11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It's all about the wings, baby.

It was all Hawk could do to contain Dani as they waited for the door to open, her little wiggling body poised for flight the moment her feet hit the floor. He knew she was as anxious to see Aaron as he was, he just hoped keeping their arrival a secret wouldn't blow up in his face. When he'd landed, he'd texted Kelly to let him know they were on the ground, but at that point he'd still been unable to tell him if Aaron was going to put in an appearance or pass on the band's first family day meal.

It had been a tradition, every other week for as far back as he could remember. Back when three of them had lived in the building they'd decided to dine out every fifth meal, to keep the rotation a bit more even. The only rule was that it couldn't be in a city any of them lived in. Their last one as a band had been at Hawk's place in the mountains, back before colorful plastic plates and cups had replaced stoneware in his cabinets.

He hit the bell again, since there was no way of telling if there was music playing or a bunch of chaos going on inside, and was rewarded by the sight of an apron wearing Kelly, who immediately looked relieved to see him.

"Was hoping you'd hurry up and get here," Kelly said. "He's been trying to leave almost since he stepped foot in the door."

"Unky Aaron!" Dani squealed, lurching for the open doorway and leaving Hawk no choice but to put her down or risk dropping her. She shot past Kelly and into the house, squealing Aaron's name as she vanished around a corner quickly followed by the other two.

"He say why?"

"Just that it was a mistake to get together outside of practice," Kelly admitted. "So I sent his ass to the music room to see if he could fix the busted ass chorus I can't get to turn out right in the hopes that would keep him around long enough for you to get here. I couldn't be certain he'd just go downstairs if I let him leave."

"Thank you for that," Hawk said, relief and a flash of fear washing over him, because if Aaron was avoiding the band except when playing then he was spiraling worse than Kelly had alluded to.

Dani's high-pitched squeal drew him inside and he caught up with the kids just in time to catch sight of the whirling dervish of princess dress and fairy wings hurtling at Aaron, who immediately scooped her up and cuddled her.

"I missed you! I missed you!" She cried, clinging to Aaron's neck.

One wing smacked him on the side of the face, but he didn't seem to notice as he held her, wearing the brightest smile Hawk had seen on Aaron's face in years.

"Awe princess, you saw me over the video feed just last night when I read you your bedtime story," Aaron croaked, giving him a good idea of how hard Dani was squeezing him.

"I know," she whined. "But it different! I like when you and Unky Hawk take turns reading and tuck me in and make cocoa! His marshy mallows are too big. I like your tiny ones."

"Hey now, I might not have tiny marshmallows but I do remember the whipped cream and sprinkles," Hawk protested, voice booming as Ella and Liam latched onto Aaron's legs and hugged him to.

He bent with Dani still clinging to him and managed to wrap them in an embrace as well, getting knocked off his feet for his troubles, much to the delight of the kids. They dogpiled him, giggling and hugging until Aaron yelled truce!

They scrambled off him then and seemed to realize that there were strangers in the room, because they immediately rushed back to Hawk and hid behind him. Hawk recognized Declan and Micah from their dossiers but had no clue who the guy who looked like Declan was, nor did he know the woman who was standing to Micah's left.

He waited for Aaron to acknowledge him after he'd picked himself up, but the other man never looked his way. Hell there was a time when Aaron would have been in his space already, yanking him into a one armed hug or standing close enough that their shoulders brushed, now he wouldn't even glance in Hawk's direction, let alone make eye contact with him. Instead, he knelt so he could talk to Dani.

"Speaking of sprinkles, guess what I found?" Aaron mock whispered.

"What, what?" Dani asked, pressing her head against his.

"A whole shaker of pink, purple and silver glitter sprinkles!"

"Really!"

Her shriek was damn near deafening but that smile of hers was more than worth the noise.

"Really, really. I have them right downstairs in my apartment, though if your uncle Hawk had given me a heads up that he was bringing you guys, I'd have brought them up with me."

She turned, staring up at Hawk, pouting as her eyes narrowed and she stuck her hands on her hips.

"Why you not tell him?" she asked with a stomp of her little foot. "Now I no have sprinkles!"

