Chapter 16

"Y ou feeds her," Berkr chastised as I lost my stomach and Gopher held my hair back. "Know no' feeds her."

Doogie tried to play it off, struggling to act casual, but he wasn't fooling anyone. "Bettters out than in, no?" he finally settled on. Fucking asshole.

"Kill me," I panted out, dry heaving. "Take the leg- My head! Add it to the other warnings! I don't care! Just kill me now!"

Through the corner of my eye, I watched him stiffen. Gopher was doing a wonderful job playing the heavy, snarling and snapping his jaws at Doogie when the male drew too close.

"Doogie stupid. Rothy hears… skin Doogie ‘live…" Berkr muttered as he left us be to yark in peace.

"I think I saw blood," I garbled out, wiping at my mouth, causing Gopher to stand up and scare Doogie off.

"Is he gone?" I whispered, daring a peek at Gopher.

Gopher nodded and dropped down next to me. "How leg?" he asked softly, grimacing as he caught a whiff of me.

"That snake spit I drank is wearing off," I muttered with a wince as I made to stand.

"Gopher find more," he grunted out.

"I'd rather not," I admitted. Reaching out, I gently grabbed his arm. "I don't want to be alone."

"Rek-" he started to say, but shut up at the look on my face. "Jo…"

"I know," I said simply, letting his arm go, hands shooting up, nodding along for the sake of shutting him up.

Squinting off towards Doogie's retreating, forlorn form, I gave my purse a pat.

Retrieving the water skin Gopher had offered, I made use of it and the powdered minty tasting leaves I kept on hand that I brushed my teeth with for a quick rinse.

"Jo?" Gopher rumbled out softly.

"I don't-" Shaking my head, I sighed heavily. "I don't want to do this, not right now." Taking a much needed deep breath, I girded myself for him to pick me up but much as I tried I couldn't hide how good it felt to be in his arms again.

"Rek stupid... but Go' think- not bad male," he grudgingly told me.

"Thanks so much for your opinion on a relationship you're not involved in," I quipped caustically, hoping my nasty ‘tude would shut him up.

"Bum-bum not good mate," he hastily added.

"Don't," I softly warned him. "He's saved my bacon more than I care to think about. Do not go badmouthing Snow Patrol to me."

"Not good for Jo mate," he stressed.

"Is this about the kissing thing?" I asked.

We were right on the edge of camp but everyone was so busy putting up a makeshift shelter for the night so the human amongst them didn't freeze to death we might as well have been invisible.

"He only did that to shut me up." With a long suffering sigh, I rolled my eyes. "That's exactly why Odix did it. Pfft. And you all say I'm touches feelies."

Something flashed in Gopher's eyes, his chest starting to rumble deeply with it, but he squashed that shit real quick, just like he had that stupid lump in my chest.

"She tired. Give." Rek motioned for Gopher to hand me over, walking right up to us to start snapping demands without preamble.

"I am?" My brows quirked.

"Yes," he said simply.

"You heard the man, Gogo boots. I'm tired. Hand me over," I snarked.

Gopher would have leaned in to press his forehead with mine but I jerked back, effectively rebuffing his attempt at affection.

Before Gopher could react, I leapt into Rek's arms. Rek smirked with satisfaction, a brief snicker leaving him, aimed at Gopher, who bared his teeth at Rek, before we parted ways.

"Don't," I whispered softly, glad when they both knocked it off.

"Missed Jo," Rek murmured softly as he carried me to a branch-crafted tent, complete with leaf canopy and grass mattress.

"I missed you, too, asshole," I whispered right back.

Noting there was no blanket to snuggle up with, he grumbled, "Rek keep Jo warm. Has help."

If my eyebrows shot up any higher they might fly right off my shocked face. "Beg pardon? You'll have help?"

"Just for keep warm," he stressed.

"Who?" My eyes narrowed but I had a lil lightbulb moment as he started rattling names off.

"How much do you want to get back in my good graces?" I leaned in to whisper in his ear as he carefully settled me down on the grass bed inside. My teeth worried his ear, causing him to cough to cover up the rumbling purr in his chest.

