11. Violet

Violet

11

Ican barely concentrate in class. I've not slept properly in weeks. Mom keeps calling, telling me to come back home for summer break and that I'm putting a strain on the family by never visiting.

How can I just visit though?

I can't just walk back into their lives like I didn't blow them up completely.

It's not until most of the classroom is empty, that I realize the lecture's ended. I'm going to have to ask someone else for their notes again and try to get another extension from my creative writing professor.

Hopefully, I'll get it done on time because I'm pretty sure he hates me. My last four assignments were all late and I swear he graded me poorly as some sort of punishment for it.

I quickly pack my books into my backpack so I don't get caught alone with him and follow the last few students out.

The couple in front of me have their arms wrapped snugly around each other's waists as they squeeze through the door. I try not to feel bitter at the sight.

I've not been touched by another man since Maddox and Max.

My only boyfriend has been battery operated and that's been a let down. I've fucked myself senseless with the thing, imagining it was someone I can never have. Thought maybe if I got that fantasy out of my head I could move on and hook up with a real person, but that involves actually talking to a guy for more than a few sentences.

College was supposed to be a fresh start. Apparently that cliche wasn't meant for me.

Reading and writing is what I love, that's why I wanted to come here. I'd already read the majority of books on the curriculum before I even started. I thought I was guaranteed to succeed and become a writer one day, but dreams become overrated once you discover they can be crushed in an instant.

As I head across campus to grab some food before I head to my dorm for the night, I get an odd feeling. My skin prickles with heat like someone's watching me.

I quickly look behind me, hoping to catch whatever creep might be following me, but there's no one there. The feeling stays with me all the way to the cafeteria.

When I pull open the large oak door, I yelp as I bump into Sarah, one of the girls from my dorm. Sarah is the complete opposite to me in every way, she's bubbly and popular. Whilst I've never been popular, I did used to have that same bubbly attitude that she does and I can't help but miss feeling like that.

"Sorry, Vi, didn't mean to scare you," she chuckles lightly.

I cringe as she calls me Vi, I've told her I prefer Violet. Only one person has ever called me Vi and I can't bear anyone else saying it.

"Oh no, it was my fault, I was in my own head. Are you getting food?" I ask, plastering the fake smile I always wear back onto my face.

"Ah sorry, we just ate." She smiles back at me apologetically, as she motions to the rest of her friends chatting behind her as they wait for her to finish talking with me.

"Oh cool, don't let me keep you. I'll see you later." I move out of the way for them to all fit through the doorway.

"See you, Vi." Sarah waves me off as she passes.

"It's Violet." My frustration gets the better of me and the words just slip out. I'm sick of people not listening to me. Just because I'm quiet and keep to myself shouldn't mean my voice doesn't deserve to be heard.

"Hmm?" She asks, her long auburn hair catches in the breeze as she spins on her heel.

"My name is Violet." I brush away a loose strand that's escaped from my ponytail. My hair has become a long mess recently and really doesn't stand up next to her perfectly styled waves.

Guess that's what a rich daddy gets you.

I suppose I do have my own now. Reginald is always more than willing to help out with money even though I hate accepting it. It'll never feel right, especially when he doesn't know what I was doing with his sons. He's the only reason I'm able to stay here as he pays my tuition. One day I'll pay him back. I refuse to follow in my mom's footsteps of using others to get what I want.

"Oh, okay, sorry. Look, Violet, I'm sure you don't want to, but you have my number if you ever need to talk about anything. I only ever see you hanging out with James. You're always welcome to hang with me instead." Sarah frowns as she trails off, giving me an odd look like her feelings have been hurt, before she finds her bright smile again.

"Sure," I say, really not sure if I'll take her up on the offer. A few of her friends cast me dirty looks over their shoulders as she leaves with them. Even if she wants to be friends, I don't think I'll be allowed anywhere near that friendship circle.

The cafeteria is mostly empty as I step inside. My lecture was an extra session that the professor held for anyone needing to catch up and it finished later than I anticipated.

Unfortunately for me, I'm still not caught up and will have to spend the majority of my free time for the next few days in the library. I say that like I'm not always in there anyway.

Grabbing a tray, I take my time picking what to eat. There's not much left at this time of day, but I manage to snag some macaroni that still looks fresh. Then I grab a soda and pay for it with my student card on the automated register.