"So we could surprise him, sweetheart," Hawk replied, hoping to reason with her and in loo of that, hoping Aaron would help, though he still hadn't met Hawk's gaze yet. "I'd say we did a good job of it, wouldn't you."

"Were you surprised?" Dani asked as she turned back towards Aaron, who was studying some spot on the floor.

"Sure was, princess," Aaron said. "But it was the best kind of surprise, ‘cause I've missed you."

"I miss you more," Dani said.

"So Hawk," Kelly interrupted. "You sort of know Declan and Micah from our video chats. This is Declan's brother Cade, and Micah's friend Rebecka."

"Awesome," Hawk said. "Great to meet you all."

"Can I have sprinkles with snack?" Dani interrupted, not that she was talking to Hawk, with Aaron there he might as well have been invisible, to both of them it seemed.

Aaron's eyebrows shot up and Hawk could tell he was scrambling to figure out how to answer.

"Be lucky she isn't asking to have them on her wings," Hawk said, directly addressing Aaron.

If there was ever a time to acknowledge him, it should have been then, only Aaron, stroked his chin and muttered. "Not sure how garlic parmesan sprinkle wings would taste."

"Wings are wings man," Cade said on his way to the table. "With the right amount of heat on them, sprinkles might bring a welcome balance."

"Ohhh," Dani hummed. "We try sprinkle wings?"

"I don't think you'd like wings as hot as we'd have to make them to balance out the sprinkles," Hawk said. "Remember the cinnamon candy you tried at the library?"

Her nose scrunched up as she squinted. "Blech! Those were yucky."

"And that's exactly how screaming hot chicken wings would taste, even with sprinkles on them," Hawk said, which at least got her to ponder her request for a moment.

"Okay," Dani said, "But I still want sprinkles."

Now Hawk was the one stammering for an answer, while Aaron scooped Dani up and set her on the booster seat Kelly had already installed on a chair.

"What if we try some extra special magical sprinkles full of cheesy goodness," Aaron offered.

"Cheesy…sprinkles?"

"Yup, cheesy sprinkles," Aaron said with a conspiratorial wink, "wanna see?"

"Pweeze!"

While Hawk struggled to figure out what the hell Aaron was talking about, Aaron had gotten busy making Dani a plate of food, and a balanced one too. Hawk could tell she was as eager to see these magic sprinkles as he was, so when Aaron produced a big green container of grated parmesan cheese, Hawk snorted and doubled over, laughing as Dani clapped with glee.

"Cheesy sprinkles, cheesy sprinkles, lots ‘n lots of cheesy sprinkles," Dani sing-songed as she squirmed in her seat. Aaron covered the shredded wing meat Kelly had thoughtfully deboned for her with a mound of parmesan cheese and Dani happily dug in.

"All right guys, I've got sizzling hot buffalo, garlic-parmesan, honey-garlic, chili-garlic, and mild buffalo wings, along with potato salad, corn on the cob, and strawberry shortcake for dessert," Kelly announced as everyone else started dishing up portions to fill their plates.

"Yo man, last I checked, all of our reflections showed up in the mirror," Micah quipped, cracking wise with Kelly.

Hawk listened to it all unfold while he and Aaron filled plates for Liam and Ella, and still Aaron hadn't acknowledged him at all. When he glanced up to set Ella's plate in front of her, he noticed Declan, Cade and Micah eyeing Aaron with an assorted mix of confusion, surprise, and shock, though he had no clue why. Had they noticed Aaron deliberately ignoring him or was it because they hadn't seen through Aaron's prickly nature to glimpse the softhearted bastard inside?

As he focused on cutting Ella's corn off the cob, he finally heard the voice he'd been dying to hear since he'd gotten on the plane, and Aaron didn't seem happy.

"Your little surprise could have backfired you know," Aaron grumbled, keeping his voice low. "I'd given serious thought to heading down to Tahiti for the weekend."

"And miss family night? Shame on you," Hawk replied, cutting him a stern look.

Aaron just shrugged and poured Liam a drink after Hawk watched him check to make sure it wasn't caffeinated. "I wasn't exactly feelin' it."

"Then you aren't trying hard enough," Hawk growled, pleased when Aaron left it at that before they wound up in an argument at the table.

