Chapter 17

A deep rumble beneath my ear woke me up. Snuffling awake, I unpeeled my face from a wide, furry chest. The first thing I noticed was the fact my chest was bared, my face from the smells of it, covered in my cherry glitter gloss.

My head pounded like someone was beating my brain with a sledgehammer. Sitting up with a groan, I startled to find Odix and not Gopher or Rek, cuddling me.

Stumbling from the bed, I nearly tripped over Rek, who was mashed up against the side of it. Blinking down at him owlishly, I frowned as I spied glitter shimmering from Rek's chest. My god, I really didn't want to know.

Gopher grumbled in his sleep where he was pressed up against the front door, as if to block anyone from entry or exit.

He, too, was sporting a very telling, glittery chest.

I made it two steps towards the overturned chair and sideways table before I remembered my bad leg. My eyes widened as I spied bulging, ugly stitches surrounding pink, freshly healed skin.

But for the pinch of the gut strings protruding from my flesh, it was perfectly painless.

"How long was I on a bender?!" I squawked.

Odix shot up with a shout, tossing a blanket over his junk as he scanned the room with a wild-eyed stare.

Our gazes met and held. Whatever he found must have appeased him, allowing his gaze to wander from my face to my bared breasts.

"Where's my shirt? Why am I only in underpants?" And not even the good stuff! These comfy cottons bordered on granny panty territory. These so weren't the ones I'd been wearing yesterday.

Digging around in the bedding, Odix unearthed that awful granny gown and tossed it towards me.

Tossing it on to wrangle my head through the neck hole, I'd just finished doing up the last button along the top when Rek barked, "No sleeps! I wake!"

"You sleeps," Odix grumbled in annoyance, stepping right onto Rek to come fix the mess I'd made of my nightgown buttons.

"My brain is trying to kill me," I mumbled with a wince.

"Kirch call it hunged over," Rek growled from his fetal position on the floor.

"I'm never touching another drop of alcohol, ever again," I whispered despairingly.

Thick fingers captured my hands where I was rubbing my temples, replacing them to massage my scalp.

"Your hands are like magic," I blurted, which seemed to give Odix pause. A small whimper escaped me when he stopped but I understood.

I had a very foggy recollection of last night but I knew at some point I'd goaded the guys into shaking their asses in some horrible attempt at shaking our rumps, chased Odix around with grabby hands aimed at that dump truck he calls a backside as he tore up the room evading me, and Gopher and Rek laughed uproariously at the whole thing. I'd drunkenly done my makeup with the little bit I had on me, most of my makeup still back at home at Celuk's in my room. The gloss and the thick goop threatening to seal my eyelashes together I prayed was mascara was as far as I'd gotten before Odix asked what motorboating was and I'd shown him, using Gopher and Rek as models.

"Why was I topless?" I muttered offhandedly.

"Hot," Odix offered.

"Jojoknee throwed up on clothes," Rek informed me.

"Say Odix keep Jo warmest," Gopher wryly admitted from the door, looking sleepy as he smirked in my direction.

"I don't remember that," I whispered.

"We knowed," they said in unison.

My cheeks flamed and I tried to slough it off but my head was hurting and the urge to burst into tears was strong.

No. Enough of this shit.

"I know I just got up but, uh, I think I need to lie down." My announcement was met with a telling silence.

"Leg healed," Gopher rumbled out softly.

"Need stitches out," Rek agreed.

"Need eat. Water. Go Rothy's," Odix finished.

"Right." Nodding absently, then wincing at the motion, I moved like I still had an injured leg, baby stepping it over to the small kitchenette area.

Rek's hand on my back startled me. "I'm jumpy," I mumbled as I stumbled my way over to the small pitcher of water and basin.

A scrap of cloth was placed in my hand but Rek must have thought better of it, taking it back to pour some water into the wash bowl and start to wipe the crud off my face.

"How bad was it," I mumbled around his harsh scrubbing. "One to ten?"

"Elebenty," Gopher chimed in.

"Nobody asked you, Nosy Newt," I shot back.

Gopher chuckled as he joined Odix in putting the place to rights.

"Jojoknee say… lots things," Rek confided, his voice lowering in hopes of the others not overhearing.

"That doesn't sound good," I whispered back.

Daring a peek at Rek as he swiped goop off my left eye, I spied him shrugging his wide shoulders. "‘Pends," he got out between heavy grunts.

My stomach dropped as my heart started pounding a mile a minute. "Depends on what?"

Rek stared at me for a long moment, green eyes searching mine. "Rek misses Jojomine, too."