Only two tables are currently occupied so I get my pick of seats for my meal. I head to one by the windows so I can watch the sunset and read my book in peace.

My appetite hasn't been great recently and I end up picking at my food, pushing most of it around the plate. Leaving it, I sit back and let myself enjoy another chapter of the romance I picked up from the library yesterday.

By the time I've devoured three chapters more than I'd planned, it's getting dark out. The pretty pinks and oranges of the sunset are long gone.

I can see more of my reflection in the window than I can anything else outside as it only gets darker.

I get that feeling again, like I'm being watched. Squinting my eyes, I lean closer to the glass to try and see outside.

"Can I join you?" I startle and look up to see James already sitting himself down across from me.

"Sure," I say anyway, trying not to sound annoyed that he's pushing his way in again.

For some reason, he's the only thing from my past that has stayed with me.

My time with him at the house party is still blurry thanks to how much I drank. It's like those details don't matter to my mind and it's made sure to keep the end of the night crystal clear for me instead.

When I had my first day here, James ran into me. Well, according to him, he just happened to run into me, but I swear he was waiting for me outside my dorm building.

I feel bad for constantly trying to avoid him, but he's just everywhere, always trying to talk to me and get me to hang out with him.

He's a nice enough guy and if things were different I'm sure I'd end up liking him, but the thought of that makes my heart ache for all the wrong reasons. Every time I interact with him, it's a stark reminder of what I'm missing back home.

"You going anywhere after this? I know you like to hang out in the library a lot, I could keep you company."

I'm not sure if that's sweet or creepy that he seems to know my routine.

Is he the one that I felt watching me earlier?

"No, I'm heading straight to bed after this. It's been a long day and I've still got a load of work to get done before semester ends."

His shoulders slump from my rejection and I try not to feel bad, but if he just got the hint that I'm not interested, he wouldn't have to feel put out.

"What about tomorrow? I could meet you for dinner if you like and help you get some work done?"

"James…sorry, I can't." I pick up my tray and start taking it back to the counter.

"Are you heading home this year? I know you didn't for Christmas. If you need a ride, I finally have my own car. I kinda had to since, you know, my dad's locked up." He looks awkward as he rubs at the dark stubble on his jaw. I'm sure his dad going to prison is something he's probably mentioned before, but I don't remember. He talks at me a lot.

I'm sure it's tough for him and maybe I should accept his offer of friendship or whatever it is he wants. Nothing like some good old trauma bonding to start a relationship off. Right now, that feels like the last thing I want. I can already picture the disgust on his face if he ever found out what I did with my stepbrothers.

As I turn to head back to grab my things, I realize he's still rambling on about his car. "It's actually pretty slick. I'm sure you'd love it, you seem like a girl that likes a fast ride. I can take you out and—"

"Seriously, can you just leave me alone?" I snap and his face falls.

"I'm only trying to be nice."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I'm just not in the mood to hang out with anyone right now."

"You never are," he says coldly, taking me aback. "I'll just see you in class." Looking unreasonably pissed off, he heads for the doors and I wait for them to close before heading back to my seat to grab my bag.

I have to sit down for a minute to gather my thoughts.

Was I too mean to him?

He's trying so hard to be a friend and all I've been is an asshole to him the entire time. Maybe I should go and apologize. It wouldn't hurt to have someone I could talk to, it would be good for me to get out more. Maybe we could go to some parties together and I could make an actual attempt at making some friends here.

Who am I kidding? That's the last thing I want to do.

Just as I put my hand on my bag, the lights suddenly go out and I scream as I see a dark figure standing right outside the window.

"James?" I ask out loud, even though he can't hear me from out there.

A light suddenly turns on and their face lights up with a bright neon glow. No, not their face. A creepy looking mask with yellow X's for eyes and a crooked smile stares back at me.

Slowly, they shake their head, then they bring their finger to where their mouth is and make a shushing gesture.

What the fuck?

I'm sure it's someone playing a prank or forced to do a dare, but whatever it is they're doing is really freaking creepy.

There's a loud clatter from the kitchen behind me and I almost jump out of my chair as I swivel to see what it was.

A slither of light comes from the kitchen door and I see a shadow of someone moving around in there. It's probably just the cook and there's been a problem with the electrics. Right?

