Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Rose

Bel buzzes me up to his flat, he and Aria both waiting for me in the doorway, twin looks of concern on their faces.

"I brought brownies from Snug," I say, holding up the paper bag with a wan smile.

"That bad?" Aria asks, wincing. Violet's brownies are so decadent we only ever get them to celebrate something amazing or to commiserate over something really shitty. After his last break-up, Bel even started calling them heartbreak brownies.

"Get in here, rosebud." Bel pulls me over the threshold and into a warm hug, his hazel eyes full of sympathy. The familiar nickname is what finally sends me over the edge, tears streaming down my face as my shoulders shake with barely contained sobs. Rosebud may have been my first nickname, given to me by Bel back in university "because your name's Rose and you're my buddy" but it's not the one I want to hear. All it does is leave me wondering if I'll ever hear Phillip call me raincloud in his warm baritone again.

Bel manoeuvres me to the sofa, Aria rescuing the brownies from where they're getting squashed between us before joining in the cuddle pile and gently stroking my hair. When I've calmed down enough to stop crying, I gratefully accept the tissue Aria offers me, drying my cheeks and cringing when the tissue comes away covered in black smudges. So much for waterproof mascara. I probably look like a cross between a racoon and the undead but can't bring myself to do anything more about it. Part of the beauty of close friends is not having to put on a brave face when you're at your lowest. Neither of them say anything about the state I'm in beyond Aria offering me another tissue.

"What happened? Was it something with his family? I thought everything was going great between you two," Aria asks.

"So did I." I sniffle then launch into the explanation of how I ended up here crying on Bel's sofa instead of back at Phillip's in new relationship bliss. When I finish a look passes between them over my head and Bel clears his throat uncomfortably.

"What?" I ask, confused about why they're not immediately jumping to my defence like I expected.

"Well…" he runs a hand through his blonde curls, stalling.

"Seriously, what?" I ask, sitting up straighter, gaze darting between them.

"Look, I'm not saying what he did was right but I think you're being a little harsh," he tells me gently. Thrown by his accusation, I turn to face Aria, gobsmacked when I see her nodding in agreement.

"You think I overreacted?"

Aria takes my hand in hers, squeezing gently. "I think," she begins carefully, glancing at Bel for approval before continuing, "that everything you've been through with Malcolm and your family left you with some unresolved issues, and maybe that's why you've had a bigger emotional response to what Phillip did than is necessarily called for."

Snatching my hand away, hurt that neither of them understand, I argue, "They have nothing to do with this. Phillip lied to me."

"And that was shitty of him. But do you really think he was keeping it from you maliciously?" Bel presses.

"Think about it, Rose. Really think about everything you've told me about him since you started working together. Is that honestly the kind of person you think he is?" Aria asks.

I force myself to slow down and take a few deep breaths, until my mind stops racing long enough for me to properly consider what Aria and Bel are saying. The calm brings with it a harsh sense of clarity and deep, sinking shame over how I've handled things.

"Shit," I groan, dropping my head into my hands. They're right. I've fucked up. Sure, Phillip isn't entirely innocent here either, but I didn't give him a chance to explain. I jumped to the worst possible conclusions when he's done nothing to suggest he deserved that. "You're right." Phillip was right, I should have given him the benefit of the doubt and talked it through. Instead, I let hurt and fear drive my actions and I pushed him away.

"Sounds like you both have some apologising to do," Aria points out. One of the things I love most about our friendship is we're not afraid to call each other out when we mess up.

"Yeah, I just hope he gives me the chance. We didn't exactly leave off on the best terms," I admit with another sigh. "In the moment, all I could think was that he chose to sleep with me and act like nothing was going on this whole time instead of telling me about the show. It made me feel like he was making sure he got what he wanted first, in case telling me didn't go well. Now I've had a chance to calm down, I can understand why he waited to tell me."

"You two just need to talk it out, it'll be OK," Bel reassures me.

"I'll try. It's just hard. I really let my guard down with him. Honestly, I think that's partly why I freaked out so much."

"You need to tell him all of that," Aria says and I nod in agreement, letting out a slow, centring breath.

"I will. Tomorrow. I think it's best if we both take a little more time to cool off tonight, then I'll go over there and apologise in the morning."

"Good." Bel gives my arm a light squeeze before getting up. "We're going to head to my room, give you some time to process. Come join our movie marathon when you're ready."

"And bring the brownies," Aria tells me, pointing between them and the bag of chocolatey goodness as she follows Bel out of the room. My laughter fades once I'm left alone and I mull over what I should say to Phillip tomorrow. That is, if he's willing to talk to me.