Chapter 28

"W hat are you growling at?" I muttered.

"They no know you mine." He bared his teeth. "You mine. Tell. You tell them. Rek no want keep mouth shut. Rek want snarl and tell them you Rek's, leave my Joanie ‘lone."

"Who is it that has offended you simply for breathing?" I muttered, working on my sewing, not bothering to look up.

"Stupid Odix. Him stupid face," he grumbled.

"Careful, sourpuss, your mug might get stuck like that," I singsonged sarcastically, even as I stole a peek in the direction he was glaring to spy Odix staring at me with a hangdog look.

He'd yet to say a word to me since that night. None of them had. Gopher avoided me like the plague and Odix stalked me at a distance.

Kooky, or should I say Celuk, was also notably absent. Doogie and the rest of Celuk's kin had taken a cue from him and kept a respectable distance from me as well.

At this point, going on well over three months later, it was all starting to pinch.

The urge to make the first move was non-existent for me. They'd lost their fucking minds, tearing each other apart over me! What the hell were they thinking?! I got so mad whenever I thought about it, I still shook.

"I'm hungry. You want to go home and make lunch?" I asked Rek.

My not so very patient but he was trying, betrothed, as I referred to him and he allowed it, jerked his gaze from where he was glaring at Odix.

I knew his best behavior wasn't going to last forever, but he was doing his best, all things considered. The fact he was simply glaring and baring his teeth, nothing more, said it all.

Stowing my sewing away, I went to stand but Rek was right there. He'd been dropping not so subtle hints he really wanted to get started on those millions of babies he'd like to impregnate me with, but things all still felt so frayed.

I was still on the no-baby tea, and in fact needed to go collect some more soon.

Turning at the last possible moment, I caught Rek sticking his tongue out at Odix and Odix sticking his out awkwardly back.

"Hey, stop that," I muttered to Rek, swatting at him.

"He watch my Joanie," he grumbled. "Can't have you. You mine."

Technically that wasn't entirely true, and he knew it. I let him live in this weird limbo that was my life currently and say what he liked, because he was talking out his ass with that shit more often than not and it was his way of venting his frustration. Perhaps he was feeling this odd sense of limbo our life has become too.

Old habits died hard, and I found myself talking around things with Rosa and Mal even more so of late than ever. I'd gotten into this weird pattern of avoidance and it was hard to break. Top it off with the fact I was depressed, if I was being honest with myself, walking around in this weird fog of a middle ground. I was mated to Rek but I wasn't, Odix was not so stealthily stalking me but nothing more. Gopher and Kooky disappearing from the scene entirely stung, but I wasn't about to cave and start things back up to spend my days watching my mates maul each other for dominance, then get stitched back up again, until one of them died or something. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about this, any of it, with anyone.

What was this wildman warrior, fight club bullshit? I didn't have the time or patience for that bull crap.

"What are you going to do if they start coming around again and want to work things out?" I pointed out. I thought it, I said it. It was usually how most of our arguments started.

"Jojomine no wants them. Oddits no good. He tell Rek, you bad male. No good my Jo. Pfft. Him stink beast. Smells bad. Him bad male." Waving his hand in front of his nose, he made a face.

"He does not. I never said I didn't want him, and you know how to say his name. You literally did like two seconds ago. Don't put words in my mouth. Hush your face. Your whole entire pie hole," I shot back, even as I grabbed his arm, entwining our hands, and leaned into him. I wanted to press him about his beef with Odix, if he was just rehashing their old and tired bologna or if they'd had a recent run-in.

"No need want them. Have Rek. Rek good male. Rek not be good male for Joanie?" he muttered, jerking his arm so I'd look up at him. "Rek not good male to my Joanie?"

Patting his arm, I informed him, "I'm with you , okay, so quit freaking out about Odix staring at me." Frowning, I pointed out, "Once upon a time, I'd appointed him first mate and you were the angry stalky one."

"Jojoknee not mated to Odix. Odix not give Jojomine him's pelt. No' take Jojo him's hut, claim Jojoknee like she ‘serve." His words were punctuated by grunts. "He punk, like Jojo say Rek was."

"Are you saying you're a reformed punk?" I teased. There was no use arguing anything to do with my former beaux with him. He had his opinions and I had mine. We could agree to disagree if it saved my sanity and he kept his cool.

"Rek say him get head from butt, be good male to Jojoknee. Not stupid like Goober, mate Joanie and then no' mate Joanie. Too chicken be with Joanie. Rek not ‘tend be ‘nother male and not tell Jo, make up stories… Let Jojo think him ‘nother male, long time. Rek not crazy."

"You're not crazy?" I interjected, hoping a dose of sarcasm would distract him from the incoming rant ahead. I didn't want to touch any of that shit with a ten foot pole.

As if I hadn't spoken, he went on, "Not fat head, ugly breath, too scared tell Jo him's loves her. Scared say Jo him's mate." And on and on he went, a frisson of something close to unease mixed with alarm slithering through me.

Even after we'd made it back home and started on lunch, I couldn't shake it.

Flipping bread at the stove as Rek finished slicing up a big roast, I found myself scowling.

Thick fingers fell to my hips, pressing me against him as he snuck up on me. "What wrong my Joanie?" Warm lips brushed my shoulder as he came up behind me.

"How did you know all that, the stuff you were talking about back there?"

Rek paused from where he was nibbling playful kisses up and down my throat. "Know what?"

