Chapter 27

R osa was well on her way to being a Joanified seamstress, the kid's costumes looking beyond adorbs. She was working her fingers to the bone to get them done in time and she was adamant about doing it all herself. Mal teased her she was crazy, but I totally understood Rosa's drive.

My fingers slipped into my pocket, fingering the small pouch of beads I'd acquired after winning many a game of keeps with the small gem-rock things Lo denaii favored. I was sure I had enough to make a bracelet for Odix, Gopher, Kooky, and even the surprisingly attentive, but not in a kiss-butt kind of way, Rek.

Like before, he always seemed to be around, but unlike before, he was helpful, kind— he was actually listening.

I had a bet with myself going just how long this would last.

"Where go? You shoe broke." Rek grunted in my general direction and pointed down at my shoe.

"It's not bad yet. I'm actually going to see Doogie about some sort of shoe glue or whatever you all use to make human shoes, and see if he knows anything about bracelet making."

"Why Jojoknee want Doogie show make bracelets?" His face said it all but he didn't comment.

Laughing at the sourpuss look on his face, I shrugged. "Maybe I wanna make bracelets."

Lifting my arm, he waggled Gopher's bracelet at me. "Joansie has bracelet pretty from Goober."

"Not his name," I singsonged.

"Gopher not it neither," he sang right back in a high falsetto, making me laugh.

We'd settled into this weird pseudo friendship. He didn't push and I certainly didn't tug. I had to admit, though… It was kinda nice. Really nice.

"Ugh. Rek sing stupid," Doogie sniped, making a face at him, then went out of his way to greet me with a big hug that left Rek glowering over at him.

"Rek has the green eyes, like my mama say?" Doogie taunted as I swatted at him to knock it off.

"Yes," Rek bit out without reservation. Folding his arms over his chest, he grumbled something under his breath that had Doogie cracking up.

Walking over, Doogie slapped Rek on the back. "What bring Rek and Jo to Doogie hut?"

"I want to make bracelets but not girly ones. They need to be thick and strong but not, like, dangling in the way," I explained.

Doogie glanced between us. "Then why come to Doogie? Doogie no make bracelets."

Giving him the stink eye, I deadpanned, "You're better at basket weaving than your Mama and Daisy combined. Short of Zhuii's incredible talent, you're practically the chief artisan of Yetidom."

"Doogie no know ‘bout that…" the blushing male grumbled as he glanced elsewhere.

"Doogie do," Rek muttered, "Doogie likes it. Eats is up. Now help Jojo make the pretties so Rek not have to stare at Doogie stupid face more than Rek not want to."

"Nobody's holding a gun to your head," I pointed out, then turned back to Doogie.

"Rek want be here. Want be with Jojoknee. No want listen to Jojomine tell Doogie how great him not ‘cause he make lady pretties and him lie and say no so Jo say more nice things, make him want to make the pretties Rek already know him going to," Rek softly huffed and puffed, chuffing softly.

Doogie shrugged and pointed to a bare patch of ground in his front yard. "Doogie go get things. Sit there."

Nodding, Rek held his arm out, waiting like a gentleman for me to take it, then nabbed my basket from me, and walked me over to the spot indicated.

"Bring things sit on!" he called out, motioning for me to wait.

"Rek butt bony?" Doogie called back.

Rek let out a chuff of a noise. I stared at him, waiting for it, the inevitable explosion because Doogie had just pricked his pride. It never came.

"You bring?" Rek barked back.

"For Rek's bony buns? Jes," Doogie snarked back.

When Rek turned to me to find me staring at him, he shrugged at my raised-browed stare. "What?" Rek barked defensively. "He brings the things to sit on for my Jo, yes?" Under his breath, lower, he huffed and puffed, "After him say the stupid things…"

Giving his arm a squeeze, I couldn't help but smile.

Catching the look on my face, a soft purr, small but growing, rattled Rek's chest.

"Doogie hears that!" my bratty brother from another mother called out.

