Chapter 26

W aking up to a mad hangover, the crinkling of plastic wrap, and something bumping my ass, my eyes shot open and I glanced over my shoulder, gaping as Rek, dead asleep, moaned my name, gripping the bedding in front of me, jerking me towards him, as he plastic wrapped groin humped me.

It was, uh, well, it was somethin'.

Rek's O face hit him and he shuddered, warmth smacking my lower back.

"Mine," he growled out viciously, before slumping against me, pressing the semen that had slipped free of its thin plastic wrapped imprisonment to wet my lower back.

Last night came rushing back to me like a nightmare on steroids.

My face made its own kind of O face, though it was more of the Oh shit variety. Slipping free of his hold, I tiptoed my way over to his chairs, picking my clothes dangling over them up piece by piece.

Rek snuffled awake two pieces in. Lifting his head groggily, he frowned at the wetness staining my back. One peek down at his buddy's head poked free from the plastic wrap and he shot up, gaping, pointing at me accusingly. "Rek say no make babies, Jo not know it! What Rek say?!" His hand jerked down his person, pointing at his dick accusingly. "No make baby with Rek, Rek not know it, too! Rek want know it!"

A choked noise left me. "You- You think I mauled you in your sleep to get pregnant by you?" I had to pinch myself to double check on that one. "What alternate universe have I fallen into?" I breathed.

"Pull Rek penis free, have all the funs with it! Not even wake Rek up so Rek have the fun, too! Just take!"

My face reddened as my jaw about hit the floor. "Are you fucking high?! You humped my ass, you walking turdlet! I didn't do anything to you! You did it to me, in your damned sleep! What kind of person do you think I am?!"

Snatching up my clothes, balling them up in my hands, I marched to the door, determined to stomp out of there, halted by a locked door I didn't have the puzzle key shit to unlock. Stupid upgraded door! "Let me the fuck outta here or- Or-"

"Or what?" Rek muttered, eyeing me thoughtfully.

"Or I'll climb through the fucking window!" I burst out.

Rek stood back with a shrug. "Go through window. Rek no care." Peeling his pants from his body, he shucked them, then began the process of unpeeling the plastic wrap from him.

Storming over to a window, I undid the latch and threw it open. Dumping my clothes out, I scooted a small stool near the fireplace over and used that to boost myself up. It was his biggest window, the other too lower but not big enough to fit my caboose through.

Careful of my arms, I managed to get my upper half through. It was these hips that were the bitch.

Just a little more, I told myself, wriggling that much closer to freedom.

A snort sounded from inside Rek's and he chuckled, "Jo stuck."

"No, I'm not!" I refused to believe that. Like hell would I get myself into that kind of mess.

Wriggling my hips, sucking in my stomach, kicking my legs, yeah, no dice. None of it was working. Nothin' doin'.

"Jo big butt stuh-uck," he singsonged at my backside, like this was his version of a big butt song.

I kicked my legs harder, satisfied when my left foot made contact and a grunt sounded.

"Jo?" Doogie rounded the corner, looking like he'd slept outside Rek's front door all night.

My hand slapped to my chest, keeping the girls in their assigned seating. My nipples were hard points, it was so fucking cold out.

"You stuck," he blurted, frowning up at me.

"Uhm, yeah, ya think," I huffed sarcastically. When he gave me a look, I rolled my eyes at him before deciding better of it. "I tried to crawl out the window," I admitted as I strained to hear what the hell Rek was doing in there, brushing my legs every so often.

"Jo not know how to use door?" Doogie's lips twitched, humor lightening his tone.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Look," lifting my hands, I wiggled my fingers, "could you just, I don't know, give a little tug and pull as I push?"

"That's what she says," Doogie deadpanned.

Bursting out laughing, I swiped at him, trying to growl but ruining it by giggling my ass off. "We hang out far too fucking much," I got out between wheezing laughter.

Rek grumbled something from the safety of the inside of his hut but hell if I had a clue what it was.

Loud scraping sounds from inside his hut had me wiggling my fingers, reaching out to Doogie in alarm.

"Hurry! Before he gives up and decides to saw my legs off!" I squawked.

"You just say." The slow shake of his head had me gritting my teeth.

"Douglas!" I snapped.

Furry lil fluffy eyebrows shot up. "Jo Just say- Want Doogie come closer so you hits for saying Jo's silly things she says." Doogie moved closer but leaned away from me, putting him just outside of my reach.

"I promise not to hurt you in retaliation for anything!" I swore.

Satisfied I meant it, he drew closer.

"It's fucking freezing out here," I muttered, eyeing the goosebumps pebbling my bare arms. Rek didn't have a sleeved gown stuffed into one of his backrooms? It had to be a deep v cut strappy number? I adored it, of course I did— the thing screamed Joanie— but not in freezing assed temps, my upper half hanging out a window.

"Here." Doogie nabbed up my coat and stretched his arm as far as possible to hand it to me.

"Dingus," I muttered, jerking the sleeves up my arms, the coat backwards.

The second Doogie was close enough, I smacked him upside the head.

"OW! What that for?" Glowering at me a safe, dodging distance away now, he grumbled things I was sure weren't complimentary towards me in Lo denaii. "Jo say she no hits in retail-de-ation. Jo hit!"

With a sniff, I corrected, "I whopped you one for no apparent reason than my own satisfaction. I stand by my statement."

