Chapter 19

19

“ L una been out here before?” Qamar asked Jay, his voice echoing slightly in the vastness of his sprawling estate, the sun casting long shadows across the lush green lawn. The air was thick with the scent of blooming magnolias and freshly cut grass, a perfect backdrop for their conversation.

Jay scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit that revealed the weight of unspoken memories. “Nah,” he replied, glancing away as if the truth were hiding in the distance.

Qamar’s eyes shot to Jay with the quickness, a flicker of concern crossing his face. He knew that beneath Jay's casual tone lay a deeper story—one that intertwined their lives in ways that were both complicated and profound. Jay had once loved his sister, and the unfulfilled echoes of that affection lingered in the air. The revelation that Luna had never set foot on his estate felt like a crack in the surface, hinting at emotions that had yet to be fully explored.

“Damn,” Qamar surmised, the word escaping his lips like a whisper of realization.

“It wasn’t like that.” Jay laughed, a nervous chuckle that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Candi just?—”

“The one. I get it,” Qamar interjected, his gaze drifting toward the girls, who were doubled over in laughter, their joy a stark contrast to the tension that hung between the two men.

Jay gripped Qamar’s shoulders, his touch firm and reassuring. “I know that look. You ready to be all in, ain’t it?” His southern accent rolled off his tongue like honey, sweet and smooth.

“Hell yea.” They both laughed, the sound ringing out like a celebration of the moment. Love had a way of making everything feel lighter, even when the world around them was crumbling.

In that instant, Qamar felt an undeniable truth settle in his heart. His world might’ve been falling apart, but none of that mattered as long as Siasia was by his side. Where some men would’ve placed the blame on their woman, he held on to the notion that finding her would bring him profound knowledge. He’d watched it happen to the men around him, those who had found strength and wisdom in their love. Growing up surrounded by Black men who cherished Black women had given him an edge, a perspective that shaped his understanding of love and resilience. As they stood there, laughter echoing around them, Qamar knew he was ready to embrace whatever came next. As long as it included his mama .

He and Siasia had touched down in Alabama a little over two hours ago.

Qamar was blown away when Jay insisted on taking him to the back where his little sister, Meechie, grew his marijuana. To make things more legal, they started growing out in Colorado as well and seven years later, the business was doing well and thriving better than any of them could have anticipated.

The girls were sitting in the grass blowing trees all lady like. A sight, Qamar could get used to seeing Siasia in. She seemed carefree and living in the moment. He loved that for her.

“Qamar,” Siasia called out, waving him over because she was ready to get back in his skin. Knowing he was close but not close enough left a longing in her.

“Yea, baby ‘boy bout to be a man,” Jay jested.

Qamar cut his eyes at him. “Been a man, nigga.”

“Nah, you got kids and take care of them but when you find a woman—like a real woman—beautifully flawed and somehow perfect because you only see the good in them—then you become a man. Vowing to protect them at all costs. Even the older flawed version of them you couldn’t get to fast enough to save. Yea, baby boy, you’ll be a real man then. Standing on big business and thriving in everything you touch. Watch how your life unfolds just for her to come in and clean house, showing you, you ain’t even know shit.” Jay stood with relaxed posture, shoulders slightly apart, exuding a sense of calm and authority. He laid his hand on Qamar’s shoulder, patting it slightly yet firmly in a loving way.

Qamar could only stare at Siasia, concluding that her brown skin under the sun had to be the best thing he’d ever witnessed. More artistic than the Mona Lisa. Warmth covered her skin and filled her smile when her head fell back from whatever had been said.

“I gotta figure this shit out ‘cause I want to give her the world. If she wants a fuckin’ ranch with horses like this, I want to give it to her without question,” Qamar confessed.

“And you will. Let’s not act like you out here down bad, Qamar. I know the assets your people set up before your balls dropped.”

“Aye, Candi, come get your husband!” Qamar yelled side eyeing Jay with laughter in his voice.

The two men walked over to the girls where they fell into a natural rotation of the blunts being passed around. The feel of the exotic strain of bud entering their system had all of them in love and floating on a damn cloud.

