Chapter 33

MAC

Please don't make this into a thing, okay?

I knew the inevitable ending. So did you. You've been around long enough to know this was going to happen.

The word complicated isn't even close to how it all actually does feel.

You're not here for more of my story though. We both know that.

I'm not going to fill these pages with endless heartache, memory, and doubt.

If there is one thing he taught me through his style of teaching life… it's that you move on. You move forward.

What else are we supposed to do?

Please don't make me end up needing to get mean and say something awful just to chase you away. There's too much left here… I mean, not my story, but you know… what you want to read, right?

So let's leave this as-is right now, deal?

My father is dead.

He's gone forever.

I have to absorb that fact, not you.

That's for me to handle, not you.

(See? I'm getting mean already. Fuck. I don't want to talk about this anymore.)

My last words to you?

How about something romantic?

Like this…

The journey of finding love was so fucking worth it. And now I get to spend the rest of my life spoiling the hell out of Violet. Every little dream she has I will make come true.

Is that good?

I don't want to end this talking about my father. I don't want to think about the life he placed in front of me. I don't want to admit that sometimes it makes sense all he did because without it, I wouldn't be right here.

See, if I do that - if I think that way - it makes my chest hurt. Physically hurt.

So what do you want from me?

Do you want me to sit here and think about my amazing, romantic life with Violet?

Or do you want me to sit here and grieve the loss of my father?

Tell you what - you can choose.

You pick which version of Mac (Machine…) you want to have burned into your memory.

Okay?

Because this is the last time we talk.