My heart pounded so hard as he stared down at me with all the things I needed, wanted, shining in his eyes, I found it hard to breathe. "Are you saying- Does that- do you mean-"

"Rek do list," Odix decided to butt in.

The dirty look I gave him quelled his urge to continue. "What list?" The hope in my chest paused, like my entire being held its breath collectively. "What's he talking about?"

When Rek hesitated to answer, Gopher explained, "Jo give Rek list of implaudsible tasks. Say, he wants be her seemkret boyed friend he get all things on list and do Jo says."

"I'm sorry… I said what now?" What the hell was in Prokar's punch?!!

"Rek say he no care but Gopher and Odix hear him talk Booger ‘bout it last night, Booger come by see Jo ‘kay." Gopher smiled at Rek smugly when Rek turned to him with a snarl.

"My head hurts too much for this shit." Taking the cloth clenched in Rek's hand from him as he turned to argue with Gopher, ever at it with each other, those two, I turned to Odix and apologized profusely for all the things I could remember, and promised on my oversized banana-yellow bag to not only never touch another drop of alcohol, but forever leave him unaccosted by me. If he so wished, I pledged to never so much as look at him, if that's what he wanted.

"No pinches," he said at length. Rubbing the side of his butt, he grumbled, "Pinches not nice." Leaving it at that, he reminded me that we should get going.

"As soon as I can find my clothes," I pointed out.

"Those clothes. Other clothes not for Jojo to wear." Odix gave an all-encompassing sweep of his hand, drawing my attention to the bits and pieces of my torn shirt, my jacket and pants soaking in a tub of water I had no idea where it came from, my boots beyond dirt encrusted and damp, tossed haphazardly about the room.

A sharp rap on the door sounded, Bum-bum popping in without preamble to stomp right into the room. He sniffed loudly as he passed Gopher and Rek, who stiffened at his arrival. Odix dipped his chin at him, eyeing him with what I took as respect. "Odix," Bum-bum greeted curtly.

Stopping directly in front of me, he knelt, bending down until he was right in my mug, his warm breath puffing over my face.

"Nice to see you too." My snark was not lost on him, his eyebrows winging upward when my lips quirked. Booping him on the snoot, I meant to march around him and nab my boots but he had other ideas.

"Leave," he grumbled dismissively to the others as he picked me up and set me on the bed, then joined me, placing my legs in his lap, hiking my nightgown up to examine my leg.

A yelp left me and I jerked my gown down. "I wasn't injured there!"

He let out a soft huff of a chuff but otherwise ignored my fussing. Glancing up to find his orders hadn't been obeyed, he let out a slow building, deep rumble that started to rattle my windows.

"You're going to yank out my stitches," I surmised from the way he was gently tugging on them, testing them out. At his grunt of a yes, I looked to the trio hesitating by the door. "I'm doing this drinks/drug free. It might get loud," I warned them. At the looks on Rek's and Gopher's faces, not wanting to leave but knowing they didn't want to watch me willingly tortured, I gave them an out, "It'll be fine. He knows what he's doing. It'll be worse with witnesses."

Making the decision for them, Odix opened the door and shoved them out, then slammed the door shut behind them.

Gopher and Rek bitched at Odix, the sounds of the ruckus they were kicking up quickly fading.

"I've had enough witnesses to my stupidity lately, thank you very much," I muttered nervously.

"Not stupid," Bum-bum muttered as he tried to turn my leg this way and that.

Rolling to my side, I glanced up at him askance. "Better?"

His gaze lifted from where he was examining my leg, something swirling in his eyes shifting, the colors changing slightly as his gaze traveled up my legs, over my ass, taking their sweet assed time before meeting my amused stare.

"The stitches," I reminded.

When he hesitated, I bit my lip. As dead silence reigned, I ventured, "You think you should chomp down on it again but you don't want to because then you'll have to shift in front of me."

"Not bite. Needs to…" His dark eyes tipped towards the ceiling as he searched for the right words.

"Spit? Slobber all over like a big, goobery beast with antibiotic saliva? Lick? Lap at?" My last two suggestions got me a soft, poorly muffled rumble of a purr that surprised me. Big Daddy liked naughty words, did he?

No. He was helping me. No dirty thoughts about my late night, Snow Patrol fantasies.

Nonfiction and Fantasy were not blending. It's the moonshine hangover whispering in my ear, nothing more.

Rolling to my stomach, offering him unhindered access to the back of my leg, I wrangled the blanket he'd given me free of the blankets and pulled it over my head. "To muffle the screams," I called out loudly from inside the darkness of my blanket hideaway.