Qamar pulled Siasia into his lap while Jay and Candi looked like they were ready to head in and do nasty things. Their kids were in the house with Jay’s father who said he’d look after them in case Jay and Candi wanted to show Qamar and Siasia a night out in the country.

“So, do y’all want to go out?” Candi asked, chewing on her lip. Any chance she got to hang at the hole in the wall down the road, she was game.

Siasia looked back at Qamar for permission. When he nodded, she squealed. “Yes, boo. Show me what that country life really about.”

“Oh, baby you ain’t even ready. You ever rode on a four-wheeler?” Candi asked, ready to be young for the night with her new youthful friend.

Jay and Candi were in their early thirties but loved on each other like teenagers.

Siasia only wished for that type of love. “They so cute, ain’t they?” she commented with hearts in her eyes.

Qamar pulled her face towards him, swiping his tongue across her bottom lip. “We cute too, mama.”

Siasia felt a rush of warmth creep up her cheeks as Qamar leaned in closer, his playful words wrapping around her like a sweet melody. His smile was infectious, and the way he looked at her made her heart flutter. She could feel her skin heat up, a telltale sign of her shyness as he complimented her laughter, saying it was the best sound he’d ever heard.

Wanting to taste him on her lips, she sucked her lip into her mouth, sucking all his essence off. “How cute are we?” Her tone came out like a growl and very lusty.

“If you suck on your lip like that again, we won’t be in nobody’s juke joint tonight, mama. What you trying to do?” His light brown orbs had a fire in them.

“Can I do both?” Siasia inquired.

“Mama, you can have any and everything when it comes to me. All you gotta do is ask.” He shoved his tongue between her slightly parted lips. An animalistic growl shook stomach and coated her skin with buttons that begged to be pressed by him.

“Oh, no.” Candi yanked Siasia out of his lap. “See, uh un. We going out, so let’s get ready.” She pouted, already knowing the effects of their good weed and serene estate that made everyone want to get high and fuck.

“I’m just gone sample it right quick.” Qamar laughed, chasing behind Siasia, swooping her into his arms once he caught up with her.

Candi and Jay watched them with big smiles on their faces. Candi could see so much of herself in Siasia that she wanted to build something meaningful with her. She could see herself taking her under her wing and just loving on her like she wished she’d been loved on as a young girl. It was why she went tooth and nail up against Black Excellence Magazine when they tried to demand she use their photographer. If Siasia couldn’t do the shoot then it wasn’t happening.

As the four-wheeler rumbled down the dark country road, the night wrapped around Siasia and Qamar like a cozy blanket. The air was thick with humidity, a typical Alabama May night, and the scent of blooming magnolias lingered in the warm breeze. Siasia felt the vibration of the engine beneath her, a steady pulse that matched the rhythm of her excitement.

Qamar drove with a relaxed ease, his laughter mixing with the soft hum of the tires against the gravel. Siasia leaned back against him, her heart racing not just from the thrill of the ride but from the closeness they shared. The moonlight danced on the trees, casting playful shadows that flickered like memories of the past. Of a life they shared in an alternate universe.

In the distance, she saw the glow of the juke joint, a beacon promising a night filled with music and laughter. She was ready to shake her ass and let loose after dealing with the hand she and Qamar had recently been dealt. He didn’t seem to waiver while she could only think about what his next move was going to be. He told her about Arkansas, but something in her gut told her that wasn’t going to happen.

Candi and Jay were ahead, their voices floating back to them, filled with playful banter that made Siasia smile. She felt Qamar’s warmth beside her, his presence grounding yet electrifying, as they prepared to lose themselves in the night. As they approached the juke joint, Siasia’s anticipation grew and it all felt familiar. The promise of good times and even better company hung in the air, and she couldn't wait to dance under the stars, losing herself in the rhythm of life and love.

Country people were so welcoming. Everyone they passed, spoke to them with some even offering hugs that Siasia happily accepted. Siasia wrecked her brain, trying to figure out why the setting looked like something she seen before. The image hit her like a ton of bricks. Her mama had a picture of her teen years posing in front of a building that looked just like that. She couldn’t wait to ask her mom what part of Alabama she was from.