"Plug your ears, then, ya big baby!" I shot back caustically before Rek could even think to.

The purr rattling his chest kicked up so loud I could barely hear Doogie's heartfelt groan and muttered complaints as he rejoined us. I only had eyes for a wildly purring fuzzball with smiling green eyes.

???

I n no time I was cranking out masculine bracelets under Doogie's tutelage.

Rek eyed each one, sitting there as docile as a lamb, and just watched.

When I at last had one basic bracelet done for each male that had somehow wormed their way into my heart, I began to sort through the pretties I'd brought along.

"Spose add those making bracelet," Rek pointed out, making me wonder if he was more interested in all of this than he let on.

"Yeah, but now that I look at them, they almost look too plain, don't they?"

Doogie shrugged but then shook his head. "Pretties for males give females. Males no need pretties." Jerking a finger at my pouch, he grunted. "Why not trade at markets, things Jo wants?"

Eyeing the sparkling pretties, I had a duh moment. "I forget you guys sometimes use these as currency." Frowning, I muttered, "Do you know anyone who'd be willing to trade me, though? A lot of market males won't. After the last few times, it's kind of soured me on the whole thing. I've resigned myself to window shopping."

"What Jojo want from markets?" Doogie asked, exchanging a quick look with Rek that had my eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Nothing at the moment," I responded lightly, like I didn't give a fig if people at market wanted to trade with me or not, because I so did not.

"I have a blurry idea of Odix's dwelling. Can either of you take me there?" I murmured absently into the silence that followed.

"Rek take," Rek grunted out, right as Doogie stood and stretched and announced, "I take."

"Field trip!" I chirped, popping up to stuff my bracelets in my pocket and slip my arms through theirs.

"Joansie right. Like annoying, smelly baby," Rek told Doogie, smiling over at him as if it was a compliment.

"Not what Jo say." Doogie snorted at Rek's attempted insult.

Rek's insta-scowl made me laugh. Someone was feeling thwarted.

Reaching Odix's abode, I glanced around to make sure this was the right place. This couldn't be it. "What the hell happened?"

"Chimbly break," Rek muttered, eyeing that mess.

"He can't live in that," I murmured, aghast. How did he heat his place with a big old hole like that in the side of it?!

"Odix Lo denaii," Doogie reminded.

"It's still not right," I huffed. "How long's it been like this?!"

Rek shrugged his shoulders, and Doogie grew thoughtful as he scratched at his head. "While," Doogie said finally.

Walking over to his door, I opened it. "Looks like he hasn't been here for a while."

"Always with Goober now," Rek commented.

"Maybe stay with Gofur. Him tell Doogie, he do," Doogie said on a grunt, elbowing Rek on his way past to get inside.

"Why Oddits tell Dummy? Dummy Oddits' mommy?" Rek snickered, rubbing at his side.

"You dummy," Doogie muttered, frowning as his gaze darted around. "Odix Doogie friend."

"Best friend," I corrected, offering Doogie a comforting pat as I passed. With a glance his way, I murmured, "Not even Gogo boots could take your place, bub."

Doogie looked at me sharply for that but the tension in his shoulders, riding him, seemed to ease up.

"This place needs a sprucing up," I muttered, eyeing Odix's vacated digs. Turning to Doogie, I gave him a pathetic look. "He's your best friend."

"No look at Doogie like that. Look at you dummy like that, not Doogie," Doogie huffed and chuffed, jerking a thumb at Rek.

Rek snorted at the look on my face and walked over to a window to open it. He made a face at all the dust threatening to choke him out.

My lower lip jutted a little and I gave him the big sad eyes.

"No work on me," Doogie insisted.

I just kept it up.

With a growl, he snapped, "Bah! You stay. Dummy comes to go gets things."

"Yay!" Fist pumping the air, I danced in place.

"Rek help," Rek announced.

"Like Rek have choice," Doogie chuckled out, smirking at the dirty look Rek threw him.