Bracing myself, I took several deep breaths. I could do this. I was ready.

His touch was gentle, weird, stuttering guttural noises leaving him as his fingers roved over my calf.

I wasn't ready for it as he let out a muffled growl and the first stitch was sliced through and then slowly pulled free. A yelp left me and I jumped in place.

His tongue following after, going for it and lapping at the thick holes surely left behind had my body tensing for entirely unrelated to pain reasons.

Pausing, he gave a sniff, then his fingers pressed, his claw slid, and his tongue was on my flesh as the next stitch was tugged free.

Pain and pleasure mixed, my stomach flip-flopping for one reason one moment, to drop and somersault for the exact opposite the next.

A part of me tightened up in anticipation as that fat appendage he calls a tongue continued to lap at my flesh.

I was sure he could scent my arousal by now. He wasn't necessarily the type to point this out, either.

When another stitch was slipped free, then another, and his lapping licks continued for long moments after that, I'd admit to a pinch of dismay at the idea of this weirdness we were partaking in coming to an end so soon.

When his hand lifted a little higher and those teasing licks continued, moving where his hand was leaving a trail of kneaded flesh in its wake, my breaths started coming in short little pants.

I'd yet to hear him crack off his horns again. My mind swirled with images of what he might look like sporting a full set.

Higher, and higher, those teasing laps traveled, until he was lifting my backside up with a soft growl, shoving my legs beneath me so my butt was sticking up in the air, pointed right at him, and my nightgown was lifted out of his way.

A deep rumble that vibrated my lower half left him as he slid a thick claw along the hideous material covering my generous derriere. My face reddened as he leaned in, burying his face against the material covering one cheek, to playfully nip my covered flesh.

Fuck , but I liked it.

My toes curled, waiting to see what he was curious to explore next.

A thick claw slid up to the top of my backside, then clean down my crack, and straight down the middle, his knuckle pressing to the pearl he found there before slowly gliding its way back up.

A soft gasp left me and I started to squirm as the material parted and cool air kissed my skin.

The second I started to shift, a snarl rent the air.

I froze, to moan not two seconds later as thick hands gripped my hips, lifting me higher, and he buried his face in the honeyed syrup already seeping from my weeping slit.

Crying out into the blankets, I fisted the bedding as he lapped at me, teasing that hidden pearl with every heady sweep.

Just when I started to crest, he buried his tongue deep, ramming it home like he'd like to something much bigger from the sounds of it.

I came with a sharp cry, impaled on his tongue as he held me still and took his fill. He was ravenous, snarling, wild, growling right into my sex like he couldn't get enough.

I came again, harder on the heels of the first as he figured out what I liked and took full advantage. I came so many times I lost count, my voice growing hoarse from crying out.

By the time he eased up, he was still snarling ferociously, even as he tried to muffle it. My channel was still spasming when he pulled his tongue free, gripped my hips, bracketing his hips behind mine, and a very pronounced thickness began to prod my sex.

"Mine," he garbled out shortly, right as he started to breach my pussy.

He was big but I'd taken Cuddle Monster in every way, shape, and form. If anything, they were equals in size and girth.

Tilting my hips invitingly when he paused, I started to gently press back against him. Bum-bum clamped a hand over my head beneath the blanket, ordering me to hold in place, thick claws pricking my skin where another hand gripped my hip, and then he slowly began to fuck me with that baseball bat he calls a dick.

He took his time, much as he paused to thrash above me like what he really wanted to do was screw me brainless, our size differences be damned. Mumbling words in his native tongue that might as well have been gibberish, he attempted to ruin me for all others.

My sex clamped down on him, recalling my Fuck and Run doing just that.

Claws dug into my tender flesh as he gave up holding me down and two handed my hips. With an animalistic noise, he pressed harder at my body's response, then began to move faster. In no time he was pistoning into me like a jackhammer, rocking the bed ominously, my voice lost to silent screams of ecstasy as he dragged me over the edge. And even then, the beast wouldn't relent. He dragged me right over that sweet precipice over and over again, until I forgot my damn name.

He was insatiable, dragging climax after climax out of me, no end in sight. I was only one fucking human. At this rate, in a small part of the back of my mind, I wondered if it just might be possible for him to screw me to death.

Leaning over me, shoving the blanket enough aside to expose my shoulder and throat, but holding it over my face, his teeth clamped down on my shoulder, right over the invisible bite marks I knew existed there.

One last scream left me as my inner walls clamped down on him so hard we both groaned. He came then, swelling, filling me full to brimming with a rush of hot seed.