But there it was, in his voice.

Turning in his arms, I pressed my hands to his chest when he would have swooped in to steal a kiss or three and try to distract me.

"All those things you said before…" My eyes narrowed thoughtfully as that spot near his eye began to twitch and I'd swear he was struggling not to fidget. "How long did you know all of that stuff? Where did you hear it? Some of that stuff most certainly wasn't from me, so… where?"

Scowling down at me, he threw his hands up, looking just shy of fit to be tied as he walked over to the door and began to pace in front of it. "What it matter when Rek know? How know? Where know? Rek see Jojoknee males not good ‘nough for my Jojomine. Rek know. Rek see. Rek haves eyes." Pausing to cross his arms over his chest, he bit out, "Why it matter? Jojo no want her males no more and they not want her. ‘Side stupid Oddits, where others? Where they go? They come? Joanie Rek's now, and Rek Joanie's. No need nother males. Rek ‘nough. Rek be good male. Rek no tell Jojoknee she bad or need do Rek say no mores. Rek stop being stupid. Joanie no pout for other males. Rek good male. Joanie try, she be happy Rek."

So he'd picked up on my case of the blues and interpreted it as it being about him. I knew Rek had a lot going on behind the scenes, but I didn't know he was hyper aware to the point he was projecting my unhappiness with the others as unhappiness with him.

But that was a side, thought. The main contender?

"Knowing all this at some point before hand," I theorized, "you bide your time and kept your distance, waiting, because, knowing me and knowing the Lo denaii wildman bullshit and the unfinished bullshit with my pile of furries, it was only a matter of time before they fucked up and my bullshit tolerance exploded and I sent them packing," I muttered, eyeing him warily.

"No give Rek that look," he snapped, starting to slip back into his harsh, old ways. "Rek no say that. No say those things Jojo says."

"Don't." My voice was low but firm.

"Rek don't what? Rek don't get loud? Rek don't get mad Jojomine's bad males Jo no want no more stare at MY Joanie? They not here. Rek here." His hands slapped to his chest repeatedly.

"It's not a competition. Look! Look around you! Do you see anybody else here but us? You literally have me all to yourself! Isn't this what you wanted?" I cried out as he kept going on and on about Odix, Gopher, and Celuk's crimes against me, to hear him rant about it.

"Nobody is perfect here," I pointed out.

"Joanie not perfect neither!" he accused, missing my point about none of us being angels, myself included. "Jojo not think funny she at Celuk's with Kooky and Celuk never show? Jojo never ask? Yes? Odix and Gopher do what Jojo say, when Jojo say, like good dummy heads, like Joanie want Rek do but Rek ‘fuse! Joanie no think they wait for Jojomine make first moves, like Joanie ask Rek be ‘trothed? Rek push-push-push. Joanie no like it. See Rek get nowheres. No want push Joanie and Jojo push Rek ‘way like Rek do. Joanie so far up own butt, not see things in front of stinky-maked up-ed face!"

"Ya done, sock monkey?!" I snapped at him, glaring at him even as my hands trembled and I felt like I might puke.

He wasn't exactly wrong. It was a hard pill to swallow.

Throwing the door open, he gestured. "Jojomine leave now, like she do, things too much? Joanie leaves this time, Rek not take Joanie back. Not say Rek Joanie ‘trothed. Jojo leave, Rek go brides hunt, find ‘nother female, not want Rek be perfect mate. Want Rek be Rek."

"What? A gaslighting, lovebombing piece of shit? Go right ahead! Be my guest! Threaten me you're going to go find some fucking one else! Go right ahead, Casanova! Let me know how that works out for ya!"

"Fine!" he snarled.

"FINE!" I screamed, grabbing up all of my shit haphazardly to storm past him.

"FINE!" he roared, scooping up everything I couldn't to storm out along with me, following me all the way back to my old hut to chuck my shit inside the moment I opened the door. "Joanie haves no males no more. No come cry to Rek, Jojo all ‘lone!"

Walking in to dump my things to the floor, I slammed the door on him without a word.

Muttering about Bum-bum breaking his head and Rosa's mates bashing in his face, he took off.

About an hour later, there was a knock at my door.

Staring into the fire across the room, laying on my side facing it on my bed, I didn't bother responding. What was the point?

"Jojomine?" Rek knocked a little louder. "Rek… Jojoknee hear Rek? Rek sorry. No mean it. Rek wrong. Not ‘kay say things Rek say. Opens, please? Let Rek in? Rek no want say sorry to wood."

Curling my comforter up over my ears, forming a plushy cocoon around me, I closed my eyes and pretended there was no one here and nothing but me and the fire crackling. Slipping the ring he'd given me off of my finger, I set it on my nightstand.

It was a while before he finally gave up, leaving me be with a short snarl and one last hard slam to my door. "Fine! Be ‘lone! All ‘lone!"

Beating myself up about falling into yet another ridiculous situation, I pretended his words didn't hurt me, that he didn't have that kind of power over me.

Eyeing the door as it shook on its hinges, I realized pretty quickly I needed a better door.

That was why, after expertly avoiding everyone and anyone that actively wanted something from me I currently felt too broken to even try to give, I found myself trying to bargain all of my gems, if that's what it took, with a smith named Ybor at market who was staring at me like I was crazy for wanting to purchase, as I'd put it, a big damn, Lo denaii proof metal door.