"What Rek need do?" he choked out softly.

Laying out my plan to him, he went from watching me shrewdly to choking back laughter.

"So you'll do it?" My lower lip jutted and I held my hands up pleadingly.

With a sigh to end all sighs, he gave me a look. I knew I had him the second his lips started to twitch.

"Yes!" I softly crowed, then pressed a short, chaste kiss to his cheek in thanks.

"What do in there?!" Kirch barked at us.

"Nothing you wouldn't do, Dad! Swear!" I shot back.

The choked, strangled noise Kirch let loose at that had Rek rolling his eyes at me, even as he bared his teeth in Kirch's direction and fought off silent laughter.

???

"G ood morning, Douglas," I crooned, bopping the male sharing his body heat with me on the nose in an overdone, cutesy, boop to his snoot, affectionate gesture.

"What's… happens?" he grunted out, glancing from where I laid huddled under my coat with Odix spooning me, my bare shoulders exposed.

A soft gasp left me. "You mean you don't know?"

"Head… fuzzy," he grunted out.

"Hmm. It must have been all that moonshine you imbibed," I tsked.

Leaning towards him, I waggled my eyebrows, exposing more bared flesh.

Doogie's eyeballs bugged as I cooed sweetly with a mock pout, "You mean you don't recall last night? Me… You… Odix… this big ol' tent room… doing anything and everything we can think of to keep warm?" With a quick glance over my shoulder at Odix, I gave Odix a naughty look.

"No… No." Douglas was looking a bit like he'd woken up from a nightmare.

Hopping up, he couldn't get away from me fast enough. The fake eyelashes he had yet to cotton on were glued to his eyebrows like huge purple fans fluttering about his face were perfection, the cherry on the revenge cake.

"No," he kept saying, like it just couldn't be true.

"Maybe you should have eaten and thrown all of that shine you guzzled down last night up, like a free stomach pumping, like I did!" I called after him.

Turning in search of my shirt to find a very bug-eyed biggun behind me, gaping at me, he started to say something but I put my finger to his lips. "Not one word to him about what really happened or I'll show up at your place butt naked, skunk drunk, shake my ass around as I sit on every fucking piece of furniture you own, singing the big butts song as I do so. Got it?"

"What big butts song?" he mumbled against my finger, eyeing me thoughtfully.

Disappearing beneath my coat to put my shirt back on, I cackled out laughingly, "Wouldn't you like to know."

???

"N ots funny," Doogie grumbled, still oblivious to his eyelash eyebrows, assuming everyone snickering at him as we headed back home were still chortling over my lil trick on him, pretending we got all wild and wooly.

"Doogie would know, hims mated," Berkr grunted out.

"How would you know? Aren't you an untried virgin still waiting for your one and only one, no other assholes allowed?" I butt in. I was being a busybody dick and I knew it.

My leg was killing me. It was better than last night but it was still excruciatingly sore and pained me to walk on it. After finding a stick that could hold my weight, I'd steadfastly refused a pick up from anyone. I was in tough bitch mode. I'd done enough whining and crying. The worst of it was over. I could do this. I could.

Rek wasn't talking to me. In part because he was jealous and glaring daggers at Doogie and Odix, even though he'd been in on the prank— the silly weirdo. I so did not find his unneeded secondhand jealous fucking cute. I didn't.

And he was also mad at me because I didn't pick him to carry me, opting to pick myself up, so to speak.

The more I thought on it, the more I wondered if that's where his odd demands emanated from— a fear of being set aside for someone else or replaced.

Like that fool could ever be replaced. Pfft.

We kept on like this, someone, just about everyone, offering to give a gal a hand, should I be willing to accept, our progress slow and meandering. I was practically dragging my bad leg, gritting my teeth as I put pressure on the opposite knee.

Sweat started to form on my brow, dripping down my neck. I felt oddly hot and uncomfortable and my leg was a roaring ache deep inside the wound, even if that numbing stuff they'd doctored me up with had killed all feeling on the outside.