As the heat of the moment ebbed, he slumped atop me, careful to keep us joined but not drop directly on top of me.

I had no words, struggling to catch my breath.

Fucking amazing came to mind, but I wasn't sure how receptive he'd be to the compliment. I've had my fill of antsy males. Bum-bum was probably the antsiest fucker around.

But he was still here, and he was choosing to stay with me, I consoled myself. For now.

A thick hand slid around my front, up my chest, gliding over my breast for a feel, then settled between the girls to heft me back towards him, pressing my back to his front.

The position gave me a good view of the fat hunk of something I was impaled on, my pussy lips straining to contain him.

The hand on my chest slid upwards, gently cupping my throat, forcing me to tip my chin unless I wanted to fight it, while his other hand slid down my body, my stomach dipping as thick, warm fingers slid past my belly button, headed straight for the abused little nub he'd made certain to pay extra special attention to.

My hips jerked at the first tap of the tips of his fingers to the spot.

Nope. Not feeling like fighting to be free right this minute at all.

"Mine," he muttered gutturally, still riding that high, nipping at my shoulder and tapping the spot once more.

Again and again, he did this, a nip, a tap, a press of his hips as I writhed on his dick, until I came one last time, pinned in place while he consumed me.

When he released me I wilted to a puddle on the bed, content to just drift off to sleep, wrung out in every way imaginable, but he wasn't done. Not yet.

Apparently, he needed another taste.

Twin loud cracks sounded and he groaned and shuddered atop me. Whatever he was doing solo above me, it only lasted but moments.

Thick hands grabbed my shoulders. Rolled to my back, he made an absurd amount of eye contact as his large body dipped and he proceeded to eat me out. Eyes as dark as night piercing into mine, he lapped his own cum up along with my cream. That look in his eyes screamed, See who's fucking you? ME. Never forget it.

By the time he was done and my pussy was numb from his mouth vibrating against it as he purred his little heart out, I felt barely coherent, aware enough to gather he had absolutely zero intentions of staying to rest with me as he hesitantly rejoined me at the side of the bed.

Used to it at this point, sadly, I mumbled, "Fine. Fucking leave. Asshole," and rolled over, dragging his blanket over me to hide my flushed, disappointment filled expression with a jaw cracking yawn.

I'll care later, in the morning, after I've woken up.

He remained until my breathing eased and I feigned sleep. It wasn't that hard to do— I was already half asleep, no pretending needed. After a light dousing of dust of shame I wrinkled my nose at, Bum-bum couldn't get out of here fast enough.

Shoving the pinch of rejection worming its way to the surface down, deep, deep down into that well of emotions it was going to sit in and die if I had my way, I dozed off for a little while, too tired to care about much of anything, or so I kept telling myself.

My life was already fucked. What was one more fucked up quasi relationship/fuck buddy, whatever the fuck we were.

Unlabeled. I supposed that fit. The neat, tidy little boxes the Lo denaii seemed to come in, I was really into off label shit, apparently.

Ugh. Even with beast men my tastes ran obscure. Sure, maybe some of this was a them problem, but I had to acknowledge I was an oddball magnet and inadvertently… a chunk of this could be a me problem. It was definitely MY problem now. Oi vey.

It was much later that day, far past the several knocks at my door earlier that woke me enough I lifted up to tell whoever was making all that noise to fuck off, day bleeding into night, that I finally managed to fully rouse.

Did I have to get up? Sleeping a few days away sounded pretty darn good right now.

Unsure whether the trauma of my Krampus adventures were rearing their head or that well had exploded, spewing the ugliness I held back all over me like a shrapnel laden pour down of depressing shit, or maybe a little bit of column A with a sprinkle of column B but I was totally feeling it.

The main reason I finally dragged my carcass from bed was simple— my tootsies were cold and my nose felt frozen.

It was dark in the room. The fire was almost out.

Getting it going again, absently feeling around my back for any tell-tale signs of a mating mark from Bum and finding zip, I frowned as I spied two telling half circle shapes near the foot of my bed. Were those…? No way.

His horns. Collecting them, I quickly wrapped them up in shirt scraps and stuffed them inside my purse like they were some sort of illegal contraband I was loath to part with. That banana yellow monster was big enough inside they both actually fit with a bit of room to spare.

I was far from stupid when it came to men like Bum-bum. Even if I was dumb enough to keep dealing with them, god help me, and continue chasing after that wild, Yeti smex induced high.

