51. Chapter 49 Zorvan

Chapter fifty-one

Chapter 49: Zorvan

I t's well past midnight as I lurk in the hallway outside of Arden's room. The council ceremony was a few nights ago, and I've been making myself scarce ever since. But I heard her tell Camus that she wanted the bed to herself tonight, so naturally I'm standing outside like a creep. Any time that she's alone in her room, I can't help but check on her.

She's laying in her bed, with her dinner partially eaten, sitting on the tray next to her. She's snoring softly, and it's the cutest sound I've ever heard. I creep over to the bed and pick up the tray and set it on the floor.

My mind wanders to the times I sneaked in here when she first arrived in Sangaris. The first time was to change her bandages, but then I made it a habit. I never stayed long. It was the only time I could be near her without us picking at each other.

After she was taken I came in here every day and laid in her bed. The scents of the others told me they did the same thing. I had instructed the housekeeper to stay out after she was taken. I didn't want to lose the last pieces I had of her.

I pick up the blanket at the foot of the bed and pull it up over her. The second it touches her skin she bolts upright and screams in terror, swinging her arms wildly. I jump in the bed and grab her hands and place them on my chest, careful not to make her feel trapped.

Her wild eyes find mine. "Zorvan? What are you doing here?"

"I was just checking on you," I whisper. "I just wanted to make sure you were still here and that you were okay."

Her brow furrows. "Why do you care?"

"Do you really have to ask me that?"

She nods.

It's high time I tell her how I feel. My subtle hints, and acting like this changed fae isn't working. She's just not getting it.

I swallow thickly, and brace myself for the rejection. "Because I love you."

Her eyes widen, then narrow, brows knitting together. "No you don't."

"I do, and I think you know in your heart that it's true."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have severed the bond," She says definitively. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have sent me away."

"I know that it doesn't make any sense, but I sent you away because I loved you. I knew I couldn't be what you needed if you stayed. I knew that I wouldn't be good for you. I knew that as much as I loved you, I couldn't stop hating you for who your father is.

"I am not a good man, Arden. I never have been. And I know that I'm no good for you." I place my hand on her knee, desperate to feel her skin on mine. "You are a light in this realm, and you deserve happiness. I think you've found that with the others."

"You don't get to just decide what will make me happy, Zorvan. You don't get to decide what's best for me. You chose to sever the bond even though you knew that wasn't what I wanted. You've made a lot of decisions for me that you insist were in my best interest, but each one has put me in more danger than the last."

"You won't need to worry about that anymore. I'm butting out unless you're in immediate danger."

"But I don't want that. Stop making decisions without me!"

"What do you want, then? What do you want from me ?"

She chews her lip, then shrugs. "A friend?"

"I can be friendly with you, but I'm not a very good friend. I actually kind of suck at it. Just ask any of the guys," I say with a laugh.

"I think you just haven't let yourself try in a very long time. And I think you need a friend even more than I do."

She's right. I have no one to lean on. I've built so many walls, and forbidden myself from letting anyone in.

"Friends, then," I say.

"Do you want to stay?" she asks.

"I thought you wanted the bed to yourself tonight?"

"I wanted a night off from my mates feeling me up."

"But since we're just friends…" I offer, filling in the blanks.

I tug off my shirt and pants, leaving me in my underwear. Arden watches me with appreciation in her gaze. Staying with her is a terrible idea, but I'm going to do it anyway. Maybe as her friend, I can win her back. But I don't think that as her friend I should want that for her.

I prop up on my elbow and look down at her as she rests her head on her pillow. "It's been long enough that I think we can give you the antidote to the suppressant. Tomorrow morning we can give it to you, and hopefully by the day after we can begin training up your magic?

"I would really like that," she says. "Now let's get some rest."

***

Over the next few days, the group of us are inseparable. Esrend, Airen, or Solina join us on occasion, but otherwise it's the eight of us together. We talk a lot of strategy, we play card games and stroll the grounds. The guys and I spar, and we start showing Arden how to use her magic.

We're standing in the middle of the training field and working on her earth magic. It's the least lethal if she accidentally allows it to get out of control. She holds her hand out in front of her and beckons for the ground to move. When it doesn't, she growls in frustration and stomps her foot like a child.

Her frustration causes her magic to flare and a small fissure forms in the ground where her foot meets the earth, and she throws her hands up in the air in defeat.

"I'm never going to get this," she groans and plops down on the ground. "Why am I so bad at this?"

"Stop being so hard on yourself. Most fae begin learning to wield their magic by the time they're five years old. It's not your fault that you're struggling," Livarius says.

"But you all make it look so easy!" she whines.

I walk over and hold my hand out for her. She looks up at me and takes it, allowing me to pull her to her feet.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop trying so hard."

"Hey!" she says, but I cut her off.

"You need to relax, and breathe. Come here."

I pull her away from the others, and she says, "What are you doing?"

"You asked me to be your friend, so I'm being your friend. Your mates over there are taking it too easy on you, and coddling you. You need to pull it together, and figure this out. Got it?"

She nods.

"Good girl."

I don't miss the slight hitch in her breath at my praise. And Stars do I want to call her my good girl while I'm buried inside of her. Get it together . I stand behind her and place my hands on her shoulders, rubbing them gently, trying to get her to relax.

"Just breathe. Relax. Imagine the earth doing what you want it to. Imagine each piece of dirt and blade of grass shifting just so until they've bent to your will. I know you can do it, Princess. I know how powerful you are. You just need to stop over thinking it."

She takes a deep breath and concentrates, holding her hand out in front of her. When I feel her getting too tense, I press my thumbs into her shoulders; just hard enough to remind her to relax. Then after about two minutes, the ground in front of her shifts, and a small mound of dirt pushes together forming a tiny hill. It's small, but it's a start.

She stops and bounces on her toes clapping with excitement. Then she turns around and kisses me, catching me completely off guard. I tense, then melt into her, allowing myself to be caught up in the moment. I wrap my arms around her and hold her to me. But then just as quickly as it started, she stops, and pulls away.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, touching her fingers to her lips.

"I'm not," I say with a smirk.

"Bring that celebration over here, love," Camus says, pulling her to him. "Good job," he says and kisses her.

She pulls away and looks at me again. She opens her mouth to say something but shakes her head. "Thank you."

"I'll help you any time that you need, Princess. But we should go get some lunch."

She nods and heads off toward the castle with the others. Jarrah hangs back and walks with me.

"That was unexpected."

"She was just excited," I say.

"You should just tell her how you feel."

"I did. She wants to be friends."

Jarrah barks a laugh. "I need more friends who kiss me like that."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Not for you," he says, shoving my shoulder making me stumble away from him a bit, and I laugh.

Jarrah's smile fades. "Do you think Cyndair will play nice?"

"I think she'll have to, or her entire life could crumble around her. I sent a letter to Ardeth yesterday, requesting his presence at the castle. I set the date for the day after Iona's trial. I don't want his presence to influence anything, but I want him here in case things get out of hand."

"Smart. But as Keeper of the War Court, I wish you'd talked to me about it first."

"I wrote him more as his great granddaughter's ex-mate, and less as the Prince of Feldorn. I didn't explain everything, but told him I would when he arrived. I just said that we had information about Millie and that Arden was here."

"Hopefully he's not too mad," Jarrah says.

"I think it'll be okay," I say. "Let's just hope that we can get Arden in better shape with her magic before Cyndair gets here, and that everything with the trial goes smoothly.