"Jo?" Gopher turned to me to find me paused, stick fallen, hands on my knees, braced for impact as my cheeks filled with saliva and my stomach gave a preemptive heave ho.

"I'm sweating bullets and my leg is killing me," I admitted. "I need to rest for a minute."

Berkr made a noise that said, Fucking finally!

Had someone lost some sort of bet on just how long I'd last?

Some of the beastly rescue crew had veered away from the gathered group, hoping to catch the wounded Krampus lurking around these parts.

A shiver worked its way up my spine every time I dared to even think about it.

It was so not helping the bile rising feeling threatening to take me.

Flopping down right there on a mossy patch of damp ground, I stifled a groan as I stretched my bad leg. I had to turn to my side to accomplish the feat so my stitches weren't dirtied but the odd position was so worth it.

"If Berkr ‘llowed pick stubborn female up, no be in mess," Berkr muttered, picking his way over to me past the brush he was playing wild jungle man tromping through, absently whacking plants this way and that, making far too much noise for someone who kept hushing everyone else. He was bored, and just plain bossy, was my guess.

Peering up at him through narrowed slits for eyes, my eyebrow quirked up. "You mean I coulda ridden you piggy back style all the way home?" I asked sweetly.

"No ride Berkr's piggy's back all de wade home." Rolling his eyes at me, a quirk I was going to give Mina credit for, he let out a huffy puffy chuff. "Berkr knowed that song. Meanie's babies songs. Not fool no one, say silly things." Another chuff.

"You stupid face," Rek grumbled as he scowled at Berkr closing in on me.

Kirch laughed at Rek's response, though I had a sinking feeling he was more so enjoying witnessing Rek's jealousy piqued as I needled Berkr after his stupid remarks and Pepé took the bait.

"Mina says you were a pain in the ass when you first started dating," I tossed out casually, giving Kirch a meaningful look.

Rek paused as he started to storm over here, scowling as Gopher and Bum-bum beat him to me. "What mean? Kirch win Meanie. Kirch favorite." Puffing up his chest proudly, he growled out softly, "Kirch tell Rek. Tell Rek all about him mates with Meanie."

Berkr let out a sharp bark of laughter that had Kirch growling at him warningly. I'd never seen Berkr really smile, not like that, with pure unadulterated joy, until now.

"You shouldn't do that." My hand waved airily. "It'll frighten small children and the weak," I muttered as I swiped at my brow yet again, my fingers coming away smudged with dirt and perspiration. Apparently my attempts to remove the mud caking my face last night after rinsing my mouth were half assed at best. So much for Gopher being my face wash wingman— he'd said it looked fine!

"I look like a smeary faced, recovering mud monster, don't I?" I muttered, looking up towards Bum-bum for confirmation.

"Face wet," Bum-bum offered in answer.

A hand clapping to my forehead had me jolting, a small yelp popping out of me as I jumped in place.

"Hot," Berkr observed. The fool didn't even try to be discreet about wiping his hand off on his furry leg. Dick.

"You mean, like a fever?" I blurted, swallowing thickly. Shit. That's not good.

Honing in, slapping Berkr's hand away to press into my side, Rek gestured towards my leg, jerking his chin at the scarf shreds covering it. "Smell," he suggested, darting a look towards Berkr and Bum-bum, who were the closest.

Ignoring Rek, Bum-bum got to work untying the scarf pieces, barking orders at Gopher and Odix, who quickly scurried off to do as he ordered.

"You say you no make good lead," Berkr muttered with a snort as he got started on collecting snow to boil over the fire Kirch was building.

"Hope someone saved the skull bowl," I joked. My nerves peaked, body starting to tremble anew at the remembered torture of before.

Rek wrapped an arm around me, cuddling me close. "Be ‘kay," he grunted out softly as I soaked up his warmth.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes and focused on the rise and fall of his chest, his deep, even breaths.

The cool kiss of air on my skin as the last scarf lifted had a chill washing over me. It doubled when Bum-bum hissed and Rek sucked in a sharp breath.