Well, if I couldn't have him all to myself, for realsies, I could take this piece of him to keep with me. I wasn't living in some fantasy land where everything would turn out cupcakes and rainbows— Bum-bum was a hard sell and far from any kind of Prince Charming, prince anything for that matter. He thought Cuddle Monster was all wrong for me, unsafe, and seemed to have maybe even have convinced my Fuck and Run of this. Maybe Bum-bum was going off of his own person struggles with the ladies. You know, before I wrecked him for anyone else, ahem. Maybe it had to do with similar concerns I'd had— the whole fuck me to death thing.

A small, silly smile tipped my lips. Two wild encounters with horned hybrids and I was still kicking, baby.

Perhaps my reluctant lover needed time to think about it, ruminate or… whatever it was he should be doing before he really thought about it and changed his mind about hybrids and humans mating.

Hah. Okay, maybe I'm a wee bit stupid and a smidge crazy. I could accept that. I'd have to be to keep tangling with the bunch I'm down with.

My smile dipped as I glanced around, eyeing the door and then the windows. There was a special kinda crazy I was absolutely not cool with, the Krampus-snatching kind.

My hands shook and I flexed my newly healed leg. Biting at my lip, I wrapped my arms around myself. Nope. Never gonna be down with the skinny demon beast shit. Nuh-uh.

Making sure everything was closed up, I tried to distract myself by making use of the items lying around to make a meal, but it served as a poor distraction.

After all I'd gone through, I found it hard being all alone like this.

Shivering, I lifted the hem of my gown up, twisting and turning my leg this way and that. The scars were minimal and very faint. To look at my leg, you wouldn't know I'd been maimed previously.

Letting the material drop, I sat on the bed, nibbling on my lip as my gaze continually fell from the door to the windows.

A sharp knock on my door out of nowhere startled me so bad I jerked in place and screamed.

"Joanie? Honey? Are you alright?!" Dorothy called out, knocking louder, harder.

"I- Uh- I- You scared me," I called back. "I'm fine!"

"Heard your clothes met up with disaster." She let out a soft chuckle along with whichever of her mates were with her. "Thought you might like something more substantial than night clothes to put on in the meantime. It's not much but it's somethin'."

Wrapping the blanket from Bum-bum around my shoulders, I went to the door.

Dorothy got one look at me and did a bit of blinking. Lips parting, she was just shy of gaping at me. "Would- Didja- I heard a fair bit about what happened… thought I might extend the invitation for a hot bath and a nice meal," she blurted as she eyed the ratted state of my hair.

My hand went to my wild locks self-consciously as Griever grinned, standing just behind her. "Odix say Joanie drink Prokar's punch." Even Dorothy's big baddie of a mate winced sympathetically. "Not for hued-mans. Too strong."

"Oh, good heavens," Dorothy hushed him up, though she was stifling a laugh.

"Did he point out I was out of my damned mind for a while and super sorry about all the shit I may or may not have pulled?" I pressed. Puckering my lips as my face pulled into a funky moue, I added with a bit of flair, "Fabulously as I can pull off just about anything."

Griever laughed this time. "Odix no know what think. Him say Jojoknee sweet one moment, sad, mad, too much happies, cries, sings, dance." Imitating my booty dancing from the night before, he chortled to himself. "Big Odix know no what do little Jojoknee," he chortled out.

Pointing at my person, I gave him a funny look. "Last I checked, I'm not little."

"Dorothy scary more," he begged to differ.

I grinned at that and shrugged. "She's meaner on the punch, is she?"

"She mean ," Grieve confirmed.

"I- I wasn't myself! I didn't know it was so… potent!" Dorothy burst out, looking ready to have it out at the mention of it. "Prokar didn't say a word about how strong it was! He just offered me a drink! How was I supposed to know?!" To me, she babbled quickly, "I had no idea and I'd barely had more than a sip or two! One moment I was a giggling mess, the next I'm the talk of the village, the human that ran naked during a snow storm her mates had to chase back into their hut!"

A genuine belly laugh gripped me. Dorothy? Sweet, motherly Dorothy? A streaker?

"Why have I never heard this before?" I got out between laughs. Ugh. It felt so good to laugh like this. I had a hard time recalling the last time I giggled like a fool at someone else's expense. Oh, wait, there was tormenting Doogie, but half the time I was sauce loopy or hungover. It half counted.

"It was the one time," Dorothy insisted, her face reddening at her admission. Holding up her finger, she shook her head. "The originals of our village all know about it but the others, well, I prefer my sons and the younger generation to make their own judgements about me as I am now, not how silly I was one night drunk on wild moonshine."

