10. Max

Max

10

She's alive.

Violet's alive.

And she's so fucking happy.

I spent weeks, maybe even months not sure if she was dead or alive, if what happened before the accident was even real.

Time has been a blur thanks to the pain that radiates from my right side and the meds that do nothing to dull it, but still make my mind hazy.

My strict railroaded life's been torn apart and one of the most important pieces of it gone, just like that.

This is the first time I've seen her since I stopped her from being the one under that car's wheels.

She never came to visit me in the hospital and I had to hear from Dad that she'd left for college like she planned to. Mad couldn't bring himself to tell me the news himself.

I'm not sure what he did to try and get her to stay or why she just decided to leave, but it doesn't matter because she'll be ours again soon.

How can she be so happy without us though?

Mad and I have been in pieces since she left. He doesn't speak about her at all, refuses to acknowledge her existence if I ever try and bring her up.

He thought I died that night, he told me he couldn't feel me, then when I woke up he felt every single thing I went through. The pain, the loss, the confusion. All of it.

Sometimes when my nerves flare up I see him clutch his own arm without even realizing it. We've always been so closely connected and I know he needs me now more than ever, to help keep him together.

That night, I thought we were about to lose her. As she ran from us and I saw the headlights, I did the only thing I could and pushed her into Mad's arms. I thought she'd be safe with him, that if I was gone they'd help put each other back together.

But Mad needs me more than I realized. As he helped me with my recovery, I could see how much he was struggling with everything.

Although he refuses to admit that part of that pain is because he misses Violet so deeply.

There's a hole where Violet used to be. A silent empty void that lingers between us. Some nights we go to bed together and imagine she's there, back in the center of our world.

The agony of knowing she left and has made the choice not to even call or visit once, hurts more than my fucked up body.

I'm not giving up on her though. Even if she doesn't want us any more she doesn't get a choice. She's ours.

All I've had is time and I've done nothing but obsess over her. Other than my physio appointments, there's no schedule to stick to. No more baseball, no more college. Just time to plan out exactly how to get her back.

She thinks she can just walk away and start over, after our entire lives were blown apart? Well, she's wrong.

This is the first day I've been out by myself since the accident. Dad and my brother have done nothing but hover around me, barely giving me space to breathe. I took the first chance I had when they were both busy with work and came all the way here by myself to pay my dear sister a visit.

My legs are finally able to hold me without needing someone else to help me walk, but I know I'm pushing my body too hard as each step has been nothing but exhausting. I was hoping I could sleep on the train ride here, but the nauseating ache in my bones kept me awake the whole time.

From across campus, I watch her as she walks alone, her head down like she's trying to be invisible.

I still see you, sweetheart.

Now that I have you, I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again.

Some random guy veers into her path cutting her off and she startles before smiling at him. He smiles right back and puts his hand on her arm like he owns her.

That's when I see he's not just some stranger. It's him.

James fucking Mikael.

That name has become all too familiar at home and seeing Violet anywhere near him makes me sick to my stomach.

How fucking dare she?

I slam my palm against the trunk of the tree I'm hiding behind and bite back the pain that flares up my arm, but a groan still makes its way out. Their heads turn my way, but neither of them sees me.

I can't have her see me like this. So goddamn weak. I need to be stronger, so I can make sure she doesn't get away again.

I can't leave that up to Mad, he's not been himself since she left. He's not angry enough yet. But he will be once he sees this.

My fists are shaking with pain and rage as I reach into my jacket to pull out my pain meds. I clumsily unscrew the cap and tip three into my palm. They never work, yet I still take them in hopes that this time they will. That the pain will vanish and my mind will be clear again. That I won't have to keep feeling so consumed by anger every second of the day.

Ignoring the bitter taste, I swallow them down dry, then take my phone out of my jeans pocket to snap a quick photo of Violet and the snake that she's still letting touch her.

As soon as I send it to Mad, he's calling me.

"Why the fuck is she talking to him?" He snaps down the line. "And where the fuck are you? If you tell me you're at her campus by yourself, I'm going to lose my shit. I've been calling you all day, you could have fucking text."

"You think she knows?"

"How could she not? She's probably sucking his dick along with any other guy that speaks to her. We knew that's what would happen," he scoffs like he doesn't care, but I know he does.

I know I've just sparked that fury in him that's been lying dormant just under the surface. Soon it'll be ready to unleash on her.

With enough time I hope he can channel it into claiming her as ours again rather than destroying her completely.

That's if I don't ruin her first. It's like there's a new beast inside me that's thrashing under my skin, trying to tear its way out. It's desperate and angry.

I've felt it before, but not like this. I've always been able to keep it tamed, but this beast is hungry and there's no holding it back this time.

"I won't be home for a while," I say as the vision of my future starts to become clear in my head.

"Don't tell me you're just going to enroll there with her and leave me here? I'm the one that's spent every day with you, not her."

"Don't be stupid. You're coming here as well. Pack a few bags. The cabin's not that far out from here." It's been years since we've even been to the place, I'm not sure if Violet even knows it exists so it's the perfect place to hide out whilst we keep an eye on her.

"You're serious," he says, slowly.

"Deadly. I'll sort it out with Dad. Just get your ass here. Or do you want her to keep getting college dick whilst we rot away at home with only our own hands for company?"

There's a long pause before Mad says, "Fine. Just don't do anything without me."

"You know there's no without you, brother," I say, before hanging up.

Even if I have to tear the rest of me apart to have her, we'll soon have our missing piece back with us.