My eyes popped open and my gaze unerringly went to my leg.

A garbled noise gurgled in my throat as I got a good look at that hot mess.

"Is it- Is it supposed to look like that?" I mumbled faintly.

"‘Fected," Berkr offered as he wandered over for his own look-see. Speaking to Bum-bum in Lo denaii, he gestured at my leg.

Bum-bum gave me a short glance before quickly shaking his head.

Berkr bared his teeth at him and hissed but I was lost from the get go.

"Be ‘kay," Rek repeated, his grip on me tightening as he joined their conversation, leaving me in the dark.

My heart started to pound as their vague gestures towards my leg grew and my imagination ran wild.

"How infected are we talkin' here?" I cut in above the rising din.

"Need heat?" Kirch asked as he stoked the fire.

"Do we need heat?" I repeatedly stupid. "For what?!"

"Bad leg," he grunted out.

"No! We most certainly do not!" I burst out.

Bum-bum and Berkr paused at my outburst, Rek snarling at them warningly not to continue. "She scared," Rek growled out gutturally.

"No she not," Berkr argued without a single whiff of me to judge if that were true. "Jojoknee tough. Strong. Not scared ‘fection."

I didn't need to hedge bets that I stunk of fear, it was coursing through me.

"Rek no say Jojo not. Rek say she scared. Jo be scared and tough," he growled out warningly. My sock monkey begged to differ.

Berkr scowled at Rek for a long moment. Slowly, his gaze slid between us, pausing on my head on Rek's shoulder and Rek's arm wrapped so tightly around me. "Rek stupid," he grunted out, but left it at that.

"Berkr stupid," Rek mock huffed under his breath but didn't deign to say it any louder than that.

Reaching over, I gave his leg a comforting pat. Taking the olive branch offered wrong, he slapped my hand away with a growl. Too late, he realized I wasn't mocking him, but I'd already slipped his arm off my shoulder and sat up straighter.

With a frustrated grumble, Rek stood, ignoring the questioning gaze of those around us to stomp off in the direction Odix and Gopher had taken off to. Mumbling something about helping, he disappeared into the forest.

Flopping to my side on the ground, resting my head on my arm, I let out a heavy sigh. Closing my eyes, I asked the hard questions. "How bad is it?"

"Bad," Berkr grumbled.

"How bad is bad?" I dared to ask.

"Krampus claws… icky," he settled on. "Cuts deep. Make bad."

"What do we need to do?" My throat grew tight but I needed to know.

"Eh! Eh!" Doogie, who'd chosen escape with the others over babysitting the injured human, came rushing up on us, waggling a small, ragged looking waterskin. Bum-bum and Gopher were hot on his heels with their fists full of purple looking roots and orange speckled yellow leafed plants, roots of the plants and all.

Whoops. Hope Rek didn't trek too far in their original direction— they'd returned from the opposite.

"Oh, goody. More awful stuff to choke down," I deadpanned.

"Shine for wound," Doogie corrected.

Awesome. We're going to torture me with paint thinner. Yippee.

Doogie would have handed it over to Bum-bum but my fingers clasped it and gave it a yank towards me first.

"Not doing this shit sober," I muttered as I popped the top and took a long swig.

A spluttering noise left Doogie.

Pausing to hiss as it burned down my throat, I quickly took another long swig. I'm so not cut out for this shit— for any of it.

Doogie made a startled noise and reached for the waterskin. "Too much," he garbled out fretfully.

Doogie was frettin'?

Letting him pry that swill from my cold, numb fingers, I grimaced as his shine burned down my throat, down into my belly, and possibly farther down into my guts then. "What's the big deal? I did the same as last- Whoa…."

"Stronger," Doogie elaborated with a measuring look as I took a little trip.

"My god, I can't feel ANYTHING," I mumbled, lifting a hand to tap at my face. My eyes widened and I laughed, then smacked myself across the cheek.