Ybor held up his hands, refusing to take my damn money and make my freaking door already.

With a growl of frustration, I was all set to stomp off. A furry arm pressed into my side as Gopher walked up to Ybor and started rapid-fire talking to him in Lo denaii. His brow furrowed as Ybor started gesturing at me and the gems in my hand.

Slipping from his arm, I would have walked away but Gopher snagged the sleeve of my coat, calmly yanking me back into his side as he finished gabbing at Ybor.

Throwing his hands up, Ybor grumbled, "Fine! You not get in, she locks you out, no come cry to Ybor!"

"Wait." My scowl lightened in surprise. "You mean you wouldn't do business with me because-"

"Ybor hear of the Joanie. Celuk female." Ybor shook his head vigorously. "Celuk crazier than him's woman! He come for heads to roll, Ybor point the fingers at you," he snapped, jerking a finger at Gopher accusingly.

Gopher lifted his chin up higher, exposing a rather nasty looking scar on his throat, and rumbled menacingly at Ybor.

"Bah!" Lifting a hand, Ybor waved him off. "You go! Out my sight! My mate scarier than you! Ten youngling, she wrestles all the days. You puny ‘pared my Mona! Ybor come when no mates ‘llowed door ready!"

Shrugging out of Gopher's hold, I mouthed Mona, wondering if he meant the quiet, small, mousey woman named Ramona I'd met in passing. She had her own very well behaved baseball team in the making. A small chuckle left me at the idea that she was scarier than Gopher.

When Gopher once more jerked at my sleeve as I turned and called out to Ybor, "Wait! You didn't take my money!"

"No goot here!" Ybor shot back.

"Then what the hell is it good for?" I muttered, glaring down at the glittering pretties in my hand.

Gopher reached out and curled my fingers closed, ignoring the look I gave him as he just acted like everything was fucking hunky-dory and touched me with open familiarity.

"Can I help you?" I snapped.

"No," he said simply, then continued to keep pace alongside me as I speedwalked my ass away from him.

"I don't deal with hooligans," I huffed and puffed with a sniff.

"‘Trothed to Rek," he pointed out, smirking when I glared harder.

"Maybe you should be ‘trothed to him. You're both big dummies. You'd be perfect together!" I caught it then, the leather bracelet he was wearing on his left wrist, the very one I'd left in his hut for him not so very long ago.

Didn't matter. What did I care if he liked the pattern or not or if he'd needed to adjust it to fit his wrist? I didn't!

I had no idea if Odix had liked his surprise, either, if he'd been able to see out of both eyes properly as he stopped by his hut to find it looking better than he'd left it, stupid sweater pillows, bracelet for him waiting too, and all.

"Gopher has mate," he purred.

"Oh, did you and Odix make it official?" I cooed sweetly. A scandalous gasp left me as I slapped my hand to my chest. "And you didn't invite me to the ceremony? How could you?! You bitch!"

Gopher grinned at my fit of pique beneath all that sarcasm. "Jo cute when growly like angry tebbimenk."

"Yeah? Maybe you should go play with one to compare," I shot back.

Gopher laughed, then steered me left from a large crowd starting to form at some crazy knife maker guy's stall.

"Why Gopher play with teb when I have Jo?"

Oooo. He was trying to rile me on purpose. But why?

Stilling, I glanced around, looking for signs of any would-be accomplices he might be in partnership with. A certain fishy faced dude started barking at me in my head, warning sirens blaring, that this was a trap.

I saw it then, but it wasn't what I'd call a… Hell, I had no idea what to call, erm, that.

"What the hell is that?" I muttered, catching it out of the corner of my eye.

"What what?" Gopher replied, his expression perfectly neutral.

Glancing over my shoulder, I had to do a double take as I spied Odix in all of his suddenly gotta be extra glory, watching, waiting, half bent over, eyeing me from over his shoulder like he was just countin' down until I caught a peep of him, to shove his rump out, aimed at me.

"Look, I know that at one point not quite that long ago the idiot bought that I was "Poop girl" but, uh... what the hello peaches pointin' at me is- is that ?!" I blurted out in a rush to my companion.

Looking like he was smothering a laugh, totally at my damn expense, after much throat clearing and lip-twitchery, Goph finally offered, "No know, but..."

"But what?!" I all but exclaimed when the furry fool paused, as if for effect.

Laughter thick in his voice, he choked out, "Hear'd Jo say she likes the butts big and-"

Good god. Kill me now. "That is so not funny." I'm never gonna live this shit down, am I? Nope. Probably never. "I'm never drinking Lo denaii shine ever again. Never..."

"The butts... The butts... The butts..." I thought it sounded like ol' Odi pants was happily singing along to his buns jiggling. I mean, he had the finest ass but NO.

"And would you stop doing that?!!" I snapped at the ridiculous furball, who was practically backing that dump truck right up towards me as he wiggled and waved his money maker.

"There are not enough mock-late chip cookies in this world," I muttered, shaking my head and holding my hand up to block Gopher from trying to nab my sleeve and jerk me back to him yet again. "Your crazy ass is so hot and cold it's giving me whiplash."

"Jo no want finish Odix show?!" Gopher called after me.

Lifting my hand, I flipped him off, but my shoulders shook with silent laughter matching the stupid look on my face all the way back to my hut.

