27. Clarissa

27

CLARISSA

I didn't see him all the next week. When Kyle didn't come into the office again on Monday after not being around, I expected it was because he had more client meetings I wasn't aware of. I knew he could get busy and forget to reply to texts. I tried to not take it personally, even though I really did. I knew things would be fine once I saw him again, so I tried not to think anything of it. And I didn't, not until later that morning when James called everyone into the conference room.

"Clarissa, I need you to join us," he said as he tapped on my desk.

"My backup receptionist isn't here until after lunch."

James made an affirmative noise in his throat, nodded, turned around, and crossed the small lobby area before locking the front door. "It's not like we're expecting anyone to come, and the phones can go to voicemail."

"Okay," I said a little nervously as I followed him to the conference room.

When I got there, I expected everyone to be gathered around the table looking over the final plans for the upstairs remodel. Everything had been signed off on, and building was underway. The plans were to not knock a hole in James's current office until his upstairs office was finished. I automatically assumed this impromptu meeting was about the timeline for that.

"Okay, everyone," James started. "As everyone knows, we are officially becoming the Chicago office for the Kyle Love Firm."

I cast my gaze around the conference room. Everybody Kyle had brought in, Steve, Nick, and Alayna, were all there. Kyle was the only person missing.

"Shouldn't Kyle be here for this?" I blurted out without even thinking.

"That's what I'm here to talk to you about," James said with an expression I thought might be a touch of disappointment. "Kyle has decided to relocate, at least temporarily, back to Hong Kong. I will be staying in the office a little bit longer than originally contracted for while he manages a situation overseas."

I shot Alayna with a hard glare. She knew and she hadn't said anything. She grimaced and looked away. I knew in my gut that grimace wasn't meant for me.

"He didn't say anything to me about that," Steve said.

Alayna cleared her throat, and everybody turned their attention to her. "It's my understanding that something came up rather suddenly. His original plan was to only be there for a few days last week. Apparently, the situation requires his attention on a more full-time basis," she said.

My stomach plummeted. I couldn't tell if I was breathing or not. I knew he hadn't been around, but no one had said anything about his being out of the country. This was somehow worse than the first time he had taken off without saying goodbye.

After all, this time, he knew he had a son. He knew how much it had hurt me when he chose to leave before. My immediate discomfort was rapidly replaced by a fiery ball in the center of my chest. I was incandescent with rage. I sucked in a breath and held it, preventing myself from screaming.

"Are you okay, Clarissa?" Alayna asked.

I pasted a smile across my face, not expecting to fool anybody but needing to fool myself. "I'm fine. Sorry, you were saying?" I gesture back at James to continue whatever it was he needed to say. By that point, I could no longer hear words, just the roaring and pounding of my pulse in my ears.

I sat there and stared at the wall over James's shoulder as he continued to give what I could only think might've been a pep-talk about how the office would continue to function under the Kyle Love brand regardless of his presence. I didn't hear the words, and I didn't really pay attention. It wasn't until everybody was leaving the room and Steve stopped and patted me on the shoulder that I realized the meeting was over.

I startled, looking up at him. "I'm sorry?" I asked, aware that I missed what he had said.

"I said it's just like the last time, isn't it?" he said.

"What's like the last time?" I asked. I was so stuck in my own head, I hadn't noticed that Steve looked almost lost.

"Kyle taking off for the other side of the world just as we're about to reach the end of a project," Steve explained.

"Oh, yeah, that." I let out a half -chuckle. I didn't see anything remotely humorous in the situation, but if I didn't laugh and joke about it now while I was at work, I was in danger of curling up on myself in a ball of crying mess. "You're the one who works for him. I would think this would be something you have to get used to."

"Yeah, I think he really pissed Alayna off this time," Steve said before leaving.

I was the last one to leave the conference room. I walked in a daze right past the crowded office that Alayna and Jenna shared.

"Clarissa," Alayna called out.

I might have heard her. I might've thought it was all a bad dream. I didn't stop until I reached the receptionist desk.

Alayna was right behind me. "Clarissa," she said again.

I looked at her and blinked a couple of times. I didn't know what she wanted of me or what I wanted her to say. There was nothing that she could say that could fix this situation. Besides, no one here was supposed to know there was even a situation that needed to be fixed.

"I just wanted to let you know that I didn't know there was anything between the two of you when he left for Hong Kong six years ago."

"Who says there's anything going on between us now?" I asked.

"I know the two of you are trying to keep it quiet. I'm not dumb, but Kyle is crap at keeping secrets," she said.

"This sudden need to be in Hong Kong seems to be a bit of a secret. Don't you think?" I asked.

"I seriously doubt he knew that he wanted to go to Hong Kong until he was on a plane and halfway there. There are some things he just doesn't think through," she said.

"But you figured there's something going on between us now?"

"I've had my suspicions, but it wasn't until I saw the two of you arguing that I actually worked it out. I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry he's being like this to you."

"Sure," I said. "He's such a great guy otherwise, right?" I didn't try to keep the disappointment or sarcasm out of my voice.

"He can be a real jerk," she admitted. "He's always been so good to everyone who works for him. I didn't think he would be like this to someone he cared about."

I laughed again, that bitter, derisive burst of air that held no mirth but prevented me from screaming. "Clearly, he doesn't care about me. If he did, he would have said something a week ago about going out of town. I would have found out from him, not from James, and not from you, that he had plans for not sticking around."

"I hope this doesn't change your decision to continue working with us," Alayna said.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"I'm aware that you're finished with classes soon and that you anticipate interning here for another semester. You're good at what you do, and we are lucky to have you."

I stared at her for a long moment. "Did James put you up to that?" I asked.

Alayna shook her head. "That's my own opinion."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

At that moment, I hadn't even considered what I would do next. All I knew was right then, I needed to shove all thoughts of Kyle Love out of my mind and focus on what I needed to do. I had a course to finish. I had an internship to finish. I had a little boy to take care of.

I stared at the wall just beyond Alayna.

"I think I need to take the rest of the day off. If you could let James know. I'm sorry, but I just can't be here right now," I said.

She nodded. "I understand. I'll let him know. Take all the time you need," she said.

"I don't have the luxury of letting this take too long," I said as I gathered my things. "I'm not in a position to run away to the other side of the planet every time things get a little complicated."

I unlocked the front door and stepped outside. The early winter wind was freezing and cut through my unbuttoned coat. It somehow felt appropriate after the bad news I had just gotten. I walked to the station and texted Marci while I sat on the train ride home.

I need you to get Leo this afternoon, and can you keep him for the night? I typed out. It was hard to see my phone through the blur of tears.

Did Kyle come back? Are you celebrating? She texted, followed by an eggplant and a peach emoji.

He left me again .

The fucking coward, where is he? Do you need me to beat him up for you?

I smiled weakly at her fierce protection over me. I never would have survived the last time he left if it wasn't for her. It didn't seem fair that she was the one to have to take care of me again.

He ran away to Hong Kong again.

That bastard. Don't worry about Leo. I'll take care of him. Are you okay she asked.

I'm going to get drunk and cry myself to sleep as soon as I get home.

I will check on you tonight to make sure you're still breathing, but I'll keep Leo with me and Davey , she texted.

Thank you. I owe you so much . I sent the text to Marci and then stared at my phone for the entire train ride home. There was nothing keeping me from texting Kyle. Only, for some reason, I couldn't.

He hadn't bothered to reach out to me once in the past week to let me know he had left, so why was it my responsibility to ask him why he left me again?