Aghast, Doogie snatched my hand up, holding it prisoner as he tossed the waterskin to Berkr and Bum-bum, who immediately got to work stripping the insides from the roots Gopher and Odix had collected and putting Gopher and Odix to work mashing up the speckled leaves.

"What are they doing?" I asked in a loud whisper.

"Making paste to put on after cleaning wound," Doogie replied.

"Can we eat it?" I mumbled, which made Doogie chuckle, but I was riding that high too hard to care why.

I felt so good it wasn't even funny, like I could fly.

"Not for hoomans," Berkr grumbled in disgust.

"Neither are you from the state of your affairs," I quipped with a sniff, which seemed to amuse the peanut gallery.

A chuffing huff left the perpetually pouty Lo denaii. "Berkr mate only one. Berkr."

"Gosh. What a lucky gal," I gushed as I lifted my hands free of Doogie's loose hold to clasp them near my face and bat my lashes at him. Spying Doogie snickering as he watched us, I reached out and plucked one of his eyebrow lashes free to settle it atop his naturally ridiculously long eyelashes. "There. Bat it now. Get the full effect."

Doogie's face went from snickering laughter to Oh my fucking god what have you done to me, woman, in two seconds flat.

Batting his lashes, not for the full effect, as I'd teased, but to test out the heavy weight of the lash extension dangling precariously from its perch, he plucked it free with a startled noise. With an ew, icky face, he waved his hand, fingers flicking, desperate to rid himself of the false eyelash, treating it like a gross spider.

Holding my sides, I cracked up, careful to hold myself in place as Bum-bum and Berkr worked on my leg.

"Ready?" Berkr grunted out, back to business, butt hurt over my teasing taunts aside.

That was the one thing I could say I liked about the guy— he was there whether he liked someone or not.

"You're a good guy, Berkr," I blurted as I met his gaze, grimacing all the while, but nodded. "Thanks, you know, for all your help."

"Bad Jo not all bad," he conceded, smiling tightly as he waited for Bum-bum to grip my leg in a strangle hold.

"This is going to fucking hurt, insta-drunk off my ass or not, isn't it?" I wasn't sure who I was talking to but everyone present more or less grunted or grumbled, "Yes."

As if to distract me or play the devil's advocate, I wasn't sure which, Doogie confided right before the first splash of shine hit, "Jo not drunked on Prokar's shine yet."

"Who the fuck is Prokar?" I panted out, already hyperventilating and they hadn't even started yet.

Doogie might have answered, I wasn't sure. As my leg was squeezed and the first drop of shine hit, a hiss that grew and grew as more and more shine was poured over the wound and Bum-bum manipulated my leg, I was too busy trying to breathe and not scream my head off to focus on much else.

"Root for fevers almost done," someone announced when they paused long enough for me to catch my breath.

My hand found its way into Doogie's, who was grimacing along with me as he allowed me to use his palm like a stress squishy.

"I think I might pass out," I blurted as I stupidly glanced over at my leg and spied gooey black shit oozing out along with a fair amount of blood.

"Need drink fever tea. Eat," Doogie gritted out as I relinquished my hold on his hand and he stretched out his fingers.

"Am I going to die?" The question was met with a long, pregnant pause that had me fighting the bile filling my throat. "Tell… tell Rosa I love her, okay? And the little ones?" Swallowing thickly, I blurted, "Booger can have my charger, phone, and tablet. Rek, my purse and furry boots— don't ask . Gopher, my books. Whatever's left of my shit, everything else goes to Rosa. Oh, and my sewing kit and key and ring from my old car, my wallet, Kooky can have those. He loves that useless crap, fascinated by it, I have no idea why."

"Prolly smells like Jo," Doogie grunted out. With a sniff, he muttered, "Doogie no know why… you stink."

"Jojo no' die," Rek grumbled out fiercely, pushing his way in with Gopher, edging Doogie out of their way, to settle near my head.

The fear in Rek's eyes and the worry in Gopher's wasn't helping things any.

"You kooky. Jo won't die." A loud snort cut in on this dark moment. "Will wish Jo did, after Prokar drink wears off," Kirch grunted out.

