29. Clarissa

29

CLARISSA

T he drizzle of rain was cold, and the sky was overcast and gray. Everyone around me complained of the cold, but to me, it was practically balmy, especially without the cutting wind coming in off Lake Michigan.

Seattle had been an unexpected gift, and even after a week here, I was loving it. I didn't have a job yet, but I was hopeful, and I was getting interviews for junior architect positions.

I had been wallowing in misery in Chicago, coming to grips with the fact that I could no longer put my life on hold waiting for Kyle. He would come back to Chicago eventually, but that didn't mean I needed to be there waiting for him.

A few weeks after James made his announcement that Kyle had left for Hong Kong, I decided I could no longer continue to work for Kyle Love's firm, even if it was James doing the work.

I made the decision to also leave Chicago. I didn't know at the time where I was going to go, but I needed to make it happen.

"I hate to see you leave, but I understand. I have some friends at your school. Let me see if I can pull some strings," James said when I finally got up the nerve to talk to him about it.

I know that I had James's connections with someone in the department to thank for applying all of my work history at the Stone Group toward my internship credit hours. I was able to graduate without having to complete another semester's worth of interning.

At some point in mid-December, I had thought that Kyle would have reached out because I finally received the paternity test results. He should have gotten his copy of the results at the same time. I didn't need to read them to know what they said. My nerves still fluttered in anticipation of receiving a text or a call from Kyle admitting he was wrong. That never happened.

Everything in my life felt like it was leading up to the worst Christmas I would have in years. I felt so alone on Christmas morning while Leo excitedly opened his presents from Santa Claus. I was too depressed to have remembered to put a package under the tree for me. Fortunately, Leo was too distracted by all of his new toys to have noticed that Mommy didn't have anything to open.

We were still in our pajamas when Marci and Davey came over for brunch. Since they lived in the same building, they came over in their pajamas too.

"I brought a hot dish," Marci announced as I opened the door.

"I thought you were making cinnamon rolls. I made sausage balls and hash browns," I said.

"I'm making the cinnamon rolls," Davey announced. "I just need your oven to finish them. That way, everything smells nice and festive."

I let them bustle about in my small kitchen while I set up TV trays and made the champagne mimosas for us to drink. Leo kept getting into the middle of the kitchen trying to show off his new toys.

"Baby, you can show Aunt Marci your new dinosaurs when she is done. There's not enough room in the kitchen for you and your dinosaurs," I said as I guided him out of the kitchen yet again.

"Why don't you help me find a good Christmas movie to put on to watch while we wait for breakfast?" I asked him.

This had Leo distracted for maybe fifteen minutes, and then he was back in the kitchen trying to tell Davey about how Santa ate the cookies we left out and he had the crumbs to prove it.

I don't know what it is about fashion that women's clothing can't have pockets, but little boys' pajama pants can. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of cookie crumbs.

"Leo, you do not have cookies in your pockets," I exclaimed.

"I only have the crumbs that Santa left." He showed me more crumbs that he pulled from the other pocket.

"Oh, baby, you can't keep cookies in your pajama pockets. Come here." I pulled him next to a garbage can and wrestled his pockets inside out and began brushing off the rest of the cookie crumbs that were sticking to the flannel fabric.

Leo whined. "But Mommy, that's my proof that Santa was here."

I pointed to the Christmas tree. "Isn't that enough proof for you?"

After the cookie in pocket debacle, I got him to settle down until Marci and Davey were ready with the food.

Marci handed me an envelope. "Merry Christmas," she said.

I set the envelope down and pointed to a box under the tree. "Leo, will you bring that to me for Aunt Marci?"

He got up and dragged the heavy box to Marci and Davey. "This is from Leo and me," I said.

"You open yours first," Marci told me.

I opened the envelope. Inside was a festive Christmas greeting card, a crisp hundred-dollar bill, a folded-up sheet of paper, and the printout of an ultrasound.

I stared at the image for what felt like forever before an excited squeal left my mouth. "Oh, my God, how did you ever keep this secret from me? You're gonna have a baby!"

I got up and immediately hugged her and then hugged Davey. "You guys are going to make the best parents. Congratulations!" I looked at the unopened gift that sat on the floor between them. "You might want to leave that here. I can get you something else," I said.

Marci turned her attention to the box. "What do you mean?" she asked as she ripped open the top to a small case of wine. "Oh, yeah, I'm not drinking for a couple of months."

"Right," I said.

"But that's not everything." Marci pointed at the card.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I pulled out a folded printout of a flight itinerary and an address in Seattle. "You're moving?" I asked. Christmas was dissolving around me, and I started to cry.

"Don't cry," Marci said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Look." She rattled the printout with travel arrangements on it at me.

"With the kid on the way, we thought it would be better to be close to my family," Davey started.

"But what about Marci's family?" I asked.

"Marci doesn't have contact with anyone in her family," Davey pointed out.

"I'm her family," I practically shouted.

"You are," Marci said. "That's why we want you to come with us." She shook the paper again.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You said it yourself, there's nothing keeping you here any longer, and you've always thought about maybe moving to the Pacific Northwest. This is a perfect opportunity. Come to Seattle with us."

I finally looked at the paper she was pushing at me. It was plane tickets to Seattle for me and Leo. My jaw dropped open. I stared at her, and then I stared at Leo. I couldn't say that my job was keeping me here because it wasn't, and the only people who would have kept me in Chicago were now moving.

"I'd have to get a job," I said numbly.

"You have to get a job anyway," Marci pointed out.

I looked around our small apartment. "We'd have to pack everything up."

"We're getting a moving truck in a couple of weeks. You can just add your stuff to it."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Marci wouldn't agree to move if she didn't think that you would be able to come also," Davey said. "I know better than to try to split the two of you up."

"I already have a job starting just after the first of the year," Marci said.

"But what about your job?" I asked Davey.

"I have something lined up to start at the end of January."

"What about a place to live? Do they have old neighborhoods like this?" I asked.

"We were really hoping you would say yes because we've already rented a house with more than enough room for you and Leo," Marci said.

"Wait, you want us to live with you?"

"We are already over at each other's places all the time, and this way, we can help each other out. I was hoping you would be willing to help with the baby," Marci said.

"Of course I am willing to help with the baby. Yes, oh, my God, yes!" There was no reason to stay here. I'd have to find a new school for Leo, but he was young enough that it wouldn't be a problem. All I needed to do was give notice for the apartment and find a job in Seattle.

What I thought was going to be an uneventful and sad Christmas had turned out to be one of the best Christmases ever. I was given a chance at a new life.

The week following was a blur of activity. The landlord was feeling generous and only charged me for one more month if I could be out by January first because there was a waiting list for the building. We moved everything into Marci and Davey's place in a matter of days, and on the second day of January, Marci, Leo, and I were on a plane relocating to Seattle. Leo didn't miss a bit of school since I managed to get him registered before the term started.