"No know why you Kooky want Jo. You mean," Doogie muttered.

"And don't you forget it, buster," I quipped snootily. "Seriously, though, I'm fucking freezing." My hands reached out, fingers wiggling once more. "I swear I won't bodily harm you as you help me out of this mess."

"Jo… Jo forgive Doogie for being stupid, big, fat jerk head, for playing bad joke on Jo?"

"Yeah, sure, c'mon." My fingers wiggled harder.

His gaze dragged from my outstretched claws to the look on my face.

"Doogie," I snapped. "Please."

"Fine," he muttered, like he didn't believe me in the slightest but my teeth starting to chatter wasn't exactly a good sign.

Grunting and wiggling, struggling to free myself, I grabbed hold of Doogie's arms and he tried to be my anchor.

"You could help in there!" I called to Rek, whose words were mumbled nothings, muffled from inside.

Thick hands clapped to my ass, thick fingers spreading, gripping. A loud squeak left me, right before he started to push.

Doogie snorted, sneezed, and gave a short, cautious sniff before grumbling, "Joad-nee."

"What?!" Confused, I sniffed but I had no clue why he was fussing at me, acting like I'd farted for. "It wasn't me!"

Doogie gave me a pointed look. "You know no how Jo smells like Rek and Jo make the sex?"

"We most certainly did not!" My eyes bugged at his audacity. And then I remember Rek had found completion and splooged all over the back of my gown.

Doogie pursed his lips, looking like he'd sucked a lemon. Pulling back, he folded his arms over his chest. "Rek you mate?"

"It's not what you think," I said lower. "He made sex with himself, I was just… close by."

A sharp slap to my ass and a growl from inside had me growling a bit myself.

The look on Doogie's face said, Yeah, uh-huh, okay… Whatever you say.

The hands on my ass tightened warningly. Clenching my ass cheeks, face pinkening, I sputtered, "It's none of your beeswax, bub!"

Nodding, Doogie shrugged. "Fine."

"It is fine," I shot back.

"Fine," he muttered, making no move to continue to help me.

"Fine! I don't need you! I'll just… wiggle back in the way I came out."

"That what she says," Doogie grunted out with a sniff.

"Oh, shut up, you already used that one!" I growled, gripping the side of the window sill with my backwards jacket smacking me in the face and gruntingly tried to wriggle my way back inside. "I'd rather deal with the pain in the ass in there right now than the judgy bastard prissily preening out here!"

"Doogie not prissy peening." With a glower, he grunted out, "What that mean?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

Voices up ahead stopped me dead in my worm wriggling tracks.

Fuck me if that wasn't Mal and Rosa. "Shit! Doogie!"

Doogie stared down the length of his nose at me. "Did Jo need somethings?"

"Yes, you wart on my butt! Help! " I quietly hissed.

"What Jo want Doogie do?" he grumbled churlishly.

"So help me," I muttered, "if this is how the cat gets outta the bag, I will not only never forgive you for abandoning me in my hour of need, I will die of embarrassment from all of this and haunt you!"

Studying my precarious predicament, he wiggled my arms out of my coat and threw it over my face, draping my hoodie over my head. "Wait here," he muttered, leaving me like that to take off.

"How is this helping?" I hissed, jerking the hood off my head.

Rosa and Mal were just up ahead, Boog snuggled close to his Pumpkin as they walked, Tokre rubbing Rosa's shoulder, practically glued to her side like he couldn't get close enough.

I knew the moment this shit was over.

Doogie hurried up to the group, motioning for them to look at something with him.

Rosa glanced over, through Doogie's wildly waving arms. Our eyes met and held. The stark panic in my eyes spurred her into action.

"Yes! I'd love to see your new place!" Rosa gushed, grabbing Mal by the arm to lead her away.

Booger glanced over behind Doogie just as Mal was whipped around.

My face reddened and my hands lifted in a god help me but here I am shrug.

Boog's eyes widened comically. I waved him off, frantically motioning for him to shoo them elsewhere.

The second they were out of sight, I braced my knees, feet, scrambling along the wall, and tried to push myself back inside the window.

"Argh! How do I get myself into these messes?!!" I mumbled dejectedly. Because I'm fucking Joanie, that's how.

"Jo?"

Like this couldn't get any fucking worse, one of the males from my bridegroom support group, Huguar stumbled across me.

"Yo. Hey, Hu. You wouldn't happen to have a shit load of lard or something lying around, would you?" Trying for casual, putting my coat on correctly, I zipped it up and cupped my chin in my hand, my other arm folded across my chest.

"Jo need big tub lard?" he asked.

"If it'll get me outta here," I mumbled, then bit my lip.

"I go get," he said quickly, then rushed off. I gaped at his retreating back.

It was that simple for him. No questions. Nothing. He was just gonna go on ahead and get right on it.

I must have been too stunned to properly pay attention because moments later a sharp sting arced across my rear.

"Ow! What the shit, you bastard!" I barked at Rek.

Rek growled from inside his hut but it wasn't the pissed kind of exclamation I'd been expecting. Nope. There was a definite purr to it.

Frowning at that, I had a second to contemplate that before my left butt cheek was treated to the same abuse. Fuck. I'm not wearing any panties.

A soft snarl left me and my legs kicked out warningly.

"Now is so not the time for that!" I hissed.

"No find lard." Hu came rushing back, pointing off where I couldn't see. "Hu find better!" he announced, waving grandly.