"Dummy," Rek muttered at him, and walked over to nuzzle my temple, gently placing his hand lightly at the small of my back, before hurrying off after him.

Mentally dancing in place, I stared after him in wonder.

This past week with him has been crazy. Like, crazy nice. There was no rush, no pushy, shoving ridiculousness. He was still himself, but his potential assholery wasn't flashing its fanny every five damn seconds, making it hard to be around him.

He'd looked at me like I was crazy when I started checking him for signs of a concussion. I mean, hell, he's been acting like a relatively normal, for him, perfectly pleasant being.

Standing in the middle of Odix's place, my stomach ached at the impending hunting party homecoming just on the horizon for so many damn reasons.

Odix and Gopher, we parted on awful terms. Would they even be willing to listen to me long enough to explain? They'd looked so hurt. It ate at me, day by day, bit by bit.

Would Rek still be trying as hard to be this good male he was dead set on proving to me that he could be?

I was just silly nervous, like a giggling girl, about Kooky. I was so head over tits for him it wasn't even funny. I'd go slow as molasses if it meant he was mine.

In that sense, I could relate to what Rek was doing, if that was indeed his intention, to start over and try again, both parties invested in doing better, being better for themselves as much as each other.

Smiling at the thought, wondering if Odix wouldn't like a few comfy pillows for his lumpy looking bed. I could make them out of a couple of my favorite sweaters. I've gotten heavily into upcycling my worn out clothes.

I had a few tops and pants properly thick enough for this weather, hand-me-downs from Dorothy, it didn't hurt me to part with an outfit or two here and there.

Yes. A pop of red. Or maybe grey? Blue? I believed I still had scraps left from when I made Boog's flying monkey outfit…

Mm-hm. I could see it. This was all starting to come together rather nicely.

???

P roject fix Odix's pad was an undertaking. I lost most of my nails trying to keep up with the boys. So much so, I gave up trying to fix them and filed them down for now. I could fix them later.

We finished our hut renovation project just in time for the fellas to get back.

"You not go on hunt," Doogie grunted out, jerking his chin at Rek as he walked in and took a seat at my kitchen table for a meal on me for a job well done. "Why?"

I'd tried my best to copy Kooky's fried dumpling soup recipe, but my little fried meat pockets were a wee bit too crispy and my creamy soup was more lumpy than, erm, truly creamy.

If Doogie or Rek found fault in any of it, neither said a word about it.

"Rek choose stay. Want be with Joanie. No like she ‘lone, all her males go. Rek no like." Rek scooped up a big ol' spoonful of soup and stuffed it into his mouth, chewing happily like it was the best thing ever.

Maneuvering around the odd lumps in his bowl with ease, Doogie nodded at Rek. "Jo not ‘lone. Her Kooky ask Doogie look out for Jo. Him worries."

He did? That was news to me.

"Rek keep Jojo safe," Rek grunted out.

Doogie made a coughing sound. "Him also ask Doogie keep eye on Rek, make sure he not make Jo cry no mores."

Rek paused with another heaping spoonful almost to his mouth. "Rek be good male. No want make Jojoknee sad. Rek not happy without Joanie. Rek want Joanie happy with Rek. Want Jojomine want Rek babies, not make big monster babies with Bum-bum and hurt Jojoknee pushing them out."

Doogie choked on his food a little. Eyes watering, he turned to me. "Jo wants make monster babies with Bum-bum?"

"No!" I vehemently denied, though it was hard not to laugh at Rek's version of things.

"Want make babies Kooky?" Doogie leaned in to ask.

"Why dummy not ask she want make babies Rek?" Rek grumble-muttered.

"Rek ugly. Kooky look like Doogie family. Kooky and Jo babies cute. Rek babies look like head rubbed on pillow and bites all the things. Mean. Grumpy. Can't take jokes. Growl and yell. Hope Rek babies look like Jo."