"Hello?" I call out. "James, if you're trying to be funny, it's not working."

I quickly look back outside, but the figure is gone, making me feel like I imagined them standing there.

Grabbing my phone, I realize it's later than I thought. No one else is in the cafeteria. It's just me and whoever the shadow belongs to in the kitchen that is getting bigger and bigger as they step closer to the door.

Whoever it is, I don't need to find out. I stuff my book into my bag and as I pick up my phone I get a text.

Slut

I have to reread the message to make sure I saw it right. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it.

It's not from James, I have his number thanks to him putting it in my phone the first opportunity he could. No, this is an unknown number.

Frantically, I think of anything I could have done for someone to call me a slut, but if it wasn't for the vibrator in my nightstand I'd be a nun.

They don't message again and I don't reply. Maybe it's just some odd coincidence and it wasn't meant for me?

I rush out of the cafeteria and don't stop running until my lungs are burning and my legs ache from the sudden exertion that they're not used to.

Casting a look around, I find there's no one following me, the campus is almost empty apart from a few other students most likely heading to their rooms or to an end of semester party.

With my hand clutching my chest, I take a shaky breath to calm myself down. I'm just tired and paranoid. Whoever that jerk in the mask was is long gone.

Although I keep repeating the reassurances in my head that I'm not about to be murdered by a serial killer, the rest of the walk to my dormitory is still terrifying.

As the building comes into sight, I hear footsteps behind me.

No, two sets of footsteps.

When I turn there's no one there.

I must be seriously overworked if I'm seeing and hearing things.

All I need is to go to bed and try to get a good night's sleep. That's rare. I don't remember the last time I slept through the night.

Every time I close my eyes, I see Max getting hit by that car and then feel his body next to mine as I lay with him on the road.

I push back the tears and the nausea that always comes when I remember the accident and walk the final few steps to the dorms.

When I reach the entrance, there's a newspaper on the step. Weird, no one's ever had one delivered here before, but I suppose there's a first for everything. The headline immediately catches my eye as I pick it up.

I have to slap my hand over my mouth so I don't scream as I read the bold letters over and over.

When I unfold the bottom, I see the blown up photo of Max's smiling face as he poses in his baseball uniform.

I clutch it to my chest as bile rises in my throat.

Is this someone's idea of a sick joke?

I've not kept my family or what happened a secret. I just refuse to talk about it with anyone. No one needs to gossip about what we went through.

James would know the most about me out of anyone here, but I thought he wanted to be friends so why would he do this?

Goosebumps break out on my skin as I hear what sounds like a metal pipe being dragged along concrete somewhere behind me.

I press my back to the door and look for the source of the sound, but don't see anyone. Then a loud bang rings out and I grab for the handle, opening the door and tumbling inside.

Slamming it shut behind me, I run for the stairs and don't stop until I'm safely in my room.

As soon as I close the door, my phone pings with another text. My palms are slick with sweat as I try to unlock the screen.

Everything inside of me screams at me not to open it, but my thumb's already tapping the screen and a picture pops up.

It takes me a second to focus on the image, but when I do, I end up dropping my phone and the newspaper still clutched in my other hand to the floor.

My phone lands screen up and the image glares at me in the dark.

The blurriness of the photo makes it difficult to make out much, but I know that it's me front and center. It's only my lower half, but I recognise my body and the underwear I have on.

Who took this? And when?

I must have been sleeping, which means someone's been in my room.

Another text comes through and I want to stomp my heel down on my phone and destroy the whole thing, but instead I pick it up and read it.

Don't flaunt it if you don't want someone to take it

Looking around I expect to see a shadow looming over me, but I'm still alone.

Memories of my stepbrothers flood my mind as I try to make sense of the fear circling in my stomach.

There's something else there as well. Anticipation? Hope that maybe it's them that have come to scare me?

It's not like them to act like that, but I suppose I don't know them anymore.

Would I even recognise them if I saw them again?

Two years is a long time for someone to change.

If they are here then why not just come and talk to me?

Who am I kidding? I know exactly why.

They want revenge for what I did. For ruining Max's life, for moving on without them and I don't blame them for it.

I'm not going to run again.

If they really have come for me, then I'll be waiting right here to receive whatever punishment they'll give me.