"Gets worse before more worse," Doogie grumbled, as if from personal experience.

"Oh joy. More fun," I muttered drolly.

Berkr grunted something out at Bum-bum so low Rek cocked his head, frowning, straining to overhear.

Kirch grunted out something, catching the tail end. "Come. We go," he told Rek, who got up reluctantly to follow.

"Hey, take my baby brother with you! I'm sick of looking at his one lashed face and he says I smell!" I called out, trying to lighten the mood. Lifting Doogie's hand by his wrist, I waved it at them.

Wrestling his arm back, Doogie, looking exasperated and equally amused by my antics, was about to argue when Bum-bum grunted out, "Gopher, Odix, Berkr stay, rest go."

"Go where?" Doogie blustered, flustered by the short dismissal.

"Wood. Bind leg," Kirch said simply.

Standing to follow after them, I chuckled as I listened to Doogie bitch, "Why ALL need to go get wood? Why ALL?"

"Rek stay," Rek started to offer, but Kirch nixed that with, "Rek trust dummies get good wood for Jojoknee's leg?"

The noise Rek made said fuck no.

"Where's Booger? I missed when he left," I mumbled, which drew worried frowns from the quad crowding around me.

Picking me up to curl me into him, pinning me just like the other night as Gopher and Bum-bum all took their respective places, talking amongst themselves about their plan of action, Odix distracted me as he lifted the cup in his hand to my lips and instructed, "Drink."

One sip and I wanted to vomit. "You know, I heard you shouldn't mix drinks." I tried to argue with him but he held firm and in the end I caved. It was either drink it or wear it, from the stubborn look he plastered onto his grumpy mug.

"You're awfully snuggly," I pointed out.

When he began to hum and purr and I felt hands bracing my legs, I took a deep breath. "This is going to hurt," I whispered.

"Yes." He didn't bother lying.

"Stay with me? Promise you won't leave me?" I mumbled, fear starting to override every other tumultuous emotion writhing through me.

"Swaur with pinkies," Gopher called out over his shoulder.

"Pinkies square?" Odix repeated questioningly, right before a series of guttural grunts issued and I saw the tips of Bum-bum's horns sprout.

I had no idea if I had Odix's agreement to my fear driven proposal. Bum-bum's shifted fangs sank into my leg, burying deep, and a strange grumbling, gurgling sound filled the air. I got out a single, guttural scream before pain enveloped me and I blacked out.

Afterward, I woke up briefly sometime later, whimpering and lolling about in Rek's arms.

The growl in his chest was oddly comforting. I noted beasts close by but keeping their distance.

The next time I could lucidly recall, I woke feeling hyper and weirdly happy. After forcing Rek to carry me piggyback style for a while, I played with his fur, singing some silly, made up song about the bow clips still in Doogie's hair, while the male in question desperately tried in vain to get each and every hair pin and cute little plastic bow I kept on hand in my purse just in case out of his head fur.

After Doogie demanded a new song, I switched to awkwardly warbling out Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now.

When Kirch started barking out requests and I happily complied, we were so close to the village I could see chimney smoke.

Odix thought it would be a good time to ask me what the big butts song was.

After finishing my own spin on Dorothy's Gun In My Hand, which even had Mr. Grumblypants Rek and a thoroughly entertained Kirch humming along, I launched into that Sir Mix-a-Lot great.

When we stopped to meet up with the others at their predesignated meet up spot, Rek put me down but hovered close. "I can pee on my own… I think," I muttered as I stared down at my mangled boot, cut down the side to accommodate my hot mess of a leg, a moment too long.

"I go," Gopher offered, but this was not a dinner and a movie kind of deal.

"I go," I muttered, attempted to take a single step, and stumbled backwards into Rek. "We go," I laughingly corrected, not entirely certain why I was laughing but unconcerned with stopping.

"Sloshed," Rek grumbled down at me, scooping me back up to trek deeper into the woods.