Doogie would have gone on and on, if only to tease Rek into a reaction. I'd think he was taunting him all day today, egging on an outburst, yet Rek didn't break.

Rek grumbled and bared his teeth, but none of the wild hostility of before.

"Not funny," Rek muttered. "Rek and Joanie babies look like Jojoknee. Look like they mama, not Rek."

"Rek no know that." Doogie rolled his eyes. "Might come out big, fat heads like Odix, skinny bones like Gofur."

Both males snorted at that.

"Hey, these are my imaginary babies you're bashin' here," I cautioned them. "I don't care if they come out purple with polka dots, tailed and horned, winged, whatever, as long as they're healthy that's all that matters."

"Who have wings?" Doogie tapped his lip thoughtfully, his gaze falling on Rek.

"He's more likely to have horns," I snarked.

"Bum-bum other side have horns. Tail. Rek just Lo denaii." If he rolled his eyes any harder they were going to get stuck like that. "Jojo know," Rek muttered, before going back to polishing off his food.

"What do you mean, I know? Pfft. No, I don't. He won't let me see him in his shifted form." Cupping my chin in my hand, I glanced between the two. "Both of you have had better peeks at him than I ever have."

Doogie frowned and set his spoon down. "Jo see Bum-bum form."

"When?" I burst out.

"When Jo hug him, say stay, no leave. Want him stay," Rek said for him.

"But that wasn't Bum-bum, that was- That was…" Staring at them, wide-eyed, frozen in place, I finally snapped out of it and burst into motion.

Doogie and Rek stared at me, frowny faced and confused.

Shoving my chair back, leaving my food and dinner guests abandoned, I dropped down beside my bed, threw the bedding out of my way, and started to dig around down there.

Doogie made a startled noise as Bum-bum's stone ween came to a rolling stop at his foot. Gopher's stone dick, I chucked onto my bed. Odix's, I stopped with my foot, picked up, and chucked up there with Gopher's.

I could make out Doogie smothering shocked laughter from across the room. "Jo has lots of…"

"Rock dicks," Rek finished with a loud grunt, unperturbed by the stone junk parade. Rek had already met the rock dick brigade. The nosy posy had unearthed them while helping me hunt down my misplaced sock the other day.

Dragging the cloth wrapped bundle I'd shoved under there a while back out, I tore at the material in my haste to unearth it.

My fingers smoothed over familiar bumps and grooves. Dropping flat to my ass, I blinked down at the damn things.

I didn't want to believe it.

"That's- He's- No," I mumbled, forcing the emotions welling up down.

Rek's chair scraped as he pushed it back and got down on the floor next to me.

"No," I whispered faintly, gripping the horns in my hands until my fingers were a pale white.

"Jojomine, tell Rek." Scooting up behind me, until I was in his arms, his thick legs on either side of me, he pressed his face into my shoulder for a nuzzle, then placed a kiss to the spot, just over his bite marks. "Tell Rek, my Joanie."

"He made me think- He said-" A choked sound left me. Trying to swallow past the massive lump threatening to choke me was proving near impossible. Another choked sound left me. "All this time… all of it-" Tears rolled down my cheeks as I met his concerned and rightfully confused gaze. "Bum-bum is Fuck N Run. He's Cuddle Monster/Beast Mode. He- He lied to me," I croaked. Dropping the horns like they were poisonous, I shoved them away from me.

"Bum-bum lie?" he blurted, trying to understand.

"He- That morning after, he acted like he found me in the woods in Cuddle Monster's love nest- He let me think he didn't want me, because HE didn't. All this time- I feel so stupid! The signs were all there, I just didn't see!"

The avalanche, Bum-bum and Cuddle Monster run-ins happening so close together, because he was actually them.

"I feel so fucking stupid," I bit out angrily, even as tears slowly spilled down my cheeks and my voice cracked. But in the back of my mind, I'd had those thoughts, those what-ifs. I'd be a total dummy not to have thought it. I just… I'd wanted to trust him so fucking bad. The truth of it stung as much as his lies.