The promise of sprinkles meant Dani was focused on her food, so Hawk soon lost himself in his meal and a somewhat normal day out with other adults, at least until he noticed that Aaron had only taken a small spoon full of potato salad and a couple wings. Kelly raised an eyebrow at him when their eyes met and Hawk shook his head, because this would be the worst moment in the world to bring it up. It was a running joke that Aaron woke up extra early on family day to eat breakfast, then went back to bed for a few more hours, skipping lunch and showing up ravenous by the time supper rolled around, so to see him snag a mini-cob and a single biscuit was a shock to say the least.

Still, they knew better than to address it with him when Aaron was already uncomfortable. He hadn't looked up from his plate and Hawk could see the ridged tension in his shoulders and how the only ones he glanced at was Dani, to make sure she was still eating his food and Cade, who was directly across from him. In fact, the longer he watched the more he started to notice the way Aaron's eyes lingered on him when Cade wasn't looking, and how he cocked his head to the side from time to time, like he was trying to unravel some mystery about him.

"Since we'll have a captive and much too stuffed to move audience by the end of the evening, I propose we unveil a few of the new songs for everyone," Kelly said when they were roughly halfway through the meal.

Being able to observe the band and the family they'd chosen to bring gave Hawk a better understanding of what Kelly had been talking about when he'd said that everything was still fractured. Kelly and Declan conversed. Kelly and Micah conversed. Micah and Declan gave each other shit from time to time, while Cade gave everyone shit, including Aaron who he actually managed to get a smile out of moments before Aaron flipped him off for mentioning something about Aaron's lack of grace on and off the pool table.

The fuck was that all about?

A surge of jealousy shot through Hawk with a swiftness that caught him completely off guard. Never in their crazy, on again off again relationship, had Hawk ever had a moment of worry about someone replacing him. Even when they were supposedly broken up, they couldn't keep their hands off one another, angry fucking instead of talking their way through too many situations.

Because Aaron was his.

Deep down, he knew he never fully relinquished that claim on him even when they were apart, but lately he'd been feeling the aching sting of the distance he'd imposed, one of several reasons he'd hopped on a plane with three kids. Aaron needed to know that he was still Hawk's, even while there was still shit to work out, because he'd seen the fuckin' video of Aaron and Kazzy making out against a pillar in Shenanigans. That shit wasn't about to happen again, nor was he going to be able to handle seeing a new video popping up somewhere of Aaron tongue-fucking Cade the way he was eye-fucking him across the table.

"Hey," Micah piped up. "How are we supposed to play for everyone when I don't have a handle on the delivery for most of the songs yet?" Micah protested after he'd washed down a mouthful of food. "Like I told you on day one, I'd sing for as long as you needed me to, but we really need to find someone permanent before we take a gig."

"Hell, we haven't even worked out the kinks in most of beats," Declan added. "They're far from performance ready."

"Which is exactly why we need more ears on them," Kelly insisted "To get some feedback and make sure we're going in the right direction. Better to do that in a small, intimate setting, then up on stage where the jackals can pick us apart."

"Aaron can sing," Hawk offered, staring at the man as his head jerked up and he glared past the kids at Hawk and shot him the bird.

Hawk raised an eyebrow at him in response, eye darting to the kids and back to Aaron, a silent reminder that if one of them picked up what he'd just done and did it in playgroup, Aaron was going to be the one to pay.

"Please sing, Unky Aaron, I like when you sing," Dani pleaded, which pretty much sealed the deal right there.

Hawk knew Arron would never back out and risk disappointing the kid but the gleam in his eye promised vengeance, and not of the pleasant kind.

"Checkmate," Declan chuckled.

Hawk saw Aaron's hand twitch, like he wanted to flip him off too, only he picked up a wing instead and spent far too much time dunking it in sauces before taking a bit out of it. Anyone else and he hadn't hesitated. Hawk was sure Declan noticed it too. He caught the briefest flash of disappointment in his eyes before Declan returned his attention to his plate. Cade was glaring daggers at Aaron, who looked to just be pushing the food around in between bites. The whole vibe felt off, like someone had just dropped a bomb of a secret and nobody knew how to respond to it.

"I umm, forgot my phone downstairs," Aaron said abruptly, sounding lame as hell as he stood up.

"You don't need it," Kelly replied, shooting him a stern look.