"Oh, c'mon." My gaze darted from Griever to Dorothy. "I'm sure there's tons of other stories from when you all were younger." Waggling my eyebrows at Griever, I joked, "She was wild, wasn't she?" Tsking her, I went further then. "I'll bet there's a heap of crazy I've yet to hear about." Grinning, I prodded Griever teasingly as Dorothy spluttered denials, "Do tell."

"Griever tell… but no' want sleep outside," Griever entreated, motioning for me to follow them as I made to grab my things up.

After putting on the short, soft booties she offered, I nabbed up my purse. Taking my arm in hers, patting my arm with her free hand as we walked in an absent, comforting gesture, after swearing me to secrecy— thoroughly enjoying the pinky swearing this precipitated— she launched into the tale of the one and only time she'd ever imbibed Lo denaii shine in great detail, as well as a couple juicy tidbits from her younger days I was threatened by punishment of death if I ever told another living soul.

Oh, Doro was FUN.

Sharing a tale or three of my own misfortunes, we laughed our fool heads off.

"I like this thing we've got going," Dorothy admitted.

"Me, too," I agreed.

It hadn't occurred to me that like me and Rosa, she understood the importance of finding someone that one hundred percent just got it, all of it, without judgement. Sure, having a lot of friends with varied interests was nice, but having someone to run things off of, a legit secret keeper and sounding board, an all-encompassing friend, a one in a million, was so much fucking nicer.

"I've always wanted a sister-in-law," she murmured, unaware of the way my eyes bugged slightly at her admission.

Sister-in-law? Oh- Mystery Mate.

It was on the tip of my tongue to plead my case to her and beg if need be for the name of my mysterious mate, but I knew that while I was her one in a million friend find, even if she did know without a shadow of a doubt who my mate was, her loyalties still laid heavily with the males in her life.

"Maybe ixnay on our bosomness outside of us," I said after a moment as we walked in companionable silence.

"You haven't told her yet." Dorothy nodded, agreeing with me.

"If I had enough to go on to tell my cousin, I totally would. Announcing I have a mystery mate I'm not aware of the name of but I'll get back to her with any deets more than that when I know them… you see how her mates are with her, she's gonna think I'm nuts or maybe even making shit up! It's too out there considering the bossy, forward ways of the norm. She'll assume I'm funnin' with her. It'll be its own kinda headache." A shudder left me. "Or worse, she believes me and gets it into her head to ferret ‘em out."

"In due time. It'll all come out. Don't look too hard on it." She tossed me a wink. "He's much closer than you think." We were at Dorothy's back door at this point. She left me standing there at the steps as she went inside.

He's closer than I think.

Could it be Kooky? Could Kooky have meant when he said Celuk had a mate, that he was meaning me? Is that super wishful thinking, because as crazy as others might claim he is, from the bits I've gleaned of Celuk he sounds like he is basically my ultimate dream guy… Is it neither of them?

"My brain hurts," I muttered, nodding my thanks as Griever waited with the door held open for me.

"Be ‘kay," the male told me, giving my back a very gentle pat as I passed him.

After a nice, long, luxurious bath by Lo denaii standards, I felt squeaky in all the right places, my headache much better after that endorphins-pumpin'-wild romp and long rest. Regrouped, I was ready to tackle whatever came next.

No one said a word about the way I smelled, if I smelled different at all. A part of me had hoped that washing off the dust of shame would reveal Bum-bum's scent hidden beneath, because I must be some sort of secret masochist, but if anyone noted anything different no one said a fucking word.

Dorothy had plaited my hair into something she called a fishtail. I loved it. The dark purple dress I was wearing was warm and thick. I felt bad for constantly borrowing her things but I was going to change out of this the second I had clean clothes of my own to swap them out for.

What came next was an unexpected bout of awkward shyness as Kooky suddenly popped in for dinner, making a beeline for me, ignoring the snickers of his siblings as he did so with the enthusiasm of a clumsy puppy, stopping just before me, hands outstretched but never finishing grabbing for me, to pause and blurtingly ask if I was alright.

"Jo alright now," Doogie interjected, snickering as he brought a bowl of steamed pod peas, as I referred to the purple vegetable, to the table.

More dishes followed, a different male of the house each bringing a dish to the table adding something to the conversation before I could get a word in edgewise.

"I'm fine now. Had a rescue crew and everything looking out for me," I said finally. "Thank you for asking."

Kooky looked like he wanted to say more but was painfully aware we had an avid audience. It made me miss being at home, just the two of us. We could say and do whatever we wanted in that big McMansion on the hill, no nosy newts in sight.