"Jojoknee not stupid," Rek grunted out. "Jojo smart, beautiful, smells nice, no eats poops. Even yucky coffee breath not bad. Not gross like Odix's."

Laughing through the tears, I swatted at him until he stopped. "Odix chews minty stuff all the time. His breath is anything but bad or gross," I informed him primly.

"Rek no want kiss him find out." Rek made a face. "Take Jojomine words for it."

Turning, I curled into him, rested my head on his shoulder, and hugged him back. "Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult? Why can't it ever just be easy for once?"

"Bum-bum a dum-dum," Doogie rumbled out from his spot at the table.

The grunt Rek let out seconded Doogie's assessment.

"Do you- Do you think one of you might be up to doing me a favor?" I asked, swiping the tears from my eyes.

"Rek do it," Rek agreed without asking what it was I wanted it. He was Team Joanie all the way at this point.

"It might piss off a really big hairy behemoth?" I cautioned.

"Doogie help ,too," our thirdie in crime piped up.

Nodding, I stood and went to put on my boots and coat. "We'll need to make a pit stop at Celuk's first."

Rek and Doogie glanced at each other in surprise but nodded.

Grabbing up the horns and Bum-bum's big old blue stone dick, I shoved them into my basket, then the vase and the blanket Bum'd given me, the plates, cups, anything I could think of that had come from him.

The trek to Celuk's place took longer, I felt, with a chill in the air and it being near to pitch black out.

"It's scarier coming up this way late at night like this," I admitted.

Rek grumbled about me being too stubborn to let him carry me, yet pressed me more tightly into his side.

"What we go Celuk's for?" Doogie asked.

"A pelt," I said simply.

It was like a hush stole over them at my words. We carried on the rest of the way in silence.

"Huh. That's weird," I muttered, pointing at the smoke puffing from the chimney. My steps slowed. "Crap. Do you think Celuk's here?"

"Why Jo care Kooky here, Jo stay at Kooky's all the times?" Doogie scratched at his chin as he lifted his nose and inhaled deeply.

"Kooky, not Celuk, dummy. And, uhm, ya know, maybe because I've never actually met Celuk?" I muttered as I sped up ahead of them.

Doogie said something to Rek in Lo denaii that had Rek grumbling at him harshly in their language in answer.

Didn't matter. I didn't care. Wasn't listening.

Maybe if I went in by myself it would go over better?

"You two wait here! I'll be quick!" I called out over my shoulder as I ran to the door.

"Jo, wait!" Doogie called as he sniffed, then sneezed.

I already had the door open as he spoke.

The room was filled with Lo denaii from the hunt, a sea of familiar faces. What were they all doing here? What the hell? What about the hunt?

The tang of iron in the air was apparent even with my puny human senses. Was someone injured? Someones, I noted, spotting several banged up beasts being patched up.

Spying Lukar tending to a male who snarled every time he placed a cloth with liquid on it over a cut, my steps slowed as I got a good look at the three males being fixed up at the big table.

"What the hell happened?!" I breathed.

Despite all the males crowding in, you could have heard a pin drop, it suddenly grew so quiet.

Doogie and Rek came rushing up and inside, nearly bowling me over.

Odix turned his head in time to see Rek's arm come around me, gently holding me back through the eye that wasn't swollen shut. He snarled, looking half grizzed out already, at the sight.

Rek let out a warning growl and bared his teeth. Doogie joined in, warning him off when he looked half mad like that.

Gopher was looking a bit too looped out to properly digest what was going on, huge slashes on his shoulder exposing muscle and blood and ick and I didn't even know what else.

"Celuk!" Lukar snapped.

Kooky shot up, elongated fangs pink with what I could only assume was blood.

He had slashes going up both arms, his fur covered in varying shades of pink and red.

It looked like they'd been battling for their lives.

He took one step towards me before his brothers piled on, all struggling to pin him down so Lukar could close him up.