Of all the fucking- Bum-bum then came lumbering into view.

"Kill me now," I whispered. Groaning, slumping where I was stuck, I grabbed at the ties of my hoodie to pull them so tight my head now looked like a hoodie-puckered-asshole.

Bum-bum spoke to Hu in Lo denaii. In a way, I was kinda grateful I had no idea what they were saying.

Walking right up to me, Bum-bum bent, making eye contact with me briefly from my puckered-hoodie-ed view as he assessed the situation. "Stuck," he rumbled.

"I am aware," I muttered tiredly.

"Who that?" Rek barked.

"Satan, come to drag you to the depths of hell! Mind ya business! Hiding in there like a dummy!" I snarled back.

Another crack on my ass, my right cheek, then the left.

Bum-bum froze, watching my face redden as my body responded.

Glancing towards my stuck lower half to my mortified face, he moved in closer, and closer, until he was right up on me.

One glance down gifted me a wonderful view of the flag pole starting to rise up and greet me between his legs.

Jaysus, so not helping to cool my jets, man.

He moved closer and closer, until my head was pressing into his stomach and he was leaning over me. Thick fingers carefully prodded my stuck hips.

A sharp growl sounded from inside but Bum-bum snapped something at Rek in Lo denaii that had him shutting up instantly.

"So… about that whole calling you a coward thing… heh-heh," I mumbled. Right about that time, I felt the hem of my nightgown shifting, open air kissing the backs of my thighs. "Uhm, what are you doing?" I squawked at Rek.

Rek replied but his voice was muffled. Thick fingers smoothed over the marks he'd left on my ass. My skin prickled and I shivered.

"That's not going to get me out of the window," I pointed out as warm digits smoothed up the backs of my thighs and his mouth followed. Oh, but it was definitely going to get me somewhere.

"Distraction," I thought I heard him mutter, but I couldn't be sure.

"From what?!" I spluttered.

Bum-bum barked something at Hu and the smaller Lo denaii rushed off.

"That's probably not the kind of distraction he meant," I burst out as those kisses traveled higher, and higher, until Rek was right there. "Oh god," I burst out when Rek dove right in, burying his face between my legs to feast. "This isn't- I- Fuck, this is so fucked up. Oh my god- Don't stop!"

Bum-bum's grip tightened and he started to squeeze and push rhythmically in time to Rek's hands rocking me back and forth on his tongue.

The bite of Bum-bum's hands squeezing my hips, forcing me back through the window, Rek's mouth working me, his tongue driving deeper, harder, mimicking the act itself, I was right on the edge.

I was just starting to tip over when something gave and I popped back inside the room. Crying out, I grabbed onto the window ledge as I shot through, hoping I didn't break Rek's neck if he tried to break my fall. My worry was unnecessary. Rek nabbed me up, jerked me free of my death grip on the sill, and dropped me on the bed. Spinning back around, he slammed his window shut on Bum-bum's grumbling face, then rushed right back over to me.

"My Joanie," he muttered as he fell over me and began yanking my hoodie open, my jacket zipper down, rushing me out of my coat. Jerking up the bottom of my gown, he peppered kisses down my throat, cupping my ass to lift me up towards him, lining us up to press home smoothly, groaning my name all the while.

Rek was a two pumps chump this time, coming along with me as I dug my nails into his back and dragged them down. "Mine," he growled into my throat, gripping me just as hard back as he pounded into me.

A heavy weight slammed into the door. A snarl to make a Krampus think twice rented the air. Rek's door might be sturdy enough for a Lo denaii, but it was no match for a beefy hybrid like Bum-bum. Two heavy slams and the thing was toast.

Bum-bum moved fast. Much faster than Rek. Before he could blink, Bum-bum had the door crammed haphazardly into the doorframe and was tearing Rek off of me, sending the sock monkey flying across the room, to rush in and take his place.

"You have lost your damn mind-" I screeched, rolling and scrambling on my hands and knees across the bed. Not today, Mr. Snow Miser.

Thick fingers wrapped around my ankle and gave it a yank. I flew across the bed, landing with my legs dangling over the edge and my mouth flying with cuss words.

Bum-bum's rumble vibrated my back as he blanketed himself over me. Curling himself closer, he lifted his head to snarl at Rek, warning him to stay back. "Mine," he garbled out, like he hadn't at one point been telling me to fuck off.

"Jo mine ," Rek growled right back from his spot in the corner near the fire, sitting slumped and at a funny angle.

"Mine," Bum-bum garbled out a little louder.

"Is this childish dibs bullshit really necessary?" I huffed and puffed beneath Snow Patrol, resisting the urge to wriggle knowing he'd just draw this shit out that much more. I'm a ho. I'll just say it now and save myself the what the fuck later. A ho for furry white snow bitches. I accept this failing in me.

"Mine," Bum-bum repeated, rubbing his body along mine, until my ass and entire back were numb from the garbled purring rumbling from him.

Assured Rek was going to stay in his corner, his thick thighs slid between mine and the fat head of that monster he calls a peen prodded at my sex.

Rek snarled when Bum-bum let out a choked groan. "Jo no want stupid head, bad male," Rek growled at him menacingly, standing on shaky legs to glare at him. His dick was still out of its furry casing and hard as a rock, covered in our combined juices.

Eyeing him, Bum-bum didn't let up.

"Are we really going to do this?" I choked out as Bum-bum's hand slid between us, gliding down my belly, to brush enticingly over my clit.

