41. Chapter 39 Arden

Chapter forty-one

Chapter 39: Arden

" Y ou need to stop," Tavin hisses at me. "I don't know what you've been through. I know it was hell, but that's all I know. But what you're doing to him isn't fair! Why are you punishing him so severely?"

"You're right, Tavin. You don't know what I've been through. And if you knew, and you had experienced it while I, your mate, was off fucking someone else, how would that make you feel?"

"He was scared and alone. His sister and mother are still out there somewhere. He's lost everything, and he thought he had lost you, too. He sought comfort in someone else. Something that you did when you first got to Feldorn, and then did again with Camus. So dismount your high horse, your royal highness. You're not any better than the rest of us."

Tavin turns on his heel and heads in the direction of the library—I'm sure to console Livarius. I stare after him, with my jaw on the floor. When I arrived in Feldorn, Tavin treated me with cool indifference; only interacting with me to tease me, or flirt with me. When I left, he had opened up. We had begun building the relationship that both of us deserved. It's possible that I just ruined any progress we made.

Camus snorts in amusement, and my head snaps in his direction.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, I've never seen you at a loss for words. And the big pussycat is right, you know?"

"You're taking his side?" I ask in shock.

"I'm not taking sides, so much as I'm trying to gently tell you that you need to let bygones be," he tilts his head and gives me a look that tells me he wants me to challenge him.

I don't. I cross my arms over my chest and wait for him to explain.

He sighs and takes my hands in his. "As much as I enjoy picking on my little brother, you're making him suffer. And that's not who you are. Stop fighting your love for him. Stop holding on to your bitterness. Livarius is not the enemy. And if we have any hope of defeating our actual enemy, you need to get over your bruised ego."

I let out a frustrated growl and head for the gardens once more. "My ego is not bruised Camus. My feelings are hurt. There's a difference."

He grabs me by the wrist and spins me to face him. "You are too strong and too smart to allow a little thing like emotion get in the way of your goals."

"I am human. Well...fae. And my emotions make me who I am. And you like who I am." I sigh. "But you have a point. They weren't being completely unreasonable. But can I stay mad a little longer?"

"You can stay mad as long as you want. I'll back you up. But it may put us behind in our plans to take over the world. Now let's go see these gardens."

He laces his fingers with mine and allows me to lead him outside. The sun is warm but the air is cool. It's slowly getting colder in Sangaris. When I first arrived I thought it was reaching a season much like fall, but time moves differently here. So does the weather. It may be approaching fall, but at a snail's pace.

It's quiet in the garden, save for the sounds of the birds, and our shoes hitting the cobblestone path. In the distance there are wolves howling, and I wonder if they're shifters or wildlife.

"I love it here," I say with a contented sigh. "The flowers are beautiful, and it was one of the places I felt most at home when I first arrived. The library is the only place I love more."

He looks down at me with unadulterated adoration. "Are there any places we could hide for a good fuck? Since you love it so much..."

"My grandfather works the grounds!" I whisper-shout.

"Yes, well, he can't be here all the time."

"Maybe I could send Emyth to distract him," I say with a snort. "The first time I found out about Lysander and Emyth's relationship it was right over there," I say and point at the dark corner of the castle where I found them fooling around. My cheeks flush and my stomach does a somersault.

"At some point, I'll let you watch them while I eat you out."

"You'll let me? We're in my domain, now. I don't need your permission to do anything."

He forcefully grabs me by the chin and makes me face him. "Don't get confused about your place, love. I still own every part of you."

He kisses me, and I melt. He suddenly goes stiff, and pulls away. His eyes are glued to something behind me. I turn slowly to see what he's looking at.

"Rupert!" I yell, and Rupert's gaze snaps to mine.

He smiles broadly, and then his eyes settle on Camus. The smile disappears immediately. He stays glued to his spot instead of moving toward me, and I frown.

"What's wrong?" I ask, glancing back at Camus.

" That's your grandfather?" Camus asks, stepping in front of me, and getting in a defensive position.

"Yes. Why are you being weird?"

"You'll find out soon enough." He mutters, and advances toward Rupert, but in a way that presents as much more calm than the way he's acting.

Rupert takes a few steps toward us. He looks pale. "Not here," he says in a hushed voice. "In my cabin. Please ."

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I plead.

"Lead the way," Camus says, ignoring me entirely.

We walk down over the hill and into Rupert's cabin. Nevidian is sitting at the kitchen table reading a book. When he looks up, he's startled to find not just Rupert, but me and Camus as well.

"Nev," Camus says curtly.

"Lord Camus," Nev responds, giving the same amount of respect. Nev gives me a look, and is about to say something but Rupert cuts him off.

"You need to leave. I need to have a conversation with my granddaughter and her new mate alone, please. You know, grandfather stuff."

"Don't tell me you're going to read him the riot act about being with me."