Again and again, there it was. "Celuk, no! Stay! Fix first!"

Berkr came over and walked right in front of my front row view, his large frame making an excellent wall. "Jo's Odix and Gofur be fine. Lukar fix up Jo's males." With a grunt, he added, as if the idea was silly but he'd been asked to as others barked things at him in their native tongue, "Jo… Kooky be fine, too." Glancing over his shoulder to make sure he'd gotten that right, he let out a snort of a chuff that made me think that was his version of a soft, amused laugh.

"What happened?!" I screeched. "Were they attacked?! I don't-"

"Dominance," Berkr said simply.

Doogie made an annoyed sound in his throat.

"Dominance?" I really didn't understand now.

"Berkr mean they fight to be Jojomine's first mate," Rek grumbled.

At his silly lovey name for me, Odix shot up, weaving on his feet, and bellowed something at Rek in Lo denaii.

"You sits down!" Lukar barked at him. "Shuts up! No shape fight now!"

"You- You were all fighting each other?!" I shouted, uncaring if it made more than half of them wince. Good. May my shriek be heard ‘round the world. "Of all the stupid, ridiculous- Make it burn, Lukar! They all fucking deserve it!"

Slipping free of Rek's grasp, I was pissed, raging. Storming right past them all, straight to the back room, I grabbed every single pelt I owned. Dragging them all out along with me, to Doogie's and a few other's wide-eyed surprise, I threw Gopher's pelt over his head as I passed, then Kooky's onto him.

I'd just made it to the door when Kooky shot up with a roar, tearing the pelt free of his head, and made to charge after me but a dog pile ensued.

"Celuk! Enough!" Lukar roared.

I froze, my gaze going to the demon fighting at the bottom of the pile. Man, I was fucking stupid. A soft, incredulous laugh left me. "You're Celuk." My voice came out a hoarse, choked whisper.

Kooky stilled, then started grumbling for the others to get off of him between barking at me to wait.

Pointing a finger at him, I bellowed, "Who the hell are you really?! I mean, REALLY?!" Storming away, I made it part way out the door before I stormed right back inside. "You're a fucking liar! I trusted you with so much fucking shit! You can't even tell me your real name?!!" Pointing at every member of his family present, including Doogie, I stared each one down in disgust. "You all must have had a lot of fun, playing your little jokes on Joanie, huh? Well, jokes on you! Fuck off, all of you! Go fuck yourselves!"

Grabbing Rek's hand on my next dramatic stomp off, I dragged him along with me.

Rek quietly grabbed the enormous pelt I was dragging along behind me and helped me stuff it into my basket. Without a word, he took the pelt I'd basically stolen from him, and placed it over my shoulders. Curling me into his side, he wrangled my basket from me and placed a kiss to my temple.

Celuk's pained roars shook the trees. They faded as we trekked into the night, but I could still hear them, faint as they'd grown.

"Aren't you going to make some sort of comment about how you've won?" I mumbled through numb lips.

"No." His grip on me tightened. "Jojoknee sad. Rek sad for my Jojomine." A low growl entered his voice. "They hurt my Jojo. Rek wants to tear them apart."

"Don't. They'll kick your ass and I like you in one piece." Turning to him, I placed my hand on his chest, smoothing it over his heart. "Tell me the truth. I need to hear it right now. Are you for real? This is you, forever and ever, amen? You and me, you mean it? You want me, warts and all, just like this?"

"Rek want Jojomine. Like this."

"Now? Forever?"

"Now. For the evers."

"Do you still have that ring I gave you?" My gaze darted to his belt, then back to his face.

Slow to respond, he reluctantly gave a short nod. Reaching for his throat, not a pouch on his belt, it took him a minute but buried beneath a thick layer of fur, he pulled the necklace with the ring on it free. Sliding it off his neck, fidgeting from foot to foot at the idea of parting with it, he held it out to me.