My hands tightened in the bedding, eyes squeezed shut tight, and a soft moan left me. The big idiot knew just what I liked.

I was still wet and sensitive from my first climax, making his entry smooth. Fuck, he was thick, hard, and just shy of too damn long.

"No moan like Jo like it," Rek muttered, folding his arms over his chest to eye us petulantly. His cock jerked and he glared down at it, like how dare you like watching our woman get her pussy pummeled by another!

Bum-bum let out a rumble of his own that had Rek hissing and baring his teeth at him. "You no break my Jo. Break my Jo, Rek kill you," Rek threatened, yet had yet to move from his spot.

Pre cum pearled at the head of Rek's shaft and it jerked again as Bum-bum rocked into me. Bum-bum was in no hurry, taking his time worshiping my body, slowly bringing me to the edge. His growls grew discordant, his movements growing jerky. Someone didn't mind our audience? Or enjoyed claiming me in front of Rek? New kink unlocked for the big guy or what?

I didn't want him to slow down. I wanted him to break me. A plaintive mewl left me and I showed him my throat.

The snarl in Rek's throat died, until he was flat out gaping, jaw practically on the floor. Strong fingers grabbed my jaw, forcing my face away, and my jacket was snagged and jerked over my head. Bum-bum had shifted and didn't want me to see, I surmised.

Rek made a choking sound as Bum-bum gripped my hips and went for broke. When I came this time, I screamed, creaming all over his cock as he pistoned into me and tipped over along with me. Bum-bum's roar was deafening. My back was so numb from his purring and snarling I barely felt it when he re-bit his mark on my shoulder.

Dropping my hips back down onto the bed, joining the rest of me in a replete slump, I listened as Bum-bum paused, and then began to prod at the stitches on my arms. Leaning in, he sniffed at my injuries, then began to lap at them steadily. Fangs picked at each stitch gently. I felt the pop of each giving as he removed them with his teeth. It didn't hurt. It was in fact the exact opposite. His tongue left a trail of pleasurable tingles in its wake.

After he'd finished with the last stitch, he kissed his way up my arm, over my shoulder, then laved his bite mark.

Afterwards, he made a hasty exit. I'd expected as much, so it shouldn't surprise Bum-bum any when I lifted my head and shouted, "Coward!" after him.

Sitting up, I jerked my jacket off my head and slid it on. As if nothing had happened, I stood, walked on jellied limbs across the room, and tipped my head at Rek as if this was some sort of polite historical and not the mess that is my life, and with a shove at his door, sending it toppling, I lifted the hem of my gown carefully and stepped barefoot out into the cold. Walking around to the side of Rek's hut house, I collected my dropped items and would have scurried off if Rek didn't come barreling around the corner, snatch me up, and drag me back inside.

"What that? What that happen now?" he demanded to know.

"Fuck if I know! You were there, too! You tell me!" I shot right back.

Pacing in front of the door, my only viable exit, he grumbled, "He- Him… take Joanie, make Rek watch?!"

"Oh, like I asked him to!" I shot back. Waving at his peter, I gave him a look. I'd like to see him try and deny he hadn't been invested in that, whatever the hell that was.

Was that all a power play, perhaps? Let him know who was in charge? Rek was no stranger to displays of dominance— he'd tried to and failed many a time! I said none of this. I was a bit fuzzy on Bum-bum's motives myself. He loves me, he loves me not. Make up your damn mind, biggun!

"I need a shower and a mug of tea the size of my ass," I muttered, still tingling in all the right places.

Rek grunted and walked to the stove to put a pot of water on. Before I could ask what he thought he was doing, he grumbled, "Jo wash. Rek fix door. Make no-baby tea for Jo."

Narrowing my eyes suspiciously, I muttered, "Why?"

"Jo want have big, ‘normous baby from stupid head?" His gaze darted up and down my length worriedly, like he just couldn't comprehend me carrying Bum-bum's monster baby to term and living to tell I'd birthed it.

Honestly, I was a bit skeptical on that one too, considering our size difference. "You don't have a shower," I said finally.

"Rek have bathed tub," he grunted out, motioning down the hall as he set a dainty looking tea cup I'd never seen before and a matching saucer out.

Walking down the hall, I muttered, "Whomever's house you stole all this shit from, I hope they don't miss it much."

Rek did indeed have a tub, a big metal one with a setup similar to Kooky's. He'd really gone all out on his place.

"Jo know how work?" Rek grunted from the other end of the hall.

Glancing from him to the bath tub, I bit my lip. Did I dare?

Rek held up his hands. "No trick. Rek stay in kitchen. Jo have bath."

"I could always slip into the love- uh, the underground cave and bathe in one of the pools down there."

"No!" Rek barked. Clearing his throat, shaking his head, he rumbled, "No go down there no more."

"Why?" My brow pinched and I made a face.

"It no work," he grunted out, gaze darting away.

"Are you just saying that so I'll bathe in your bath tub?"

"No."

I believed him but there was something off. "Did it cave in?" I wondered aloud. It pinched my heart to even contemplate it.

"No," Rek said slowly, guiltily.

Swallowing thickly, past the bile threatening, I asked softly, "Rek… what happened?"

Rubbing at the back of his neck, Rek grimaced. "Rek mad…"

I could guess the rest. I didn't want to think about it. "I'll take a bath here, if that's still fine." I couldn't help but choke up as I spoke. He'd destroyed our love nest.