His hand was warm as we turned to find a seat at the table and he pressed it into the small of my back. Holy shit, I've missed him. My sweet, totally crushable Kooky. The urge to flop down into a seat and scooch my chair as close to Kooky's as possible, to get another hit of that unmistakable, wild scent clinging to him, was hard to ignore.

"Guest," Doogie announced, walking to the door to throw it open.

Odix walked in, pausing the moment he spied me.

"I didn't invite you. Had no idea you were coming," I blurted, then made a little x over my heart to lift my hand up in a solemn promise. He was probably assuming the worst.

Odix blinked and frowned at that. Why did he look disappointed at my reassurance? I didn't want him thinking I was some kind of crazy stalker or something. I'd done enough to traumatize the guy. He'd probably have turned and run if he'd had the chance.

Doogie grinned. "Doogie invited. Jojo needs her spedshul friend, yes?"

"Shit starter. You're an idiot," I muttered as I shook my head at him and took my seat.

Kooky's eyes narrowed as he eyed his nephew. The heavy grunt he let out told me he wholeheartedly agreed with my statement. Good, because I didn't want any wild misunderstandings.

"Odix Jo spedshul friend," Doogie kept on like he had a death wish.

Odix blinked and stared after the male at his odd choice of words. "Odix help… Krampus bad. Jo hert."

"Odix, Rek, Kirch, Bum-bum, the whole crew, they saved my life, and helped save my leg." My voice rang with sincerity. I hoped he forgave me for my drunken stupidity one day, and knew just how grateful I was for all that he'd done for me. Maybe we could even be friends? I couldn't explain the feeling, having Odix in my corner. He'd really been there for me.

Kooky said something to Odix in Lo denaii that had the burly beast sitting up a little straighter, chest puffing a bit more as he grumbled back.

Doogie frowned at the byplay, like he wasn't getting the reaction he'd hoped for.

Of course, no one let me in on the beastly speak convo.

"To Odix, and Joanie returning safe and sound," Dorothy chimed in, holding up her mug of tea.

It wasn't until Kooky lifted his mug and I saw his hand tremble slightly that I realized anything was up with him.

Knowing I couldn't just outright ask him if everything was okay without drawing attention to him, I thought a change of conversation might be the thing. Lifting my mug, I saluted Odix, who was looking rather bashful over the praise.

Turning to Kooky, I leaned towards him to murmur softly, "So… did you all find what you were looking for? Did you slay that tushy thing?" Unashamedly, I drank in the sight of Kooky. He smelled like freshly fallen snow and that familiar musk, like he'd been rolling around in clean snow piles and sunshine in lieu of a bath.

"Jes, Kooky," Doogie cooed in a mock simper of my voice, using a high falsetto that had me rolling my eyes. "Kooky find what Kooky looks for?"

Nabbing one of the pod peas from the bowl, I chucked it at his stupid face. "Get all them bows out cha hair, pretty boy?" I cooed right back. "Who finally told you about the eyelash brow, hmm? Or did you eventually figure that out all on your own?"

"Doogie look stupid, fake lashes, Jojo's clipsies," Odix chimed in with a chuckle.

"Who friend you?" Doogie sniped at Odix.

Odix just snorted. "Rothy food goot," he said simply, ignoring Doogie's offended huff as he dug in.

"I heard Celuk joined you," I said to Kooky conversationally.

Griever, Lukar, and Mosoau paused for a moment as they began to pass around dishes, but regrouped quickly. Was it taboo to bring up Celuk? Surely he wasn't THAT crazy?

Was I staying at a crazy person's house? It was a little weird he was never around…

"What a tushy?" Odix asked, glancing around curiously for an answer.

"Tuksi" Doogie snickeringly corrected.

His maturity was showing. "Manchild," I muttered under my breath, looking anywhere but at him.

"Dum dum," Doogie shot back.

"Children," Dorothy tsked, aiming her fork at us warningly, even if her lips twitched.

Odix's brow puckered like we were speaking a whole other language.

"Puny human," Doogie loudly huffed, narrowly ducking the thick hand lifting towards the back of his head as one of his fathers got up to refill the water pitcher.

"Rude. Doogie be nice," Lukar grumbled at him.

I stuck my tongue out at Doogie when no one was looking.

Kooky chuckled under his breath at me and Odix flat out grinned.

Okay, when almost no one was looking.

We were deep into the meal, my plate picked clean and my hangover a soreness I could feel in my brain, I swear, when Doogie decided to tit for tat from my food tossing earlier.