Alright, so Gopher thought to just jump right back in, like he wasn't sporting some nasty reminders from his big fuck up? Okay. Alright. Joanie can play that game.

After a quick change, I was gearing up to rush off again, rushed out, and right into Red.

"Oh! There you are! I was hoping I could catch you! You're always coming and going, busy bee and all that. Heh-heh." Red wasn't the type for idle chatter unless she was hanging with Daisy. Cottontail brought out that side of her.

"Did you need something?" I asked as I turned and closed my door. Grabbing my watering can, I motioned for her to follow me as I watered Gopher's garden. It sure as shit wasn't my garden. I'd have let the thing wilt and die a long time ago. It would have too if I hadn't picked up garden tending duties when Gopher had suddenly abandoned them. I'd never admit it out loud but I was doing it for him. Which was both crazy and ridiculous because Gopher had claimed to be tending the garden for me.

Staring down at my watering can, I muttered, "Oh, who fucking cares?!" and turned the watering can upside down to dump it all over the flowers and plants and I had no clue what all was in there, I barely paid it any mind really, and called it good enough.

Red blinked, her gaze darting from the can to me.

"You said you needed something, bitch whose name I can't remember?" I prompted teasingly.

A sharp bark of laughter left Red and she smiled, but she was still looking a little… not nervous but uncomfortable, I'd say.

"Right, so, uhm… I, uhm, heard…"

"Well, this should be good," I muttered, motioning for her to continue as I dumped my watering can off by my door.

"So, a little birdy told me," she restarted.

Turning to her, adjusting the bag on my arm and tote over my shoulder, I clucked my tongue. "Ginger, you're starting to sound an awful lot like Mary Ann."

"I know about your super secret support group and how you were helping mated Lo denaii be better mates." She spoke so fast it all sounded like one giant eff you of a run on sentence.

"My what now?" My poker face was on point but Red had that look in her eyes. Someone had told. The jig was up.

"One of my mates, who shall remain nameless, had his brother try and go to one of these secret meetings he'd heard about, a secret space only told in whispers, a supporting group, he said. So his brother went in search of this with the idea to pretend his problem was theirs, so he could ask you for advice. A male told him there was a witch in the woods that gave advice, but only on the third midweek of every short cycle," her hand lifted in a wave, "however you say that nonsense that's too confusing to keep up with for their calendar. You know what I mean." Taking a deep breath, she continued. "The witch, was apparently you, and you gave him, through his brother, some very helpful advice and I just wanted to- I wanted-" With something akin to a mock-Lo denaii growl she'd probably picked up from her grumpier looking males, she grabbed me up in a bear hug. "Thank you."

"Ugh," I garbled out, prompting her to release her death squeeze on me.

"Sorry." Her smile was small and sheepish. "I'm told I'm stronger than I think."

"No shit." Smirking through a grimace, I coughed a few times. The struggle to catch my breath was real for a minute there.

"I just wanted to thank you and let you know that while I know, and now you know that I know, I have no plans to tell anybody."

"I have no desire to be burned at the stake for being the village "witch"," I snarked. "Your discretion is appreciated."

"They said you haven't shown up to the last few meetings," she stated softly, a note of concern filling her voice. "Is everything okay?"

"I've been busy," I said simply, curtly, knowing if she went by my tone she'd leave it at that.

"Of course. With the Festival right around the corner and everything. I can't believe it's day after next!" She bobbed her head in a knowing nod, while I silently freaked out a little on the inside.

The Festival is when now?! Good googly moogly, I'd totally lost track of my days. Panic threatened but I hogtied that shit and stuck a sock in its mouth.

"I'll see you there, maybe, huh?" I offered conversationally, once more adjusting my tote over my shoulder. If she caught me fidgeting, she'd just hold me captive longer and try to see if she could get me to crack. She couldn't. I was a titanium walnut. Nothing was coming in or going out unless I willed it. Or so I liked to bullshit myself. Considering my track record with Rek, Maury would make my ass sit the hell down so he could tell me and his avid audience that was in fact a lie.

Looking like she was debating on whether or not to bring it up to me, she must have decided to throw caution to the wind as she murmured, leaning in like she was about to divulge a big, juicy secret, "You know, I saw you before that last hunt, at the picnic." A wide grin spread across her face. "Anything you want to share with the class?"

"Rek's a headcase?" Purposely misunderstanding her, my face scrunched up like I smelled something gross. "Doogie is like a brother to me. Please, blech- Argh. Gag. No. Don't even go there. I might puke."

Red's face pulled into a frown. "I thought… One of my fellas said- Celuk didn't take off with you?"

Was I, like, the only asshole that didn't know that's who Kooky was?!

"I jumped into the middle of Rek's crazy and Celuk plucked me right out of it and dragged me to safety." There. That wasn't a flat out lie, was it?

Disappointment flitted across the tomboyish but pretty red head's face. "So you- There's not a Mr. Joanie on the horizon?"

Running my tongue along my teeth, I sighed heavily. "I dunno, does Rektal McCrazyPants count?"

Red laughed at that. "I hope you two figure it out one day. One moment you're chummy, the next you look like you want to rip each other's faces off. I can't keep up."

"Being a batshit badass bitch- Or should I say witch?" I teased with a wink. "Is hard."

"Amen." Red chuckled, shaking her head.

"You know, I do have to go, though." My thumb hooked over my shoulder and I gestured vaguely off behind me.

