53. Chapter 51 Zorvan
Chapter fifty-three
Chapter 51: Zorvan
O nce we're all settled in our proper seats in the strategy room, I sigh and sit back in my chair.
"So that went—"
"Better than expected?" Arden interrupts, as if she doesn't want to hear the rest of my sentence.
"In some ways, but I'm expecting her to pull something."
"We revealed too much of our hand," Jarrah says.
"I don't think so," Lysander interjects. "She seemed shaken up a bit."
"That wasn't shaken up. That was pissed," Camus argues.
"Angry people are more likely to make mistakes," Tavin says.
"We'll see about that," Arden says. "But for right now, we at least know the cards she's trying to play. She's trying to make Zorvan look crazy, and me look terrible so that no one in Solardin will ever believe what's going on."
"It probably doesn't help that you bit off Gormon's arm," Livarius says.
There's a small pause, then everyone laughs.
"That silver arm looked ridiculous," Emyth says, adding fuel to the fire.
The laughter dies down, and Camus squeezes Arden's hand causing that old familiar ache to swell up inside of me.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly.
"Not really," she admits. Then she turns to Nev. "Dira is pregnant. Gormon is the father; at least I assume so. I thought she might stick around after we talked in the throne room, but she looked upset to see you. They also wiped her memories. She doesn't remember being raped and tortured in the dungeons. She doesn't remember any of it. She thinks that she and Gormon have been living a sweet little mated life."
Nevidian grits his teeth so hard, I fear they may break. "Those rotten fucking bastards. After everything I did for her, she takes my daughter from me?"
"Cyndair is a master at manipulation," Arden says. "She never tried to hide her intentions with me because she assumed that she could get me to submit, or would wipe my memories if I didn't. I don't think an honest, non-manipulative word has graced her lips in a millennia or more."
"She doesn't even care about my father," Camus says. "She only wants to save Iona because that will make her look good to the people of Solardin."
"That, and Iona likely has some of Arden's blood stashed somewhere, and has ties to the only other person who wants Arden gone," I say. When I'm met with a couple of confused looks from Nev and Livarius, I clarify, "Cyndair is probably trying to get access to Todd. Having a hunter under her thumb would make unwanted fae disposal a lot easier."
"That fucking guy," Nev grumbles.
"That fucking guy," Arden agrees, her eyes flashing purple for one second, her dragon feeding on her rage. "So what's the plan for tonight? Has anything changed since our discussion with her?"
I shake my head. "I don't think so. We'll welcome her and her group. Then once that's done, I'll pull you up front and introduce you as my new lead advisor."
"I can't tell if this will shake her confidence or piss her off," Livarius says with a groan while rubbing his temples.
"We need to come up with a plan for if she launches a war against us," Jarrah says.
"One step at a time. She's not going to attack tonight. As soon as tonight is done, we'll discuss it."
"I would feel so much better if Esrend were here," Arden says.
"I know. But we'll make due with what we have," I say. "One last order of business. I didn't think about it until today, but I think we should all sleep in the same room tonight. We'll be better protected that way."
"Your room is big, but not that big," Arden says with a giggle.
"You just want to cuddle with me," Camus says before biting his bottom lip like a teenaged fae girl.
"You caught me," I deadpan. "No, we won't be sleeping in my room."
"Zorvan..." Jarrah says. He knows exactly what I'm about to say.
"It's fine, Jarrah. This supersedes all of that."
"What?" Arden says, brow furrowed.
"He wants us to stay in his parents' room."
"You mean, your room wasn't their room?" Arden asks.
That's a valid assumption to make. It's huge, and she's never seen the part of the castle where I spent the majority of my childhood.
"No. They lived on the fifth floor. I've never taken you there. Actually, until you were taken I hadn't even been up there since shortly after they died. My sisters and I moved down to the floor we're staying on now, and their room had been closed off, gathering dust. But I had a team come in and clean it."
"After I was taken? Why?"
Because I was considering climbing up to the tower above it and leaping to my death before I realized that my dragon wouldn't allow that to happen.
"Because I missed them."
"Oh," Arden says softly with an indiscernible look on her face. Then she gives me a soft smile. "Well, if you're comfortable with us all being up there, then that's fine with me. It'll be like a little after party."
We spend the rest of the morning discussing the ins and outs of the evening, and giving Arden a heads up on everything she should know. No one will be expecting her to be perfect since she spent most of her life in the human realm. Despite our efforts to soothe her fears about it, she insists that we practice so she can do her best.