Holding it out to him, I started off by reminding him, "So, we're still on that trial run thing of getting back together and everything, but I think this is part of our whole problem. Ahem, Rek McGooberdedooberson-"

"That not Rek name," he interrupted, zipping it quickly when I gave him a stern look.

"Don't interrupt me, Rektal- I'm being crazy impulsive and there's no one smarter than me to stop me here."

"Joanie already mated Rek. Rek bite Joanie, give Joanie pelt-"

"Oi. You want a fucking proposal or not, asshole? Work with me here." Hands slapping to my hips, tapping my foot hastily, I gave him a look.

"Yes." Rek grabbed me up, his lips crashing down on mine as he crushed me to him.

"Well, quit kissing me then so I can ask you properly," I got out between hungry smooches.

Pausing briefly, frowning, he pulled back, plopped me onto my feet, and muttered, "Rek says, yes. Now it Rek's turn."

Taking the necklace from me, he shoved it down over his head, then grabbed something from his pouch and thrust it at me in much the same manner as he had that pink flower a few weeks ago.

Grabbing my hand, he shoved something on my middle finger. Holding my hand up to the moonlight, I made out a small, dark stone and several shiny small green and yellow ones.

"Now Jo mine for the evers," he rumbled happily as he released my hand. Grinning down at me, shoving his fingers into the back of my hair, clutching me to him tight, he took my lips in a hard, too short for my liking, panty wetting kiss.

"We're engaged-" I breathed.

"Mated," he cut in quickly.

"I fail to see how," I tutted, holding his hand after he set me down and guided me along the path.

"Jo say, Rek mine. Rek says, yes. Rek say, Joanie mine. Joanie wears Rek ring. Rek's pelt. Rek Joanie's. Joanie Rek's."

"So it's that easy, huh?" It was Vegas wedding style impulsive, and probably the dumbest thing I've done to date, all things considered, but when everything felt like it was coming crashing down around me, he was there, a solid, mindful presence when I needed him.

"Yes. That easy."

"Alright. Let's say I go along with all of this. I'm not exactly ready to go shouting it from the roof tops. We've dug ourselves a little hole with our combined bullshit and I honestly can't handle even a pinch more right now. Now what?"

"Rek take Joanie home," he purred, his voice deepening as he spoke.

"Mmhm. And then?" I prompted.

Bringing our joined hands to his lips, he kissed my knuckles. "Then Joanie takes bath in Jojomine's tub."

Not expecting that one, my lips parted and I started to respond, to stop, then start and stop again. "Why?" I settled on finally.

"Rek make tub room for Jojomine. Want Joanie happy. Rek make house bigger so Joanie want stay. Baths make my Jojo happy. My Jojo takes lots of baths at home."

My eyes widened. "I just said that shit to piss you off because you were being an asshole."

"Rek is assed hole," he corrected. A spark of humor lit his eyes and his purr cranked up. "Rek Joanie assed hole."

Say what?

"You sure you haven't been eating any weird mushrooms or anything lately?" I blurted, leaning away from him to gesture at his person.

Rek sighed, tired of my incessant line of questioning at this point. Bending, he tossed me over his shoulder, then slapped a hand to my ass. "Rek same Rek now?" he purred, adjusting my basket over his arm, then rubbing his hand up and down the inside of my thigh.

"Rek!" I squawked, slapping at his back. "What the hell?!"

The fool turned his face to press a kiss to my snow pants covered hip, reached up to squeeze my ass as I pummeled his back, and kept walking.

We didn't get around to much once we got to Rek's and he left me be for two minutes with the promise of warm tea while I slipped into Rek's oversized tub. In fact, I fell asleep in the giant metal tub almost instantly, waking when Rek jargled my shoulder to wake me, helped me out to wrap a towel around me, helped me dry my hair, and carted me off to his bed, where he snuggled me to death and, according to him, I snored like a lumberjack.

It was a weirdly boring start to the beginning of the rest of our forever, but after the chaos I'd found chucked at me left and right, I couldn't say I'd have had it any other way.