"Of course! Of course. So much prep work and not enough hours in the day." She was just about to take off and I felt myself inching towards freedom when she turned at the very last possible moment. "Hey, you are going to that thing Dorothy's doing, aren't you? Out in the meadow? It's like the Lo denaii version of a Whoville feast."

My smile didn't quite reach my eyes this time. "Uhm, I'm not sure yet."

"You should come! I haven't seen much of you lately. Even Daisy's starting to complain."

I laughed along with her like nothing was amiss but I felt like my feet had just been yanked out from under me.

I couldn't expect Dorothy to invite me to her thing when I was on the outs with, like, practically her entire male household, could I?

"Stop by sometime, huh, stranger? Don't make me send Dais after you."

"Ooo. I'm scared now," I called back.

Taking the back way, I spied a figure in the forest and automatically recalled that basket of Bum-bum's shit still waiting to be dumped on his doorstep.

Zipping right back around, I had Bum-bum the dum-dum's basket in hand and pulled a drive-by dumping.

Was it a little cowardly of me? I didn't personally think so. It was very tit for tat considering his whole Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing he'd pulled on me.

It would be next to impossible for him not to understand what I'd just done, though. And if he didn't, I'm sure the big blue peen sticking out of his door with the lipsticked words LIAR could offer him a clue.

Could he read? Shit… I'd never thought of that.

No. it's fine. The peen will speak for itself. It was kinda hard to miss. Heh-heh. That's what she said. Bah dum tss.

???

M al seemed to be in a contemplative mood, smiling to herself as she looked over material.

"This one's really nice," I commented. "Neutral. It'll be easy to wash. We could do bibs from that. Who picked this one out? Boog or Khri?"

"Both," Mal mumbled absently as she tapped her writing utensil along the piece of paper she was staring down at.

"If we did layers, with this in between for a liner," I told her, holding up material to show her, "I think they'll fix the problem Rosa had with hers leaking."

She barely spared it a glance. "Sounds good."

"I could strap a bow on my head and run naked through the village during Festival, dance with that monster bird's carcass like the village witch you're lagging on being, Yaga. Maybe I'll catch me a mate or three in the process, bend them to my will, pop out an army of crotch goblins and name them all Phil," I murmured drolly.

"I call dibs on first god-aunt to Phil the first," she mumblingly replied. "Rosa can suck my ass on that one. Auntie Mal is gonna rock it." Lifting her head from the paper she was doodling on, she smirked. "Auntie Joanie is gonna have to step aside. You might have had a headstart on winning the hearts of Rosa's first few, and Daisy, Red, and Mina's brood but bitch I aim to usurp your ass."

I had to laugh at her spirit, but, "Game on, bitch-scuit! Prepare to get shown!" I crowed.

"What do you think of these?" Mal held out the paper to me.

Reading it over, I smiled. "I love it but I've gotta ask, if only for your children's sake and future sanity, have they tested out how to say these names?"

"Already on it," she replied with a triumphant look in her eyes. "We've even got alternate names ready." Her writing utensil tapped the home-made paper. "See?"

"Oh, that's cute. I like those." Handing her the paper back, I intoned imperiously, "You may live."

"Pfft. Shut up." Mal grabbed a small swatch of cloth and chucked it at me.

"Hey! Hey! No maiming the favorite auntie to be!" I caterwauled, slapping it away, making her cackle. "I need both of these hands to hold those babies!"

"Oh. Oh! Look!" Mal grabbed my hand and jerked me over.

Everything inside of me stilled to feel that first wild kick. "Feisty. Just like their favorite auntie," I singsonged as I pulled my hand away.

I was so happy for her it hurt, and a part of me was insanely jealous.

She had two very loving, sweet mates, and two baby girls on the way.

"So are you ready for the Festival?" she chirped.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I quipped.

Gathering up bits of cloth, I smoothed my hand over a soft purple bit with flowers embroidered on it. My gut tightened as I let myself imagine, if only for a moment, that someday that might be my baby I'm picking out material for.

"Pretty isn't it? That guy at market, Kehlro, I think his name is, makes the loveliest designs."

I knew Kehlro. He refused to sell to me because I didn't have a male with me. His nose had been torn up and reattached so many times it looked like he had three nostrils. His face was a Friday the Thirteenth, Krueger looking nightmare mishmash, he looked like he ate other Lo denaii for breakfast, and he eyed me warily like he was worried I might try to jump his bones if I did any dealings with him and mate him to me, like I was a threat.

"He's really sweet." Mal let that sit before she dared a peek at me through the corner of her eye.

"He gapes at me like he thinks I'm gonna chop off his sausage, fry it up, and make him watch me eat it." A short, snort of a laugh left me. "Thanks but no thanks. Next!"

"Joanie, the man meat eater." Mal's hands lifted like she could just picture it, that horror flick title flashing, proudly posted on one of those movie theater sign dealios.

Nudging her softly, I rolled my eyes.

Picking up the paper in her hand, she folded it in half and started fanning herself with it. "Ugh. Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

"It's just you and your smuggled basketball in the making leading the way," I snarked but stood and propped open the door. On my way back, I got her a mug of water and refilled the pitcher to set it on the table.

"You're a lifesaver," she mumbled as she quickly brought the cup to her lips and drank greedily.

We talked for a little bit longer but I did so with my coat on. Preggers was frying but I wasn't.

Shadows passed over the door as we spoke, laughing and teasing, having a nice little bit of chill time.

