto my chair to drink my latte before it gets cold. Somehow, Violet's coffee doesn't taste as good now I'm stuck drinking it alone. Loneliness sets in as I sit staring at the set pieces before me. There are only a couple of weeks' worth of work left to do. Then the project will be finished. Swiping at a stray tear, surprised I have any left in me, I wonder if this means Phillip and I will be over then too. His message said we'll talk soon but he didn't give me any indication that he wants to work things out. Determined not to waste the entire day worrying about something I can't control, I dry my eyes, finish my drink, and get to work.

After a surprisingly productive day, I take the cowards' way out and pack up earlier than usual. The last thing I want is to still be here when Phillip gets home and have him think I was waiting for him. He made it clear that he does not want to see me today and I will respect that even if I don't like it. Leaving early helps make sure we don't end up in the same room before we're ready.

The sky is still a dull grey that matches my mood but the storm is finally over. Aria texted me at lunch saying the weather forecast had confirmed it. Fortunately, the overflow from the river never went past the field at the bottom of the hill our street is on, so all the homes are safe. There's nothing stopping me from going back home to the flat tonight. Since I should still have enough time before he'll be home, I go into Phillip's room and pack up the rest of my stuff until there's no sign I was ever staying here. Downstairs I scribble out a quick note for Phillip, explaining that I've grabbed my things and am going back home. I leave the scrap of paper on the kitchen counter next to the bag containing the pastry I got him. After locking the front door I linger, debating posting the key through the letterbox. My heart squeezes at the thought and I decide to hold onto it for now. I might need it if Phillip's out again tomorrow. It makes sense to keep it until I know for sure.

Phillip

The house is silent and still when I arrive home. Sending Rose a text was a cop-out, I know that, but I was still hurt that she didn't trust me. Truthfully, I think taking a day to let emotions settle was the best thing for both of us. I didn't exactly keep my cool yesterday afternoon either.

Flicking on the lights in the kitchen I spot a paper bag from Snug on the counter. A look inside reveals a cinnamon swirl and my mouth waters at the sight of the flaky pastry covered with a glistening drizzle of icing. The scent of cinnamon and sugar wafts up to meet me making my stomach growl. Guilt settles heavy in my gut and I close the bag. Rose came here with a peace offering in the form of my favourite pastry and I wasn't here. If I'd given in and messaged her last night, she would have known I wouldn't be here long before going to the effort of bringing something over.

Frustrated with myself for screwing up again, I slump onto one of the stools at the counter. My sigh sends a scrap of paper fluttering to the ground. Picking it up, I see it's a note from Rose.

The realisation that she's taken all her stuff and left hits me like a punch to the gut. I know she wasn't living here for real, but to go from imagining that future for us to her leaving in the space of only a couple of days is throwing me for a loop. I have to fix this.

Me:

Thank you for the pastry. Sorry I wasn't here to accept it in person. I'm glad you've got the all-clear to go back to your flat.

I add that I'll miss having her here but delete the admission. It's not fair for me to put that on her when my mistake is the reason she's gone. The text is kind of pathetic, but I'm not sure what else to say so I press send, hoping for the best. Three dots dance on my screen and Rose's reply comes through a moment later.

Raincloud:

You're welcome. And thanks.

Will I see you tomorrow?

Feeling like even more of an ass for making her feel like she needs to ask that, I respond immediately.

Me:

Yes. I need to finish up what I couldn't get to on my client's list, so I'll be out in the morning but I'll be back for the afternoon. Can I make you dinner tomorrow so we can talk?

I'm sorry for avoiding you today.

Raincloud:

I understand why you did. Dinner sounds good, see you tomorrow.

While answering my texts is a good sign, I can't help but notice she didn't actually accept my apology. Was that intentional or am I reading too much into it? Either way, I'm determined to make things right between us and I am prepared to do some major grovelling to make that happen.