Rek nodded, and I turned to disappear inside the large room with a sloping floor and small drain.

Standing in front of the bath tub, clutching my gown, I couldn't do it.

"Jojo?" Rek popped his head around the corner, his expression curious, that question as to whether I really knew what I was doing in there or not on his lips. It fell the moment he got a good look at me.

I felt small and silly, standing there in a trashed nightgown, frowning down into an empty tub, eyes all fucking watery. My stomach roiled. He'd trashed our cave, a symbol of our love, like it was nothing.

My voice quavered as I lifted my gaze towards him and mumbled, "I need to go."

Pushing past him, I grabbed my things, clutching them in my arms as I made a hasty retreat. I needed to just- I needed to be anywhere but here right now.

The door fell with minimal effort. Rek looked reluctant to chase after me for once.

Good.

I didn't feel like being chased by anyone today.

He called after me at the door but I took off at a dead run.

By the time I reached my place my lungs burned from the effort. My skin felt like ice, toes practically frozen.

Opening the door to my hut, I dumped my things beside the door and started yanking items free to chuck them over my shoulder. By the time I could get inside my place, the front of my hut looked like a junkyard, and I'd blown off a good head of steam.

When I could finally close the door behind me, I locked it, sealing myself shut inside.

Getting a good fire going, I rummaged through all of my suitcases and lucked into one of my stashes of no-baby tea. A wrapped bit of material caught my eye. I hadn't looked at Bum-bum's discarded horns but for a moment before hiding them away. Leaving them wrapped, I set them on the table for later.

Settling for washing up with the pitcher and washing bowl, it wasn't the same as a good, actual bath, but at the very least I felt clean.

Eyeing those horns as I sat cross legged on my bed, I had that same feeling of guilt hitting me thinking about unearthing them as I had that first day. It somehow felt wrong. He didn't want me to see his horned form. He was ashamed of it or something. Looking at those horns knowing he was averse to me seeing them felt like some sort of betrayal.

He'd let others look upon his shifted form but somehow I was the exception.

I thought my Cuddle Monster was fucking hot. If his worry was that I'd think him ugly or something, it was unfounded.

Taking the bundle from the table, I'd just started to unwrap them when there was a sharp rap at my door.

Jumping at the sudden intrusion, I hastily rewrapped the horns and stuffed them under my bed. "Just a minute!" I called out, hurriedly checking my reflection before scrambling for the door.

Rosa stood on my doorstep, a basket over one arm, no mate dogging her in sight.

As if to answer the question popping into my mind for me, she murmured softly, "Tokre is close by. I asked him to give us some girl time. He's going to go help Doogie with his hut, then come back after a bit. Noyel is at the house with the kids. He thought I could use some "me" time," she told me with a chuckle in her voice, using air quotes. Waggling her basket, she grinned. "Dorothy spotted us walking by earlier and we popped in for a quick visit. Hearing I was coming here, she sent me with this."

Standing back, I opened my door.

Rosa stepped in, eyeing the place. "It's weird that I've never been here. Honestly, you're so evasive sometimes, I don't think I've ever gotten a straight answer out of you any time I've asked where you're staying. I don't suppose you want to talk about what's going on in your yard?"

"I don't like lying to you," I admitted.

"I don't like fibbing to you either," Rosa replied with a small smile.

"I wasn't lying," I went on. "The last time you asked, I told you I was staying with a friend. I was staying with Kooky."

"Kooky," Rosa repeated, fighting not to outright grin at his silly name.

"I know. It's sad but that's what he likes to be called. I don't think it's his real name but he's being about as evasive about it as I was with you." Taking a deep breath, I offered her a small, lopsided grin.

Rosa blinked and frowned. "You mean you don't know his name?" she blurted.

"No." My shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I get the feeling he doesn't want me to know his birth name for some reason." Tapping a claw to my chin, I murmured, "What could possibly be worse than Kooky?" A snort of a laugh left me.

Rosa just blinked at me, a constipated look overtaking her expression. My god, did she know his real name? Was it that bad?

"Whatever it is, I don't wanna know." I gave her the out she looked like she needed. Taking a seat at my table, I placed my elbows on the smooth top, smacking my face into my hands. "I don't think I can handle any more surprises right now."

Rosa came around the table and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. Resting her cheek on the top of my head, she gave me a squeeze. "Wanna talk about any of it?"

"No," I mumbled into my hands.

"That bad?" she asked.

"You have no fucking idea," I whispered.

"Noyel let it slip that Gopher was trying to court you but he, uh, discovered he had a little problem…" Her voice trailed off and she waited a moment before continuing. "I hear little things here and there but I never know what's silly rumors or legit. I try and let it go in one ear and out the other."

"Don't be surprised if a shit ton of it wasn't steeped in truth," I blurted, face reddening as I grumbled under my breath about gossipy bitches. "Except for the poop rumors. I've eaten shit, but never literally."

Rosa's body shook above me. I knew she was quietly laughing her ass off. Once she got a hold of herself, she lifted off of me to join me at the table. Unpacking the basket, she split everything evenly between us. Warm bread, butter, Dorothy's much coveted stew.

One bite in and I sighed. "I don't know what she does to this but I'm not buying that "It's made with love" line. She's got some kind of special blend of herbs and spices or something hidden away going on. I can't replicate this to save my life!"