"Of course not. I would never," he says with a half smile.

"Come and find me later," Nev says, trying to place a hand on my forearm, but I move out of his reach. "Please?"

"We'll see," I say through clenched teeth. I didn't realize how much seeing him would put me on edge.

He nods and steps out into the sunshine. Rupert grabs three glasses and a bottle of fae wine and fills them each nearly to the brim.

"Have a seat," he says and gestures toward the table.

Camus pulls out a chair for me, then sits to my right. Rupert takes up the seat to my left. They stare at each other for several seconds, and I start to panic.

"It's okay," Camus whispers, and squeezes my knee under the table. He looks to Rupert. "Do you want to tell her or are you waiting for me to out you?"

Rupert takes a large swig of his wine, and sighs. "I knew that someone would figure it out eventually. I just didn't expect it to be you."

His figure begins to morph just like Dira's did that day in the clearing. My heart beats rapidly as the ginger-haired man transforms into a gorgeous older man with silvery grey hair and a beard that matches. His dark eyebrows contrast with the light shine of the rest of his hair.

When he speaks his voice is deeper, and more elegant. His shining blue eyes find mine. "It's unfortunate that you had to find out this way."

"I'm so tired of secrets," I whisper, rubbing my temples.

"I know, and I'm sorry. You have to understand that everything I've done, every lie I've told you has been for your own safety."

"How did you know that he wasn't who he said he was?" I ask Camus, ignoring Rupert—or whoever—entirely.

Camus just continues staring at Rupert who clears his throat and wrings his hands.

"I imagine it's because he recognized my magical signature."

"From a mile away," Camus grumbles. "What were you going to do when Grandmother showed up in a couple of weeks?"

"It was scheduled. I was going to make myself scarce."

"How did Falmir and Iona never notice?"

"They never tasted my blood. They're also not as powerful as you. You got that all from your grandmother."

"And not at all from you?" Camus asks with a raised brow.

"Wait...wait what?" I ask, my stomach turning.

"You don't recognize him?" Camus asks and sits back in his seat. He sips on his wine and raises an eyebrow at me as a corner of his mouth curls up in a sarcastic smile.

I slowly return my gaze to Rupert, and rack my brain. He looks familiar but I can't put my finger on why.

"Come on, love, you can puzzle it out."

The painting in the great hall in Solardin. Esrend. I gasp and stand so quickly that my chair topples over. "No! No. What the fuck? No! How...but Camus and I..."

"You're not related. I know that's a sticking point for you."

" What ?!" Camus and I ask simultaneously.

"Your grandmother never puts all of her eggs in a single basket. Falmir is a bastard. Conceived during a well planned, well timed one night stand between her and my best friend. She thought that she could drive a wedge between us, but I had stopped caring about her affairs long before that one."

"I'm not full-blooded royalty?" Camus asks.

Esrend puts the red-headed facade back up. "I'm afraid not, son."

Camus' face shows about fifteen different emotions before settling on indifference. He shrugs. "That simplifies things."

"How?" I ask, flailing my arms out to the side indignantly.

"Because technically I'm not even third in line for the throne. My bastard status puts me at the end of the line."

"You're actually still in the same position for the throne. Cyndair and I only have one legitimate child together." Esrend stands, sets my chair right, and gestures for me to sit down. "Please. I know this is hard. This is the second time you've found out one of my secrets from someone else, and I want you to know that is the last of them. The last big one anyway. There are a lot of little secrets I've had to tell over the years to work around the big ones."

I breathe a heavy sigh and plop down in the chair. "Why can't any part of this be easy?" I ask. "I just wanted you to meet my new mate. I wanted to bring him to the gardens, and have him see all the beautiful work that you do, and for you two to meet and have just one person understand, and be okay with Camus being here."

"Sweet girl, I'm thrilled he's here. And I do understand," Esrend says, grasping my hand in his. "I understand better than anyone. And while Camus has quite the reputation, you seem to have finally tamed him. You bring peace and love to every person you meet. The fact that Camus isn't the exception to the rule speaks volumes about you."

Hurt flashes in Camus' eyes, but he blinks it away before Esrend sees. "Why didn't you tell me that I wasn't your grandchild? Better yet, why didn't you tell Father?"

"Because telling anyone of your true lineage would have put your lives in danger and your positions in jeopardy. I can't speak to the person that Falmir has become, but I did care for him as my own. And I loved you and your brother just as I did your cousins. All you children were precious to me.

"Cyndair has used her children as weapons for as long as I can remember. Even as recently as forty years ago, she conceived a child for the sake of political gain. She's a wicked woman who sees no value in anyone but herself."

"She does realize that she can't rule forever, right?" I ask sarcastically. "Like she'll die someday . What's the point in all of this if she's just going to pass it on to a bastard child who isn't even a full-blooded royal?"

