28. Kyle

28

KYLE

S ix weeks later.

It was raining. It had been raining for weeks now. I stood and looked out over the skyline of the city that had been my home for six years. The city that I thought I had left behind once I returned to Chicago. Fireworks illuminated the sky in the distance in a festive explosion of color and celebration of welcoming in a new year.

I wasn't feeling particularly festive. I could have been at a party drinking champagne. Instead, I was alone in a cold apartment, aware that other people were having fun while I was alone due to my own stupid decisions.

If I were in Chicago, I could've been wearing warm pajamas. And they would be matching the pajamas that Clarissa and Leo also had on. Because she would do something like that. Understanding that Clarissa needed her private space, I would have invited them over to spend the new year with me, or I would have gotten that little lake house again where we could have celebrated like a cozy little family.

I could have spent Christmas with them. I could've made a snowman with Leo. I could have gotten Clarissa something really nice because she deserved nice things. Only, I wasn't there, and I was fairly certain she no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.

This was a shitty way to end the year. Only a couple of hours earlier had I truly realized how much I'd messed up.

In the time since I left Chicago, Alayna had chewed me out more than once for having abandoned the Chicago office while it was in its infancy. But tonight, she let me have it for having left Clarissa.

"I can't believe you did this to her twice, Kyle." Alayna had never been furious with me in all the time she had worked for me. She had only ever gotten truly angry with me a few times. She had even put up with relocating to Hong Kong for several years before putting her foot down and demanding to return to Chicago. Even then, it hadn't occurred to me that she would quit being my assistant.

"I don't know what she has told you—" I started to defend myself.

"Shut up and listen to me, "Alayna demanded. "You've broken something in her. She hasn't said anything, but it is clear she is struggling. Did you even bother to send her a congratulations when she completed her coursework and was allowed to graduate early?"

"I thought you would take care of that," I admitted.

"Of course, I took care of that from the office, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if you personally have reached out to her at all?"

"I haven't," I admitted.

"I hope you find comfort in your steel beams and glass walls because if this is how you treat someone who clearly cares about you, you don't deserve any better." She hung up on me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I yelled into empty space.

My phone immediately pinged with a text from Alayna. I expected her to say that there was interference on the phone or some technical reason the call ended. The text said, See your email .

I opened my laptop and launched the email program. There was one from Alayna waiting for me. It was titled Chicago Office Updates . I opened the email, wondering why Alayna was still at work before my brain caught up with the fact that it was still just before lunchtime in Chicago and people would still be working even though it was the last day of the year.

I began reading.

Here is a quick update regarding the Chicago office situation. The stairs are in, and the remodel should be completed in the next few weeks. Phillip and Steve are a phenomenal team and work well with James and with clients. Nick has given notice and is transferring to a firm in New York. Also, I quit .

I immediately tried to call her back.

"I take it you read my email?" she asked immediately upon answering the phone.

"Alayna, you can't quit," I begged.

"You can't pay me enough to continue to work for someone with the basic lack of empathy you have exhibited toward Clarissa."

"You're quitting because of the intern?" I practically snarled.

"No, I'm quitting because of the way you have treated somebody who clearly loves you. You can't be bothered to break up with her in person. You just left her."

"She needs to get over that mistake. It was years ago," I said.

"I'm not talking about whatever happened between the two of you before, Kyle. I'm talking about what happened less than two months ago. I see her almost every day, and she knows that I talk to you. I'm stuck knowing that you won't talk to her. I can't do this anymore."

"You can't do what?"

"Support someone who is so callous. We had a good run, but it is time for me to move on."

"What am I supposed to do without you?" I asked.

"I suggest you try to get your shit together and your priorities in order. I am leaving all of the client contact information and pertinent files in the competent hands of Jenna. She'll be in touch at the start of the year to find out whom she should transfer information to while you are in Hong Kong. I doubt she'll be as flexible as I have been." She spoke so evenly, so clearly, like she always did.

"Alayna, you can't."

"I can, Kyle, and I have. Today's my last day in the office, and it's my last day working for you."

"But, Alayna." She couldn't abandon me like this.

"Say goodbye, Kyle."

I let out a heavy breath and realized that one simple mistake had ramifications in a much broader scope than I could've ever guessed. "Goodbye, Alayna," I said, realizing I had screwed myself on so many levels.

"Goodbye, Kyle."

I stared at the phone in my hand and started to think of how I could fix this. Alayna was a decisive woman, and I knew that her quitting was not something she would lightly change her mind on. However, I wasn't the absolute asshole she thought I was being. Or was I?

I needed to go back to Chicago. I needed to face my fears and confess to Clarissa that having a son was something I had never expected, and even after I met him and knew in my heart that he was mine, I had to stay firm on my convictions and see proof before I could admit it Clarissa.

Clarissa had been right. I only needed to look at Leo and see that he had my eyes. Would I be able to convince Clarissa that I was truly sorry? That I had been wrong?

As the fireworks continued lighting up the night sky, I returned to my laptop and struggled with the purchase of an international flight from Hong Kong to Chicago. I missed Alayna already. I was so used to calling her and having her make all of my travel arrangements. I barely knew what I was looking at as I selected a flight.

I immediately called Sullivan.

"Happy New Year!" he shouted into the phone.

I could hear cheering and general noises coming from his end of the call. "I'm going to need you to take over the Greenway project," I started.

"What are you saying? I can hardly hear you," he continued to shout into his phone.

"I need you to—" I started again.

"Whoa, whoa. Why does this sound like work?" he asked.

"I am trying to tell you something," I said.

"Unless you're calling to tell me happy New Year, whatever you have to say can wait until we're back in the office."

"It can't wait," I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I'm not coming back to the office. I'm getting on a plane for the States. You'll have to take over for the project." I was yelling into the phone at this point.

"So I'm back in charge of the project I was in charge of before you showed up?" he asked.

"Something like that," I said.

"Fine, whatever. Email me the details. I'm too drunk and in too good of a mood to want to figure out what you're trying to tell me. I'll see you in the office next week."

It wasn't until then that I noticed he was slurring his words slightly. Five minutes after midnight on the first day of the year was probably not the best time to be making rash business decisions, but I had already purchased my plane ticket.

"No, you won't. You'll get an email. I will talk to you later." I ended the call.

I had approximately four days to pack everything up and get myself to the airport. It wasn't until that point that I realized I wasn't even certain about whom to contact regarding the short-term lease on this apartment. I doubted that I could get out of whatever agreement I was financially committed to. I would just have to accept that as my idiot tax because mistakes I made in my relationships were now costing me money. They already cost me my personal assistant, and they most likely cost me my son and the woman I was in love with.

"Damn it." I threw the phone. I was in love with Clarissa, and I had fucked everything up. I needed to get back to her.

I didn't even know if there was somebody living in my place in Chicago. Alayna said she was giving everything to Jenna. I didn't have a phone number for Jenna. I guess all of the details would have to be worked out and finalized once I got back.