"I know, right?" Rosa nodded along as she shoved another bite into her mouth and chewed. She took a few more bites before casually tossing out there, "So… you wanna tell me what I almost walked up on earlier?"

"I'd rather die," I deadpanned, grimacing.

A choked snort laugh left her. "Noyel said you, uh, had a moment with, uhm, Rek… and then there you were, hanging out his window today."

"Stuck in the window." Closing my eyes, I admitted, "I was trying to get out through it." Much quieter, I mumbled, "Total TMI ahoy but, uh, he had a happy moment in his sleep and woke up accusing me of trying to make a baby with him… erm, without him."

Rosa nearly choked her bite of stew. "Beg pardon?"

"I know." Shaking my head, I muttered, "Believe me, I know."

Rosa sat there blinking stupidly for a full minute. "That's… I don't know what to say to that."

"Same," I mutteringly replied.

"Rek and you, for real, huh?" she murmured softly.

Staring down into my bowl, I cleared my throat. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to hurt you, or make you think I didn't think what he did to you was beyond fucked up- I-"

Rosa's hand closed over mine where I was mangling my eating utensil. "Joans, I just want you to be happy, and for whomever you choose to be with to treat you right."

"We aren't together, not really," I blurted.

Rosa paused at that. "Then what are you two?"

"At an impasse." I cringed as I said it.

Rosa's expression pinched. "I don't understand."

"He wants to be with me, but he wants me to agree to do whatever he says." My lips pursed and I scowled. My anger quickly melted into another sigh of exasperation.

"I hope you told him to shove that nonsense up his butt," Rosa muttered.

"I did." A small laugh escaped me. "Hence, the not so much togetherness."

"Ah. I see."

I really felt like she did, though.

"I haven't told Mal anything, either." My chest felt a little lighter. "Toss in Kooky and the newness of that, Odix and his crazy, Gopher and his little problem, Bum-bum and his hot and cold bullshit, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing at this point. Sometimes… I feel like I'm drowning. No matter what I do, holding someone up, dragging someone along with me, I'm still stuck, floundering just below the surface."

"Have you told anyone else about all of this?" Rosa's brow furrowed with concern.

"Kooky some, he's a good listener, and Booger when he's not too busy." Just thinking about all of this, I laughed. The noise I made sounded more pained than anything— it was short and self-deprecating. "To tell you the truth, the shit I've told you is barely scratching the surface."

Setting her eating utensil in her bowl, Rosa sat back and dragged her mug of water closer to her. "Well, I'm here now, and I'm listening."

Resting my chin on my fist, I made a face that told her that was the absolute last thing I really wanted to do right now.

Rosa nodded in understanding. "We could… sit here and have a chat about books? Or you could tell me when you were ever going to confide in me that you had been marked by Krampus and there was some kind of crazy hunt involved?"

Scowling, I pointed my eating utensil at her. "What the fuck, man, who told?!"

Rosa shrugged, her gaze growing thoughtful. Clucking her tongue, she smirked. "I told you, I hear things…"

From the way her hands were trembling slightly, I took that to mean this was very recent news for her. I knew that look. I'd worn it many times. She was still processing. The urge to shake the truth out of her and squish her to comfort her until she demanded I let up warred.

"Hear things, my thick heinie! Someone ran their fat mouth off to you!" My utensil pinged as I tossed it on the table. "I want names!"

Unperturbed by my fit of pique, Rosa snorted and rolled her eyes. "Do you also want pictures of a Spiderman, boss lady?"

"On my desk by Friday, or you're canned," I shot back.

"Yeah right. You can't quit me. Admit it," Rosa flicked her hair over her shoulder in a poor imitation of me, "you lurve me."

Tossing my last piece of bread at her, laughing when it bounced off her forehead, I barked with a laugh, "Who sounds like who now?" Sobering, I told her, "I do love you, though, your whole stupid face. Even if you look like you're not about to blab about jack."

"I love your stupid face, too," she quipped. With a sniff, she added, "Snitches get stitches."

We grinned at each other like idiots at that, shaking our heads and chuckling.

We talked for a bit longer, and before we knew it Tokre stopped in to nab his woman.

Tokre signed a greeting to me that I returned. I didn't know nearly as many words as Rosa but I was trying. Looking to his mate, he signed something at her that had her turning to me. "He wanted me to let you know that he didn't know he had the same issue as your Gofur at the time but in the end we worked through it."

The brief tightening of Rosa's expression before she quickly smoothed it out made me wonder if there was a lot more to it than that but it was tit for tat— if I didn't want her nosing around in my shit, I shouldn't be snooping around in hers. His arm tightened around her and he bent his tall frame to nuzzle the top of her head. That purr was full of nothing but pure affection. Rosa grinned and tipped her head to smile up at him.

Pulling away from her mate, she reached out and playfully poked my shoulder. "Oh, and don't worry. I didn't plan on saying anything to Mal, if it crossed your mind that I might." Nabbing me up, she hugged me once more.

"Thanks," I mumbled into her shoulder as I hugged her back.

When she hugged me even tighter, it was only fitting to tease, "I was tempted to blow a raspberry on your neck, just to be a dick because I know you'd hate it and I'm a butt like that, but I really don't want to have to deal with the fallout with your bossy butts for mates getting their dander up because you have Joanie slobber too close to your mating marks."

Rosa laughed and pulled back.

Tokre's hand fell to her shoulder and he not so subtly curled her into his side.