"You're skloshed- Smoshed?" Feeling my mouth, trying to figure out why it wasn't working, then forgetting why I cared, I looked up at the beast frowning down at me, pretty green eyes glowing in the waning light. "You're so pretty," I told him.

Gopher made a funny noise behind me but I saw nothing funny about just how fucking pretty I thought Rek was. When I proceeded to tell them both just how pretty I thought Rek was, I quickly found a warm hand clamping down over my loose lips. "No talk Rek penis," Rek leaned in to whisper, but all I could think about was how sexy he was leaning in and rumbling down at me.

"Merawr." My mock purr was met with shocked laughter. Gopher was having himself a grand old time.

Trying to wriggle free of Rek's hand over my mouth, I gave up and licked across his palm. Rek let out an eep that allowed me freedom. Turning to Gopher, I smiled. "Rek is pretty, but you're adorable."

It was Rek's turn to laugh as Gopher scowled. "Go pee," he grumbled.

The big, dopey smile on my face, accompanying my mood, fell.

Shuffling to a spot close by, I did my business but found myself struggling to stand, then fighting with my pants to close them.

Odix came to investigate the loud sniffles I was letting loose as Gopher and Rek taunted each other about my compliments, quickly devolving from teasing to slap fighting, then wrestling.

Sniffling, I stared up at Odix, trying to button my pants back up, nearly hysterical. "They won't work!" I cried out.

Kneeling down in front of me, taking the ends in his huge hands, he carefully figured out the Velcro pieces and closed them.

"I can't do anything right," I softly wailed, though I was struggling to figure out how I'd gone from happy to hangdog sad in one little pee trip.

Gopher and Rek knocked their shit off long enough to spy Odix's wide back as he scooped me up, muttering about dummies, and carted me back to camp.

Doogie and Berkr and some males I had no idea as to their names, cringed as they spied the tear tracks, pink cheeks, and tell-tale sniffles.

"Hurds?" Bum-bum asked, stilling from where he'd been burying something beside him, standing to kick dirt over the spot as he approached.

His horns, I deduced, seeing as he'd shifted, bit me and spit on my wound, whatever craziness his other form offered, before snapping his horns off to shift back. I'd blacked out very shortly after but I'd seen enough.

Why was he burying them?

My gaze went from his horns to him. "Trap. Krampus smell. Stay ‘way or follow," Bum answered.

"Trap or keep away," Berkr offered.

"Would you get grumpy if I said you were pretty?" I thought it, I said it. I wasn't feeling the whole spectrum of my loose tongue or crazy mood changes now but I'd be overwhelmed with embarrassment later as I recalled it all.

Bum-bum blinked down at me stupidly for a solid minute before Odix said something to him that had him snapping out of it.

My gaze darted from Odix to Bum-bum curiously.

"What, Jo no think Berkr handsome? Doogie?" Berkr mock purred. The shit starting grin flashing fangs was a dead giveaway.

"Ew, Pepé." My face scrunched up in disgust. "Don't be gross," I muttered, shuddering as I burrowed deeper into Odix.

Bum-bum snorted at that. Kirch cracked up, slapping Berkr and then Rek on the back as he passed them.

"Doogie no want be cute or handsome to Jo." Doogie shuddered along with me.

"My running theory is that Douglas already has a lady love, possibly unrequited, he's either too chicken to tell her or he knows he doesn't stand a chance. And yet he still holds out," I told Odix in what I thought was a whisper.

From the stunned looks on everyone gathered's faces, I'd say not only was I way too fucking loud, but now they were all speculating on my theory.

"What more Jo thinks?" Berkr wondered aloud.

"About who?" I peered over Odix's thick arm to ask.

Berkr opened his mouth to speak but Bum-bum and several others snarled for him to shut it, and Odix boomed out, "What more butts songs?"

He wanted more butt songs?

With a mental shrug, I launched into Fat Bottomed Girls, because everyone knows they make the world go ‘round, and then All About That Bass, Bootylicious, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, and finished strong with Thong Song, because why the hell not?

I was fully feeling the effects of Prokar's Lo denaii shine, shaking my shit in Odix's arms as he toted my useless carcass into the village.