After the seventh or so shadow passing by, Mal glanced up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, following her gaze.

"What is he doing?" Mal whispered, frowning as she stared after Odix, angling his ass so if I looked over I'd get a good gander of it, and the fool started dropping it like it was hot. I mean it was, in an a-dork-able, that dude is a goofy freak kinda way.

"No idea. I heard he's deranged," I muttered, popping up to shut the door and open the windows instead.

"Isn't he the guy that tried to manhandle you at one of the feasts once? He thought you had some kind of thing with poop, I thought I heard from… god, I dunno where, now that I think about it, I hear so much crazy stuff anymore." Mal glanced to me for confirmation.

"See? Cuckoo in his fluffy puffies." Standing off to the side of the window, I peered out the side of it surreptitiously.

"Is he still out there?" she asked.

"He's waiting for me to come out," I huffed out under my breath.

"Huh?" Mal made to stand and join me but I waved her off.

"I said he looks like he's waiting for someone," I said quickly.

Mal grimaced. "Not me, I hope, because I am sooo not interested."

After a moment, she added, "Is he from the prehunt barbecue? I heard you were squished in with a couple hunters. Daisy was dying for some kind of juicy tidbit and thought I'd have the deets."

"Daisy is nosy as shit, despite her claims otherwise, and I was just sitting and eating with Dorothy's peeps. It was tight quarters."

Mal nodded. "See, I knew it was something like that. She is just dying to see you married off and she jumps at the slightest thing."

"Cottontail needs therapy," I muttered, which made Mal nearly snort the sip of water she took.

"I heard there was some kind of fight too, but I stopped her there." Mal sighed heavily, uninterested in any drama. Gotta love that about her.

"There's always fights. All that muy macho, male posturing bullshit," I muttered, leaving the window and Odix's bootyliciousness to rejoin Mal at the table.

A dreamy smile crossed my orange haired bestie's face. "Khri and Boog get along really well."

"Not gonna read into that too much," I tossed back, my comment loaded with innuendo.

Another swatch was tossed at me. "Shut up." Her face reddened but she laughed.

"Hey, so I'm gonna head off to Rosa's. She asked me to stop by the next time I was making the rounds. I want to make sure she's set with the kiddies' duds for Festival. They are pumped their mama is making them "codsumes spedshul"."

"Awww. I can't wait." Mal clapped her hands together and grinned like the crazy happy bitch she was.

"I'll smell ya later, huh, mama-soon-to-be?"

"Snoochie booches," she called back as I stood to leave and made my way to the door.

Onward. Forward. Fuck all, I kept telling myself, if only to get me through the day.

???

I was halfway home after hanging with Rosa and gushing over the job well done on the kiddos' costumes when I realized I was beanie-less. I could have sworn I'd worn one out today…

Shrugging it off because I didn't have it in me to give a single fuck right now, I jerked my hoodie over my head and pulled the strings tight.

Brrr. It was colder than normal tonight. Or maybe that was just me?

Perhaps I was a masochist for taking the route to my hut that cut past Bum-bum's, but I'd wanted to see if he'd found my not-present or not yet. I needed to know.

The basket with his horns and pelt was gone and the hole in his door now had a plank of wood over it. The lipstick-painted liar remained.

Thinking the message was received and he'd taken it with a devastatingly chill amount of grace, I knew something was funky as I came up on my place and Gopher and Odix popped up from where it looked like they'd been waiting for me.

Stopping a few feet away from them, not particularly in the mood to have it out with them right now, my eyes slowly widened as Odix began to shift from foot to foot and I got a good look at the enormous dick sticking halfway out of my door, just behind him.

"What the hell?!" I burst out, rushing up to find my door not just dicked, literally, but kicked in. When I ran inside, I came to a screeching halt near the table. My bed was made neatly, Bum-bum's blanket laid out over my comforter, his pelt neatly placed on top of it. New shelving had been put up, vases and what looked like small statues at first glance lined the walls. There was food sitting on a metal warming bowl like older households with larger families used to keep the food warm longer without having to keep it set over the fire.

Turning around, my eyes about bugged at the scratched in markings in the door. "Mine," I read aloud, not quite sure how to take that. Nothing says I fucking love you like a psycho stalker etching Mine into your door. On closer inspection, eyeing bits of red, I realized the word mine was written over and over again all over the door, like some sort of crazy mantra.

"He's insane," I breathed. And by he I had no idea if I really meant all sides of him, one, or what.

"Bum-bum Jo mate?" Odix asked, his voice hoarse and croaking like he had a frog in it.

"Joanie doesn't have a mate," I muttered, unsure where to start with Bum-bum's crazy vase lady with the knickknacks nuttiness.

Grabbing an empty basket, I stood on the bed, using my arm to brush everything off the shelves and drop them into the basket.

An odd, blue figurine caught my eye. Staring at it, I paused, then plopped down on my bed to rummage it out of the basket. Trying to figure out what the hell I was looking at, I held it up to the light.

Gopher made a noise that drew my attention, along with Odix's.

"What the hell is it?" I muttered, turning it this way and that.

When I shivered where I sat, both males stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

Gopher's head tilted as he eyed me. "Jo not know?" Humor laced his tone but I didn't get it.