The music blasted through the dimly lit building, shocking the hell out of the two of them. When they thought of a juke joint, they thought it would be filled with old people listening to old ass music. So far, their assumptions had been wrong. It was filled with old and young people while Pretty P rapped her raunchy lyrics about swallowing some nigga’s kids.

Siasia’s head bobbed as she held onto Qamar who followed behind their gracious hosts. In the corner there was a man that looked like he was Jay’s twin.

Jay leaned over to them. “This my brother, Nard. Nard, this Qamar and his girl, Siasia. He’s Luna’s little brother,” he added just to see the look on his brother’s face.

Siasia didn’t want to stare too hard, but Nard was fine. He was the prettier version of Jay, and Jay was the type of fine you lost your mind over. Then, he was a country boy and sweet on his girl. She knew so many hearts were broken when Candi claimed him as her own. Siasia didn’t understand how Qamar’s sister, Luna, let his sexy, polite, and paid ass go.

“Get fucked up,” Qamar gritted in her ear, making her giggle.

Her man was no slacker in the looks department either. Qamar was more her speed with medium length locs and those pretty light brown eyes surrounded by thick brows that matched his perfect beard and kissable lips.

Nard greeted them then told them to get whatever they liked. He had a few different liquors on the table, and they were told to tell one of the bartenders what kind of juice they wanted.

Jay grabbed a bottle with a horse on the cap that intrigued Qamar. “Aye, what you drinking?” he asked over the loud music that Siasia had already started bouncing her ass to.

“Oh, this Blanton, baby boy. This some of the best whisky in the world, right here. Get you a cup and sip slow.” Jay nodded to one of the empty cups on the table. “This for the get money niggas.”

“Then, pour me up.” Qamar rubbed his hands together before grabbing a cup and tilting it for Jay to pour him up. Inhaling it, he noticed it smelled like it had been aged in a barrel. Next, he took a sip. The brown liquor was smooth with hints of caramel.

Eyeing the liquid go down his throat, Jay nodded with a knowing smile on his face. “Good ain’t it?”

“Yes,” Qamar’s head fell into the same rhythm as Jay’s. “Hell yea,” he doubled down, taking the rest to the head.

Siasia didn’t get a drink, instead, she allowed the weed to flow through her body as the music kept her ass popping. Bending over, she made her ass clap in front of Qamar who used both hands to rub all over her, making sure to show her fat pussy some attention too. The leather biker shorts she had on gave him the perfect view of her goodies when she bent over for him.

Qamar slapped her ass as Siasia grabbed her ankles and rolled her body, creating a circle on his crouch. He looked just as good in a pair of denim jeans with blinged out appliques on them. He pair it with a baseball jersey that he left open to show his sculpted abs and to spice it up, he wore timberland boots with the tongue hanging. Siasia matched his fly with her leather shorts and the same baseball jersey tied under her full breasts with a throwback pair of Manolo Blahnik’s that she’d thrifted years ago.

“Work that nigga, sis!” Candi yelled, loving when couples danced in the club. Because one thing she was always going to do was dance and sing to her man off key.

Siasia’s tongue wagged as she did her big one, showing out was an understatement. People couldn’t help but to look at the way her curvy body moved like water. The DJ switched up the music, causing Qamar’s hands to go up in the air when the beat dropped. Drake’s Legend blasted through the speaker and by his reaction, Siasia knew she needed to pull her phone out to capture the moment.

“If I die, all I know is I’m a muthafuckin’ legend, it’s too late for my city, I’m the youngest nigga repping. Oh, my god if I die I’m legend.” He opened his shirt while rapping every word as if he’d written the lyrics himself.

“Yea! Oh!” Siasia became his hype man while capturing ever move.

The tattoos on his chest glistened from the body lotion he made sure to put on and every time he opened his mouth, his bottom grill shined.

“I got this shit mapped out strong,” Qamar crooned, reminding her that he could really sing.

In her mind, he could do everything and the way he hadn’t failed at anything, was all the confirmation she needed. His energy amplified everyone around him, to do the same and play the part. When it was time to call it a night, they agreed that a time was had. Jay and Candi’s house was so massive in size that they were able to stay the night and be able to get to business tomorrow. So far, the trip to country ass Alabama was what their souls needed. The good food, country air, and better people was just what the doctor ordered. The ride back to the Black Estate was chaotic but so much fun. Now, Siasia was stumbling in the room, trying her best not to make too much noise or wake up the kids.