Glaring, Aaron did flip him off. "You don't know that."

"He might not, but I do," Hawk said in the tone he reserved for when he wasn't in the mood to have Aaron try to argue with him. "It, and whatever green, leafy substance you were planning on playing with before you returned, can stay exactly where they are until the end of the night."

Aaron ducked his head and poked at a piece of corn, getting it stuck on a fork tine and dragging it all over his plate before finally eating it.

Yup, busted!

"Unky Hawk, you said no playing with food," Dani said sweetly. "How come Unky Aaron gets to play with vegetables?"

Hawk glanced over to see Aaron about to spear another piece of corn.

And busted again!

"I'm not playing," Aaron said, voice too cheerful and clearly forced.

Had he forgotten that there was nothing he could sneak past Hawk, especially when it had a ring of dishonesty to it. His face was too expressive when he was trying to conceal something.

"I'm just drawing some notes so I won't forget them," Aaron offered, cheeks pinking up a little, which just told Hawk that he knew it was a lame attempt at an excuse.

"Ohh is that new song?" She asked, pointing at his plate.

Bless her for trying to give Aaron an out. Hawk couldn't keep the smile off his face as he watched her intently stare down at Aaron's plate trying to read what he'd written there.

"I think that's exactly what it'll be when I'm done," Aaron said, ruffling her hair.

"Alls I see is squiggles."

Cade snorted as she leaned over as far as the booster seat would allow her, forcing Aaron to tuck one of her crooked ponytails behind her ear, while Hawk just chuckled at their antics, because it really was awesome to see the dynamic between them.

"Do you have a name for it yet?" Kelly asked, shooting Aaron a pointed look.

Panic, betrayal and squinty-eyed fury, that's the look Aaron shot Kelly's way, along with a double bird which he punctuated by sticking his tongue out at him, but only after he'd checked to make certain none of the kids were paying any attention to him.

"Look Unky Aaron, I draw notes too!" Dani declared.

She sure was trying, even if they looked like streaks of sauce across her plate. The fact that she'd already eaten far more of her meal than Aaron wasn't lost on Hawk either. His new obsession with his weight and how he looked with his shirt off was concerning, and something Hawk intended to keep an eye on in the future.

"Go ahead and explain to her why she shouldn't be doing that," Cade urged in a tone that made it sound like a challenge.

"Oh, this I've gotta hear," Micah remarked, propping his head on his hand to watch everything unfold.

His declaration drew the attention of everyone else at the table, all eyes turning towards Aaron as they waited for him to try and weasel out of this.

Aaron raised an eyebrow at Cade before turning his attention back to Dani. "Well, there's a couple reasons playing with your food is a bad idea, especially when it's messy. You wouldn't wanna get sauce all over your wings, would you? It might gunk them up and then how would you flap them?"

"These don't flap, silly, they flutter," Dani replied, smiling brightly at him.

"But if they get gunky, they might get stuck together, then you wouldn't be able to move them at all," Aaron reasoned. "Not only that, but the sauce might cover up all your sparkly glitter. You wouldn't want that, would you?"

She huffed at that, eyes narrowing. "No."

"And what happens if you're playing with your food and you accidently get it on the floor?" Aaron said. "You'll make more work for the kitchen gnomes. Then they'll be too tired to bake cookies, and we'll have to let Uncle Kelly try again and this time, he might burn the whole batch instead of just half of them."

Her eyes narrowed more, and she got that gleam in them right before she pouted at him again. "You're making that up! Unky Kelly said he not burn cookies, he said a mean fiendy ate them all. He helped me make fiendy traps, but we didn't catch nuthin'."

The look on her face was priceless, disgruntled, and adorable all rolled into one. Everyone at the table was snickering while Aaron covered his eyes and groaned.

"I might be fibbing just a little bit," Aaron admitted.

"But fibs are lies and lyin' is bad, right Unky Hawk?" Dani asked, turning in her seat to face him.

"That's right, Dani," Hawk said, smirking at Aaron, who turned away to stare back down at his place.

"I'm just gonna shut up and eat now," Aaron muttered.

"We're not ‘posed ta say shut up," Dani pointed out. "Unky Hawk said it not nice."