I mean… "Should I?" Squinting, holding it up higher, turning it upside down, there were what looked like two forms converging to one, but…

Odix made a choked noise. It was then that I noticed the pillow he was clutching to his stomach. "On side," he pointed out, rhythmically kneading the pillow in his hands.

"On its side," I mumbled, but then it all came into focus, crystal clear. "Good god, is that a…" Realizing I was looking at a sexy statue thingy, a small, startled laugh left me. That wasn't a sexy couple, that was Bum-bum and me, in one of many compromising positions. Rummaging through the basket, all the little figurines were weird little sexy mementos from my romps with Bum-bum. In all of his alternate states of being/forms, I noted.

"Can I melt them down?" I wondered aloud. I didn't want those things sitting on my fancy new shelves for all to see like, "Hey, look what I can do!"

"No!" Odix barked, rushing over to snatch the one next to me and hold it to his chest, along with his pillow.

"That's probably the weirdest thing you've ever done yet, and that's saying something with all the weird ass dancing you've been doing," I told him.

Perking up, he rumbled out happily, "Jo see Odix's dances, then, yes?"

Mutteringly pulling the statues out, wondering if he'd object to me melting my face off of the statues at the very least, to set them on the bed, I tried not to cringe as I mumbled, "And just about everyone else within butt shaking visibility."

Odix grabbed up each and every statue as I offered them to him, holding them to his chest protectively.

"Why do you want them? Why are they so important to you?" I had to ask. Taking pity on him, I grabbed a small basket and held it out in offering. Odix took it and carefully put the figurines inside it, where he then clutched it to his person.

"Important to Jo. Important to Odix," he rumbled out softly.

"It's important to me that no one else sees those. Ever." My hand lifted and I waggled a finger at his preciouses.

After a thorough eyeballing of him, I moved on to Gopher. My eyebrows shot up questioningly but he didn't appear to have much to say. "What? Nothing to add to this circus, or are you just here for the food?"

"Go' could eat," Gopher rumbled out lightly. Smoothing a finger along the table, he glanced over at me from beneath a thick fringe of dark lashes. I'd never realized his eyelashes were so much darker than Odix's. Perhaps that was the human in him peeking or I didn't pay enough attention to that sort of thing.

"Help yourself," I said grandly, "but then you leave," I warned.

Odix's stomach let out an ungodly rumble and the guy actually looked embarrassed about it.

Gopher smirked at Odix, then walked over to the food and did up three big plates full.

"Jo busy," Odix commented idly as we ate. They sat at the table but I preferred to sit on my bed, put some distance between us. It was a statement. I had nothing to say to that.

Eyeing Gopher, I muttered, "Where do you go? When you up and disappear?"

Gopher hesitated for a second before clearing his throat and sharing, "Mama home."

"Every single time? You're just running home to your Mommy?" I blurted.

"Go' papas home with mama, too," Odix pointed out.

When I looked to the much thicker beast askance, he glanced between me and Gopher before quietly rumbling out, "Go' take Odix him's Mama, bapas, Papa. Go' mama talks funny but nice. Bapas, Papa nice, too. Odix no know what like have mama, papa, bapas. Go's nice. Loves him lots."

We lapsed into silence after that, Gopher staring down at his food uncomfortably. Was he embarrassed he had loving parents? Or the fact he disappeared to visit them so frequently, especially when shit went wrong, it was kinda hard not to notice.

He took Odix to meet his folks, but I'm not good enough?

"Go' Papa, Bapas say he not paidshent. Rush-rush-rush-" Odix said into the silence threatening to suffocate us.

Gopher hissed something at Odix that had the bigger male clamping his trap shut tight.

"Well… it's been a long day. This has been… interesting, to say the least, but I'm tired," I announced, hoping they took the hint.

When neither made a move to leave, I cleared my throat, waiting for them to once more take notice. They were suddenly studying their food so hard you'd think it was talking to them.

"Door broke. Can't leave Jo ‘lone, broke door." Gopher, the unofficial spokesman for the two of them, lifted his head to meet my gaze evenly.

"What smell funny?" Odix lifted his nose and gave a sniff.

"My boots, maybe? One of them has sprung a leak and nothing I've tried seems to work yet." Standing, I grabbed the small pouch on my nightstand and walked over to my boots to dump a loadfull into them both. "Don't change the subject," I warned Odix, wagging a glittery claw at him with a stern look.

"Odix no change subflex. It stink. Odix want make sure Jo hut ‘kay more than already broken from Jojo Bum-bum. Now smells like bad cheese and hunting powder."

"I'll allow one of you to stay," I agreed with a shrug. "Which one of you, I don't care. You can sleep on the floor near the door if you're so dead set on watching over me, but that's it, you understand? No funny business and absolutely, under no circumstance, will there be any fighting. You feel me, fluff nuggets?"

"Odix feels Jo." Odix looked like he was about to swallow his tongue at the double meaning to his response.

He wishes!

Every time I saw one of them, all I could think about was them bloodied and mangled from tearing the shit out of each other.

"Go' stay, Odix go," Gopher rumbled out.

"Go' go, Odix stay," Odix fired back. "Why Go' think him stay, make Odix go?!"

Gopher said something to Odix that had the thick beast grumbling petulantly back at him.

"Fine. ‘Kay. Odix go," he muttered morosely. Walking to the door, he glanced over his shoulder at me, trying to do so unobtrusively, but there was no subterfuge with the male, not with this shit.

Quirking an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms over my chest, I waited him out.