“Take them clothes off, mama,” Qamar ordered as he closed and locked the door.

Siasia’s body shivered from the slur and gruff in his voice. “Make me,” she challenged, trying to play hard to get knowing full well her pussy was leaking and begging to suck his big dick inside and ride it until the sun came up.

While unbuckling his pants, he eyed her, his eyes sitting low and driving her wild. “Stop playing with me. Take them clothes off and open that pussy up for me.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, a nervous tremor coursing through her knees as anticipation built in the air around them. With a teasing glint in her cat-like eyes, she slowly peeled off her shirt, revealing her full breasts, their hardened nipples standing proudly against the warm air. The fabric slipped from her fingers, pooling at her feet, and her heart raced as she stepped out of her bottoms, the soft fabric gliding down her legs. She tossed her soaked thong playfully at Qamar, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips.

Qamar caught the thong mid-air, a smirk playing on his lips as he brought it to his nose, inhaling deeply, savoring the intoxicating scent of her arousal. A flush crept up her cheeks, heat radiating through her body.

Oh my—” she squealed, laughter bubbling up as he tackled her onto the bed, his lips finding hers in a flurry of wild kisses that ignited her senses.

With a gentle yet firm grip, he pinned her hands above her head, his gaze softening as he took in every detail of her—her flushed cheeks, the way her chest rose and fell with each breath, the sparkle of mischief in her eyes.

“ Home ,” he declared, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down her spine, before trailing kisses down her body, his fingers teasingly tweaking her nipples. Her back arched off the bed, lost in a euphoric bliss that enveloped her, leaving her breathless and craving more.

Another deep inhale came when he was face to face with her throbbing pussy. Qamar used his middle and index finger to spread her fluffy bottom lips a part. “Pretty and pink,” he detailed out loud, making her whimper.

Headfirst, he devoured her, making sure to lick every nook and cranny. Her body shook as he pulled nut after nut out of her with his fingers and mouth before he dicked her down so good, she snored like a baby for the rest of the night and into the afternoon.

The sun hung low in the sky, over the bustling city as Siasia stood behind her camera, heart racing with anticipation. This was it—her first professional photoshoot for a high-end magazine, and the weight of the moment pressed against her chest. The air was electric, filled with the hum of creativity and the promise of something extraordinary.

Siasia wished she’d been a part of the evolution of Candi. There was something so special about the feminine energy behind her eyes. Of course, Candi told her a little but there was never enough time to run it all down, play by play. However, Siasia longed for the tangible place in which Candi currently resided in, more than she ever knew. The longing came to her when Qamar first opened his mouth and again when she met Candi in The Jig, looking like she didn’t belong.

Jay and Candi, the dynamic duo and their four kids, were the stars of the campaign—celebrating Black entrepreneurs who had carved their paths to success before turning forty. They exuded confidence, their laughter ringing out like music as they playfully posed against the backdrop of a vibrant mural that celebrated their heritage and triumphs.

Siasia adjusted her lens, capturing the way the sunlight danced off Candi's radiant skin, illuminating her features like a goddess. Candi's smile was infectious, a blend of warmth and determination that radiated through the frame. Jay, with his sharp jawline and charismatic presence, leaned in closer, their chemistry palpable. The way they interacted was a beautiful dance, a testament to their partnership both in business and in life.

“Just be yourselves,” Siasia encouraged, her voice steady despite the fluttering in her stomach. “Let the world see your story.”

As they moved effortlessly, Siasia snapped away, each click of the shutter capturing not just their images but the essence of their journey—struggles, victories, and the unbreakable bond they shared. The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows that intertwined with their silhouettes, creating a mesmerizing tableau of ambition and love.

In that moment, Siasia felt a swell of pride. This was more than just a job; it was a celebration of resilience and the beauty of Black excellence. She was honored to be the one to tell their story, to immortalize their achievements through her lens. Each photograph was a testament to their hard work, a reminder that dreams could be realized with passion and perseverance.