"Give," Rek grunted out, but I was still salty at him for getting mad at me for admitting he was cute. He was fucking cute!

"Odd-lick's taking me home," I informed him primly, wrapping my arms around Odix proprietarily. "He promised," I mumbled into his fur as I turned my head for confirmation to find my face stuck in his neck. This proved hard for me to get out of. My movements were loose, slow, sloppy, and my brain didn't want to work in accord with the rest of me.

"Odix," Odix corrected.

"That's what I said," I mumbled into the heat emanating from his neck. "It's like a furnace in here!" I breathed.

My running commentary amused Gopher, who was unbothered by my choice of sober drunk buddy.

Rek started to growl but Gopher said something to him that had Rek chuffing, puffing, muttering, "Fine," and storming off.

"Be good," Gopher called out to us, which for some reason had Odix shifting awkwardly.

Spitting out hair as I struggled to turn my head to the side, I realized if I unhooked my arms I could accomplish the feat. "What's wrong, big cuddly bear?" I prompted with a frowny face, to a nervous noise from my companion.

It started with a lower lip wobble, as I imagined all the ways he was going to try and dump me off on someone else.

"You pinky swore," I started to blubber, to rushed reassurances from him.

Adjusting me in his arms, he didn't walk elsewhere with me, he ran.

"Don't take me to Rosa's. I don't want her to see me like this," I got out between horrible, suck down the snot sniffles.

Pausing, he turned and headed off in another direction. "Not Rek's. He didn't like that he's cute. He's stupid."

"Why give Rek list if Jo no want him?" Odix mumbled.

"Not Gopher's. He'll just kick me out. He doesn't trust himself to be alone with me." My hold on his neck tightened.

I loved watching his throat work as he gulped audibly.

Garbling out Bum-bum's name, he grunted, "Go find Krampus."

My hold on him clenched. "Don't even think of taking me to Doogie or Berkr, I'll scream."

"Where go?" he blurted, clearly flustered.

Realizing he couldn't wait to get rid of me, I mumbled defeatedly as I rested my head against him and closed my eyes. "Nobody wants me. Just take me to Bia's."

"No," he rumbled out softly, as if to belie that.

"It's fine," I mumbled, nuzzling closer to that thickness he calls a neck. He was SO warm. Warm as hell and a badass.

Realizing I'd spoken my thoughts out loud, I frowned. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Which parts? Warm hells or how Odix have bad ass?" he countered.

"Badass," I corrected.

"That what Odix say. Ass bad."

"No." A soft laugh left me. "Not that you have a bad ass but that you were a badass, you know, charging in there like a gorilla bear on steroids, all claws and fangs and touch her and die, asshole . It was… impressive. I'm impressed, and appreciative."

"And cold," Odix grumbled as my nose pressed to the side of his throat.

"Sorry," I murmured, pulling back, folding my hands in my lap, where I clenched them, determined to keep my hands to myself.

"No beed sorry," Odix grumbled.

This had the odd effect of making me feel even more sorry.

"Is feeling like an insanely overly emotional crazy person a normal side effect? How long until the worst of it's over?" My hands clapped to my cheeks, feeling icier now that I wasn't touching him.

"Lo denaii no drink that much Prokar's spedshul punch," he grunted out. "Odix no like way makes head feel. Swimmy, funny, hertz later. Hertz lots."

The horror filling me must have shown on my face because Odix took pity on me. "Watch Jojo. No let do stupid things."

"You mean like I have been for a large chunk of the trip?" I squeaked.

"Jo ‘herent now. Not bad… yet."

"Take me to my place and lock me up inside that shit tight, please," I whispered with growing trepidation.

Reaching my place, I found it impossible to ignore just how funny the word moist was and suddenly couldn't shut up about it. As if determined to ride out this shit show, we found Gopher and Rek, bickering as usual, waiting just outside the door.

"My boys!" I crowed, then cackled like a madwoman.

Everything after that was very much a blur. A very wild, loud, kooky, mishmash of things I was bound to regret.