"How the hell did you read my mouth?! It was half pressed into her shoulder," I muttered, slapping my hands to my hips.

Rosa laughed as he signed something about a body at her. "Body language," she translated.

When my eyebrows quirked, he signed and a sharp bark of laughter left her. "Your body language, not mine," she cackled out. "He could tell you were up to some shit!"

"Oh." All the huffy puffies left me. Lifting my shoulder in a half shrug, I had to concede, "Yeah, okay. Alright. I'll buy that."

Looking hesitant to leave, Rosa reached out and snatched my hand. "If you need anything, to talk, whatever, you know you can talk to me, right?"

I could, definitely, but it also ran the risk of her crazy hearing mates overhearing and repeating things. I wasn't about to point this out so I just nodded and hoarsely replied, "One of the many reasons you're one of my very favorite people."

"One of them? Oh? I'm just one of them now?" Rosa grinned, probably expecting what I was going to say next.

"Of course. All my little niece-y, nephew, cousin-baby-god-children and then you." Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I smirked. "Don't be jelly, Rosie-o-la."

"Argh." Rosie's nose crinkled. "Rude."

Knowing Tokre wanted to leave and, honestly, I was unwilling to divulge anything else to her this day— I'd blabbed enough for one gab fest —I clapped my hands together loudly, ignoring Rosa's jumpy ass jerking and Tokre's warning rumble that he didn't like his mate feeling alarmed, I announced, "Well, it's been fun, kiddies, but I've got somewhere to be in a bit here and you all have things to do, children to chase, more cousin-baby-god-children to make for Auntie Jojo, so, c'mon now, let's scoot!"

Rosa's nose wrinkled, her whole face getting in on it until she looked like she smelled something funky. "You just can't help yourself."

Shaking her head at me, she snorted when I quipped, "It's a curse and a gift, I know," and looked to Tokre.

"I have one more thing I need to do before we head back home," she told him, signing as she spoke.

Tokre nodded, and with one more quick good-bye, they left.

The second they were gone I locked my door and walked back towards my bed.

A loud knock at my door sounded not a second later and I groaned. Why?! Why today?!

Walking back to the door, I leaned in to listen and waited. "Jo?" Doogie called.

"Fine. Whatever. We can do this now." Rolling my shoulders and then my neck, I shook my hands out as I did a little dance on my feet. Taking a few calming, deep breaths, I opened the door.

"What did you mean when you said I smelled funny?" I started without preamble.

Blinking down at me, it took Doogie a minute to collect himself. He wasn't ready for the Spanish Inquisition right out the door.

"Smell like Rek…" With a sweeping motion down towards his groin, his point was made.

He'd smelled Rek's baby juice on me.

"Did you tell anyone?" I bit out.

"No tell no one," he replied quickly.

"Good. That's good." My head bobbed along in a nod as I spoke.

"Jo still mad at Doogie?" he grunted out, wincing as he spoke.

"Yes," I said simply.

He nodded like he'd expected as much. "What Doogie do, Jo not be mad anymore?"

Eyeing him, I muttered, "You really wanna make this better?"

"Jes," he said simply.

"Okay." I shrugged. "Close your eyes and open your hand."

Looking skeptical, he was hesitant at first but slowly complied.

He frowned when several minutes passed and nothing happened.

"Now bend your knees," I instructed.

Doogie frowned but bent his knees until he was standing there in a half kneel.

He took one right to the kisser, eyes flying open as he toppled to his ass and slid a ways back in the mud.

Cupping his nose, he gave me an unimpressed look. "Jo not mad at Doogie now ?" he garbled out through his hand blocking his mouth as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm definitely feeling more charitable towards you," I snarked.

Doogie snorted, then grunted and winced.

"Maybe don't do that for a while yet," I advised, then promptly closed the door on him.

"Mean," Doogie muttered, making me smile.

It automatically made me think of Rek. As the thought occurred to me, I threw my door back open and stepped out.

It was gone. All of it. My junkyard of a front yard was completely empty.

"Did you do this?" I barked, waving my arm around wildly.

"Do what?" Doogie spluttered.

"Clean up the mess in my yard? All the crap! Where'd it go?!" Walking past him, I did a full circle of my place, then remembered I was wearing fluffy slippers and frowned at my bubble brained fuck up. Covered in mud and bits of snow, I might as well kiss them looking cute good-bye now. They'll never look the same!

When I rounded back to my hut's door, Doogie had vacated the premises. A wise choice, all things considered. The Joanster was in a mood.

Feeling eyes on me, my head snapped up. My gaze left my ruined slippers, falling on the male standing in the shadows a short distance away, fidgeting and rubbing at his jaw with one hand, a single, pathetic looking wilted little pink flower, my favorite, in the other.

"What?" I barked. So much for trying to play it casual.

Rek stepped closer, until only a few feet separated us. "Rosa come see Rek," he grunted out softly.

I blinked. I couldn't have possibly heard him right. Did she run the feck over there?!

"Why?" I muttered, eyeing him warily.

"She say, Rek hurt Jo, she break Rek's face."

Observing the lump on his head and the way he was rubbing his jaw, I clucked my tongue. "Did she give you that goose egg or did you walk into a wall? Again?"

His hand lifted, fingers hovering over the spot. "You Bum-bum grab Rek by neck, say Rek take care of him's female or he smash Rek head in. I make Jo unhappy, he break bones in Rek body."