"He's right," Aaron said softly, and slowly picked at his food until her plate was empty and she shoved it away with a triumphant grin.

"Can I have my sprinkles now, pweese?" Dani asked.

"Don't you wanna let your food settle a little," Hawk asked.

She patted her belly and shook her head. "It's settled. Nothin's movin' in there."

"Guess that means I gotta go downstairs," Aaron said.

Yeah, he looked entirely too thrilled about that.

Hawk shoved his chair back from the table. "You three be good for Uncle Kelly, I'm going to go with Uncle Aaron and make sure he doesn't get lost."

"How's he gonna get lost goin' downstairs?" Ella wanted to know.

"You'd be surprised," Hawk and Kelly mumbled at almost the exact same time.

Of course, Dani perked up at that and she started bouncing in her seat. "Ohhh I like surprisees! I go too? Pretty pweese!"

"Not this time kiddo, not even with sugar and cherries on top," Hark replied, standing as Aaron glared.

Hawk knew that scowl and had a good idea of what names Aaron was mentally calling him, too.

"Awe…." Dani grumbled, but she stayed in her chair as they walked away.

As they took the elevator down a flight to Aaron's condo, neither said a word. Hawk leaned against the left wall, while Aaron leaned against the back one, hands in his pockets. He kept them there all the way to his door, but when he reached in his pocket for the key, Hawk nudged past him to open it with the one Aaron had given him years before.

"You didn't have to come down here with me," Aaron insisted as he headed straight for his kitchen counter, where a bottle of sprinkles sat in front of the spice rack. "I'm perfectly capable of retrieving a bottle of sprinkles and finding my way back upstairs. See, they're right here."

"I didn't come down here for them," Hawk said, crowding him back against the counter until Aaron had nowhere left to go. "But I think you know that, so let's cut the shit."

"Fine, what did you come down here for?" Aaron asked.

When he turned to face Hawk, mere inches separated them, but Aaron didn't go up on his tiptoes to kiss him, nor did he pull Hawk into a hug. He just leaned back some like he was desperate to keep distance between them, and stared at Hawk's chest, refusing to lift his head, even when Hawk pressed a finger beneath his chin and attempted to coax him into raising it.

"There's no reason to be so stubborn about such a little thing," Hawk muttered, staring down at him in the hopes that Aaron would glance up, just once, so he could see how hurt Hawk was about distance that existed between them."

"I've got every reason," Aaron growled. "Now what do you want?"

"Well for starters, I wanted to tell you that you could stop staring at Cade anytime now," Hawk grumbled. "He hasn't noticed yet, but I sure as fuck have."

"The hell are you talking about? I've hardly looked up from my plate all night."

"And when you have, the only place you look is at him."

"What's it to you?"

"I'd hate to see you make a fool of yourself ogling the man," Hawk said. "Especially when he's the spitting image of the man you can't stand to look at. Your prejudice is showing and it's not pretty."

"I'm not prejudiced."

"Then what would you call it?"

"Uncomfortable."

"You know how to get over discomfort don't you?"

Aaron's mock yawn came complete with an eye roll. "I'm sure you're about to tell me."

Fuming, Hawk decided to let it pass, if only to show Aaron that he couldn't get a rise out of him. "You confront the thing that makes you uncomfortable."

"I'll take that under advisement."

"You do that, and while you're at it, stop acting like you can't front this band. You can, and you should. The only person limiting you at this point is you."

"Thanks Dr. Phil, now, if you don't mind taking the sprinkles back upstairs, I've got some dabs to do before I rejoin everybody."

Growling, Hawk gripped his arm, giving him a little shake. "You need to leave that shit alone."

"Not a chance in hell."

"Why not?"

"'cause I already gave up the booze, which, I admit, was bad for me. But the weed keeps me from crawling up the walls."

"You ever think about calling me when that feeling hits?" Hawk asked.

"You've kinda got your hands full."

"I'll never not make time for you. I thought you knew that, but the only times you've picked up the phone since you visited have been to read Dani her bedtime story."

"Because at least that's something I can do to help you," Aaron said. "Besides, the only time you pick up the phone is to growl at me about something I've fucked up! I've begged Kelly to stop sending you messages about what's going on with the band. You've got more important things to worry about, and that's okay, you don't need to worry about any of this, especially me."

