Chapter 60

MILA

I sitin the coffee shop and I'm not alone.

Jax stands up and walks around the table.

He leans down and kisses the top of my head.

He doesn't say goodbye. Or anything. Which is actually a good thing.

Jax knows what I need from him right now.

I watch him walk away.

I sip my coffee.

And I wait.

Willow shows up a minute or so later.

I quickly stand up.

She looks tired. Her eyes are puffy from crying.

She runs toward me and throws her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry for everything I said," she whispers.

"Don't be. You were scared and protective of him. I get that." I inch Willow back. "Do you know how weird it was for me to call Jax for help? With your brother?"

She nods. "I owe him an apology too."

"Willow. It's okay. I mean it. I'm the one who should apologize to you. For letting this happen. I didn't mean for it to happen like this. Okay? It's just been hard. And it's not an excuse to talk about my classes and all that…"

"This is his issue, not yours," Willow says. "He's getting help. Today. Right now."

"Really?"

"I'm driving him to a place."

"Wow. I can't believe he's okay with it."

"I think he really scared the shit out of himself. I made him clean up the mess in his dorm on his own. And I made him look at the texts he sent you like a million times. I also think having Jax there… I don't know. Maybe he was so used to him and Jax wanting to fight… that if Jax was there to help it must be a really bad thing. Whatever it is or was or whatever, he's getting help."

"That's good," I say. "I'm happy for him."

"He wants to talk to you before he leaves."

"He does?"

"He's outside."

I look and there he is.

Ward just standing there, looking around.

"I told him I would talk to you first," Willow says. "So you don't feel blindsided by him."

I swallow hard. "Yeah. It's fine."

"Are you sure, Mila?"

"Yes. Let him say whatever he wants. The less baggage he takes with him into rehab, right?"

"Thank you for that," Willow says.

She hugs me again.

She leaves the coffee shop and I sit down.

I watch as she walks up to Ward and says something to him. He looks right at me.

Then he begins his walk toward me.

He enters the coffee shop and sits down where Jax had been sitting.

"Can I buy you a coffee?" I ask.

"No," he says. "You've done enough for me, Mila. Not just what happened either. It's been happening all the time, hasn't it?"

I nod.

"I didn't mean what I texted you."

"It sure scared me, Ward."

"I know it did." He looks down. "I just wanted your attention." He lifts his gaze. "I know it's been rough for us. I know I've put you in a bad position. I know we've said things to each other. I've said things. Done things…"

"Ward, I just want you to get some help," I say. "I don't want to find out you really did hurt yourself. Or worse. Okay? I don't want you dead. I can't believe I even have to say that."

"I know. It's fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up big time, Mila. I fucked everything up with us."

"Ward, you need to focus on yourself."

"I am. I will. I want to do this, Mila. I want to go to rehab and get this figured out. I know I can't live like this."

"For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for saying that. It's better than you being forced into rehab."

"There's something I need from you, Mila. There's only one way I can do this."

"Okay."

"You."

"Me?"

"You, Mila. You're the reason I'm doing this. You're the reason I'm going to make it through."

"No, Ward. That doesn't work. You have to do it for yourself."

"I am doing it for myself, Mila. But you're my inspiration for this. Knowing what I put you through and all that. It's not right. So I'm doing this to come back for you. That's what I'm trying to say. When I'm done with the program… or whatever they want to call it… I need to know you'll be here…"

My heart sinks a little.

Ward reaches across the table and tries to touch my hands.

I don't allow it.

He accepts defeat in that.

"Just say it to me then. I just need to know you'll be here, Mila."

My brain starts to scramble.

Do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs, Mila.

I start to nod.

"Okay?" Ward asks. "Yes? You'll be here…?"

"Yes," I whisper.

I swallow hard.

Ward offers up a smile, then stands up.

He stares at me for a few more seconds before leaving the coffee shop.

My heart is racing a little.

Ward walks up to his sister and she pats him on the back.

The two walk off into the distance.

I am glad that Ward is getting help. He needs it.

I feel a little empty inside though.

I don't like the feeling at all.

I look down at my phone.

There is one way to not feel so empty… and alone…