"No, he didn't." My lips pursed. "You're just making that up."

"It true!" Pointing to his jaw, he grunted. "After Rosa say take care my cousin or I break Rek face, Tokre fist go into Rek's face. Rosa say he say with handsy speak, This one for him Rosie-lindy."

Struggling not to laugh, I sucked my lips into my mouth and nodded. "I see."

His expression puckered, pulling into a grimace. "Rek need face to breathe."

It wasn't so much of a struggle fighting back a laugh anymore as all humor fled me. "So, what you're saying is, you're here because you're worried about your face." Why did that not surprise me?

"No." Moving in a little closer, he grunted and shoved the flower fisted in his hand out at me.

I didn't take it.

Frowning as he glanced from me to the flower, loud grunts left him. "Rek move Jo's list things she needs. Joansie needs them, they at Rek's."

Taking a step back, sliding my hands behind my back, I nodded, "I'll be sure and let you know if I'm ever in dire need of a bike bell or pool noodles."

"What pooled noodles for?"

"I won't tell anyone if you piss me off," I told him, on the off chance that's why he was lingering, for the reassurance. "I'll just punch you in the face myself. This…" My hand waved around him, encompassing this whole production, the flower, the fake contrite shit for fear of his precious face, etc, it wasn't needed. "It's not necessary."

Rek's frown turned into a scowl. "It necessary. Rek sorry. No hate Joanie. No want fight Joanie. No want sit by self like in times out, watch Oddits and Goober drool all over Jojoknee and make the loves with her and- and do like Rek do and not say all the things Jojomine likes and makes the efforts. Make Jo happy and be happy with my Jojo."

He was struggling, his throat working, hand starting to tremble as he struggled to hold back emotions but get out everything he felt needed saying.

"Make Jojo more sad, Rek break own face."

When I didn't react, he shuffled closer, until he was practically on top of me. "Rek sorry."

"For what?" my voice cracked but I kept my expression perfectly impassive.

"Being big, ridid-cue-luss, assed hole."

"Don't forget controlling, manipulative, gaslighting, jealous-" I ticked off on my fingers.

"Rek very jealous," he growled out, baring his teeth at nothing over my shoulder.

Leaning in, he bent and carefully pressed his forehead to mine. That was the only part of him making physical contact with me.

Swallowing thickly, screaming in my head at myself not to fall for this shit again— it never ends well and I'm still licking my wounds from our last blow up —I tried to keep my composure but my choppy, uneven breaths gave me away.

The first to pull away, I still hadn't made a single move to take the flower he was holding out to me.

I kept thinking about all the things he'd done and said before. I found the idea of him suddenly having a brain transplant and being a different person as crazy as it sounded.

"Thank you for the apology," I murmured, gripping the door to close it.

"Jojo?" Rek looked like he wanted to push his way in but refrained.

Glancing up at him curiously, I waited.

"Rek want Jojomine back. Rek try. Rek keep try. Keep say sorry. Miss my Jo." Swallowing thickly, he offered, "Jo can make sex with Rek any time Jojomine wants."

"How generous of you," I muttered wryly, "but I gotta say, I prefer my men willing and awake."

Puffing his chest out, he thrust that tiny, pitiful flower at me. "Rek be good male. Jo see."

"Rek… you said and did a lot of awful things. You're going to have to forgive me for being skeptical here."

"Rek prove. Jo see," he insisted.

My eyes narrowed shrewdly as I studied him.

A panicked look entered his eyes but he was adamant. "Jo see. Want Rek be mate. Rek no say Jo do what Rek wants for babies and be Rek mate. Joansie make babies any times, all the times with Rek, whenever Jojoknee wants."

He was hyper fixated on the whole making babies thing. I had a horrible feeling my drunk self had planted that seed somehow but I was pretty fuzzy on the night before. I could vaguely recall trying to pounce on him and Rek wrapping plastic wrap around his torso, then cuddling and falling asleep. A lot of the rest was a blur.

"Rek make smaller babies than Bum-bum. Bum-bum babies big." Rek held his hands out for emphasis. "Rek babies no hurt Jo like Bum-bum's babies." Pointing at himself, he nodded. "Rek mama say Rek small baby. Sad. Pitiful. Rek not get big ‘til Rek older."

"I thought you said you didn't have a mama," I blurted as the thought popped into my mind.

Glancing around as if he was worried someone might overhear, he leaned in and whispered, "Rek mama no want Rek. Rek say Rek no want her neither."

"But you remember her," I murmured.

"Rek… not little tiny baby, come to village," he gruntingly mumbled, staring down at his feet. He was older. He could obviously recall being rejected by his own mother.

Damn me. Reaching out, I took the flower from him. With a sniff, I informed him haughtily, "It's not because of anything you've just babbled at me like a baboon." My finger smoothed over a petal. "I want this for tea."

With something akin to a soft whoop, Rek hugged me to him, planted one on me, then left me standing there, dazed and confused, calling after me as he rushed off, "Rek show Jojomine. Jojo see! Rek good male!"

"I didn't agree to anything, you mangy bag of fluff!" I shouted after him but it didn't matter. Fighting back a stupid smile, I returned back inside, locking the door behind me to prop myself up against it.

Could this be for real? Did he really mean it? Was he really turning over a new leaf? I wanted so badly to believe him.

As with any good intentions, whether he was legit or not, only time would tell.