"On the contrary. She's convinced that she has a way to slow aging and stop death. I think she's full of shit." Esrend laughs.

"Well, having you on our side will help us take her out, at least."

Esrend and Camus share a look then glance at me. by their facial expressions you would never know they weren't related, but I guess that has more to do with Camus being raised around him.

"You're not going to help," I deduce.

"It's not that I don't want to..."

"The mate bond won't let him. They may not be fated, but even chosen mates are unable to physically harm each other just as fate bound mates are. He might be able to attack her, but if push came to shove, his bond would force him to protect her from death."

"If you're still fated, does she know you're alive? The entire realm thinks that you died in a competition for your throne. Why hasn't she come after you?"

"She almost certainly knows I'm alive. She just can't find me. I've perfected cloaking spells over the years. I also made sure that I took every single drop of my blood with me when I left. She would recognize my signature if she got within view distance of me, but she cannot track me. I actually taught your grandmother the same cloaking spell when she left."

"And there's no way for you to sever the bond with her?"

"There is. But it would take a very powerful ancestral mage to help me cut it entirely without having her here to agree to it. There's one in Kildara that could possibly help, but I would have to show my hand in order to get their help, and I haven't been in a position to do that."

"Until now. I mean, Ardeth would probably help, right?" I say with uncertainty in my voice.

The fae are so different from the humans I grew up with. Every assumption I make seems to be wrong, somehow. The looks on their faces tell me I'm wrong.

"Look. I don't know Ardeth, and I don't think he even knows that I'm alive or that I'm here. But I think that I might be able to convince him to help. We just have to get to Kildara. Then there's still the issue of getting my dad back. And my mom."

I tip my head back and stare at the ceiling. I thought that being back here would make things easier, but there are so many threads and loose ends that I need to weave back into place if I want to have any possibility of having a 'normal' life here in Sangaris.

I blow out a long breath, and tip my head back down. "I guess it's time to play nice with my mates." My shoulders sag in defeat. "Let's go gather the troops."

"I can't tell them who I am, yet," Esrend says.

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because the less people who know the better. The more people who know, the more people who might let it slip, and Cyndair has spies everywhere."

"Surely not within the castle," I say with a laugh.

"The guys didn't fill you in?"

"She hasn't given them the chance," Camus muses.

"Because the left me to rot in that fucking dungeon."

"That's a little dramatic, love. You were just fine once I got Grandmother to let you out for our little play dates."

I shoot him a dirty look.

"She locked you up?" Esrend asks, a dark look falling over his face.

"She did more than that," I grumble.

"What do you mean? What else did she do to you girls? And did you sister not come with you?"

I recount the story, starting right after Cyndair took us from Nevidian. Esrend's face turns every possible shade of red until a vein is pulsing in his forehead. I skip the part where Camus assaulted me and forced the mate bond on me out of fear that Esrend will kill him on the spot. Camus wouldn't shy away from what he did, though. He's been completely unapologetic about it since it happened.

"Stars only know what she did to Dira after I escaped. I imagine she's got it even worse now."

"This is why I didn't want any of you to come here!" Esrend shouts, slamming his fist on the table.

"I know. But it's done. And we didn't belong in the human realm. The hunters would have killed us eventually. I suspect that's what happened to Granna. Otherwise she should still be alive. We belong here. And hiding things and keeping secrets is how all of this happened in the first place. The only way to win is if none of us keep secrets anymore.

"You, me, The Keepers, Zorvan—everything needs to be on the table, out in the open. I know you want to keep your identity a secret, but I don't think that's wise. And Zorvan will be pissed that you were here under his nose the whole time. It's best that we get past that whole ordeal so we can make a plan to fix things."

Esrend cups my cheek and smiles at me and his eyes sparkle as a single tear rolls down his face. "You were born to be a queen, Arden. You have so much sense and a heart of gold. Your grandmother would have been so so proud of you." He blows out a long breath, and says, "Give me a day or two to think about it? I would like to weigh the pros and cons before we make a decision."

"I can give you a day. Cyndair comes in a couple weeks, and we either need to let them in on it as soon as possible, or make you scarce before then."

He nods. "You need to go fix things with those boys. I know you're hurting, but so are they. And the sooner you solidify your bonds, the better off you'll be. Because like you said, Cyndair comes soon. You'll need to be as strong as possible if you're going to handle her."

"Give me a day or two to think about it," I say with a smirk. "I need time to weigh the pros and cons."

We stand from the table and he walks us to the door. Before he opens it, he wraps me in his arms and holds me there.

"I love you. I don't think I said it before you left last time, and I won't make that mistake again. You're going to do great things." He kisses me on the temple and releases me before pulling the door open. "If you see Nev, tell him it's safe to come back."

"I'll have Camus do it," I grumble and step outside. I turn to face him and say, "I love you too." Then I head to the castle.