After lunch we reconvene in the ballroom to go over things a couple more times before we need to get ready. The main ballroom—the one we'll be in tonight—is set up more theatrically than the smaller, more intimate one.
When we enter, Arden stares in awe then spins to look at me. "You have two ballrooms?"
"Three," I say.
"There is so much of this castle I haven't seen," she muses.
That pang of guilt rushes through me. She should know this old building like the back of her hand. It should be just as much hers as it is mine. She should have had a proper mating ceremony, and been allowed to decorate this ballroom the way she wanted.
I should be introducing her tonight as my queen.
The ache in my chest only intensifies as Lysander grabs her hand and twirls her around the ballroom, making her laugh as he does. She doesn't know anything about our dances, and she's clumsy as she follows his lead. But she's having fun .
There's a vague echo of what that felt like—what fun felt like. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed anything as much as she's enjoying herself right now. The pang of guilt, and the ache of longing give way to envy.
I'm jealous of her and how resilient she is. Her whole world was burnt to cinders, and she rose from the flames like a phoenix, stronger, and all the more stunning.
"You okay?" Jarrah asks as he steps up beside me.
"I haven't been in a very long time."
"I know," he says, his voice soft. "But you can be."
I scoff. He has no idea, but as soon as this mess with Cyndair is done, I'm handing him my crown. He's told me he doesn't want it, and if that's the case, fine. He can give it to someone else. I don't belong here. I don't deserve this kingdom.
"Just let her in," he urges me.
"I'm trying."
"You're clearly not trying hard enough. Because she fucking loves you. So stop sulking and pull your head out of your ass and let her in."
Arden's gaze catches mine as she spins—now with Emyth—and abruptly stops, her full lips turned into a frown. Emyth trips over her feet, and falls, bringing her down with him, and the two erupt into a puddle of giggles. Whatever thought she'd had about me is gone as he kisses that mouth that I'm so desperate to feel on mine.
"Not so public, guys," Tavin says, approaching them.
Arden groans. "You're right. Help me up."
He grabs her hand and she pulls him down on top of her, devolving into laughter once more.
"I can't believe you fell for that," Livarius says, plopping down on the floor beside them.
They're all so casual with each other. They all fit . With a sigh, I step up to them. "Let's focus guys. We can have a real party in a couple weeks when the politics are dealt with."
"Promise?" Arden asks with big pleading eyes.
I would give you the fucking moon if that's what you asked for.
"I promise."
"Fine," she says, rolling her eyes, and moving to get up.
When I offer her my hand, she stares up at me like it's some sort of trick. But I just want an excuse to touch her again. She takes it, and I pull her to her feet. She stares up at me, making my heart race in my chest. Her sweet scent is overwhelming, and I fight the urge to kiss her again.
"So I'll start the night over here," I say, stepping away from her, and up onto the small stage at the front of the room. "Upon their arrival, I will announce the queen, Gormon and Dira, and Solina's parents."
"Do Solina and Llewellyn have to come?" Arden says with a wince.
"I would prefer that they do, yes." When she doesn't protest, I continue, "Once they're at their seats, I'll ask that they remain standing as I have a special announcement, and I'll call you up on stage. Camus and Livarius, I want you with her. I want for this to come across as a unification of our two kingdoms, because in a perfect world, that's exactly what this would be."
"In a perfect world, I would be able to claim all of my mates for everyone to see," Arden grumbles, her bratty side flaring up.
"But that's not the world we live in, Princess," I say.
She narrows her eyes at me. "No, but it's bullshit. Instead of enjoying the evening with all of you, I have to watch as they're off talking with other people, and having other fae flirt with them. As far as anyone else is concerned, they're on the market. I'm not looking forward to it. And my dragon is already getting touchy."
"Well, tell her to keep it in check or we'll put you back on the suppressants," I snip back.
"Like you have room to talk. Your dragon comes out to play the second something inconveniences you."
"If that were the case, I would have squashed you two minutes ago."
Arden's face softens, and a smirk threatens to take over for a second before she clears her throat. "So what's after that?"
"I will raise a toast to you as my new advisor and to our kingdoms being united by your mating, and then we spend the evening eating and dancing and chatting with the fae in attendance."
After about forty-five minutes of going through the evening's planned events, I suck in a deep breath and say, "Well, we all need time to get ready, so let's go deal with that and meet back here just after the ball begins. Arden, would you be willing to come with me for a few minutes before you return to your quarters?"
She eyes me suspiciously before nodding her head. The others disperse, but I hang back for a moment. I've been desperately seeking ways to get her alone, and I want to make the most of it.