Door open, pillow and basket pressed to his chest possessively, he stood just outside it now, glancing over his shoulder at me to his left, to quickly turn and look to Gopher to his right.

I didn't say a damn word, even if I thought his antics were oddly endearing.

"Night-night. Bye-bye." Gopher came up and shut the door on Odix, wedging it back into place in a way I had to admit I probably couldn't possibly attempt even with help. My door was fucked, yet again. My new door and doorframe couldn't be installed soon enough.

"Don't get any ideas," I muttered, dragging Bum-bum's pelt over to his designated corner so he could use it as a makeshift sleep mat. tossing the blanket from Bum-bum over to him next, I turned, giving him my back, and quickly swapped my day hoodie for my nighttime one.

Changing my shirt beneath my sweatshirt, I gave him a hah-hah look. Someone thought they were going to get a look at the goods. Not gonna happen.

"Why not with Rek?" Gopher asked as he set up his bed and took all of our dishes to place them in my wash bin.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," I informed him primly.

"It not," he said easily. "Joanie strong, independlant wooman. She can take care self." Gopher's shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Go' want help. Support ," he stressed.

Climbing into bed, I paused, shot back up, and turned to him at that. Throwing my hands up, I whirled around and flopped onto the bed. "Alright, who the hell have you been talking to?"

Gopher turned to me with a perfectly innocent expression I was so not buying.

"Spill it or I'm inviting Odix to swap places with you," I threatened.

"Gopher can't know things? Learn things? That not Gopher business?"

"Since when did you start going by Gopher?" I harped. My god, he was throwing my own bullshit back in my face. I was weirdly proud of the gangly troublemaker.

"Whatever. I don't care." My hand lifted and I flapped it towards his assigned sleeping spot. "Go snuggle down into the floor and think about how else you're going to try and finagle your way back into my good graces."

"Draft under door," he said into the silence that followed as we both settled in for the night and I turned the lights out.

"Then why don't you go warm up with Odix? His place is all fixed up now and toasty warm. No drafts. It was one of the things I checked myself," I muttered, tugging my comforter up to my chin, my back to him.

"‘Kay," Gopher muttered. I listened as he hopped up and walked to the door.

Really? Just like that? Pfft.

No sooner did Gopher have the door open did I hear Odix quickly rumble, "Have nightmare. Come sleep here?"

Rolling over, I eyed the pair shrewdly. He had a nightmare? Can he come sleep here? "Where are you two getting this shit from?!"

Odix glanced from me to Gopher hopefully. "Odix stay?"

"Sure. Fuck it! Why the fuck not?! Anyone else want to have a sleepover?" Throwing my hands up in exasperation, I rolled back over.

"Rek outside too. Call Odix dummy face, stinky beast," Odix muttered as he walked right over to me, slid his arms underneath me, scooped me up, and then climbed right into bed with me, laying me half on top of him. Pushing my pillow over, he placed his under his head. I assumed his basket was by the bed as it was nowhere in sight.

"Night-night," he said quickly, then closed his eyes.

Spluttering, I gaped from him to Gopher.

Propped up on his elbow in his spot on the floor, amusement lit the slimmer beast's features.

"Think this is funny, do you? Look who's on the floor!" My hoity toity, hah, take that look died a short death when Odix started up a nasal symphony of epic proportions.

Gopher's smile turned downright wicked. "Odix nose gets plugged, Odix snores. Loud."

Eyeing the beast snuggling me to death, I considered the possibility of smothering him with a pillow, if only briefly. I felt like I was sleeping next to a real live grizzly bear.

Gopher, watching me, patted the spot beside him.

"I'll take my chances with the bear," I grumbled at him, settling back down beside Odix.

Gopher's soft chuckle was barely audible over the crazy sounds coming from Odix's slack maw.

"He's like a toddler or an old man, just drops off to sleep whenever, wherever," I muttered, making Gopher chuckle once more.

"Morning, we get stone Bum-bum penis out of door," Gopher murmured. It almost sounded like he was shuddering.

"It is kinda unnerving, isn't it?" I mumbled, lifting up enough to eye that thing.

"It like it watches me," Gopher whispered.

"Shut up." A snort of a laugh left me.

"Look it! It do! Fat glitter head points at Gopher! Wants get Gopher, keep all penises ‘way!" Gopher went on, as if it was some creepy entity eyeball fucking him.

"You're nuts." A cackle of a snorted chortle left me.

Gopher kept on, until I cracked up so hard it woke Odix from a dead sleep.

"What? What happens?" Odix garbled out, his voice heavy with sleep.

"It watches!" Gopher cried out in mock terror.

Odix curled himself around me protectively and rolled us with a snarl. One moment I was one way on the bed, the next I was whirled around and pinned beneath a couple hundred pounds of half-awake Lo denaii in protective mode.

"What watches?" Odix snarled.

"The penis in the door," I tried to grumble, laughter thick in my voice ruining the effect.

"No scare like that!" Odix snapped at him, jerking me back into his arms to flop us back right side up on the bed.

Again, within moments he was passed out and snoring like he owned a gold medal in nasal symphonies.

"Gopher?"

"Yes?" he purred.

"Toss that smelly old fucking boot outside before I scream," I hissed, leaning into Odix to gently pinch the bridge of his nose.

Gopher chuckled his ass off as he stood to do my bidding.

It was almost like old times. Almost.