“Look this way, Cup and Cake,” she directed their twin girls who were thirteen now and little ladies. They were adopted young and although they still lived in Texas with their adoptive parents, they spent a lot of time with their biological mother.

You could tell Candi loved her children by the way she looked at them. Then there was Jayshun Black II who was only five followed by their three-year-old daughter, Confection. Candi was clearly on her rich people shit when she named her baby girl that. It was cute though. They were cute and Black love in physical form.

As the shoot wrapped up, Jay and Candi exchanged a knowing glance, their eyes sparkling with gratitude. Siasia felt a rush of joy, knowing she had captured not just their images but the very spirit of who they were. This was just the beginning, and she couldn’t wait to see where her journey as a photographer would take her next.

“It’s so damn nice out here,” Siasia commented, taking in the beautiful gardens of the Black Estate. Her heart danced with joy after she wrapped up the photoshoot. The golden sunlight filtered through the leaves of the garden, casting a warm glow on them.

“Thank you, boo. You can come back anytime.” Candi’s eyes told her the invitation was real. It wasn’t the one when people offered to be nice, knowing damn well they never wanted to see you again. Candi was sincere.

Qamar locked his finger into Siasia’s under the table. “You really keep trying to steal my girl.”

“Told you, I used to swing both ways.” Candi cackled when Jay glared at her.

They settled around a rustic wooden table adorned with colorful dishes, the aroma of grilled vegetables and spiced chicken wafting through the air, filling them with a sense of contentment. The clinking of glasses and the sound of their playful banter created a symphony of happiness that wrapped around the table like a cozy blanket.

“Buy me one of these,” Siasia joked with Qamar.

He chewed his chicken before asking, “You serious?”

Her head fell back. “I wouldn’t know what to do with all this damn land. It’s nice to visit, but I ain’t no country girl, for real. My mama from Alabama so it might be in my blood.”

“For real, what part?” Jay asked.

“I don’t know. She left and I ain’t been back since I was about six or seven. We don’t talk to family or go to family reunions.” She shrugged her shoulder like it was no big deal.

“What’s her last name?”

“Ford,” Siasia retorted with the quickness. If someone could put her in touch with some family, she was all for it.

Jay rested his chin on his hand. “I don’t think I know any Fords.”

“Hell, me either,” she joked, and they all laughed to lighten the mood.

Just as she leaned back, savoring the moment, her phone buzzed on the table, breaking the spell. It was Ally. Siasia hesitated, memories of their last encounter flooding her mind—the awkwardness of the failed lunch date, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.

With a deep breath, she answered, her smile fading as Ally’s voice trembled through the line.

“Siasia, I… I don’t know how to say this,” Ally’s voice cracked, and Siasia’s heart dropped, sensing the weight of tragedy behind her words. “Your mother was murdered… by Stacy. He… he turned the gun on himself after. She was just cooking when the argument started, and then… the gas caught the trailer on fire.”

The phone fell from Siasia’s hands. Her body shook in shock.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” Qamar asked. “Siasia.” He shook her body after seeing her face go blank.

Tears filled her eyes. Gasping for air, Siasia held onto the table.

“Siasia, what’s wrong?” Candi went to her side while Qamar tried to get her to talk.

He looked down at her phone and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Um, this Siasia’s friend. Her mama was just killed by her husband,” Ally revealed, sounding just as shook up.

Without much that was deemed newsworthy happening in Lynn Beach, the murder slash suicide was all over every news channel and radio. When Ally heard the news, she connected with a few people from the trailer park through social media to figure out where Noodle and Siasia was. It was how she knew to call her to inform her on what had happened. Ally loved Siasia in a weird way and the lack of communication over the last few weeks wasn’t enough to stop her from reaching out.

“Where is Noodle?”

“At a neighbor’s house. She got out the house but left her iPad in there.”

Coating his lips with his saliva, he thanked Ally before pulling Siasia from the table. As soon as he got her out her chair, she broke down.

“Mama.” Siasia’s stomach coiled as she wailed for her mother. “Oh, Mama,” she sobbed, breaking everyone’s heart.

How could it be that every time she felt a sliver of happiness, He slapped her back to reality? Siasia couldn’t live like this. The fear of success came with the fear of losing and she was tired of losing.