I managed to slap away the first ten or so, sprinkled in between conversation in the hopes I'd be too busy to block, yet he found himself thwarted. All that table tennis in middle school was really paying off.

It was when Kooky rumbled something at him and I turned my head to agree in kind, he not only got me but he got me good, right in my fucking ear.

Slapping my hand over my ear protectively, I quietly excused myself from the table, scurried down the hall, holding in the noises I wanted to make, and made my way outside. Unfucking believable!

I wasn't about to make a mad fool of myself, jumping around in Dorothy's guest bathroom for anyone to stumble upon. That was not my idea of being discreet.

Clearing the back door, rounding the corner, the freakout commenced.

My ear! It's in my motherfluffin' god damned ear!! My nails were too thick and long to try and stuff into my ear without damaging it. I had the scratches along my outer ear to prove this wasn't gonna work.

Muffling whimpering noises, I resorted to hopping up and down with my head dipped, hoping that shit would somehow knock loose.

"Jojo… knee?" Odix stopped several feet from where I was quietly making a spectacle of myself.

"It's stuck!" I burst out, waving my hands wildly at my ear.

"No panned-dick," he assured me. All that did was make me laugh semi hysterically.

Pod pea in your ear? Don't worry! No panned-dick!

Gripping the sides of my head, he tilted my ear towards him. "Stuck," he agreed.

"Get it out!" Another wild wave of my hands. "I have a thing about my ears! I'm totally freaking out!"

"No worrieds," he grumbled, then proceeded to try and gently pry it free with an extended claw.

Making pathetic noises, holding as still as possible, wincing at the sounds of it moving around in there but no dice, my heart began fluttering worriedly as my stomach dropped.

"Stubborn," he muttered, right before going for it and putting his mouth over it to suck on the god damn thing.

A giggle left me as his tongue got in on it, wiggling around in there, but that was no use. Going back to his suck it all out technique, I slumped triumphantly as it suddenly just popped free.

My victory was short lived.

Doogie rounded the corner, pausing dead in his tracks as Odix started to choke.

"Oh my god! Oh feck no! No, you don't!" Running around behind Odix as he fell to all fours, coughing and choking, I struggled to wrap my arms around his thick middle and properly heave this ho, pun unintentional but I'll roll with it, determined to get that fucking pod pea up.

The entirety of our dinner party came rushing out, Doogie shouting out, leading the way.

"Help me!" I bellowed, looking more like I was struggle-humping the poor guy's ass than anything else.

Assessing the situation, Kooky walked over and easily plucked me up and set me aside. Grabbing up Odix, who spun around choke-gasping, pointing at his throat, Kooky gripped his middle, lifted, hefting him up with a harsh jerk as he Heimlich-ed his ass, and had the furball hacking up the stuck pod like it was nothing.

The pod projectile shot across the way, smacking Doogie square in the face. The beast yelped as it pinged off his forehead.

Gaping from the muddied spot I'd slipped and landed in, I blinked stupidly up at Kooky and Odix as they took in my mudcaked form.

Dorothy's mouth rounded but she clapped her hand over her mouth, hopefully holding in the humor lighting her eyes. "You just can't win for trying," she mumbled into her fingertips.

Slapping my hands to the ground, shaking my head, I muttered defeatedly, "I give up."

With a grunt, taking in the scene, Kooky walked over, daring anyone to say anything, and plopped right down next to me, slapping his bare ass right into the slippery mud alongside me.

Laughter stole over me as he settled right in, giving me a look like he was waiting for my next move.

Odix made a disconcerted noise I was happy to provide the answer to. "You don't have to join us." Leaning into Kooky's side, I grinned like a fool. "We're all mad here. It's more of a suggestion than a requirement."

With a shrug, Odix walked over and plopped down on the other side of me, making me laugh as it inadvertently splashed mud at Doogie, a casualty of standing far too close.

The noise Doogie let out had his fathers laughing. "Mama no like mud in the house!" he burst out, sounding like a scandalized old lady.

Waving off Doogie's fit, Dorothy came over and offered me a hand up. "Just this one time, I think we can make an exception."

The noise Doogie made said he wasn't cool with this new, go with the flow side to his mother.

"And just for that, you get to help clean the floors," she told him.

Doogie gaped at his mother as she left to grab a few things.

Nudging Kooky and Odix, I stuck my tongue out at Doogie, laughing like a lunatic when Kooky and Odix did the same.

My life was madness. No. It was too crazy for madness. This was beyond that. It was adness, completely and utterly.

And this stuff right here? I loved it.