"Whether I need to or not, I worry, especially when you start smoking up before you even roll outta bed."

"So I've perfected the art of wake and bake. Everyone needs a talent."

Hawk really had to grip the counter hard to keep from shaking him again "You're plenty talented without that shit."

"And you're biased."

"Bullshit!" Hawk snarled, slamming his hands on the counter to be certain he had Aaron's attention. "If I didn't believe you could handle taking over the vocals, I'd be the first one to tell you not to do it. What I heard on that recording Kelly shared with me tells me that not only can you, but you need to." Hawk said. "I think you've been smoking so much of that shit lately that it's fueling your anxiety instead of curbing it."

"I don't smoke that god damned much!"

"Then you're smoking the wrong strains. How high is the THC count in what you've been buying lately?"

"High enough."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the best one I've got."

Shoving away from the counter, Hawk started to pace, sorting words and rejecting them so he didn't say something hurtful. "What's your excuse for not texting? Or not sending anymore photos and memes?"

"Maybe I finally got the hint, okay," Aaron said. "You told me to give you space. That's what I did."

"By making out with Kazzy?"

"It felt good to be wanted for a moment."

"When have I ever not wanted you even when I'm pissed as hell!"

"Whatever."

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"When I asked to stick around you turned me away, remember," Aaron snarled. "And when I did send you photos, all you did was point out that I wouldn't be able to do whatever I was doing if I was up there with you. I get it, okay. You've made it clear that you don't want me and I'm trying to be good with that. Now you wanna push me into singing in front of a bunch of strangers and on top of it all, you don't want me to take the edge off so I don't look like a complete idiot when I try to pull that shit off. I'm not like you, Hawk, I don't like having everyone's attention on me. All I ever wanted was to make music and feel something that didn't suck all the god damned time."

Huffing, Hawk threw up his hands and grumbled beneath his breath as he continued his relentless back and forth journey between the dining room and the kitchen. "Did you ever once stop to think that I only said that because I didn't want you waiting around for me to have the time and energy to give you what you need? I sure as hell can't handle you wandering off to the city to find a club and someone who can! If you're up there with me, then you're mine! You should know by now that I won't share!"

"Wha…."

"You heard me. Think on that for a moment while you listen to what I'm about to say." Only when Hawk was sure he had Aaron's undivided attention did he continue speaking. "I need you to be sure. I know what I feel. I know what I've always felt but you've constantly run hot and cold and that's okay, that's you and you weren't ready for what I wanted to offer. You're still not. Being ready means you leave that shit alone. I won't have it up there, not even where the kids can't see. I love you. Do with that bit of knowledge what you will. I'm going to take these sprinkles upstairs now before Dani leads a search party after us. I'd like you to walk out of here with me, but if you're truly hell bent on doing those dabs, then I'll leave you to it, though I think Dani might be a little upset that you weren't the one to hand these to her."

It was dirty pool, but Hawk didn't care at this point. That video and Aaron's continued insistence that Kazzy would be a good fit for the band had left Hawk feeling a bit salty and on edge.

"I'll come up with you," Aaron murmured, though he still wouldn't meet Hawk's gave.

That wouldn't do.

"Good choice," Hawk growled as he pulled Aaron to him, his lips descending on Aaron's in a brutal kiss. Relief washed through him when Aaron started kissing back with barely a moment's pause, his fingers sinking into Hawk's hair as they made out. Hawk pinned him against the wall with his body and trapped both of Aaron's wrists in on hand, slowly raising them above his head as he rocked against him. Rough, messy, and hot as hell. Hawk's body felt like it was on fire and his jeans felt way too tight. Just when he was about to drag Aaron to the floor and fuck him stupid, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Alright you two, I don't care if you're fighting or you're fucking, you need to break it up and come back upstairs, the natives are getting restless. Liam has already asked Declan if it was possible to tie fire extinguishers to his chair to use as battering rams.

As stunning as the words were, what was more surprising was the way Aaron froze, while Hawk snorted and leaned against him, shaking with laughter at Kelly's words.

"Alright already, we're coming," Hawk yelled, before cupping Aaron's cheek and lowering his voice so that only he could hear. "And later tonight you will be too."